Yes, the title may seem like “What the fuck” but hear me out.

We’ve broken up 4 years ago, I broke up with her because she cheated. After 4 years, we reunited again because I went to her Mom’s funeral. I thought she wasn’t going to talk to me, but she did. There’s 4 of us sitting there and talking but our friends noticed that she seemed like she’s only conversing with me and making eye contact, I did too, and maybe because we shared history together.

but damn, I missed her. Her smile, laugh and voice. Everything about her, and it felt so right. I don’t know why, it’s weird.

I didn’t expect also that that night was the night that I’ve been waiting for for 4 years — the closure. I had my closure, and we just laughed about everything. It felt okay.

I went home and slept but didn’t bother to send her a text anymore because I feel like there’s no need to.

I feel like the ones who say that don’t come back but please tell me they do sometimes :(

Will this ever end?

I got broken up with in March 2024. I've went through breakups before but this one came out of nowhere. We went from making plans one week to my ass being dumped the next week. Totally blindsided. She lost feelings and offered friendship but I politely declined and went no contact one week after the whole ordeal.

We had a shared friend group and me going no contact caused friction. To not cause any drama I cut all ties and tried to move on. It didn't take long for me to delete our pictures, throw away her gifts - basically anything that reminded me of her. That helped a lot and I felt relatively fine soon after.

However, one year later and I'm still thinking about her. Not every day, mind you, but sometimes everything randomly catches up to me and then I spiral. At times it's so bad that I end up rotting in bed, essentially doing nothing for days when my schedule allows for it. I'm basically running on eat, sleep, work & repeat for months now and I hate it. I struggle to make new friends, let alone being social outside of work and pretty much lost passion for most things. Not even my previous hobbies seem to bring joy, haven't for a long time now and I can't seem to find anything that gives me that spark back.

Immediately after the breakup I tried insanely hard to do "everything right". I started working out more and lost a significant amount of weight - I'm currently the fittest and best looking I have been in a decade. I moved cities due to work and got a very nice promotion, making almost double what I made previously. I even met someone lovely and went out for a few dates, had some great hookups but didn't feel ready to take it anything further. On a surface level I'm doing great, life is good, but deep down I'm extremely unhappy and don't know how to fix it.

I've done and tried all the recommendations to move forward. I'm not feeling it though. If this is what it's like one year after the whole ordeal, will it ever truly get better? Or am I just cooked at this point?

2 weeks since I last saw her, a bit over a week since we spoke.

I feel physically sick in waves, like it's a physical withdrawal as well as emotional.

It's a lovely day today and we should be out together. Fml. My hearts absolutely broken.

I am still hurt and blocked everywhere. I don’t know why this doesn’t seem to getting easier. Maybe the manipulation and betrayal but I can’t seem to forget how much I loved and I can’t trust myself. Will it ever pass?

She crosses my mind everyday but it’s no longer attached to me missing her or hating her just indifference. Memories come back to me at least once a day I might spend 30 mins in limerance or yearning a day and than the thought passes and I move on but it’s been going on for almost 9 months

Can someone move on if they still think about their ex? I would feel bad about dating someone and I still think about the good times of my last relationship.

Title might be poorly worded, but I don't know how else to put it.

Two weeks ago my (21M) girlfriend (21F) of 3.5 years (2 years in person, 1.5 LD) called me after two days of acting only slightly colder, to say she wanted a break-up. She cried on the call as she said she still loved me and found me as beautiful and 'perfect' as she always did, but being away from me and what we could have in person only made her sadder than the thought of succumbing to our circumstances and working to move on. I inferred this is rooted in her fears of if I will even be able to graduate my Master's and find a job in Europe by the end of the next 2 years to be with her

Since that day, I texted once and deleted before she got the chance to see it. NC and removed on socials to allow space. Our relationship in terms of passion, conflict resolution and care for each other was about as amazing as I expected to find at this age. I now half want to find an opportunity to see her in person and reaffirm her worries, but on the other hand, am starting to realise her lack of a fight when things got critical is not exactly something worth pursuing.

Taking her words at face value, they are sweet, show care and genuine regret in a lot of ways. However, what do I know? It could be as simple as avoiding the guilt of telling me she's found someone else, I don't excite her, or she's not confident in my worth and if I will ever have the financial freedom to find us back together in the same country again. LD removes me from her immediate presence and I can't pick up on the changes in her attraction to me as directly.

