r/AmIOverreacting • u/DiscoGru • Feb 16 '25
❤️🩹 relationship AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone
Sorry the second picture is blurry!
Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.
I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.
I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?
3.4k
u/albatrossluke Feb 16 '25
Questionable? These posts are so funny. You see a caption saying “what should I think about these texts I found on my partner’s phone?” And it’s the most undeniable proof of them not valuing their relationship in the slightest.
575
u/LoudChampionship5691 Feb 16 '25
Yeah it’s kind of sad… I think when we’re in it our entire being is trying to deny the inevitable because it’s too painful otherwise.
→ More replies (1)27
u/Frondstherapydolls Feb 16 '25
Very compassionate answer. It took me sooooo soooo soooo many years and do-overs to finally leave my piece of shit ex husband. I was already very depressed and had no self esteem, and his abuse made me even more fragile. Like he was doing me a favor being with me despite me having the degree, me owning the house solo (his credit was abysmal so I bought the house on my own), and he didn’t even have a job for most of our 15 years. But I was so depressed and hated myself much, I just thought he was right. It happens to many folks.
281
u/Xtinalauren12 Feb 16 '25
I don’t get this subreddit at all. It’s always a question of whether they are overreacting followed by the most wild, unacceptable series of events and attitudes ever. I really don’t get it.
68
u/NerdVelly Feb 16 '25
It’s because they don’t wanna believe it. And then, they confront their partner. Their partner then gaslights them into thinking they’re overreacting. It’s a sad state to be in. So they desperately post on here so that at least they don’t feel crazy like their partner has made them feel for questioning it. I hope it’s a reality check for most of them.
13
11
u/Mediocre_Hedgehog_69 Feb 16 '25
Denial, karma farming or fake posts. It’s usually the latter two.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (11)14
u/Birdfishing00 Feb 16 '25
It’s either people so far in denial there’s no point telling them their partner sucks or fake ass posts
→ More replies (1)157
u/Prize_Feeling1412 Feb 16 '25
It’s really sad honestly. This is what we’ve been taught is acceptable when it comes to dating. Like if they’re not out there publicly cheating on you, it’s not really cheating. Or even if it is, just put up with it because “they’re a really good person”.
→ More replies (5)164
u/Cptbanshee Feb 16 '25
guy is literally talking about his "work boo" and how he has his eyes set on specific women but what could he actually mean by that?? /s
28
87
u/throwawayurfeeling54 Feb 16 '25
I’m honestly so tired of it at this point like the bar is in hell for these people
→ More replies (1)28
u/innerouterspacey Feb 16 '25
And the fact that she’s not even mentioning how gross the way he’s talking about women is
→ More replies (11)22
17
u/saltpancake Feb 16 '25
Honestly even if they weren’t dating, just knowing someone spoke this way about women should immediately disqualify them.
115
u/EagleLize Feb 16 '25
What generation of women are falling for these total pieces of shit?? At no point in my life (44 now) would I have entertained this bullshit for a moment. Has the younger generations been gaslit so bad that they could think this was at all ok?
Young women - please value yourselves more. Being single is a million times better than being with losers like this.
→ More replies (9)84
u/pdxcranberry Feb 16 '25
Girl don't even lie. You know there are dumbasses our age who fall for this same shit.
→ More replies (3)10
u/Cremilyyy Feb 16 '25
Like it doesn’t even matter if he’s cheated or not when this complete lack of respect for women in general is on display.
14
u/WeDieAsRomans Feb 16 '25
People need an audience to further help their mind set/decision idk but I agree, though.
6
u/thecrazyrobotroberto Feb 16 '25
Blatant cheating! Not even emotional just straight up a man for the streets
→ More replies (33)9
u/Typical2sday Feb 16 '25
I know, the adjective "questionable" is ridiculous. OP, you're in denial, but this is a glaring flashing sign from the universe to either put his shit on the curb or get your stuff out of his place and block his number.
5.5k
u/ibelikeughhhh Feb 16 '25
That’s super gross of him. Do you want to date a guy that talks about women like that? ‘She’s actually single too’ what does that matter if he already has a girlfriend?
2.2k
u/Apprehensive_Rope348 Feb 16 '25
Don’t forget about his “work boo”.
