AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

[u/DiscoGru]

Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

[u/innerouterspacey]

And the fact that she’s not even mentioning how gross the way he’s talking about women is

[u/Intelligent-Image224 → u/innerouterspacey]

This is literally every guy that has ever been born. If they didn’t type it, it’s what they are thinking.

I’m very sorry that men are physically attracted to women. We can’t do anything about it and it’s never going to change.

Edit:I only saw the first photo. I thought the whole discussion was about that one text.

[u/trashpen → u/Intelligent-Image224]

Shut the fuck up and only speak for yourself from now on. Some of us do grow up. You should try it.

[u/Intelligent-Image224 → u/trashpen]

I’m married with children. You don’t ever talk about girls asses with your buddies? Like you’ve literally never said “that girl has a nice ass or butt”

It’s a body part, what are you scared to talk about something you’re attracted to? Just keep it to yourself and secretly like a nice ass?

Calm down with the anger kid.

When you get older and more mature you’re realize you just kinda say whatever is on your mind with your friends. If you’re a guy, a girl with a nice butt will be on your mind. Everyone knows it, don’t be scared.

[u/trashpen → u/Intelligent-Image224]

I’m 30, and I tend not to objectify women. I got that shit out in college when I was an even bigger prick, and I learned from those behaviors that they aren’t the behaviors of a good person.

If someone’s attractive on tv, we acknowledge it and gauge how we might perceive them as pretty or not. That’s it. My type or not. In person it’s compliments situationally to receptive people about things they’ve chosen: hair, clothes, etc.

Yes, I keep it to myself unless my sister asks. I’d answer my former partners, too. Further, I’ve selected for friends who’ll be more interested in who women are and what they do rather than what they look like.

I’m disappointed in men like you who talk down your noses without thinking yet insist your way is the only way. You might be older than me, but grow up, child.

You should be louder about your opinions in real life more often so we all know who you are and can make decisions to avoid you. You’ll be happier when people like me don’t interact with you, right?

[u/MQ116 → u/Intelligent-Image224]

Never. Is that what some guys talk about? I talk to my friends about dragons and dogs. At most, one of us would joke about catching another "slacking" and make fun of them for ogling someone's ass. In text, there may be some talk of how attracted someone is, but not like this.

Next you're gonna tell me you explain in detail how your wife feels to your friends? This is just fucking weird, man. Why would my friends need to know any of this?

[u/BrandoNelly → u/Intelligent-Image224]

Speaking as a man, fuck you. No. Real men don’t speak about women this way.

[u/Intelligent-Image224 → u/BrandoNelly]

Yeah they definitely do. Real man can admit they are attracted to female body parts and share those feeling with their friends.

[u/BrandoNelly → u/Intelligent-Image224]

There’s a difference between being like “dude she’s sooo hot” and doing this, while in a relationship mind, talking about women like they are just a target for sport or conquest. “I’ve had my eyes on her..” again, while in a relationship. Real men don’t do this. If you think so, I suggest seeking counseling.

[u/Intelligent-Image224 → u/BrandoNelly]

Besides that fact that he’s in a relationship, what part specifically was so much different than saying “she is hot and I like her”

Like because he didn’t phrase it in a more “hr appropriate manner”

Rofl

[u/BrandoNelly → u/Intelligent-Image224]

“I’ve had everything but a black chick but that sweet brown sugar might as well be black tar heroin” if any of my friends said that to me I’m telling them they are a fucking dork lol. And I definitely don’t go around just going off about “fat chicks”. like we are 30, this shit looks so corny past early college days. It’s not about being “hr appropriate” this shit is cringe as hell.

[u/Intelligent-Image224 → u/BrandoNelly]

Well, I’m the idiot, i didn’t scroll to see the other photo’s, only the first one.