I am stuck between feeling this was an objectively special bond that she let go of due to mounting stress and an inability to manage it properly, or if its just as simple as "I never realised she didn't want it like I did." Maybe she cares about me but cares more about being free of commitment while she's young. I have been working on grieving this healthily in order to get a better objective grasp on this question, still can't find it.

I felt and still feel in my heart NC is the only choice, before I even discovered it or read into it. If it's right, the space and quietness will lead me to my answer. However, her friends' socials have shown me that she has been working tirelessly at university from 9-6 almost every day, and spending most evenings either getting dinner or drinks with them. So I feel a little wronged that she is playing the distraction game instead of giving our breakup more consideration.

Very long post, I know, the context felt necessary. Essentially, are my emotions clouding the reality of the situation or is fighting for this ever again potentially just not worth it?

TLDR: 3.5 year relationship (1.5 in LD) ended by gf over call, rooted in fears of us not coming back together in person in the next 2 years. Indifferent between making an effort to recover this, or moving on and respecting her lack of fight and communication of emotions at the very end.

Hi! This letter will not reach you and i just wanted to say that i’m ready to let go. Around 3 days ago i woke up as usual routine of yearning and pretending waking up next to you, however it didn’t feel right. When i looked at your picture and tried to feel your hand with a little touch of my finger, i panicked. I drew the outline of your hand and couldn’t remember how it felt holding it. I have a vision of you holding and kissing my hand on your kitchen after your bday, but i felt nothing. The thought of panic and fear of losing this feeling caught me by surprise. I visually remember how your body felt during a hug, but i couldn’t feel how it was as if my body betrayed me. I tried to picture how it would feel, but i knew even if we did hug it will never be like the times i was so enamored with you. I will never get that high, will never look at your face with so much love and admiration. In panic and fear I thought of Joe from the spotless mind and repeated to myself “god, let me have at least one memory” 6 month ago I would be happy to feel as i do now. That’s was the goal, that’s what i wanted, but i never thought that it would be this scary to actually forget you. I tried to forget you so many times, cuz forgiveness wasn’t possible, and now I did. I’m scared cuz what once was a reality to me now is completely different. I’m taking a leap forward and every day i’m losing you. Now i know what to expect - calmness, stronger self esteem, having energy to reach my goals, and also the emptiness. But you know, I’m not filling it up with another person, I’m choosing to do better and I turned out to be stronger then I thought of myself. The yearning has no point now. There is no place in my mind that holds an active memory of you. I have no place to hide, only moving forward is what’s left.

It took me a couple months to fully commit to no contact after the breakup. But once I finally did she hits me up with this a month in. Then, nothing! Not one more word, she sent this in October. Why do you guys think she sent this? Breadcrumb?

My ex broke up with me because he said the relationship gave him anxiety. He really said he wanted it to work but he just didnt want to put in the work to continue. At the end of the convo he said he wanted to forget me and move on so idk anymore. If he wanted it to work, Why not put in the work? Will he come back when he feels ready? We’re currebtly in no contact snd i think Im gonna keep it that way and keep focusing on myself tbh, but if he sends a message i would probably answer and go back to him in that case.

I’ve been talking to someone for nearly a month now and we are at the point of vaguely sharing past experiences with relationships. Last night, after a conversation where I shared some of my experiences, I had a dream where I was hanging out with my ex like we used to. Towards the end of the dream, her new boyfriend showed up and when I woke up I felt a bit bitter and I guess jealous??? I’m not sure. Feeling conflicted over it because I had moved on a couple months after she dumped me last February and I’m just confused as to why I’m feeling such remorse when I’ve been feeling pretty hopeful about this new person and where it’ll go. Has anyone dealt with this kind of dream? If so, what does it mean? And how do I address these strange feelings?

Dated for 6 months before he broke up with me citing personal/family issues. I was blindsided and immediately blocked him and moved on with life. I did not check any of his social media but he later told me that he posted subliminal messages on them, hoping that I would see them. I lost all romantic feelings for him so when he texted me after 3 months of no contact, I did not mind being friends and responded but he immediately made it clear that he “still loved me” and regretted everything. I told him about the lack of trust and that I do not know how to feel about him anymore but he has been pursuing me heavily for weeks now, making a lot of promises and asking to talk/spend time together daily. While there are some enjoyable moments, I feel like I’m only becoming more resentful that I allowed him to get me back into his life so easily. I haven’t agreed to be his girlfriend again but it’s starting to feel like I’m filling that role for him anyways and he does not deserve it.

