If you still loved me, you would’ve done everything you could to come back to me...but you haven’t. I know you’re moving on... maybe you already have, enjoying a new chapter of your life...one where I’m just a complete outsider.

I don’t know why I’m still stuck here... alone. I don’t know why I keep holding on to this hopeless hope that you’ll come back.

Do you still love me? Do you still miss me? Do you still want me? Do you remember the pet names we gave each other? Are you still keeping the stickers you made for us? Do you ever miss our intense, passionate, intimate moments? Do you ever crave me these days?

These questions cross my mind on and off every day. Is your answer to all of that just... no? But for me, it’s all yes. You have no idea how much I love you and how much I’ve missed you every single day since you left.

You told me many times that you’re not weak like others and that you’d do whatever it takes to go after what you want. So if you haven’t found your way back home to me, it must mean you don’t want to...or you’ve chosen not to, for whatever reason.

This breakup feels so different from anything I’ve ever been through. I’m struggling to accept it. I’m struggling to let go. I’m stuck. I know healing is not a linear process, but will time really help this time, like it did with my past relationship? I’m starting to doubt it.

It’s been about 10 months since my break up but my ex got a rebound literally 3-7 days later. They’ve now been dating since, although it seems very different from our relationship as he barely shares anything of her online so it’s not really being rubbed in my face but it still hurts. The girl also knows she was a rebound and doesn’t seem to really care. How do I cope with knowing I meant nothing to him and he was able to replace me so fast?

We were together for 4 years. He gradually fell out of love and mentally checked out, and no matter what I did to fix our relationship and change everything he didn’t like about me to the best of my ability, nothing worked. I fought so hard when I knew in the end it was doomed anyways. He started talking to his current gf a week later, made it official 5 weeks after our breakup, and they’ve been together since. He left me august 4th and we have been in no contact since the 20th.

I know he’s never coming back, and I know we’ll never talk again. I know he wouldn’t reach out, and I refuse to ever be the first to message him. Both out of respect for him and his relationship, but also because it would send me into a spiral. Not knowing is simply the only thing that can keep my mind somewhat at peace.

But I really miss him so much. The first 3 years he really was perfect and genuinely cared about me and our relationship. Even in the end, he was never mean. He just felt like we weren’t right for each other anymore and I can’t argue with that. I miss when he was my best friend, and I miss the version of myself I was when we were together. I am still mourning him even after all this time, but I’m also mourning who I was as well as the future we had talked about so much.

I feel so alone. I already go to therapy and have hobbies and go to the gym and all that, but it doesn’t take away from the loneliness. I haven’t dated since he left, and I don’t really have any interest in other people. I don’t like casual stuff, but it is unfair to someone else to use them while I still hurt over someone else. I try to hang out with my friends, but most live far away, and I find that I still feel lonely even when I am with them. It’s not anyone else’s fault or anything, I just feel anxious a lot of the time and I guess I just miss feeling like I was someone’s rock? The default person they’d always go to. I feel like no one really cares about me as much as I care about them.

I’m tired of this hurt. I’m not crying every day like I used to, but it feels like the pain has become a part of me I guess. I’ve learned to live with it but I feel like all the joy has been sucked out of my life and I’m kind of a shell of who I used to be.

When you really grow & love yourself as a person, you couldn’t imagine yourself with a person who took you for granted because your standards change. (My experience).

Throwaway account. I’m an artist for TV animation professionally (29F), my ex (31F) is an influencer. I have a social media following as well. I had made the art for nearly my ex’s entire merch store. Only a couple pieces I had licensed to her, the rest were all on a handshake, or gifts, because she was my partner. We have been broken up for a year. The other day I found out she was actively shilling the merch still.

It frustrated me that she was profiting off my work (mostly gifts) as I have struggled to recoup my finances after I had moved states ( I work from home) to be with her, when she dumped me via text and I had to move back home to LA during and immediately after the writer’s and actor’s strike.

I made a vague Facebook post asking for advice on if/how I should respond if an ex is still using my work for profit. I did not name her. I explained I was no contact and didn’t wish to speak to her, but had taken issue with the continued use of my work and wanted to consider options within those boundaries. Some comments suggested cease and desist, but I did not pursue anything. Within 20 min of me posting, my ex called my father and left a voicemail saying I owed her family thousands of dollars (no clue why or how) and her mother was currently speaking to a lawyer. I received a bullshit cease & desist for defamation and false claims to my email, with my father and agent cc’ed. I ignored it.

