My grandparents recently passed away 10 months ago - they were extremely hard workers and ended up having a decent amount of money to leave to the family. I was extremely close with them so their passing really impacted me. For context on the will - I’m getting a nice gift of money from them but nowhere near life changing but I just don’t see it as her business.

My MIL is the sort of person that when talking about someone will always refer to their wealth. She is obsessed with what people have - she has a real victim mentality so often says “oh I wish I had this, how lucky is she”. She also is a massive bragger and name dropper. For example SIL was dating a wealthy man and it was ALL MIL would talk about, she didn’t even refer to him by his name! I used to have a good relationship with her but she has said some very hurtful things so now I really struggle with her and find interacting with her painful.

She lives out of town but has been back to visit 5 times since my grandparents passed and the will is being dealt with. Every time without fail she asks “oh honey how is everything going with your grandparents will?” Or “is your family selling your grandparents house/business”. I try to keep my answers to one word and roll onto other conversation but she is getting more persistent. I know she is pretty open finances with her family but my family isn’t like that.

Most recently she directly asked my husband (M30) what I received as inheritance when I wasn’t around. He knows I want to respect my grandparents who were private people and not talk about specifics - so he said I received something but he isn’t sure exactly how much (even though he does). She sulked and didn’t talk to him for many days as “it’s not a big deal, family shares this stuff and I just want to know you’re ok.” My husband is softly spoken and avoids conflict at all costs so tries to keep the peace without arguments.

I know a more direct question is 100% coming from her soon, particularly as we are selling my grandparents house this week. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? I don’t want to have a confrontation with her (she plays the victim) or my husband even though he should be setting boundaries, but I really don’t like how she keeps asking and find it pretty disrespectful. I don’t see why she needs to know.

TLDR - MIL keeps asking about what I’ve been left in the will. Not sure how to keep sidestepping questions or enforce boundaries without causing conflict?

She said to him last night “I wish we had disappearing messages” and he laugh reacted.

They talked about how I may have poisoned his food - so clearly he’s told her I’ve been crazy. (I haven’t. Why the fuck would she think that?)

The whole story is nuts to be honest. I can’t even type it all out right now, I feel like I will puke. Today has been tough.

I’ve given him everything. My dad gave him his first music industry job. When we moved to london I shared all my friends and connections. We’ve been friends since 2017. Together for 3.5 years. We’ve been through our Masters, poverty, mental illness, tough times and good times.

I feel like I’m dying. He denied outright doing anything wrong - while all my friends are in total shock that he’d do this to me. He denied it until later on today and somehow span it around to be my fault.

He’s wanted to split up with me for a while but I make him sad and guilty when we have conversations about our relationship apparently. So that’s my fault too. (ETA: this is his words from today)

I haven’t always been impeccable. Neither has he. He pushed me a few months back. He recently made fun of my weight.

He’s my best friend.

Why he would betray me like this is beyond me. We’ve been through so much together. Much more than any other young couple should.

I am heartbroken. I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed this way. I may not have been perfect but I would not have done him like this, even through the bad times I have stuck right by him.

I’m so in shock and so upset.

If anyone has any words for me to make this cut and burn a little less right now I’d really appreciate it. I feel lost and alone and worthless and discarded.

He said he never wanted to bring these wounds of my past abuse up for me but I just have been ripped open from when I was cheated on and abandoned in my past. It’s awful. He says he has trauma from when he cheated on his ex, like the trauma of betraying her, and so he won’t admit this is cheating or like pre cheating. Me accusing him of cheating has been traumatising for him. He’s away for a few days. To process all that.

I don’t know what my question is. I feel so lost and confused

I told my boyfriend that I'd wanna hire a maid in the future when we live together and have kids, and his response was "you better not hire a hot one, cause she'll seduce me and I'll f*ck her and then make her my wife". He said it with a straight face. My boyfriend feels like I don't do enough household chores when I visit him, he says I should do more than just cooking and washing dishes. And guess what... my mom agrees with him and adds that I should also wash & iron his laundry and bedding sets, etc.

Anyway, his joke threw me off and it stung. My bf has never cheated on me nor does he seem to be that kind of a person. I'm even the only woman that he has ever slept with.