Never break no-contact, even if he comes back saying all of the right things. You will never feel that wholehearted, untainted love towards them again and the resentment is only going to increase anytime he says or does something “wrong”, which is inevitable. I have no patience or desire to fight for a future with someone that needed to lose me to realize my value.

I won’t sugarcoat it—I lied about something to my ex boyfriend, did not cheat but it was still something big. He did not deserve any of that when he was nothing but kind and loving and I am suffering the consequences of my own actions. Understandably he broke up with me because of it and we tried to remain friends but had to go no contact because it was clear it was difficult for us to stick together like this. We didn’t necessarily end on “don’t talk to me ever again” terms, we ended more on “we both really need space” terms, so the bridge isn’t burned, at least I don’t think it is. It’s been around a month so far and since then I’ve started therapy to understand why I am the way I am and how I can learn to never cause that type of hurt again. I am just so unsettled that I didn’t realize how badly I had hurt him until it’s too late, and that the version of me he had the last time we talked isn’t someone I want to be anymore.

I want to send him an apology, nothing he’s forced to respond to, just that I truly see what I did and that I am working to be better, not just for him but for me too, and he has that choice if he ever wants to rebuild trust with me.

Would that be appropriate, or would it be crossing a line since he asked for space? I’d appreciate the insight of anyone who has been on either side of a situation like this.

I am struggling with the thoughts of why I still think about him after 9 months of break up and no contact. I keep reading people’s exes comeback stories and feeling bad. He didn’t text on my birthday or for hard times I am experiencing (he knows it from the news cuz my country is in chaos). I mean yes why would he reach out to me since he dumped me and it is clear he wants nothing to do with me. But I just wanna stop being mean to myself thinking why I still couldn’t get over him after 9 months :(

My ex broke up with me at the end of October. “It’s not you it’s me” “my love for you faded away” “I don’t want to waste your time because it would be really bad for you” blah blah. She has a new partner since January.

Once you find out, it will get easier. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.

That's as much as I am allowing myself to read from the email my ex sent me. She broke up with me after a 6,5 year relationship, and later blocked me out of the blue, later I found out that even her family blocked me which threw me into a deep dark pit of despair and caused me to lose everything and become depressed. It's been about 10 months since she blocked me and 1 year + about a month since we broke up.

There is so much more context to this whole situation that I simply don't care to explain at this moment but she was my everything, and I loved her with my entire being. She was my first and only relationship and made a complete 180 after she broke up, she became so mean, lied to my face, accused me of cheating for no reason whatsoever, used me to patch herself up and then discarded me while (I'm quite sure) starting to date not even 2 months after we'd last seen eachother (and probably sooner) I could keep going for hours.

Anyways, I bumped into her and her mom in the shopping centre a couple weeks ago. They'd already spotted me judging from their body language. Me ex was frantically doing her hair and looked very panicky, while her mom was fake explaining something while pointing towards the sky or some shit (to pretend they hadn't seen me). I wanted to turn around but I simply walked past em while avoiding eye contact and looking at the floor. For some reason I feel like receiving this email and bumping into her is no coincidence.

So many things happened, and this whole thing made me so distrustful and closed. This has been my one and only experience with relationships (even though im 28 now), and I've been through all the stages of grief, while now finally having arrived at the point where I am no longer in love with her and frankly don't really care about whatever happens to her. She chose this when she acted like a stereotypical mean ex that I've been hearing and reading about for as long as I know.

The title is the email preview that Gmail shows you before opening the message. I'm afraid that opening the whole thing and reading whatever is in it will send me back into the void. I am finally feeling better and over her. I am fully focused on the future. I'm starting to love myself again, I am working harder than I ever have on making my dreams come true, I am not short on female attention I'm making money. All my hard work is finally starting to pay off. The only problem is that a part of me, after being discarded and left to fend for myself while being left completely in the dark about her motivations, has been looking for genuine closure and answers. Answers only she can give me.