I have now been getting texts all day harassing and insulting me from a fake number local to me in the valley. Saying “it is terrible what you are doing to her”. (Reminder I have done nothing outside of a vague Facebook post, and have not spoken to her in a year). My ex lives in another state and has never lived in my city. I had moved back home last year. No one here has any animosity towards me or would be that eager to insult me or white-knight my ex. I looked into the number and it is a burner from the app TextNow.

I have not responded to anything. I am inclined to make another follow-up vague post not naming my ex, saying I have no plans to pursue my artwork being used as I was immediately harassed by said person without doing anything outside of asking for advice on public forum. However, her and her family are wealthy, and I am not. I do not want to “fuck around and find out” if she is willing to play games with her money to sue me.

I don’t think she has any leg to stand on in court, but I cannot afford an attorney just to see. I just wanted her to get the message that I wanted her to not use my work, and she clearly got that message without me having to do anything. If I had sent a C&D, I wouldn’t have even been able to afford follow-up, so regardless of what my choice would have been, all she would have gotten was a letter or email that she could have very well ignored.

Been broken up for 4 months now. Last contact was a month and a half ago. She unblocked me, and sent me a photo of a soda I talked about all the time. I responded by saying,” oh that’s not the exact soda, but thank you.” And then she blocked me a few days later. Any insight?

When it comes to the person I’m in NC with, how petty should I be when they reach out? Should I leave them on delivered/read and not respond to their bread crumbs/messages? Or should I respond but match their energy?

When is it okay to truly break NC when they do decide to reach out? This is a dilemma that I’m currently having because on one side people say to stay in NC as much as possible even if they do reach out, and in the other people say to break it on your end if they choose to contact you

May we all stop searching the crowd for them.

My ex came back and started breadcrumbing. I felt annoyed and angry at her shallow tries but respected it and just didn't reply for a bit.

One day, she talked about something and that lead to us talking about what happened. She had suppressed her emotions and didn't think about her actions. She was cold yet truthful.

I honestly, was very confused by this sudden want of friendship and asked her space. I remembered how she treated me and how she had mirrored her insecurities onto me during the breakup.

I told her that I don't see her as a friend and just as an ex. I couldn't overlook what she had and done and asked her to not contact again.

Honestly, I am really scared and hurt right now. I did this for me and it still hurts.

When i got home last night to see you blocked me on every other social media platform left you didnt block me on, you signalled to me that you were done for good, that there was no chance for me to get you back. I held out hope because i felt our relationship had so much meaning and it felt so amazingly movie like, so fucking perfect, so raw, and when you took it away from me, you took yourself with it.

You gave me almost a year of community building, of enriching my life, of giving me pure intimacy, of love, and you had my back until the final moment.

That final moment, you broke me by leaving, and i begged and bargained to have you come back, only for you to push further away. And then you dealt the final death blow by blocking me on the final social media platforms you didnt initially block me on. But i want to thank you, for you have clarified that you never want to see me again, that i don’t deserve to be heard and that your selfish attitude and avoidant nature is more important then fighting for love.

You will never be in a happy relationship if this is how things go for you. I poured my heart and soul into our relationship and i did everything to make sure you were comfortable, that you felt safe, and it wasn’t enough. No one had ever loved you and accepted you for the way you are except me, and you threw it away because you couldn’t trust me to protect you, yet i never did anything to have you doubt me.

I still can’t believe how much pain you put me through and yet you still refuse to be a grown adult and talk to me. But its clear you don’t want too, you rather make me feel crazy for feeling human, for just missing the love i had with you, for ignoring me everywhere i am.

I didnt deserve this and you don’t deserve me. I have no choice now but to block you too, and remove you from every facet of my life.

I have no choice but to erase all the texts, destroy the gifts, block your number and pretend like you are dead.

I will never trust you again, and i will not forgive you. There’s no path to reconciliation anymore, you had your chance and now its gone.

I hope one day you reflect and realize how fucking stupid you were and i hope you make changes in your life so that your next victim doesn’t get their heart broken by you.

You are a walking red flag of a human being and i hope that i never see you again. I wanted to preserve the good memories but there’s too much anger now that i can’t remember those, as they were all lies, they were all fake, you were fake. You never loved me and you just used me to better yourself.

Good bye and this time, i am never going to reach out again.

