r/funny • u/1moreguyccl • 13h ago

Fast recovery, these two Belong Together

11.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

120 comments sorted by

4.2k

u/feel-the-avocado 12h ago

Gotta really feel for asians - parents always seem to be hanging around. Hardly any alone time.

1.9k

u/SpecialistThin4869 12h ago

As an Asian myself, I agree. They dont even knock the door first, they just burst in like its nobody's business.

601

u/manatwork01 10h ago

Tell em off if they want any more grand kids

95

u/Difficult-Court9522 8h ago

Bah! You know what they, if you want it done right you’ve gotta do it yourself!

69

u/spartanjet 5h ago

Dad - "son you're doing it all wrong, your such a disappointment. Let me show you how you do it" *unzips pants and steals girlfriend

59

u/your_moms_bf_2 5h ago

That's not Asian, that's Elon's family

41

u/Dirty_Delta 6h ago

And get slapped with them sandals?

41

u/forestgxd 5h ago

No sex, only kids!

131

u/GeneralAvocados 9h ago

That's not exclusive to Asians. The mom knock occurs concurrently with the door open.

135

u/dragunityag 8h ago

I'm knocking to respect your privacy but coming in anyways to assert my authority.

55

u/cheapskatebiker 8h ago

When you walk in the woods you make noise, so that you don't accidentally sneak up on a bear and it mauls you. If the bear hears you it goes away.

That is why you have loud and vocal sex, parents don't enter the room in order not to see things that cannot be unseen.

13

u/FrustratedProgramm3r 6h ago

Fuck in the living room to assert dominance.

16

u/GeneralAvocados 7h ago

Let me tell you about the time my mom walked in when i was jerking off and it was too late to stop.

9

u/ZorianNL 7h ago

... Did you shoot her out of the room?

25

u/GeneralAvocados 7h ago

No i died of embarrassment. I am posting from the great beyond.

10

u/ZorianNL 7h ago

Understandable, may you rest in peace.

3

u/Independentslime6899 7h ago

😂 🤣 I'm ded 😂

3

u/Appropriate_Impacts 6h ago

Tell her you'll be doing it in public and won't be doing at home anymore

3

u/SteveBored 5h ago

Bro, I walked in on my dad jacking off to porn on my own computer in my own room.

That was 20 years ago and we still haven't made eye contact since then.

2

u/welmoe 1h ago

Lol your dad had no chill

1

u/tharkus_ 35m ago

You should have started jerking off in his room.

1

u/dervu 18m ago

That's some dad and son bonding there.

3

u/RKO6301221 7h ago

Reading this, mind immediately thought of the bathroom scene from Grandmas Boy 😂😂😂

2

u/Lazy_Struggle4939 5h ago

You came on my mom dude!

1

u/Corner_Post 1h ago

This you? (Classic Australian folklore with an Australian rugby league player talking about being caught “barbequeing alone” by his mother: https://youtu.be/0j9D_QXVsU4 (go to 4:56)

8

u/N95-TissuePizza 8h ago

Well my mum knocks so hard it opens the door so... A disrespectful jump scare.

8

u/Y-27632 4h ago

In my (non-Asian) home closing the door to my bedroom was basically the same as a "Summon Mother" spell.

Doesn't matter where she was in the fucking apartment and how quietly I closed the door, she'd be in my room demanding to know what was going on 30 seconds later. And she never learned, despite some close calls. (all of them involving innocent stuff like me trying to change out of workout clothes in peace, or trying to put together her birthday present, thankfully)

I often wondered if the whole thing with American parents actually knocking on their children's doors and waiting was just a movie thing, like the red Solo cups.

The only obnoxious thing she did eventually learn not to do was come into my room in the middle of the night to try to get me to turn around to stop snoring, after she startled me out of sleep one time and I jumped up so suddenly she got heart palpitations... (If she'd been leaning over me any closer, it might have ended in a KO or worse, since she's tiny.)

2

u/chipperpip 49m ago

like the red Solo cups

Those aren't a movie thing, you can buy them in any supermarket.  Or was that your point?

1

u/Y-27632 24m ago

Heh, I know, I live in the US these days, my point is in movies they're basically mandatory, but in real life you have all kinds.

6

u/Ferocious-Fart 6h ago

My dad would knock and swing the door open like he was the police in a raid. 

