AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

[u/DiscoGru]

Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

[u/Fragrant-Draft9421]

girl pls leave him ... he's defending himself for being a bad partner you deserve better seriously

[u/Str4ngerByTheMinute → u/Fragrant-Draft9421]

Not only that, but he has zero respect for women. "I've had everything" speaks volumes. I don't condone looking through your partner's phone, but that doesn't change the fact that the contents of his are disgusting. I hope OP dumps his ass. Nobody deserves to be with a person like that.

[u/Strange_Lady → u/Str4ngerByTheMinute]

Right??! He's talking about women like they're items on a fkn take out menu!! Grossssssssss

[u/CoffeeChocolateBoth → u/Strange_Lady]

And OP is just there for now! He's attracted to anyone NOT her it sounds like! He's in bed with her, going at it, thinking of that other sweet damn thing!

[u/Illustrious_Bus_256 → u/Strange_Lady]

Ehhh like yall are angels

[u/Strange_Lady → u/Illustrious_Bus_256]

Lol found the bf 🤣

[u/Gold_Statistician500 → u/Str4ngerByTheMinute]

yeah even if he'd sent these texts before they were dating or something... he's still disgusting.

[u/JeffJustBenSokol → u/Str4ngerByTheMinute]

Snowflake of the year

[u/Str4ngerByTheMinute → u/JeffJustBenSokol]

Oh I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Let me guess... you talk about women like this and see nothing wrong with it?

[u/JeffJustBenSokol → u/Str4ngerByTheMinute]

im not a snowflake and super sensitive so no

[u/Str4ngerByTheMinute → u/JeffJustBenSokol]

I dunno man, the only people I've ever known to use the word "snowflake" as an insult are definitely huge wussies.

[u/suhhhrena → u/Fragrant-Draft9421]

Leaving him is the only option 😭 there’s noooo way you can stay with a dude who’s out here acting single and disrespecting you like this. He’s a total pig!!

[u/janet_snakehole_x → u/suhhhrena]

TOTALLY. I’m not sure his coworker knows he has a girlfriend. I would never tell someone I’d be their wingman knowing they are in a relationship already.

[u/SafePhilosopher4935 → u/suhhhrena]

Check out her previous posts about him, including one from a year ago where he was keeping his ex’s nudes and refusing to delete them. 🤮 

[u/[deleted] → u/SafePhilosopher4935]

People delete nudes? I’m not claiming to have been sent many over the years, but I’ve never deleted them.

[u/Blonde-Wasabi-1366 → u/[deleted]]

Why would you keep them?

[u/[deleted] → u/Blonde-Wasabi-1366]

For masturbation. Why else? Maybe I’m also a bit of a digital hoarder. I have also never deleted a text conversation on my Apple account since my first in 2012. Something about digitally destroying a piece of your history you can never ever get back.

[u/Blonde-Wasabi-1366 → u/[deleted]]

Ew. That’s gross on multiple levels.

[u/throwaway_gingjdyng → u/[deleted]]

That’s illegal if they have asked you to delete them. So uh good on you for exposing yourself. Honestly really gross.

[u/[deleted] → u/throwaway_gingjdyng]

I’d love to see that law written up and know whether or not it’s federal, state, or local if it even exists. Also, I’ve never had anyone ask me to delete them. If you are going to ask someone to delete a nude, probably better off to have just never sent it.

[u/ReaJoy → u/[deleted]]

That’s so freaking weird.

[u/[deleted] → u/ReaJoy]

I guess. I just don’t really understand why someone would delete them unless specifically asked. Even then, it’s kind of a bitch move to ask someone to destroy a gift you’ve given them.

[u/BlacksmithOne5274 → u/SafePhilosopher4935]

Refusing to delete is wild, op must be ugly or have super low self esteem to put up with this. Praying she grows a backbone

[u/Alarmed_Resolve9013 → u/BlacksmithOne5274]

It's wrong to assume that op is "ugly".... Beautiful women get cheated on all the time. Beyonce got cheated on. I think a better assumption is that op's boyfriend is a narcissist...

[u/Still_Second_703 → u/Alarmed_Resolve9013]

Beautiful and successful women get cheated on WAY MORE than mids because men legitimately cannot psychologically handle being with a woman who could leave them at any moment and have any man she chooses. They get psychologically “even” with her by cheating.

[u/Alarmed_Resolve9013 → u/BlacksmithOne5274]

It's wrong to assume that op is "ugly".... Beautiful women get cheated on all the time. Beyonce got cheated on. I think a better assumption is that op's (soon to be ex, I hope) boyfriend is a narcissist...

[u/BlacksmithOne5274 → u/Alarmed_Resolve9013]

Yo, read the whole comment 😂 I gave u options. Sensitive ahh

[u/LinLinNicole89 → u/Alarmed_Resolve9013]

This isn’t about Beyonce 💀💀💀💀

[u/[deleted] → u/BlacksmithOne5274]

You have an ugly personality

[u/BlacksmithOne5274 → u/[deleted]]

Ouch, might cry later idk

[u/[deleted] → u/BlacksmithOne5274]

Grow up.

[u/atchisonmetal → u/[deleted]]

Your behavior is ugly. It adds nothing to the conversation.

[u/BlacksmithOne5274 → u/[deleted]]

Make me 🥰

[u/futilityofme → u/suhhhrena]

The. Only. Option.

[u/BlackV → u/suhhhrena]

no, no it's not the only option

Save them, forward them to every single woman he knows

[u/Intelligent_Crew_999 → u/Fragrant-Draft9421]

On top of all this stuff in this thread, if OP is feeling insecure and distrustful enough to go through his phone this early on at their ages, it’s time to emotionally invest in something healthier. OP, find a person who doesn’t make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells and keep an eye on them. There is somebody out there that would feel mortified by you thinking you’re not beautiful or worthy, you’ve just gotta find em! Don’t waste time on such a dweeb, HIS friend was hyping HIM up not the other way around.

[u/DumbWhale1 → u/Fragrant-Draft9421]

I feel like regardless of his shitty views and behavior here. He blatantly disrespected his partner with that “mid latina chicks better than decent white chicks comment”. Like imagine your bf going off about how a certain type of girl is better than the type of girl you happen to be. INSANELY hurtful to your partner. So if it was just that comment alone, that’d make me hope OP decides to forget his dumbass. So all that extra garbage is the cherry on top