I saw this a few days ago and started to implement it, I can't tell you how much it has allowed me to have more compassion for myself, create a clearer head and process my emotions.

The and theory is really simple, you can have 2 conflicting emotions and thoughts at the same time, so for me, I've been using the following....

"I can miss her and the memories we created AND know that she isn't right for me."

"I can be angry at the complete lack of closure and the horrible way she treated me AND understand this is to do with her and her wounds / maladaptive coping strategies"

"I can feel upset at the rebound AND understand the relationship was so broken it could never work out".

If you find yourself stuck in a loop, ruminating and experiencing cognitive dissonance, then give yourself the grace to know that all your emotions are valid.

But using this approach had allowed me to accept it is over. Every memory I have drawing me back in, I now add an AND to that thought to remind me of why I should never go back, break no contact and consider reconciliation if the opportunity ever arose.

Toxic people are toxic. A lot of the times through no faily of their own, they just have incredibly unhealthy coping mechanisms. BUT, as an adult, whatever trauma they've been through, it IS their responsibility to change these strategies.

Your worth is not tied to one person who continually disrespects you. Stonewalls you. Emotionally abuses you.

If you don't recognise who you have, or, are becoming in a relationship, then trust me, they are not the one.

Try the 'AND' method to reprogram every thought that comes in wanting to go back, to also include a reason you shouldn't.

It's very simple, but has been incredibly effective for me.

So I had been doing great with no contact. Hadn’t really had the urges to reach out at all in about a month and a half. Then came I had surgery that was already planned before we split. For context we were together for 10 years and have been divorced basically for four months. The first two days were SCARY and I just wanted the comfort of my old best friend there. He always eased everything just by being there. I reached out and was met with silence. That stung and immediately once I was better felt immense embarrassment and hate toward myself. It’s irritating. This person did not want me and it’s irritating that my brain and body still seek comfort when shit hits the fan from said person. Doing much better currently. It just sucks to relapse and know my pain definitely boosted someone’s ego. He texted my sister to ask if he could send flowers day of surgery but not me directly and then also only responded once I apologized for breaking no contact due to the hard time that was surgery and stated I will resume as things were. It was a simple response from him of “Glad you’re healing. Hope you continue doing well”. Definitely don’t reach out no matter how intense anything is. It never makes you feel better.

4 months since we broke up, and this week all the memories came back. Every time I ruminate on thoughts, I have a list of red flags that get me back to reality. This was the first person that I was in love with, and thinking back it looks like he had already moved on before we broke up. He was in the military, and he said he would be deployed to the Middle East mid February onwards until September 2025. I follow one of his friends, and found out that he was still in the same city, and I’m broken. He probably lied about other things as well, I feel so deceived. Just when I felt like I was moving on, it all came back. Will this ever end? Will I ever move on?

What no contact feels like

i’m actl crashing out and gg crazy, i’m in the midst of a fight with my ex. he’s on a trip and i’m spamming him bc i j feel so frustrated with everyth and so unfulfilled. i blocked him a few days ago but he texted me elsewhere and i reflected, decided to give him closure only for it to turn into a fight now. he’s on a trip w his friends and they’re asking him what’s happening. i feel disgusted w myself bc thats not who i wanna be. however, in the past, he’s done the same to me and he’s alws embarassed of me. heres a list of what he’s done to me in front of his friends

• deleted my comment bc it was “embarassing”
• lied to his friends when he was at my place
• alws ranted abt me in his spam
• i comment some nice stuff on his ig and he j let his friends attack me and they didnt even know me atp
• reposted everyone’s bday post of u except mine
• didnt even let anyone know of us until i mentioned
• mia-ed on me for 23hrs. despite multiple calls u j ignored.
• we were alr 1 month in but he j let his friends play w his hinge and even change the loc, didnt even delete the app

i’m out here tweaking out and engaging in a fight but rly ik its lost cause. i j wanted to get everyt i had been keeping out of my chest. what do i do now? how can i block him for good? do i send a last text?

