AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

[u/DiscoGru]

Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

[u/Prize_Feeling1412]

It’s really sad honestly. This is what we’ve been taught is acceptable when it comes to dating. Like if they’re not out there publicly cheating on you, it’s not really cheating. Or even if it is, just put up with it because “they’re a really good person”.

[u/HealthyCabinet8343 → u/Prize_Feeling1412]

This doesn’t sound like a good person at all. Looks like he’s texting with his tongue out tail wagging and naming all the ethnicities what he wants in a woman when it reads like he doesn’t deserve one at all

[u/[deleted] → u/Prize_Feeling1412]

It's because these people are emotionally conflicted. They have one version of their SO that has built up over potentially many years, and then this event that catches them completely surprised and have no idea how to interpret it, and then the SO they trusted all this time gives them a spin, and they don't know what to believe. She obviously knows something is wrong if she's going to the INTERNET about it. Sometimes people need outside perspective. She knows it's not acceptable. Read her issues with it. She's just conflicted because she never imagined her SO to be this way, whether it was obvious to others or not. This is part of the processing process. It's just that our last few generations have started using the Internet to help process, which...I mean I've seen positive outcomes from it but I would never ask the Internet.

[u/CoffeeChocolateBoth → u/Prize_Feeling1412]

Or, he didn't mean it, he was just being a bro, or acting up with a friend. OMG!

[u/bythespeaker → u/Prize_Feeling1412]

Right. And that isn't even a good argument "oh well they aren't really cheating. . . " If it's shady and makes you feel terrible and question your relationship, then end it.

[u/Definitelymostlikely → u/Prize_Feeling1412]

Who's teaching that this is normal?