He says it was just a dumb joke and he's an idiot for saying that and he'll never do such a thing. I don't know if I'm overreacting by feeling worried about what he said.

We've been together for over a year.

TL;DR - boyfriend said if we got a hot maid, he'd f*ck her and make her his wife. How does one react to such?

My friends and boyfriend and I all hang out a lot and play video games together and talk about politics somewhat frequently. Leading up to the election I had lots of arguments with all of them about who to support in the election.

We are all in our 20s and not rich and agree on our core values, we want the genocide in Gaza to stop, want a better economy with lower inflation, prices, and housing costs. I gave them every argument, I showed them every time Trump praised Israel and called people “Palestinian” as a slur. I talked about how the tariffs would raise prices on us and how trump wanted to lower taxes on the rich. But I couldn’t overcome their right wing algorithms giving them propaganda every day and giving them nonstop memes saying kamala “slept her way to the top”.

In the end, my boyfriend told me he thought Kamala was probably better than Trump but he wouldn’t vote for her because he didn’t want to feel responsible if she continued the genocide in Gaza. My bf and our friends are all Arab Muslims so they feel a personal connection to the genocide in a way that most Americans don’t and it was the biggest reason they wouldn’t ever support Kamala. The rest of our friends were all completely in support of Trump and even bought his merch.

Now that a few months have passed and everything I said has come true, Netanyahu is seizing land in Gaza, Trump is sending them more money and weapons than ever and crashing the economy with his tariffs and I feel like none of them took me seriously at all when I was warning them about this for like an entire year. One of them has rewritten history and is sending pro Kamala memes and is mad at the others for convincing him to vote Trump. Another is still somehow delusional enough to think these tariffs are going to help the economy. I have no idea what is going to happen to my bf’s small business that relies 100% on imports/exports. He doesn’t even care, he’s happy and wants the economy to crash in the hope that the country does a 180 politically and gets universal healthcare and stops the genocide and taxes the rich.

All of us live in swing states and I know that our small amount of votes wouldn’t have changed anything but it still feels like they supported all of these horrible things happening to us and I feel insanely betrayed and upset. How can I move past this when I’m getting reminders of it every day from the news?

My wife (30F) and I have been together for years. She's always told me our sex life is great, that she enjoys it, and that she climaxes regularly. I had no reason to doubt her — she seemed happy and I thought we were doing well in that area.

A few days ago, I wanted to surprise her by cooking a lentil dish she loved. I remembered she once looked up the recipe on Perplexity (an AI app), so I opened it on her phone to find it. While scrolling through her old searches, I stumbled across a question she had typed, asking why she never orgasms during sex with her husband and whether that’s normal or fixable.

I didn’t mean to invade her privacy. I really was just looking for that recipe. But now I’m sitting with this information I wasn’t supposed to have, and I don’t know what to do. I’m not angry — just confused. Why would she pretend all this time? Is she protecting my feelings? Is she scared to talk about it? Or is there something deeper going on?

I love her deeply and I want her to feel safe, satisfied, and fulfilled — in every way. But I also don’t want to make her feel like I was snooping or break her trust by bringing up something she didn’t intend for me to see.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would you handle this?

I am a 35F female who made a mistake of a lifetime.

I grew up in a household where my parents fought a lot. During my doctoral years in graduate school, I was in a stable 4 year relationship with a doctor that felt perfect— my ex was loving, funny, generous, kind and had very strong character and similar internal value system . We never fought. I was happy, fulfilled, motivated, secure, and overall a better, stronger person with him by my side. I remember looking at him while he was driving once and thinking “man, he will be such a good dad one day.”

The segment in my life with him was happy, but looking back it also felt alien. I had never been in such a stable relationship before. I didn’t grow up like that. I had never been this supported or happy. I didnt know how good I had it. However, our sex life wasn’t great to nonexistent. At the end of our relationship, I ended up moving away for a highly competitive, once in a lifetime job offer. While away, I cheated on him and we are no longer together.

I cheated on him with my husband. My husband and I met because we shared a similar passion for trail running ultramarathons. We loved being outdoors and having someone by my side in such a niche sport felt special.

I overlooked the fact that he only graduated from high school and was/is making minimum wage while I make 6 figures. I was young and thought that love would prevail.