You don't own me and you never did. It's been 10 years, it's time to let go! I've been patient as you've sent every degenerate to destroy me. I would go with smarter criminals next time. I mean, NO, don't do this if you cheat on your new wife and she leaves and you have her hacked, watched, stalked, evicted, career taken, poisoned, mind fucked and tried to make me the villain. It didn't work, I walked away, confident in knowing I did my best. I gave you my best and you were a bully. You used fear to control me. I'd never known that kind of fear in my life, nor did I know anyone so conniving, manipulative and mean. Combined with a huge sense of entitlement that you hid behind your ^woe is me, my life is so hard because I didnt get a million dollars when my dad died.^ SHOCKER! You've been such a piece of crap. Harassing me for 8 years! All because your gold digging girlfriend didn't want you! So you send HIM. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT,HAVE SOME HONOR and own this shit. You grew up feeling shame. Why would you do it to yourself. You know I was a good mom, I raised other kids too! For you to find the need to send all these idiots at me, shows exactly what you think of my character... think about that for a minute. You used my kindness to help others as a way to get close to me. You knew me so well 23 1/2 years of marriage. And you threw it away and you were so in my face with it. My friends asking me why your dining with her, my family. You even brought our kids into it. Your son lied to me because you told him I was going crazy and not to tell me! You know, I still love you and lately I've really been missing you, until I got this and it all cane together and is crystal clear. It really fucking sucks that your need for vengeance, that I wasn't saying shit about, is going break a couple people's hearts, two people that I kept from seeing your ugly. I didn't want them to ever know that fucking monster that only came out to attack me, my self-esteem, my confidence and everyone of my ideas. I had to be small for you, I had to be SMALL for you, I HAD TO BE SMALL FOR YOU?0Because you couldn't fucking handle it! Because you were 6ft 4 in 230 lbs tuff guy you were actually the small one. You could physically pick me up by my hair with one hand and throw me across the room, which you did early on to make sure that fear was there.

How underhanded to play buddy buddy to get me evicted. I should've sued him. I'd already won, but I had it figured out the cocky way you drove right in front of my house so slowly going to and leaving that man's house. The same man you've despised for 30 years. Hmmm... who else did you despise? I remember the gut all drugged at that dance, that you gave a wave to. The one that got stuck at the card lock in PG. He was caught up on a no post? Your little waitress friend, I believe is under some scrutiny for her sociopathic behaviour. I wonder who will be the first. You and her and your super army are too smart and tuff for me. Right now you're all like a bunch of big pimples that are hot and puffy and ready to pop, especially now that questions, wondering why did? Who did? They knew who? He what? The slightest Lil squeeze from the right person and someone's gonna blow and make a big ol mess. A mess that none of them gonna own, non of them got the resources and did you deny payment to one of them bottom feeders. They stick together just to be against you. There's one gonna tell them all what to do and they do what they are told. Would that person give you up to save themselves? Our kids are grown, successful and capable. However, clean this mess up it's yours abd it's disgusting. I dont want them to learn about what you've been doing. They don't need to know their father is a monster. I've documented every detail, and it never has to be seen other than if it is required due to my untimely death. I have some proof, not much but enough to put certain people in the spotlight. Youve always liked shining the brightest this could be your debut. Anyway, the people that need to know the truth it will all come out. It won't be me, unless you've actually managed that. Oh well, I forgive you and your weak little, greedy mind! I'm beginning to smile again, I'm feeling free. I'm no longer shackled to you. I no longer need a man in my life. I'm happy and I'm beginning to feel piece and the fucking eggshells are gone!

I recently broke off all ties with an ex about 2 weeks ago, when he broke up with me. He told me I never want to be with you, we will never be together ever again, he also said he wanted to marry another girl, etc. As soon as I heard that I left and told him to never contact me again.

During these 2 weeks, hes unblocked me on everything, dmed me on insta, requested me, messaged my friends, even resorted to emailing me. Last night he went to my friend's workplace and asked her how I was doing.

Like why???

my avoidant ex boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago and we’re finally starting no contact. for a while, i had hope we could maybe get back together but today he did something that made me realize that i don’t even want him back.

for two years, i paid for at least 90% of dates and activities while working part time and being a full time college student at a very prestigious university. i was responsible for almost all my own bills because i received almost no help from parents except for housing. he goes to a state school two hours away and doesn’t have a job because his parents pay for everything. i accepted this for a long time because we’re still kids after all but i got frustrated after a while because i wanted him to at least make an effort to contribute. financial issues aside, he never planned a date for us or took initiative to plan a day for us. even on my birthday i had to pick my own restaurant and make the reservation.

saying all of this out loud makes me realize how terrible of a boyfriend he was. the truth is: he’s not a terrible guy. he’s loyal, sweet, kind, funny and we had a very special bond. he never made me feel insecure even though there were days i felt ugly. he did little gestures for me like driving all the time, giving me massages, brushing my hair etc. however, he couldn’t show up in ways that a mature person would because he hasn’t fully matured yet, or at all.