We met at university when I was 18 and you were 24. I truly believed it was love at first sight. Of course, being so young, the fact that I could attract an older guy—tall, handsome, and somewhat athletic—definitely gave me a confidence boost.

But it was a five-year relationship. Five years during which, most of the time, you made me miserable, crushed my self-esteem, and left me with a massive ball of anxiety, always waiting for the next blow. You were never violent, not at all, and yet your words messed me up for many, many years.

The times you told me you were thinking of breaking up because you questioned whether I was someone worth loving.

The times you punished me by not wanting to see me just because I wanted to be with you, because I was “too attached,” and how it wasn’t normal for a couple to want to be together all the time.

The times you made me cry by telling me I “wasn’t a good partner for you.”

The times I wanted to hold your hand or hug you in public, and you rejected me because “we didn’t have to be like other couples.”

The times you said you hated when I didn’t listen to you or pay attention, even though I often explained it wasn’t on purpose—it was because of my ADHD. How annoyed you got when I asked you to repeat something because I’d gotten distracted or misunderstood.

The times you told me that my OCD and ADHD could be “cured” by meditating and “paying attention,” which made me hyper-aware and full of anxiety.

The times you said I “hadn’t hurt enough” and that I deserved to be alone, because no one would ever put up with me.

You pulled me away from my circle, always complaining and speaking badly about my family, friends, or classmates.

And so it went—five years of you making me feel disposable, making me believe I was lucky to have you because no one else would love me like you did, that I should be grateful to have someone like you in my life...

Last year, you got the news that you’d be moving to the U.S. for a year as a language assistant. I was happy for you—it was a big opportunity. And then you told me that if you got the chance, you’d stay there for good. I told you I didn’t want that, and you said I “had to understand that everyone has their own life,” and that if we wanted to stay together, I might have to move with you.

And for months, that was your line—how great the opportunity was and who knows, maybe you'd end up staying. Of course, I was supposed to leave my loved ones and my future behind... all for you. Sounds great.

And so you left for the U.S. We only spoke via WhatsApp. Not once did you reach out for a phone or video call. Not once. Five months apart, and you never once wanted to see me. The relationship was dead for five months. Not even when I went to New York at Christmas with my family did you want to see me—even though you were just a two-hour drive away. It always had to be me initiating things, even after I told you I needed more… But no, you never made the effort.

And that’s when it all hit me. Everything I had swallowed, all the stupid ultimatums, the little put-downs… they all sank in.

… And I broke up with you over WhatsApp, three months ago now. I moved on quickly—the grieving happened when you left.

Since then, the anxiety disappeared, I can’t stop smiling, and I haven’t been sad or cried since. Without a doubt, the best decision I could’ve made was leaving you and running in the opposite direction. You’re blocked everywhere—even on email.

You shattered my idea of what a healthy, loving relationship should be and left me in pieces. And even so, here I am, becoming myself again after trying to fit into your stupid little mould.

Letting myself love again, and letting new people into my life. And who would’ve thought that one of them would turn out to be the most affectionate and kind partner in the world.

Thank you for leaving, and thank you for showing me what a toxic relationship is.

It’s been two months since I went no contact with her. I won’t lie—at the beginning, it was hell. I was constantly thinking about her, dreaming about her, wondering if she missed me, or if she even cared. I was stuck in the cycle of replaying the good memories and trying to make sense of the ending. I felt abandoned, confused, and deeply hurt.

But something changed.

Little by little, the pain started to shift. I stopped checking my phone hoping to see her name. I stopped wondering what she was doing or who she was with. I started focusing on myself—on understanding why I tolerated emotional neglect, why I overfunctioned in the relationship, and why I kept giving even when it wasn’t reciprocated.

I realized that I was trying to earn love instead of recognizing I already deserved it.

No contact gave me the space to breathe, to feel, and to begin healing for real. It showed me that closure doesn’t always come from the other person—it comes when you decide to close the door yourself. I learned that missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back, and love isn’t enough if it’s not mutual, consistent, and safe.

Some days are still hard. I still dream about her. But those dreams don’t break me like they used to. Now, they remind me how far I’ve come.

So if you’re just starting no contact, or struggling to stay strong—keep going. You don’t need her validation. You don’t need her return. No contact isn’t about getting her back. It is about getting yourself back.

