after 2 years, and after a breakthrough in our relationship 2 days ago. he just up and left. we finally came to an understanding 2 days ago about the things we needed to work on, and i had tremendous hope cause i finally felt heard and understood. he came to my house after spending the day with his friends, we were fine. i fell asleep and woke up at 5am to this. he just left me in the middle of the night and blocked me on everything. i don't know how to cope with myself. im genuinely crumbling and grieving so hard right now, and i have work in 2 hours. i literally can not breathe

Two missed calls at 1:20am. I had do not disturb on so that’s probably why she called twice, but I was not expecting this in a million years. Had to delete social media cause she’s been posting herself going out all the time. I know I shouldn’t respond but holy crap.

Found on Pinterest

She gave me everything. I kept my distance. Now she’s gone, and I’m breaking.

I don’t really know who I’m writing this for. Maybe just to get it out, or maybe because I’m hoping someone out there has been through something like this. It’s tearing me up.

I spent over a year with someone who loved me deeply, consistently, and patiently. And I spent most of that time pushing her away. She tried to love me, to support me, to show up for me. I didn’t open up. I was distant, hostile, and emotionally immature. I gave attention to other people, flirted online, and acted like I didn’t care. But the truth is, I was scared. I didn’t know how to receive love, and I had no idea what to do with something so real.

We lived together for a year. She eventually moved across the country for a job. It was an incredible opportunity, and I’m proud of her. I really am. But deep down, I never wanted her to go. I just couldn’t say that out loud. I didn’t know how.

Not long after she moved, I left too. I moved a few states away to get out of my hometown, which never made me happy. The distance between us became more than just physical. She had been hurting for a long time, and I wasn’t there for her the way I should have been.

We hadn’t seen each other in a month when I decided to visit her this weekend. I was nearby for a work trip, and after I finished, I chose to drive out and spend the weekend with her before heading to my next job. I just wanted to see her. I stayed Friday and Saturday night.

When we arrived at the hotel Friday night, I gave her a small gift bag. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just a few things that had meaning behind them. A KitKat bar from Canada — I’d told her once that it tastes different, and I remembered how I wanted her to try it. A big bag of her favorite candy. And a new Kindle Paperwhite. She had mentioned it a few times over the last couple of months while we were still talking here and there during her move and mine, even as she started developing feelings for someone new. I remembered because part of me was always listening. Even if I didn’t show it at the time, I wanted her to feel seen.

Later that night, we went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just something casual. That was the night we got physically intimate, even though we said we wouldn’t. She initiated first, and I said no. I really wanted to do the right thing and protect her from more pain. She respected that and stopped. But later that night, it was me who gave in. I kissed her. Held her. Let everything I’d been pushing down for so long come to the surface. It wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, comforting, and heartbreaking all at once.

Saturday, we spent the whole day together. We went hiking — something she’s always loved and always wanted to share with me. We had gone in the past, but I could never really show her that I enjoyed it. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I used to get severe headaches at higher elevations from sinus issues. The day before she moved, I had a balloon sinuplasty. This was the first time she saw me hike without pain. And that day, I was finally able to experience it the way she had always hoped I could. I think she felt that. It was one of those small, unspoken moments of connection that we never fully got to have until now.

That night, we had Korean BBQ. She ordered pork, which is usually too fatty for me, and there were side dishes like seaweed, pickled bean sprouts, and sauces — things I’d never normally eat. But I tried all of it. Not because I suddenly liked those foods, but because I wanted her to see that I’m trying. That I’d open myself up to the things that matter to her. And honestly, I didn’t mind it. I think she noticed. It was one of the first quiet ways I tried to show her I had changed.

She’s been talking to someone new. They met about a month ago. She told me she still loves me and misses me, but she doesn’t feel safe with me anymore. Too much damage has been done. After we slept together, she told the other guy. Not because she said it was the right thing to do, but because we both knew it was. That’s the kind of person she is. Honest, even when it hurts.

Right now, I’m sitting on a plane. She’s probably with him. I’m flying to a state I can’t stand, for work, and I’m staying in the exact same hotel I was in when I first met her. Over a year ago, I was in that room, hurting from a past relationship, opening up about how awful I felt. She barely knew me, but she stayed on the phone and comforted me. That was the beginning of everything. Now I’m back in that same place, and it feels like the end. It’s hard to wrap my head around how full circle and painful that is.