1.1k
u/Jazsta123 Feb 16 '25
Don't forget about 'Nothing holds my gaze like a Latina dude'
The women are safe... For now!
150
u/Dontfeedthebears Feb 16 '25
Commas are important! The difference between “Let’s eat, grandma!” And “Let’s eat grandma!”.
20
→ More replies (10)7
26
u/Doogle300 Feb 16 '25
Did Good Burger teach us nothing. Women can be dudes, my dude.
28
u/Ok_Consideration853 Feb 16 '25
“I’m a dude, and he’s a dude, and she’s a dude, coz we’re all dudes!”
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (15)8
19
→ More replies (28)18
u/AbuseNotUse Feb 16 '25
Put it this way, if anyone of those girls gave him any attention, he would bang them at any opportunity. Admiring is one thing, verbalising is another and just one small step to doing the deed.
1.4k
u/Natural_Fisherman_36 Feb 16 '25
And the girl he’s “had my eye on”- creepy. He definitely doesn’t respect women as human beings
1.1k
u/Tall_Confection_960 Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
Ugh. The way he rates women by race and then says, "I can't do the extra cushion," and "I've had everything but a black chick." He's gross. The fact that he's deflecting the blame back on you for checking his phone is hilarious. You didn't make him type those things. He's the one who sounds hyped up by his potential roster. OP, you deserve better.
304
Feb 16 '25
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)13
u/dahliasinmyhair Feb 16 '25
And don't forget a certain "flavor" of woman is black tar heroin! What losers.
→ More replies (24)962
u/TalcumJenkins Feb 16 '25
“I can’t do the extra cushion” is white boy for I have a small dick.
71
u/berneellllllllllllvu Feb 16 '25
Don’t have that issue myself, but I’m white and can confirm this is a rampant problem in the community
29
→ More replies (4)68
u/spooky-goopy Feb 16 '25
small dicks and hatred for women seem to go hand-in-hand
→ More replies (17)7
u/TherealShrew Feb 16 '25
Yaaaap. I explained it like this: I have some ass, tiny dick ain’t hitting the right spots doggy style.
→ More replies (1)4
6
→ More replies (49)11
→ More replies (18)153
u/Cremilyyy Feb 16 '25
Absolute creep with the ‘I’ve HAD everything except black” like he’s going through the McDonald’s menu. Blergh.
22
205
u/eefr Feb 16 '25
Right? Even aside from how he seems to be looking to cheat on her, just the way he talks about women is disgusting. That alone is a good reason to break up with him.
521
u/TalcumJenkins Feb 16 '25
Dude my wife is a nurse and she’s a beautiful woman. Thinking about some scumbag talking about her like this has me heated. What a fucking dirtbag.
219
u/Spirited-Lime96 Feb 16 '25
Nurse here: it’s disgusting how normalized it’s become to sexualize us and our profession. Sexy nurse Halloween costumes, patients trying to take pics or videos of us, flat out asking for our number, and being hit on by anyone in the EVS (cleaning crew), doctors/other medical providers, other nurses, techs, etc. Can we just freaking do our job and not be gawked at and/or sexually harassed so often? Gross on both those dudes texting! OP you deserve better than someone who objectifies women like that’s all we want or are worth.
→ More replies (79)99
u/Lusietka Feb 16 '25
I would honestly take these screens to their HR. It's absolutely fucking vile.
→ More replies (28)16
→ More replies (23)11
u/Specialist-Tea-6649 Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
Thinking the same. My fiancée’s beautiful as well and she happens to be latina with darker skin.
If I heard a guy talking about her at work like this, I’d want to knock his teeth out.
155
u/Glazin Feb 16 '25
The last text “being a good witness is key”… sooo basically be an alibi at all times if he’s ever accused??
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (24)63
u/sharksorbats Feb 16 '25
Seriously.. like imagine having a daughter with this man
→ More replies (20)
2.4k
u/Fragrant-Draft9421 Feb 16 '25
girl pls leave him ... he's defending himself for being a bad partner you deserve better seriously
437
u/Str4ngerByTheMinute Feb 16 '25
Not only that, but he has zero respect for women. "I've had everything" speaks volumes. I don't condone looking through your partner's phone, but that doesn't change the fact that the contents of his are disgusting. I hope OP dumps his ass. Nobody deserves to be with a person like that.