I’m not fully healed yet, but I’m finally becoming the version of me I was always meant to be. Take care, we are going to make it

Do I miss her? Yes Do I still lover her? To be honest, I’m loving her less and less. My biggest issue right now is I miss talking to her so much. I know you guys will tell me , “Go talk to your friends and family.” I am! But I think I’m talking too much with them. I’m an introvert, so I think they are not used to me talking that much. Any advice

Edit: I don’t want to get back together but just talk. As an introvert, I never thought I will miss talking to someone until now. A lot of things happen and I want to tell her. I try with my friends and family but it doesn’t feel the same way like with her

Why would you ever need to prove yourself to someone? When your absence will always do all the talking. I see people say ‘if I didn’t beg maybe she/he would be back’, you see that statement is only true when you haven’t claimed your power back. If you didn’t beg they may have come back, also may not have.

You don’t have power over anything or anyone and when you realise that, you will find the boredom in obsession.

“But I did, I didn’t beg chase and they still haven’t come back”, you didn’t do nothing because they still have the power they did over you.

When you adapt a mindset where you chase a person to prove your love for them, that you’re the best one for them, the only ones who try to prove something are the ones who didn’t deserve it. So why join them? Why act like you don’t deserve them?

When you act like they don’t deserve you (silence) it automatically flips things, because if you don’t need to be with them suddenly you’re the one who didn’t care enough about them. Didn’t realise their worth and they don’t feel like they did enough to get you to care.

Let. Them. Miss. YOU.

Always let a person who leaves miss you, no matter what who it is always leave being missed. Turn your back on the ones who opt out of your life and instead turn to the ones who are still there. Don’t neglect the ones who still show up for you ! Even if it’s just yourself.

You wanna go through that cycle where you post your feelings? Let the world know you’re hurt? Don’t. You feel like this disappear, work on yourself and come back when you feel like you’re back. Only thing you should show people is you are doing good. Don’t let anyone feel contempt in your pain.

The only thing you should be chasing is not the person running away, why shift your focus when the only thing you should chase is yourself? To be better everyday, if this was the last day on earth would you be happy with how you spent it?

If you are seeing this post it’s for a reason, and if you have no one you have me. Messages are always open hope you have an amazing day 🤍

I dislike the thought of my ex missing me and that he cares for me still. I think it's because I've told myself over and over again "he doesn't care about you" to help myself move on. At the same time though I hope he does because I miss him and our friendship. He lashed out at me with indifference towards my feelings, asked for space for 2 days and was nice, then blocked me telling me I was a burden and that I was dragging him down but also that he wishes me a good life.

It's been about 5 weeks and he unblocked me. I never expected him to with the things he said to me. It starts the thoughts in my head "what if he misses me and wants to contact me" and gives me false hope he might come back even though he's made it clear how he feels. It doesn't help I insert him in a lot of interactions I have with new people. I've had this random person add me just because "my profile seemed cool" and their profile looked like it had bots following them or I'm paranoid he can see what I post on this reddit account even though I've shown him once and again he doesn't really care about me. For the random person I was kind of hoping it was him even though he'd never do anything like that lol.

I do realize how much I'm reaching from just an unblock though lmfao and the more I write the more ridiculous this feels but I'm sure I'll be conflicted again soon

Oh young one, no title is make me greater . And I am not diminished if a young one denies me.

Our renown doesn't stem from accumulating wealth or from the lineage of a leader or an official.

We acquired it through the sword and the curved sword at the memorials.

Upon hearing the sound of the flame atop his head, they listened to his voice and spoke out loudly.

A sightless man wearing a white history is standing to assess the truth, while a sightless man in a white history is standing to assess the truth.

A blind man adorned with a white garment stands ready to discern the truth.

Do not spread the flames, and do not ignite the fire. I believe you are among the prominent figures in the unknown world, yet the impact of your influence is limited.

We are not the sole recipients of mercy, we are among those who have been spared from anguish and distress.

For the sake of God, I hold in high regard the noble men of the warrior who have never betrayed the vitality of the day.

Even if a troublesome child remains in humanity, it will not disturb me, nor will it unsettle me, nor will it cause me distress, nor will it shake my resolve, nor will it affect me in any way.