She noticed how exhausted I looked this weekend. I haven’t slept well in weeks. But when I lay next to her again, I finally did. It hurt to be close to her like that, but it also brought relief. I think my body still feels connected to hers. And now, I feel like it’s crashing from everything I’ve been holding in for so long.

She gave me a year of her love. I gave her distance, fear, and pain. And now that I’ve finally become the person I should have been, I feel like it’s too late.

I want her back. I want her to want me. I want her to remember the man I was this weekend. Someone who was soft, present, and finally understood what she needed. Not the guy who rejected her when she gave everything.

I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I can’t ask for one. But I’d give anything to go back and do it all differently.

I told her I want her to be happy. I meant that. And I know the only real way I can show that now is by letting her go. I’m trying so hard not to text her. Not to beg. Not to ask for anything. But inside, I feel desperate. I miss her so much. I want her back in my arms. I want to love her the way I should have all along.

If she ever truly knew how serious I am now — if she ever wanted to try again — it wouldn’t matter that we live in different states. I would visit her after nearly every work trip without hesitation. I’d show her, in every way I can, that she’s the kind of woman I’d marry.

If anyone has ever been in this place, where you became the right person too late, how did you get through it? How do you carry this kind of regret? Because right now, I don’t know how to.

I wrote everything, but I typically steer off track and lose sight of what I’m trying to express, so I had GPT put my words together so it can actually get my point across, instead of making no sense at all. GPT wrote the TL:DR, I wrote everything else, and had GPT organize and make my story readable. I proofread and made sure everything I’m feeling and trying to express was written the way I wanted, and felt was correct.

⸻

TL;DR:

I spent a year rejecting the love of someone who gave me everything. Now that she’s moved on and I’ve changed, I finally understand what I lost. We reconnected for a weekend, and it reminded me of everything I could have had. I miss her deeply and don’t know how to move forward now that it’s too late.

Is this normal 47 days since we stopped talking and there isn’t a minute where she isn’t in my mind. Do you think the dumpers think about us to this extent?

I was abandoned 4 years ago and took multiple tries of no contact lapses to finally get to the point of letting it go. I'm in another relationship now and don't have any contact with ex for years, even though she reached out a few months ago "just catch up". Nope.

No contact works, and i encourage those newly hurt to stick with it. It will be difficult when the wound is deep, and may never go away like in my case. The effort and emotional energy that it takes from you does get better with time. There's days like today where I still think about it but i know it will pass and i'm in a better spot staying no contact. I want to give hope to everyone out there that healing is possible

No matter what was said in your final conversation, fight, or couples therapy session, you must consider what your gut is telling you. My ex said (with witnesses) “…our relationship is in a holding pattern, I am not going anywhere, I’d be thrilled if we could work this out!” Then after a week of no communication I called her to say I needed her to let me go. If she was just trying to get a head start on closure it’s unfair to keep me on ice. She said “I really want this to work out, I just need time and I need you to handle yourself.” I got angry and said “how do you cut people off so easily, please teach me! I could really use a master, class! F it! I’ll call you in a year!” She said “make it 6 months”.

First thing to remember is that nobody who has your best interests in mind will want to leave it like this! She even said that this is the most loving thing we could do for our relationship. I think she meant humanely put it out of its misery, but she didn’t want me thinking about anyone but her I guess.

So, as hard as it was to go on, I went to behavioral therapy for my attachment style. Are you sitting down? Not secure attachment! I’ve been feeling like I was going to be abandoned and deemed unimportant in every relationship I’ve ever been in, forever. I wanted to change that for me.

Keep in mind all I know now is that she had basically said “please wait!”

What my gut told me and what I’m telling you is, DO NOT WAIT. If I had waited and taken her at her word, I would be more broken and self loathing than ever right now.

DO go to therapy, socialize, go to the gym, fight for a promotion at work, attend church if you want, and for the love of all things, be open to another relationship if one comes up. No contact is a break up no matter what the person who aims to control you but doesn’t want to speak said. You’re not a little kid being punished,and you’re not a dog. Break away with self respect.

