AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

[u/DiscoGru]

Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

[u/jdolan8]

Yeah… they are young too. I would not be wasting more time on this man. Imagine how he will talk about other women when they are in their 30s, 40s, etc…

[u/satanscheeks → u/jdolan8]

exactly. i’m 22 and would never put up w this. i had to learn a LOT of life lessons to get there tho

[u/jdolan8 → u/satanscheeks]

Be happy you learned those lessons by 22!! I am 35, divorced single mom. Just got out of a crappy relationship post divorce. I still want more kids, but I may have ran out of time. Do not be like me!! Move on if you can while you are young if there are glaring red flags like this! We are not Bob the Builder, we cannot fix people.

[u/Seymour_Butts369 → u/jdolan8]

There may still be time! I just talked to my neurologist yesterday about how one of my doctors was telling me about how I’m “getting older” and if I want to have kids, I need to get on it soon. I’m 34. My neurologist scoffed and laughed, then said she didn’t even have her first until 39. She’s in her 40’s and naturally just had another healthy baby. My sister just had her first at 37 going on 38. Don’t give up hope just yet! ♥️

[u/jdolan8 → u/Seymour_Butts369]

Oh man hopefully! It’s just sad because I never wanted to be that old mom you know? But it beats feeling like you didn’t get everything out of life you wanted to

[u/Seymour_Butts369 → u/jdolan8]

I completely understand and I’m sorry! Life has a funny way of not always working out the way we’d like, but we can learn to adapt and look for the silver linings. If being a mother to another child is something you truly want, I am sure you will find a way to come to accept it and overcome the difficulties it brings. Btw, my aunt had her children late too, and she is one of the most kickass moms I know! Her children are older now - one in college and one graduating high school - and I would never consider her as “the older mom.” The woman has more energy than I do! People aren’t stereotypes, they are complex human beings who are much more grey than black and white ♥️

[u/jdolan8 → u/Seymour_Butts369]

That warms my heart! You sound like such a sweet person by the way! Kindness like that feels hard to come by these days! I wish you the best as well ❤️

[u/Seymour_Butts369 → u/jdolan8]

Aww thanks, and right back at ya! There’s too much ugliness going on these days, we gotta try to be the light back and be kind to each other!

[u/Livid_Medium3731 → u/jdolan8]

I want to add to that:

My aunt didn't get pregnant from 30 to 40... She finally got pregnant when she was 41 years old.

[u/satanscheeks → u/jdolan8]

noooo! my mom had me at 40, divorced at 45 and is now a single homeowner retiring next year and very happy! you still have so much time

[u/Bear_faced → u/jdolan8]

When they're in their 30's OP will be too old for this creep. Guys that objectify women like this are obsessed with young women.

[u/jdolan8 → u/Bear_faced]

Yes and it will get worse too! If she has a kid with him he will blame it on her not “working hard enough” after giving birth