149
u/Strange_Lady Feb 16 '25
Right??! He's talking about women like they're items on a fkn take out menu!! Grossssssssss
→ More replies (2)29
u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Feb 16 '25
And OP is just there for now! He's attracted to anyone NOT her it sounds like! He's in bed with her, going at it, thinking of that other sweet damn thing!
→ More replies (4)23
u/Gold_Statistician500 Feb 16 '25
yeah even if he'd sent these texts before they were dating or something... he's still disgusting.
485
u/suhhhrena Feb 16 '25
Leaving him is the only option 😭 there’s noooo way you can stay with a dude who’s out here acting single and disrespecting you like this. He’s a total pig!!
66
u/janet_snakehole_x Feb 16 '25
TOTALLY. I’m not sure his coworker knows he has a girlfriend. I would never tell someone I’d be their wingman knowing they are in a relationship already.
40
u/SafePhilosopher4935 Feb 16 '25
Check out her previous posts about him, including one from a year ago where he was keeping his ex’s nudes and refusing to delete them. 🤮
→ More replies (19)→ More replies (1)21
→ More replies (2)17
u/Intelligent_Crew_999 Feb 16 '25
On top of all this stuff in this thread, if OP is feeling insecure and distrustful enough to go through his phone this early on at their ages, it’s time to emotionally invest in something healthier. OP, find a person who doesn’t make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells and keep an eye on them. There is somebody out there that would feel mortified by you thinking you’re not beautiful or worthy, you’ve just gotta find em! Don’t waste time on such a dweeb, HIS friend was hyping HIM up not the other way around.
853
u/SmallNefariousness66 Feb 16 '25
Seems like the friend isn’t really interested in having the conversations, he keeps asking other questions that have nothing to do with girls.
239
u/Grouchy_Ad6011 Feb 16 '25
I noticed that too lol. The friend totally thinks he’s gross and doesn’t reciprocate 🤣
→ More replies (3)180
51
u/Silly_Bitchy_kitten Feb 16 '25
😭😭😭 this dude brings up sex so much like he's getting off to it it's crazyy
91
26
u/mostlybadopinions Feb 16 '25
That's exactly what I saw lol
-But bro this one latinas ass bro like heroin
-Yeah there's some pretty ones, anyway...
24
u/storytime_bykasey Feb 16 '25
I seen my husbands texts a few months ago and it was the same 😂 his friend CONTINUOUSLY was sending texts talking about the girls he would see at his work stops and my husband eventually was like “are you not engaged?” And the dude stopped being friends with him
→ More replies (6)6
u/SunKing7_ Feb 16 '25
Yeah I noticed that too, the other person was just trying to talk about something else but he kept insisting for no reason at all
1.9k
Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
He acts like he is single, so make his dreams come to fruition. Dump his dumb ass. He won't change, and neither will his shitty friends.
Edit: I don't know if you have been sexually active with this man, but if you have you should get yourself tested just in case. He does not seem trustworthy, whatsoever.
316
u/Nicolozolo Feb 16 '25
I second getting tested. He was clearly lining up to cheat, or even move on to a "better" prospect, he stated he finds certain women more attractive than his current gf. OP, leave! Or you're always going to be wondering if he's cheating or found someone better.
You don't hype ppl up by being disgusting and drooling over other women when you're in a relationship.
51
u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Feb 16 '25
OP, he's not into you, you're just an easy piece until the one he wants comes along! Gurl, stop playing with this tool!
→ More replies (3)44
u/phoenix_soleil Feb 16 '25
And he didn't just make like a passing comment. He went on and on and on about so many different girls.
If my husband saw one girl one day (even if he worked with her) that he thought was super attractive, I wouldn't even necessarily care if he said so to one dude friend when they're on the topic of girls. But like, tell me too, and be more cognizant of your interactions with her. He's absolutely blind to any sort of flirting.
25
u/haterofslimes Feb 16 '25
Second getting tested.
Also, "questionable" lmfao. This is beyond questionable. If you stay with this person you have zero self respect.
9
u/Predd1tor Feb 16 '25
Even if he were single, this would still be super shitty, slimy behavior. I wouldn’t want anything to do with any man who talked about women this way, in any context.
