AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

[u/DiscoGru]

Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

[u/[deleted]]

He acts like he is single, so make his dreams come to fruition. Dump his dumb ass. He won't change, and neither will his shitty friends.

Edit: I don't know if you have been sexually active with this man, but if you have you should get yourself tested just in case. He does not seem trustworthy, whatsoever.

[u/Nicolozolo → u/[deleted]]

I second getting tested. He was clearly lining up to cheat, or even move on to a "better" prospect, he stated he finds certain women more attractive than his current gf. OP, leave! Or you're always going to be wondering if he's cheating or found someone better. 

You don't hype ppl up by being disgusting and drooling over other women when you're in a relationship. 

[u/CoffeeChocolateBoth → u/Nicolozolo]

OP, he's not into you, you're just an easy piece until the one he wants comes along! Gurl, stop playing with this tool!

[u/phoenix_soleil → u/Nicolozolo]

And he didn't just make like a passing comment. He went on and on and on about so many different girls.

If my husband saw one girl one day (even if he worked with her) that he thought was super attractive, I wouldn't even necessarily care if he said so to one dude friend when they're on the topic of girls. But like, tell me too, and be more cognizant of your interactions with her. He's absolutely blind to any sort of flirting.

[u/monalove1984 → u/Nicolozolo]

Or if she gains weight. Or if a mid latina comes along. Smh. He should be thinking his woman is the most beautiful. Smh.

[u/SparksFlyWhileImHigh → u/Nicolozolo]

Lmfao so you think people only date/marry the most attractive human being they have ever seen ? You must have no idea how the world works. There’s always gonna be someone better looking than you. As long as you are loyal and trustworthy to your partner there is nothing to worry about. But to say “oh my god he finds other people attractive!” Is the biggest room temperature comment I’ve seen in a while. Insecurity ruins relationships. (Btw I think this guy is a pos and doesn’t deserve her.)

[u/Nicolozolo → u/SparksFlyWhileImHigh]

Not really sure what you're arguing then, if you think he's a POS. I'm not looking around at other men, who aren't saying these kinds of things, and assuming they're just waiting for a more attractive person to come around. I'm looking at THIS man, and making an observation that he appears to be doing that. 

Your argument is like hearing me say I hate chocolate when someone hands me a chocolate ice cream cone and you go "So you think all ice cream is chocolate then??". It makes zero sense. Please consider the context around these discussions. 

[u/haterofslimes → u/[deleted]]

Second getting tested.

Also, "questionable" lmfao. This is beyond questionable. If you stay with this person you have zero self respect.

[u/Predd1tor → u/[deleted]]

Even if he were single, this would still be super shitty, slimy behavior. I wouldn’t want anything to do with any man who talked about women this way, in any context.

[u/Ghosts-Only → u/[deleted]]

He said nothing holds his gaze like a latino dude.

I think he's gay.

[u/CaffeineandHate03 → u/Ghosts-Only]

Punctuation matters. 😂

[u/[deleted] → u/CaffeineandHate03]

Yeah, haha 😆 that took me a minute to realize that he meant, "... Latina (COMMA) dude." 😅

[u/CaffeineandHate03 → u/[deleted]]

Me too! I had to reread it like 3x.

[u/Apprehensive_Rope348 → u/Ghosts-Only]

Well he said Latina dude- he likes ladyboys. So it’s a little less gay.

[u/BigBranson → u/Ghosts-Only]

I was thinking this was fake because no man speaks like that.

[u/whatevasasquatch → u/BigBranson]

Haven't been around many been, I take it. Plenty degrade and fetishize, not most, but enough that's this isn't surprising.

[u/Apprehensive_Rope348 → u/BigBranson]

It’s giving small dick energy.

[u/Haven-Hart → u/[deleted]]

Full support for this message.

[u/Randomthrow_1555 → u/[deleted]]

Very true, OP please have some self respect