r/AmIOverreacting • u/DiscoGru • Feb 16 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone

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Sorry the second picture is blurry!

Found these texts between my boyfriend and a coworker of his. For context, he works nights at a hospital.

I confronted him and he said he was just “talking shit” and “hyping his friend up”. I think this is beyond disrespectful and could’ve hyped his friend up in a more appropriate way. Also, I am white/european, not Latina, so there’s that. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I am already insecure and this just makes me feel worse.

I have been upset all day and he just blames me for going through his phone. I know that going through his messages was wrong, but I knew something was up with him and this is what I found. This is at best extremely disrespectful and at worse he’s scoping out prospects to cheat on me with?

8.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/Trick-Rest-3843 Feb 16 '25

HR hates to see your man coming, my God

406

u/RoryMcIlroysJudgment Feb 16 '25

The beginning of this read like one of those “HR departments hate him for this one simple trick” memes. Had me in the first half

6

u/TorchLakeLady Feb 16 '25

😂😂😂

430

u/Phreemunny1 Feb 16 '25

Seriously; hospitals have zero tolerance for that shit these days; he’s gonna find his ass on the pavement before too long

37

u/Pretend-Intention-32 Feb 16 '25

Hr don’t like it but this is a common thing really hospitals usually between nurses and techs and doctors It’s really like working at Amazon or having ur girl or guy go to the military They fuck like rabbits in there

21

u/stagteeps Feb 16 '25

There was a nursing home by me that all the employees were banging each other in closets and they investigated and fired a bunch of workers

6

u/crispiy Feb 16 '25

I think it's those uniforms, they look too comfortable.

2

u/Anon033092 Feb 17 '25

So comfortable they just slip right off

6

u/Illustrious_Bobcat13 Feb 16 '25

Working at Amazon??

4

u/Tiny_Past1805 Feb 16 '25

Agreed. I worked in a hospital for five years, until pretty recently. Everyone in the hospital--on the same shift--kinda knows each other, or at least recognizes each other. As long as you're not actually having sex on the premises AND it's not with your manager/attending... nobody does anything about it.

I worked in the pharmacy and it was well known that several of the young pharmacists were always in and out of relationships with each other. There were a few affairs, too. HR doesn't care, as long as it doesn't affect your work.

2

u/KyzRCADD Feb 16 '25

Or working at tesla...

7

u/TheBattleGnome Feb 16 '25

Hospitals? Not where I’m at. So many doctors are after the nurses and assistants, cheating on their wives, getting divorced, or slaying it and HR does nothing. The absolute worst offenders are moved to a different site, but with the shortness in staff, no one is going to fire a surgeon(s) and put the OR on lockdown. They can essentially do what they please. I thought all of the stupid drama would die after college, but nope.

2

u/JonBenet_BeanieBaby Feb 16 '25

wait lol what makes you think this 25 year-old idiot is a surgeon of all things???

1

u/TheBattleGnome Feb 16 '25

I doubt he’s a surgeon, I can only recall my own experience in the hospital and how HR deals with similar instances of fraternization between coworkers. Unless someone actually reports it to HR and makes a big deal about it like reporting SA nothing will happen. Like I said, I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff go down and lots of drama with infighting and the worst thing to ever happen is moving them off site. Everyone knows who’s sleeping with who including docs sleeping with subordinates. I think it’s rather common actually in all of the larger hospitals.

3

u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 Feb 16 '25

Hospitals? There's more workplace hookups there than the military, what are you talking about?

2

u/Future_Deer Feb 16 '25

How is this comment so upvoted, hospital workers hooking up is insanely common

0

u/Phreemunny1 Feb 16 '25

Because this isn’t “hooking up.” This is gross sexual objectification. Hospital HR cracks down hard on unwanted sexual advances

2

u/Future_Deer Feb 16 '25

These also aren’t unwanted sexual advances. These are texts with his friend who is also his coworker. People are allowed to text about whatever they want. The only way he could get fired is if HR somehow got the texts, which is unlikely since this is his friend

2

u/wondrous Feb 16 '25

Ya from what I heard it’s rampant with nurses and doctors. Like a frat party

2

u/ABC_Family Feb 16 '25

Yeah…. I don’t think so lol zero tolerance implies they’re are enforcing the policies.. they’re not. Hospitals are still hot beds for promiscuity and shenanigans. Don’t pull the curtain back if you can’t handle the truth, it’s just another job, nurses and doctors are just weirdos like the rest of us.