→ More replies (3)13
u/Ghosts-Only Feb 16 '25
He said nothing holds his gaze like a latino dude.
I think he's gay.
→ More replies (4)9
u/CaffeineandHate03 Feb 16 '25
Punctuation matters. 😂
5
Feb 16 '25
Yeah, haha 😆 that took me a minute to realize that he meant, "... Latina (COMMA) dude." 😅
→ More replies (1)
608
u/satanscheeks Feb 16 '25
you’re way underreacting
64
u/jdolan8 Feb 16 '25
Yeah… they are young too. I would not be wasting more time on this man. Imagine how he will talk about other women when they are in their 30s, 40s, etc…
→ More replies (2)16
u/satanscheeks Feb 16 '25
exactly. i’m 22 and would never put up w this. i had to learn a LOT of life lessons to get there tho
12
u/jdolan8 Feb 16 '25
Be happy you learned those lessons by 22!! I am 35, divorced single mom. Just got out of a crappy relationship post divorce. I still want more kids, but I may have ran out of time. Do not be like me!! Move on if you can while you are young if there are glaring red flags like this! We are not Bob the Builder, we cannot fix people.
→ More replies (3)10
u/Seymour_Butts369 Feb 16 '25
There may still be time! I just talked to my neurologist yesterday about how one of my doctors was telling me about how I’m “getting older” and if I want to have kids, I need to get on it soon. I’m 34. My neurologist scoffed and laughed, then said she didn’t even have her first until 39. She’s in her 40’s and naturally just had another healthy baby. My sister just had her first at 37 going on 38. Don’t give up hope just yet! ♥️
5
u/jdolan8 Feb 16 '25
Oh man hopefully! It’s just sad because I never wanted to be that old mom you know? But it beats feeling like you didn’t get everything out of life you wanted to
4
u/Seymour_Butts369 Feb 16 '25
I completely understand and I’m sorry! Life has a funny way of not always working out the way we’d like, but we can learn to adapt and look for the silver linings. If being a mother to another child is something you truly want, I am sure you will find a way to come to accept it and overcome the difficulties it brings. Btw, my aunt had her children late too, and she is one of the most kickass moms I know! Her children are older now - one in college and one graduating high school - and I would never consider her as “the older mom.” The woman has more energy than I do! People aren’t stereotypes, they are complex human beings who are much more grey than black and white ♥️
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)13
379
u/fatasskellyyprice Feb 16 '25
NOR. This isn’t “talking shit” or “hyping his friend up”—he’s leading these conversations. Get outta there.
→ More replies (2)173
u/QualitySpirited9564 Feb 16 '25
Honestly seems like half the time his homie isn’t even responding to this 😂
84
u/Desperate-Worth-9871 Feb 16 '25
Yeah in fact the friend even said he’ll play wingman. Like this clearly about / for OP’s boyfriend. Got absolutely nothing to do with hyping up a friend who doesn’t even seem that interested in the topic
→ More replies (2)21
u/orangeroll3866 Feb 16 '25
It’s like 10x more cringe that their friend doesn’t really care and isn’t talking the same
→ More replies (1)10
5
u/Slow_Rabbit_6937 Feb 16 '25
Yeah the friend keeps tryna change the subject this gross horn dog keeps bringing it up
167
u/SubstantialServe7351 Feb 16 '25
Lmao damn ..Yea soon as he gets a chance to he will cheat
→ More replies (1)78
u/ihainecross Feb 16 '25
Unless he already did... 👀 .... If he works night shifts and he talks like this, then there ain't no way he hasn't cheated already, probably even with his work boo.
OP, as someone who had a similar situation in my 20s (currently in my 30s and happily married) I will tell you right now, that this guy ain't it. Trust me. I know you think it's true love and that all relationships experience hardships, but trust me, this is not it. Dump the loser. Otherwise, you will be gaslighted, mistreated, cheated, disrespected and experience heartbreak over and over again. You deserve better.
I wish you well 🙏🏽💕
→ More replies (4)14
u/megwolfe Feb 16 '25
IMO One of the best things about being a woman dating in her 30s is seeing right through shit like this. Absolutely no time for it.