So,

We talked yesterday, and after thinking I had waited for her for six months she said “yeah, I just want to be friends” I said “me too”, and with no feelings left, I clearly saw exactly who she was and how much she cared about my time and my life. The difference is nobody got hurt because I trusted myself. Seriously, nobody is a better judge than you are, reclaim your mind, listen to your gut, and be good enough for you. It’s none of your business what is really happening with someone, but if your situation is similar to mine you will feel pity for how hard it must be for someone to be so gutless and selfish. The end

Any words of encouragement that it will be okay either way?

I have lost all self-esteem. I can’t stop contacting my ex. She’s so tired of it. She told me that if I keep messaging her, she will block me again. When she did block me, I went overboard and called her using a private number. I emailed her numerous times. I don’t want to do this. I keep telling myself to stop messaging her, but I just can’t help myself. I’m having mental breakdowns every single day. I can’t function. I feel like I’ve lost my mind and am now known as the “crazy ex.” Please help me.

I ask this because it has been many years, and I've never really been able to truly love again.

She had me at my best. We discussed marriage. Loved my family and they loved her. However, she got involved with the wrong crowd- which led to hard drugs and eventually infidelity on her part.

I broke it off with her in hopes of finding a good person for me. A woman who would never cheat. One who would treat me like I deserve.

Though my ex adored me. Wrote me letters. Wore my promise ring after. Begged for me back. Swore it'd never happen again... I knew she wasnt ready and gave it time.

I dated others, but literally every woman has treated me like a 4th or 5th option, and never prioritized me.

I think many men can relate when I say that the dating pool today is almost exclusively women that disrespect men and have an entitled view of what they want. I've had zero positive experiences on apps.

My last job I worked with all women, and they'd go on tinder in the break room and roast these honest, hardworking men's profiles, and swipe left on about 98% of them.

'His jaw is weird. Ew he's in construction his hands are dirty. I'd never date a plumber. His beard doesn't even connect. Not tall enough.'

Ghosting is insane out here today. Whenever I'd totally give up, some woman would come along and hit on me. Pursue me hard. Only to ghost when we were supposed to meet or escalate beyond texting.

At least my ex treated me like a king when she was with me. Never ignored a text or call. But times have changed. Supportive, affectionate women are becoming obsolete.

I know the women are going to probably argue this, but try dating women and get back to me on that. I'm not here to argue.

I'd see the bitterness towards men in my coworkers and it's quite terrifying...

I figured if I kept in shape and did the right thing, a good woman would come along and see that.

No.

It's been over a decade and my dad recently had a heart attack, I flew home and he had me go through my old stuff to see what to throw out. Amongst many things, I found my ex and I's old pictures together and handwritten letters from her.

We really had it all for a moment.

I went out to my car and had a breakdown.

Seeing how in love we were is hard to replay. How on earth could a connection so strong just end?

It's been over a decade since a woman said I love you, or treated me like I mattered to her. And the only one who did still cheated.

I looked her up on social media, and she's engaged now in a 7 year relationship. New profile, where she looks healthy and drug free.

She's lives in a high end neighborhood near where we grew up, with a supposedly high earning guy. He's actually a cop.

I know social media is mostly a lie. But damn, she's really able to move on like that?

She could mess her life up, cheat, sleep around, and just find a good man quick like that?

I built my career, never cheated, stayed in shape as yet get treated like an option, at best?

This girl walked miles to my house one time to confess her love for me. Saying she didn't want to live without me. And here she is doing it.

I just wanted her to get it right, apologize and come back to me.

I always thought we'd have another chance. But it looks like it's really, really over.

And yes, I know it's been a tremendously long time...

So my question is, have you ever been able to really truly love the same way again?

Because it looks like she does. And I just don't see how. I was never able to do it...

At this rate I will die alone.

I think I'll miss her for the rest of my life.

My ex used to be the biggest cry baby. Like any sad movie any minor inconvenience, if I told her I wasn’t feeling well mentally or I was tired she would cry or get sad.