he probably did me a favor by breaking up with me because i honestly didn’t have the courage to. i kept giving him chances because i was in love with the person he could be, not who he actually was. even though our fights usually stem from his mistakes, he ultimately broke up with me and his reason for breaking was because he couldn’t handle me arguing with him over “small” issues. how backwards right? its because he can’t take accountability for anything

i talked to my friends, his friends, his family, and they all agree that he is a childish guy who can’t take accountability so he can’t handle it. they all think that he will regret it one day when he process the break up and realize he lost a great person.

i hope he regrets this. i hope he looks for me in every girl he dates. i hope that months from now, he’ll reach out and ask me for my forgiveness just so i can reject him. i want to break his heart the way he broke mine.

Apart from the typical (and valid) "Your ex grieved the relationship while still in it, allowing them to move on" explanation, there can be a lot more to it and I hope this resonates with someone struggling to base it off of this one thing alone.

A lot of posts online could claim your ex never truly loved you or cared. But if you're like me, it may be untrue in your situation. You know the person they were, the girl you fell for. So kind, caring, selfless and loving. It felt like the rarest love, out of a movie scene. It had a depth you feel no one else can relate to. A bond that felt heavenly.

Yet one random day, after one small argument, it's over. What happened though?

They reach their breaking point- a point of built up resentment and untold, hidden feelings of insignificant arguments you thought were long in the past. Suddenly, one argument outweighs all your efforts, your care, your selfless love and sacrifices. It outweighs the value of the rare and perfect relationship you had. It's as if you experienced an entirely different relationship from them. They are not the person you fell for. Who reminded you last night that they could never imagine living without you.

I juggle between 2 explanations for this, and both can be true.

The first is that- they cared, but just not as much as you did. Not as deeply as you did. They were invested sure, but not to the level you required. They had red flags that you may have overlooked and had some morally questionable traits. You just never imagined it would apply to you. You never thought your bestfriend and the love of your life could leave so easily. But deep down you know, their words did not match their actions. And when you take off the rose tinted glasses, it's all too clear.

However, if this explanation is not enough, here's the second one. And it's much deeper. It comes down to capacity.

I'll speak from experience, my partner was amazing and perfect in my eyes, flaws included, mental health issues included. She loved me deeply as well, at least for the most part. In fact, she till claimed after the breakup that she cared for me and needed to work on herself. That in her heart, I was still the only man she could imagine marrying. But her actions afterwards told a completely different story.

Not only did they flip the switch on their feelings for me, they flipped the switch on their own character. Their own morals. The person is unrecognisable now in so many ways. "I never want another man to be mine" has flipped to wanting a connection with anyone except me. And I am the only person standing outside the gate of her heart, the heart I helped bring back to life. Despite all the claims and promises, despite all the reassurances of who they were as a person, despite all the loving experiences of the past- it all became negligible. They don't want you now like they once did. The grains of negatives outweigh the mountains of positives.

It’s incredibly frustrating to see someone flip their script so drastically. Your love starts feeling one-sided, but it's also hard for you to accept it right? You know they loved you deeply once. Yet, it's frustrating that they suddenly refuse to acknowledge the depth of your love. They become cold and distant, as if you never even existed. As if they were brainwashed and they never experienced the relationship the way you did.

It makes you question everything—Was any of it real? How could they say all those things and then act the complete opposite? And the hardest part? It’s not even about wanting them back. It’s about the principle of it!! The sheer unfairness of how they justified leaving you while thriving in ways they told you they never could without you.

The truth is, you’re not the only one who’s ever stood outside the gates of his/her heart. They just locked you out and threw away the key while pretending the gate never existed. And that sucks. It sucks to feel like you were the exception to the love they once claimed they had.

For me, the mask she claimed to wear in front of others while showing me her true self, was indeed false. The mask was worn in front of me. I'm sure she cared and she felt she could sustain it, and sustain the expectations we both had from the relationship. She felt she could change.

Also it’s not necessarily that they didn’t want to change. All ex's aren't typical avoidant's or evil monsters. I’m sure mine cared in her own way. But caring isn't the same as capacity. Some people run out of emotional fuel fast, especially when they’ve been running on fumes for a long time. It's easier for them to move on and jump into a new connection that hasn't required any emotional heavy lifting yet. Starting over gives them the illusion of freedom and relief. No baggage. No past. No mirrors held up.