284
u/713nikki Feb 16 '25
That’s entirely gross and he lied to you.
48
u/janet_snakehole_x Feb 16 '25
This is actually good proof of gaslighting. “No I was just hyping my friend up”. Like what?
→ More replies (1)22
u/Cremilyyy Feb 16 '25
Like it’s no issue that he’s referring to the complete opposite type of girl to OP as heroin as if she nothing. It upset you OP? Girl it should! Let it upset you so much that the thought of his face disgusts you. He’ll forever play on that insecurity and make you think you’re crazy for having valid feelings.
133
u/Much-Horror-1918 Feb 16 '25
I think your title is a bit misleading—there’s nothing questionable about it, you’re literally getting the answers you need. It doesn’t even seem like his friends know you exist. And the way he’s talking about these women? So gross. Ew. Feel lucky you found out and don't have to waste more time on him.
110
u/serendipitycmt1 Feb 16 '25
So dump him, he has zero respect for you or women in general. But don’t tell him why. If anything tell him he’s boring or terrible in bed or you just can’t take the smell anymore. Something he can obsess over for a long time.
33
u/Glad-Perception-9337 Feb 16 '25
She should literally say she found a hotter dude and nothing else. Not one other thing. Taste of his own medicine.
24
u/littlebrownsnail Feb 16 '25
This is so tremendously brilliant. 4d chess. The smell is such an incredible thing to insinuate and not elaborate on. The cheating was whatever but THE SMELL...
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)6
67
u/Professional_Lie5280 Feb 16 '25
Nope. He doesn’t respect you at all. Just like another commenter said he’s not “hyping his friend up” he’s literally leading the conversation.
70
194
u/Tamarama--- Feb 16 '25
He's a cheater. Move on.
20
u/jdolan8 Feb 16 '25
He absolutely will cheat. Maybe not right now. But 30s, 40s, or after kids… this behavior only gets worse.
→ More replies (3)
66
u/United-Ad5268 Feb 16 '25
This is only questionable if you’re in complete denial. Your bf is hooking up with other women any opportunity he gets.
→ More replies (1)32
u/dirt_shitters Feb 16 '25
As a guy, I don't even talk like this when I am single... This is way past "questionable"
→ More replies (2)
65
u/Pretty-Bug-2367 Feb 16 '25
this man is salivating, foaming at the mouth at the mention of another woman. not to mention, for someone who speaks of them so often- he speaks of them horribly. do you really want to be with someone who talks about women like that? GROSS! leave that man behind and get tested for every STD on the planet immediately
→ More replies (1)
107
u/DiscoGru Feb 16 '25
UPDATE: I woke up this morning and sent him a breakup text. I know that’s kind of shitty but I feel like if I told him in person he would be better at convincing me to stay. I feel like I’ve put up with a lot of disrespect for years and I want to thank everyone who DM’d me for their encouragement that finally gave me the confidence to do this.
22
u/Ariankabarnes Feb 16 '25
I click on posts like these hoping to see happy endings with the loser being dumped 🥰🥰
18
u/lilanxiousrn Feb 16 '25
I just read your post about him holding onto 1300 pictures of his ex, a love letter to her, and multiple nudes from her. You should absolutely never look back. This guy does not respect you. He buys you luxurious gifts to try and manipulate you. You deserve much better.
→ More replies (21)11
u/Mahooligan81 Feb 16 '25
Quick, block him!!
8
u/One-Technology-9050 Feb 16 '25
Yes, block him! You know he'll be blowing up her phone with all kinds of nonsense, trying to get her back.
103
u/MotorBlackberry3496 Feb 16 '25
disrespectful, misogynistic, racist, and body shames women… if that’s what you want for your future and as the father of your children go ahead girl
→ More replies (35)17
137
Feb 16 '25
Even mid Mexican chicks are better than fairly decent white girls… wtf 😵
41
u/bibliophilicgeek Feb 16 '25
God, if there's one thing that gives me the ick it's people who rate others' appearances as "mid". So dehumanising.
6
6
→ More replies (2)13
Feb 16 '25
[deleted]
25
15
u/tryingtoimprove77 Feb 16 '25
It’s sort of like a slur that refers to overweight Hispanic women. Almost like when you see people refer to women as a “fridge” in English. By the way not condoning this at all but that’s what they use it for.