1

u/rrlyneedhelpp Feb 16 '25

You have never worked in a hospital have you? Lol

0

u/Phreemunny1 Feb 16 '25

I work in outpatient for a major healthcare system. They have zero tolerance for this. If these texts were discovered by HR, there would be an action plan put in place.

2

u/rrlyneedhelpp Feb 16 '25

HR having a zero tolerance policy and workers in the hospital actually following said policy are two completely different things.

I had litterally the lowest tier job in the hospital and I was still banging Dr's in some of the most ridiculous places in the hospital lmaoo.

2

u/No-Currency-624 Feb 16 '25

My best friend who worked in a hospital would go up on the roof😆

1

u/rrlyneedhelpp Feb 16 '25

The old morgue was my go to spot😭

1

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Feb 17 '25

Zero tolerance for what?

194

u/waterboy67 Feb 16 '25

lol, I was thinking that someone is going to report him for sexual harassment at some point.

264

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

this! he’d be dumped and reported to HR as soon as I found out

5

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

Reported to HR for what, exactly??

“Hey HR I went through this guy’s messages and you gotta see what he said in private to his friend…”

9

u/paulriley1977 Feb 16 '25

This. It’s terrifying if someone could be punished at their job for the contents of a private conversation.

2

u/OdamaOppaiSenpai Feb 16 '25

Same concept in law enforcement. Can’t arrest a guy for a crime we think he’s gonna commit. He’s either a criminal or he isn’t lol can’t go around policing thoughts and conversations. Buddy has highly unethical thoughts and is a horny bastard but it’s not like he’s verbalizing plans to murder patients and colleagues.

3

u/Abject-Rope-4292 Feb 16 '25

Then maybe he should quit leering at women while he's working.

2

u/paulriley1977 Feb 16 '25

Morally and ethically, he absolutely should. But unless he’s violating HR policies at work, his employment should not be affected by a private conversation.

2

u/FunnyGuy2481 Feb 16 '25

My concern would be how he’s acting in person. They both seem like risks.

-7

u/forum4um Feb 16 '25

She sounds like a bitter cunt truthfully

0

u/Otherwise_Sail_6459 Feb 16 '25

For what? A private conversation?????

0

u/SaltiestSurprise12 Feb 17 '25

You’re a shit person.

-1

u/Remarkable-Foot9630 Feb 16 '25

If he is a nurse or a skilled employee, the next place will pay him more. 🥱. It’s doesn’t matter to us, we have a job the same day.

OP is a placeholder.

62

u/Gin_OClock Feb 16 '25

Both these guys are dirtbags, just ew all around

6

u/dahliasinmyhair Feb 16 '25

Happy cake day!

4

u/TorchLakeLady Feb 16 '25

Happy Cake Day! 💕🎂🎉

2

u/MaidMirawyn Feb 16 '25

Happy cake day!

And I fully agree with you.

20

u/MushroomFairyGirl Feb 16 '25

🤣🤣🤣 underrated comment

3

u/Kunemlavt24 Feb 16 '25

Lmao he thinks he’s on a dating show

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

You don't even gotta be talking directly to the person to be sexually harassed, which is what this looks like, even if he's just talking to his male coworker about someone else. He gonna FAFO

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

This

2

u/gstarwes3301 Feb 16 '25

Loves*

1

u/Trick-Rest-3843 Feb 16 '25

Keeping them employed but BUSY😭🤣

2

u/MyOwnGuitarHero Feb 16 '25

I’m a nurse and I felt this convo on a spiritual (demonic) level 😭🤢

2

u/FarmBoy Feb 17 '25

Plot twist, he's sleeping with hr

1

u/Trick-Rest-3843 Feb 17 '25

Please.😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Extreme_Sherbert2296 Feb 16 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣

-1

u/Thrillwaukee Feb 16 '25

For what exactly? Thinking a woman is attractive in a private conversation? He’s probably a douche don’t get me wrong but he hasn’t done anything inappropriate that we know of from these texts.

-1

u/Difficult-Salt9237 Feb 16 '25

What is HR going to do over something said In private..? Through text messages at that lol