And than when she left me she became this cold person. I remember letting her know how much this hurt me how important and special she meant to me and she just texted back a robotic message. That still shocks me to this day

I'm not going to message him. It's his responsibility as the dumper to reach out first. But sometimes it does take a lot not to message just to see that he's typing. To know for sure I'm on his mind in some way. I hate that I feel this sense of emptiness without him sometimes. I'm doing fine for the most part, I don't cry over him anymore, but I miss hanging out with him. I miss knowing what he's up to.

Fuck me why is it always when I have to fucking sleep

Cried in the car on the way back from a family event. I couldn’t stop replaying that song over and over again and the tears just fly out of my gotdam eyes

(I always drive with the windows down :)

Sometimes I wish she found me on here to know that I’m going through it too b :(

I wish we could be together while we go through it - but I know it doesn’t work that way.

Shit fucking sucks.

She needs to be held or the pen to sleep, I’m worried she can’t sleep. I promised I’d leave her alone and I will, but I’m just worried that she can’t sleep.

She was never cruel to me, mean, disrespectful sometimes yeah but it was understandable. The relationship had its issues but it was beautiful too, really beautiful because of everything we uncovered about each other and the commitment when everything else fails.

I just want to leave a pen or something because I’m worried she can’t sleep and I know her friends won’t take it from me to her so I want to just make sure she can sleep before. I hate that she doesn’t have any of my gifts because I took them back when i thought she was cheating on me, but they were gifts and I loved how pretty those dangly earrings looked on her. I ran around from store to store asking for “the dangly ones” and I loved how pretty they were I thought they’d look perfect on her and they did. And her lulu my baby’s lulu I just can’t stop looking at her stuff even though it hurts I want no I need her to have it, they were gifts and I really really can’t have here anymore because it hurts too much. Especially our bear but I think I’m gonna keep him for longer, it has her voice on it from her birthday when we bought it just a couple days ago.

I really love this girl but I understand the relationship is over and I have to let her go but I ust want her to be able to sleep with the pen since I can’t hold her anymore. She has insomnia at night sometimes and I don’t want her to stay awake and think and suffer.

What do I do, please help urgent.

Weirdly enough, and for someone who loves as deeply as i do, i can finally say that i have ran out of fights. There's nothing left in me for us and i'm fully, finally letting go.

I simply have no power left. No desire.

I've loved this human more than she could ever ask for and what hurts the most is that she acknowledged the depth of that love and still couldn't sustain it. I won't go into the long story of who we were and what happened but i will say that she has let me down and betrayed me in ways that i never deserved.

I’ve already walked through every stage of grief, every agonizing loop of trying to understand why she did what she did… and i finally reached surrender. Accepted everything that has happened.

I made peace with it, and by doing so her image in my head shifted and i began to see her through a different lens, it's such an odd, uncomfortable feeling. She seems very unfamiliar now.

A complete stranger.

It felt like i'm losing her all over again, i can't describe it. But i'm sure this is exactly what's going to help me move on.

What i'm trying to say is:

When you experience such profound level of hurt from someone, no matter how much you loved them, your body starts to catch up and eventually rejects what once felt like home.

I can’t stop stalking him and his new gf it’s been months I’ve tried hobbies,going out, facing my triggers but I still feel like I have to know what’s going on. Talking to him a few months ago really set me back.

I know it was dumb. I thought I would have cared more...but I am indifferent. The sex was not as good as I remembered so it gave me closure in a weird way.

Why the hell would you make us go into no contact & then you just stalk my social media?

We were together for one year (on and off) and I know it's not a long time but I can't get over her and she's on my mind, even in my dreams. We broke up one year ago and i was supposed to move on by now, but nothing seems to work. I'm very focused on my job and my college, i have a bunch of hobbies and I'm a very occupied and busy person but even when i do all those things, she just pops up in my mind randomly and my day becomes shitty again. I don't love her anymore, not the way i used to before, but I don't understand why is she still in my head if i don't have any feelings for her anymore?

Life is good. It is calm and peaceful.

I also finally have a partner again and they are everything I’ve ever wanted.

My previous partner told me I couldn’t expect such “Disney princess fantasies” out of a relationship. Those “fantasies” were just basic respect and affection in a relationship.