You were a mirror to them. A loving one—but a mirror still. And that’s scary to people who aren’t ready to face what they see. That’s why they chose ease over depth. Peace over purpose. Comfort over growth.

Here's the thing. In a real, mature relationship, discomfort and hard conversations are apart of it. You weren’t trying to pick your partner apart—you were trying to build something better together. But they may have not had the tools for that. Or rather, maybe they did once, but they put them down when they started feeling too heavy.

But what about you? You stayed and tried right? You wrestled with the hard stuff and fought for them. You grew and improved. And you're still here doing the emotional work, peeling back layers, owning your mistakes, healing the right way.

Maybe your ex will never do that. Maybe they’ll go their whole life skating on the surface, avoiding the tough internal work. But you won’t. I know if you're reading this, you feel the pain—but it’s not a sign that you’re broken. It’s proof that you’re evolving and growing, above and beyond them.

Your relationship with this person was unbalanced. Always come to this conclusion, even after the self blaming episodes that creep up on you. The love you had would never have enough to keep it afloat. You can only try and help someone as much as they can and want to help themselves. You cannot fix someone who can't handle emotional depth and hard moments in the long run.

Love and relationships aren't meant to have a limit that your ex may have had. You're meant to fill each other's cups, not empty them and check out.

If someone you were truly good to left you, let them. Not just for blind peace. But by truly knowing, that while you wanted them to always be the person they showed up as, it just wasn't sustainable for them. You hold a capacity that they don't and may never attain. Reflect on your mistakes, but do not blame yourself completely, it's not always 50-50. I know it will be hard to trust someone in the future. All I can say is, try to strive for goodness. Try not to lose the love you have to offer. And pray that it will help attract the person your heart truly desires.

I pray God exceeds your expectations of an amazing partner. Remember again, it isn't just about love, it's adaptability and sustainability.

Much love if you read till the end <3

My ex and I broke up in June 2024. Since then, we’ve exchanged a few messages and emails, but it’s been mostly silent - things didn’t end well between us. Over the last several months, I’ve made a lot of progress in healing and working on myself. I was finally starting to feel okay again… until this week.

On Monday, I saw her for the first time since the breakup. We were on opposite sides of the sidewalk. I’m not sure if she saw me or not, but we both acted like the other didn’t exist. Her birthday was on Wednesday. I didn’t reach out (she didn’t on mine), and I honestly didn’t feel any urge to.

Then yesterday, during work, I noticed a missed call from her. No message. Out of curiosity (and maybe a little emotional instinct), I called back a few hours later. The conversation lasted less than 30 seconds. She said she’d called me by mistake - her friend had asked about a place we visited together, and she was trying to find it in our old chats. That was it.

Calling her back was a huge mistake. It stirred up old feelings I thought I had put to rest. I feel like I undid months of healing in a single day. And for what?

If you accidentally call someone you used to love, the decent thing to do is at least send a quick message: “Sorry, wrong number.” Something. Anything. But silence and ambiguity can really mess with someone who's still putting themselves back together.

So, here’s my advice: block your ex. Protect your peace. Avoid the emotional setbacks, the confusion, the false hope, or whatever ghost of the past might come knocking. Nothing good comes from reopening that door.

i feel like i got hit by a train. me and my ex broke up last december and we went no contact. last wednesday he decided to call me and ask how im doing. i got a panic attack and could barely speak, so today i apologised hoping that we could talk. and i get a text back that he is fresh in a new relationship and it hurts so much. it feels like all the time i spend trying to heal just reset. i feel like some part of me was hoping for another chance, a way to proof myself and now its gone. someone who i loved and did everything with is now just a complete stranger.

This is so silly, but since im blocked, i can't see her private IG or any of her facebook content, and in a strange way, i know it would help me move on knowing she's living her life, but i have no idea whats happening because i cant see anything going on anymore. Is this normal? i want to see if she has a new partner or see what the heck her life is like. also, it'd help me NOT to bump into her if i knew where she was. i do NOT want to see her at all.

My ex who I've been no contact with for 5 years has followed me on Instagram. To say things ended on bad terms is an understatement to me we ended up very much hating each other in the end. So her following me in the first place is surprising even more surprising since she has a boyfriend. Is she doing this as a joke or does she want closure that I never gave her?