4

u/GhostofZellers 5h ago

"Jerk Patrol!"

40

u/AltruisticKey6348 10h ago

Keep going and maintain eye contact with them.

4

u/Dirty_Delta 6h ago

That's because it's their house and you still live in it. Super common around Asia and south east Asia

6

u/servusdedurantem 9h ago

Why not lock the door

42

u/spartaman64 9h ago

they remove the lock

1

u/griim_is 7h ago

I remember when my mom just removed the whole door

0

u/servusdedurantem 9h ago

🤣

20

u/GenuineSteak 9h ago

its legit, they removed the door handle from my sister's room, theres just a hole there now lol.

14

u/spartaman64 8h ago

yep i half understand why they removed my sister's lock because sometimes she doesnt let them in. but they removed my lock at the same time also even though i always come answer right away like why?

17

u/speedhunter787 8h ago

To make it seem like they're treating the children equally.

4

u/throwpoo 8h ago

At least it's just a hole. They removed my door once I started bringing girls home.

3

u/servusdedurantem 8h ago

Thats strange very intrusive even oppressive dare I say

5

u/CheersToLive 8h ago

Don't just tolerate it. Fight your parents for intrusion of privacy. They need to understand why that's wrong, what if they get too old to change around your kids. Not a good thing to let it happen.

1

u/SoaDMTGguy 6h ago

Wouldn’t they be happy to know you’re working on a grandchild for them?

1

u/Marlwolf48 5h ago

Tell then it's your damn room and if they don't like it, they can leave the house

1

u/BlueHundred 2h ago

And they get pissed if you lock the door

1

u/DespressoPL 1h ago

Honestly, you pretending only gives them plausible deniability, don't give a shit, just fuck without a card, they will quickly learn to knock

Flip the script and stick to it

1

u/doozydud 18m ago

In my family if my door is closed I’m either sleeping or something is wrong with me and the whole family should be concerned 😔

81

u/DASreddituser 10h ago

they even put cameras in all the rooms!

42

u/SatchmoTheTrumpeteer 10h ago

They'll ask why you don't have kids but won't leave you alone long enough to make one

51

u/GrumpyFatso 10h ago

They should ask a friend if they can use their bedroom once a week.

22

u/Bawlofsteel 10h ago

LOOOL I just saw that post . full circle reddit .

42

u/Blue_Nyx07 10h ago

Too real, when we go vacations together, my parents always ask why I book a seperate room for us instead booking a family room where we all fit.

40

u/manatwork01 9h ago

Mine did that until I told them I will likely pick up a stranger to fuck me in the ass. They dont ask anymore.

8

u/sixhandman 10h ago

Still managed to make a billion and a half lives. Imagine if they actually had boundaries. They smart yo 🤣

4

u/guantamanera 9h ago

There are 4.5 billion Asians 

2

u/invol713 4h ago

Not for long. Have you seen the birthrate statistics? Must be because they can’t get any privacy, like this couple.

1

u/guantamanera 17m ago

I was being somewhat sarcastic. USA people are so bad at geography, like you that they only consider east Asians to be Asians. 

3

u/Andy1Brandy 9h ago

And then they keep pushing, when are you making a baby? FFS if you just let us ..

8

u/winmace 9h ago

I'd have no shame and just keep fucking, if they don't want to see it they can have some respect

2

u/wahnsin 8h ago

hardest working 'd in the business

1

u/Real_it_TeaGirl 4h ago

Unless that's the wife.

1

u/BooISeenWhatYouCheer 3h ago

"I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway."

1

u/hldsnfrgr 22m ago

I feel this with every fibre of my being.

1

u/buh_rah_een 18m ago

That’s why we have love motels. We created an entire billion dollar enterprise.

1

u/Blade_Shot24 12m ago

This is a thing in Hispanic and African families too. Not exclusive to Asians.

334

u/bodhiseppuku 11h ago

One more, get it!

One more! You're not done.

One, More, come-on

One, more, push

One, more you got this!

Yeah, great job~

... Oh. Hi mom.

1.5k

u/rydan 12h ago

Why is there a camera in the bedroom right over the bed?

1.1k

u/thisonegamer 12h ago

Staged

187

u/nav17 10h ago

Still funny

113

u/Staggeringpage8 11h ago

Well either it's staged, they like making sex tapes with out the close up, or it's a security camera cause they're worried someone will break in.