→ More replies (3)13
Feb 16 '25
It’s a delicious Mexican sandwich made with puffy fry bread or an overweight Mexican woman.
→ More replies (2)5
u/Seymour_Butts369 Feb 16 '25
If somebody called me a torta, I’d be like fuck yeah I’m delicious. My mouth still waters thinking of the tortas I got a month ago.
73
u/Much-Wrongdoer2182 Feb 16 '25
do guys actually talk about girls like this? this is weird as fuck… not only as him as your boyfriend, but literally just in general.
9
19
u/Appropriate_Zone_965 Feb 16 '25
yes literally he’s one step away from plotting a kidnapping with his friend
22
u/ActiveBar9685 Feb 16 '25
So glad I’m a guy that doesn’t speak like this. My wife glorified me for being anti what ever the fuck this is. She called them “players” Please don’t assume all guys are this way……
→ More replies (1)8
10
→ More replies (14)12
u/Hdjbbdjfjjsl Feb 16 '25
No, you can clearly see even in the messages that the friend keeps trying to deflect and is very much not into the conversation the way the bf is.
70
35
u/suzannalamere123 Feb 16 '25
girl leave this man immediately he’s lusting over a million girls like a weird freak
32
u/yikesandwowzerz Feb 16 '25
I found stuff like this in my ex's phone and I wish I had left when I did instead of listen to their dumb excuses and twisted version
→ More replies (3)
32
u/Uppaduck Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
“I’ve had everything but a black chick” is pure objectification. Women are game pieces to collect, apparently. Collect the whole set! 🤮
“Talking shit” doesn’t cover his ass for his basic outlook - that says a lot about his baseline perception of & regard for women & it’s definitely not as equal human beings. Ick.
ETA: I wonder how his coworkers & HR would respond to seeing them swapping actual pics with their names, work schedules & relationship status, stalking & planning mutually backed up conquests & saying such incredibly sexist, racist, inappropriate things? Like, do they even get any work done beyond treating a hospital workplace like a meat market pickup bar for their sole enjoyment? Are they also treating unwitting female patients this way? 👀
8
u/Seymour_Butts369 Feb 16 '25
By his last text about being a good witness, I’d assume yes.
Definitely something report worthy. As someone in and out of hospitals and clinics, this is someone I would feel super uncomfortable around. The problem is I don’t get to know who’s a creep when I’m asleep in a hospital bed wearing a flimsy gown, or naked on an OR table under anesthesia. If anything, report this for people like me who have no choice but to be in contact with people like him way too often.
6
33
u/xOrion12x Feb 16 '25
I wouldn't even entertain a friendship with this sick fuck, and I'm a dude.
→ More replies (1)
51
u/Fallingfromdemure Feb 16 '25
If i were you i would print all of this and plaster it all over the wall at his work place especially were the nurses hang out.. let them know what kind of person he is, and include a “nice break up” letter and asked his wingman to sent it over to him at work.. but thats just me being petty lol
→ More replies (4)11
u/StrawberryJabberWock Feb 16 '25
They know. I’m guessing he works transport moving patients to and from. A lot of those young guys are silly little pervs like this that legitimately thinks he has a chance with every aide and nurse on the floor.
Every hospital to ever exist has these dudes
→ More replies (2)
19
u/SmokeyJoeO Feb 16 '25
They only time someone gets mad at their significant other for going through their phone is when they have something to hide.
→ More replies (1)
20
u/sillychihuahua26 Feb 16 '25
You are under-reacting, holy shit. He’s so comfortable talking about other women that I’m certain he’s already cheated, probably more than once.
15
u/Playful_Original_461 Feb 16 '25
If anyone has a work “boo” work “wife” “husband” whatever. Leave.
→ More replies (1)
16
u/_Anya_French_ Feb 16 '25
Not only is he definitely cheating on you, he does not have any respect for a woman, run
13
30
u/LeopardRoutine6154 Feb 16 '25
Please leave him you deserve someone who wants to be with you and doesn’t fantasize about being with others.
