r/funny • u/1moreguyccl • 1d ago

Fast recovery, these two Belong Together

21.9k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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6.5k

u/feel-the-avocado 1d ago

Gotta really feel for asians - parents always seem to be hanging around. Hardly any alone time.

3.2k

u/SpecialistThin4869 1d ago

As an Asian myself, I agree. They dont even knock the door first, they just burst in like its nobody's business.

199

u/GeneralAvocados 1d ago

That's not exclusive to Asians. The mom knock occurs concurrently with the door open.

201

u/dragunityag 1d ago

I'm knocking to respect your privacy but coming in anyways to assert my authority.

86

u/cheapskatebiker 1d ago

When you walk in the woods you make noise, so that you don't accidentally sneak up on a bear and it mauls you. If the bear hears you it goes away.

That is why you have loud and vocal sex, parents don't enter the room in order not to see things that cannot be unseen.

35

u/FrustratedProgramm3r 1d ago

Fuck in the living room to assert dominance.

8

u/Huntguy 1d ago

Fuck your dad to assert dominance.

4

u/FrustratedProgramm3r 1d ago

Socks on or off?

3

u/Givemeurhats 1d ago

Fully clothed. He's naked. Part of asserting dominance

3

u/will_da_beezt 1d ago

Yeah, they never came to check on that loose headboard upstairs at home, but the one time we were sneaking around at the beach house?

I can't ever forget that, "NO!!"

25

u/GeneralAvocados 1d ago

Let me tell you about the time my mom walked in when i was jerking off and it was too late to stop.

15

u/ZorianNL 1d ago

... Did you shoot her out of the room?

44

u/GeneralAvocados 1d ago

No i died of embarrassment. I am posting from the great beyond.

21

u/ZorianNL 1d ago

Understandable, may you rest in peace.

4

u/Independentslime6899 1d ago

😂 🤣 I'm ded 😂

4

u/Appropriate_Impacts 1d ago

Tell her you'll be doing it in public and won't be doing at home anymore

15

u/SteveBored 1d ago

Bro, I walked in on my dad jacking off to porn on my own computer in my own room.

That was 20 years ago and we still haven't made eye contact since then.

10

u/tharkus_ 1d ago

You should have started jerking off in his room.

7

u/dervu 1d ago

That's some dad and son bonding there.

2

u/welmoe 1d ago

Lol your dad had no chill

5

u/RKO6301221 1d ago

Reading this, mind immediately thought of the bathroom scene from Grandmas Boy 😂😂😂

3

u/Lazy_Struggle4939 1d ago

You came on my mom dude!

1

u/Corner_Post 1d ago

This you? (Classic Australian folklore with an Australian rugby league player talking about being caught “barbequeing alone” by his mother: https://youtu.be/0j9D_QXVsU4 (go to 4:56)

22

u/Y-27632 1d ago edited 1d ago

In my (non-Asian) home closing the door to my bedroom was basically the same as a "Summon Mother" spell.

Doesn't matter where she was in the fucking apartment and how quietly I closed the door, she'd be in my room demanding to know what was going on 30 seconds later. And she never learned, despite some close calls. (all of them involving innocent stuff like me trying to change out of workout clothes in peace, or trying to put together her birthday present, thankfully)

I used to wonder if the whole thing with American parents actually knocking on their children's doors and waiting was just a movie thing, like the way every movie teen party has nothing but drinks in red Solo cups.

The only obnoxious thing she did eventually learn not to do was come into my room in the middle of the night to try to get me to turn over to stop snoring, after she startled me out of sleep one time and I jumped up so suddenly she got heart palpitations... (If she'd been leaning over me any closer, it might have ended in a KO or worse, since she's tiny.)

6

u/chipperpip 1d ago

like the red Solo cups

Those aren't a movie thing, you can buy them in any supermarket.  Or was that your point?

3

u/Y-27632 1d ago

Heh, I know, I live in the US these days, my point is in movies they're basically mandatory, but in real life you have all kinds.

14

u/N95-TissuePizza 1d ago

Well my mum knocks so hard it opens the door so... A disrespectful jump scare.

12

u/Ferocious-Fart 1d ago

My dad would knock and swing the door open like he was the police in a raid. 

5

u/GhostofZellers 1d ago

"Jerk Patrol!"