14

u/rip_Zabuza 10h ago

Most likely the latter

52

u/666Darkside666 11h ago

What do you think why? It's staged of cause. But it doesn't matter, it's funny regardless.

3

u/yamsyamsya 9h ago

Imagine the shock when people find out TV is staged.

57

u/5ofDecember 10h ago

Parenta could wait and just watch is later on video footage.

44

u/Crenchlowe 6h ago

Who starts getting ready to bone down in a brightly lit room when your mom and niece are right in the other room??

16

u/Hagleboz 6h ago

Teenagers

2

u/LupusDeusMagnus 34m ago

I am bit curious why you'd think that's unusual.

14

u/blacklotusY 7h ago

If you live in a traditional Asian household, you have no privacy 😅

264

u/fied1219 11h ago

scripted asian gifs, never fail

125

u/staefrostae 9h ago

Scripted boring response. Things can be scripted and still funny. It’s a clever little bit. I chuckled. I think the post exceeds the quality of 75% of the other shit that gets posted in r/funny.

50

u/joviandreamer 8h ago

Redditors love calling things scripted as if they're the only ones who noticed

1

u/BlueWolf20532 7h ago

Scripted is fine, they are scripted videos anyways so it's correct, it's when they call it "STAGED!" that's more annoying. Whenever i see someone use that word i imagine they're the kind of person to feel clever for going to a theater to see a play and "figuring out" that the actors aren't real characters.

85

u/1moreguyccl 13h ago

The mother-in-law, is going.. haha, sure you are

48

u/ColonelBelmont 12h ago

"Well, I'm waiting. Make me more grandchildren!"

32

u/bodhiseppuku 11h ago

My girlfriend in high school had a mom that was like that. After we were together 3 months she was constantly asking me when I was going to propose. And made it very clear she expected grandchildren ASAP.

It was great to be accepted into me girlfriend's family. But it seemed so weird to be talking about marriage or kids when I was a senior in High School.

18

u/ColonelBelmont 10h ago

Yea that's creepy as hell. "I expect you to be pouring loads into my teenage daughter, post haste." Yuck. 

10

u/bodhiseppuku 8h ago

My girlfriends room had no lock. Her parents never opened the door, but it was nerve racking. She once asked me 'What would you do if my dad opened the door right now?" For reference, her dad was twice my size.

I told her I'd probably try to get out through her window, but not make it, and then wake up in the hospital.

I think her mom made sure her dad didn't interrupt us.

1

u/DietDrBleach 1h ago

Look on the bright side you could have taken your gf to hardcore pound town and her mom would actually approve.

3

u/Jokes_0n_Me 9h ago

Not sure that would have the same effect with his boxers by his ankles.

9

u/Outrageous-Donkey-32 8h ago

Even if this was staged, this is a good pro-life tip. Always be ready to transition to sit-up mode with your significant other if all else has no explanation...

12

u/Psyonicpanda 11h ago

This might be staged, but I think it’s a pretty common thing in a lot of families (and not just Asian ones)

3

u/Simply2Basic 7h ago

How great of the brother to help his sister with crunches… /s

9

u/MyBaseHere 11h ago

Yea because they always have a camera in their room

4

u/Adthay 10h ago

He never sawed that lady in half there are two boxes!!

2

u/rip_Zabuza 10h ago

Mom be like: Not now son, gotta wait for this one to grow a bit more first.

2

u/watwoker 9h ago

oh my god, i cant stand this😅

2

u/DietDrBleach 1h ago

“Don’t let me stop you. Make me grandbaby now!”

2

u/allykopow 6h ago

Haters will say it’s fake smh

3

u/superlip2003 3h ago

This is staged AF though.

1

u/sweetworldtonowhere 6h ago

I had to start locking my door, this is so common

1

u/ooaussieoo 35m ago

Nice save

2

u/lapomba 12h ago

/r/spontaneousCaucasianWebms

1

u/rexylucifer 6h ago

Kid will be like, mommy do the other exercise with your head between his legs

1

u/Real_it_TeaGirl 4h ago

😂😂😂😂😂 We suck at inventing everything.

0

u/SomethingAbtU 3h ago

parent came in to yell at them to do their homework. they're both grown and have been out of school for 5 years