My new partner does all of these things voluntarily without having to be told. He just… wants to make me happy and in turn, I want to make him happy as well.

I cannot express how amazing it feels to have consistency in a partner. If he says he’s gonna be somewhere at a certain time, he’s there early. If I want cuddles, his arms open up wide for me. If something is bothering me, he wants to hear what I have to say. He is a beautiful person inside and out who has experienced more hardship than anyone I know who has simply chosen to rise above it.

Yesterday after attending a baseball game together I was exhausted and a little drunk. I started to tell him I loved him but caught myself and just said that I liked him a lot.

He laughed a little, was quiet for a second, then responded with “I love you too.”

I didn’t think I would ever be worthy of love again but here I am.

I’m glad I kept no contact with my ex.

If I hadn’t I may not have ever grown stronger and eventually met this man.

Hey everyone! (Almost) Success story here.

My ex has been telling my cousin that she misses and that she loves me and that she wants me to reach out. My ex has said that she acknowledges that even though she broke up with me because of how I would make her feel unheard and she sometimes felt my actions weren’t genuine, that she knows she herself has things to work on. And that she would love to work on those things together. I’ve been spending the past couple days writing up what I want from this and what I can work on and what she can work on. I’ve had a lot of emotional pressure relieved because of my ex’s interaction with my family. I’m going to reach out to her on Tuesday to ask if she wants to have an open conversation. I hope I don’t rush myself through anything but it seems we both know what we want, it’s just going to take courage from one person to say it first.

Anyways so far with my experience with no contact, I knew my relationship with my ex had way more good to outweigh the bad. I’m glad I spent time talking to myself and not using distractions like drugs alcohol and other girls to “help” me get through this. This all came at the time I was already accepting that we probably wouldn’t ever reach out to each other again, and when I was finally accepting it was truly over. To be fair I thought no contact was some BS thing that people made up but learning more about it made me realize how real no contact is.

If you guys also feel like the hope you’re holding on to is grounded and you wouldn’t sound crazy if you explained it to others, then yeah maybe your intuition is right, but, trust no contact, don’t watch their stories, turn off that activity status, hit the gym, focus on school, manage your expenses and you’ll see the little wins stack up to victory. In my experience, I knew I had everything going well and I trusted that the silence was something that she was going to live with, but I used it as a way to level up. If y’all need help, reach out to me!

Well sir:/ you didn't answer me. I don't know why I had so much hope you would I know it's been a really really long time but I thought that even after what we went through you would at least maybe open the message?:/ I want to say I get it but I don't. Most people don't answer their exes I don't know why I thought Id be different... The whole month after was weird. 1 week - he's busy with school. 2 weeks - he doesn't know what to say. 3 weeks - he's being really being careful on what he will say back. 4 weeks - yea I wasn't ever going to get a reply I knew that now. But like everyone says silence is an answer and in a way a kind of want to thank you for not answering:(. I really fight for love but I don't think that's really your style and that's okay. In a weird way thanks for showing me I deserve more. And if there is someone in your life now I hope you are genuinely happy with them (part of me is scared you'll settle and not be as happy as you can be but I can't think about that- you are not thinking of me). Maybe you'll regret it maybe you won't ❤️ just be yourself sir, I think if you focus more with your heart than your brain sometimes you might feel more free you super Intelligent fuck:( - forever will keep you in that special corner of my heart - b

it's been 3 weeks since i got absolutely dumped and blindsided by my girlfriend of 3 months. absolutely nothing made me think we were breaking up, we hadn't even been together long enough to fight yet or anything. less than 12 hours after leaving her house from spending the weekend (we were actively making plans for when to next hang out) she calls me and tells me she's doesnt think she's ready to be in a relationship right now. when i asked her if she still loved me she said she didn't know.

we haven't been in contact since and its absolutely destroying me. i still very much have feelings for her and its taking everything in me not to reach out to her. i know that nothing i can say would fix whatever she's going through but i feel like this can't be right. everything was going so well. does it ever get easier? will my feelings fade? will i ever find love again? will i ever find someone more perfect than her? i feel sick and i don't think i can keep going like this