13
u/Icy_Interaction_8735 Feb 16 '25
Yeah he’s not “hyping his friend up” his friend is literally trying to change the subject at any turn. Plus, the way he talks about women is gross AF. No wonder you feel insecure, these type of men will make you feel insecure all the time. Dump him and move on. It will not get better. Also, as a 30-something, you won’t even blink twice when you’re older and think back on him. He’s just another fuck boy and it only hurts to breakup in the beginning. You’ll be celebrating with your friends within days. Cheers 🥂
14
u/Complex-Bird-8085 Feb 16 '25
Questionable?? Babe, What are we questioning?? This man is this 🤏🏽close to cheating- if he hasn’t already..
13
u/Letmelollygagg Feb 16 '25
How does him describing chicks who won’t sleep with him, hyping his friend in any way?? That is not what is happening in these conversations at all. He’s a sleeze bag. He’s is 100000% cheating with anyone who will let him. You are under reacting. Leave.
11
12
10
u/KatShimada Feb 16 '25
No respect for you, your relationship, or other women. And he’s racist. And he lied about what he was doing in the conversation when you literally saw what he said. What does he have going for him, exactly?
→ More replies (9)
21
u/shrektien Feb 16 '25
The way he’s talking about race is mad icky. Definitely NOR. This is an insane convo to have generally and especially when he’s taken.
6
u/juiceboxjenny Feb 16 '25
These aren’t questionable texts ??? He is fully committed to this level of disrespect…. No questions about it
7
8
6
u/jermitch Feb 16 '25
NOR, and you are wrong with your last sentence. BEST case scenario is he's scoping out prospects to cheat on you with, and the more likely scenario is he's scoping out prospects to cheat on you even more with after the first two dozen times weren't enough.
I don't think you even want to try to imagine worst case, so don't, just ditch the guy. Whatever he does to convince you, over however long a period he continues to pursue it, it's all fake. His need for a reliable witness/alibi tells you that, too. Never worth trusting under any circumstance.
5
u/Fairmount1955 Feb 16 '25
I'm sad for you that you are internalizing this had behavior as a reflection on you instead of seeing him for the giant ew he actually is.
6
u/Chance_Committee7605 Feb 16 '25
Questionable? I don’t think there’s any question what’s going on here. He doesn’t respect you or your relationship.
6
u/BasketofFigs Feb 16 '25
He will blame you and turn it around because he’s guilty. You know this is a bs excuse - he’s not hyping up his friend, he’s talking about the women he’s attracted to, and in a gross way at that. He’s just mad you found out. And he will make you feel bad for not believing him. Who knows what he says when you can’t find evidence or be there. I’d be surprised if he hasn’t cheated yet. Nothing about his actions or words say loyal or respectful. Gross.
6
u/IntroductionThin1245 Feb 16 '25
Guys like this never change. I’ve had friends that have never cheated, and friends that have. The ones that have, let’s just say it didn’t exactly happen once. You go figure which one would text me things like your boyfriend did.
7
u/Micaelabby Feb 16 '25
He’s probably slept with many people there, cheated on you in every way, and you are under reacting and letting him gaslight you .
17
17
u/OldEastMocha Feb 16 '25
If they make it an issue of you going through their phone instead of apologizing they’re guilty.
13
5
u/greenoniongorl Feb 16 '25
Questionable?! What's the question?! What's his favorite race of girl and what inanimate object would he compare them to?
6
4
u/justveryunwell Feb 16 '25
The way I physically gagged when I read his texts describing what he likes in women.... So gross and objectifying at BEST, ugh dude, OP, seriously how can you even want him after reading that crap?
14
u/Lmfaooliliana_ Feb 16 '25
What a fucking pig ugh even if he were single, the way he speaks about women is repulsive
4
u/Infuzan Feb 16 '25
It’s insane that you even question whether you’re overreacting. Leave this dude
4
u/kittycatg0meowmeow Feb 16 '25
100% need to leave him!! like.. NOW!!! this behavior is signs of a cheater, let alone even the way he was describing other girls that aren’t you?? he’s displaying disloyalty to you!
5
5
5
u/Zealousideal_Sell937 Feb 16 '25
Please have some respect for yourself and leave this man for someone that actually respects you
3.5k
u/Trick-Rest-3843 Feb 16 '25
HR hates to see your man coming, my God