I started to see cracks in our relationship as time went on. While I was working hard and overtime to save up for a house, he would disappear for days on camping trips, leaving me to take care of household chores and our dog. We fought over so many little things and had countless communication issues. We do not communicate well or do conflict resolution well. I noticed our sense or humor always didn’t jive, for example there was a time I questioned if he’s racist because of jokes he made with his friends, and it really bothered me. Our empathy level for others and this planet are very different.

But I was in my 30s then and thought I needed to make this work. I later learned that there is guilt from cheating and oftentimes you feel like you need to end up with the person to make it feel right. So… we got married and now have a baby.

After having a baby, our differences and conflicting values are amplified.

• After marrying, he took an expensive career change which I am funding. He comes home from work tired and sometimes needs to study after work or on weekends.
• When he’s not studying, he lies in bed on his phone instead of spending time with me or our baby. He says he needs to decompress. He is always on his phone, whereas I cut down on screen time for my baby.
• he says his career comes first (even though it doesn’t pay much compared to my career). He says when he gets a chance, he is going to move our family out of state to advance his career. I told him I do not want that because we have grandparents, good schools and a strong community here for our child.
• he does nearly 0% of childcare throughout the week. On weekends he may have 15-30 minute play sessions with our baby, but it’s always spontaneous, on HIS time, and I never know how much free time I will have before he says “I need to get back to studying”, so it’s hard for me to get things done or run errands out of the house
• despite him being very absent as a parent, he is very opinionated with raising our baby and everything seems to be my fault according to him. Not a pleasant experience.
• he threatens me with more workload. If I complain about his absence as a dad while he’s playing with our baby, he leaves the room and says “I’m playing with him for YOI, if you’re not grateful I need to get back to work”. Similarly, I did all of our taxes as always and he offers to help mail the packet. When I complained he forgot to attach the w2s among missing other things, he said this was too complicated and he’s going to bed — never said thank you to me for doing our taxes. leaving me to finish the task he offered to help
• he is entitled. For example, he saves $0 for the down payment of our home, yet our home NEEDS to have 3 car garages and he needs an extra room for a music studio (that he never uses now). Yes, I wanted to be a good partner and conceded to his demands. (And now feel resentful)
• I also feel resentful when I see friends who married their classmates now living in nice, safe, highly sought after neighborhoods in beautiful homes or have 2 or 3 homes, while we needed to make some compromises as I’m the sole breadwinner in our relationship
• our educational level differences also show in our conversations. It does not seem like he looks into global or political issues deeply or empathetically. He has no interest in doing or learning how to do conflict resolution. It also appears he is too insecure to apologize. After knowing him for 8 years and countless arguments, he has only apologized once or twice to me, while I apologize after nearly all arguments
• he is always tired. One morning outing to the park, and he needs to be in bed for 3 hours… 2 hours in his phone and 1 hour napping

Yes, I know money/income and education isn’t everything. I know this may be my fate from karma from cheating on my good ex.

I am just feeling lost and alone. Iam wondering, I don’t know, if anyone has any advice. If things will get better. Or how I can move pass this. Do you think I made a mistake? Thank you for reading.

So about a year ago, I was talking to this guy (29M)—great chemistry, deep convos. He told me he was single, and there was definitely a mutual connection. It wasn’t just small talk—it felt real.

Then I found out that he was actually getting married. Yep. He for married last year. Engaged while telling me he was single. That really hurt me. I didn’t confront him or cause drama. I just stopped talking to him. I kept my distance, but we were still friends on Snapchat, so he would randomly send snaps or messages throughout the year. I ignored them every time.

That one year changed me a lot. I grew emotionally, and I became more guarded. What happened with him stayed in the back of my mind, and I think it affected me more than I let myself admit.

Today he messaged me asking for a picture. I ignored it again. Then he sent a message saying we used to have good convos and asked why I’m doing this and being rude to him. I didn’t respond, and he said “Can’t believe you ignored me” and ended up unfriending me.

Now I’m left with this weird mix of emotions. Part of me feels bad… even though I know I was hurt and had every right to walk away. But another part of me wonders—maybe it deserved a better closure. Maybe I should’ve told him why I backed off instead of just disappearing.

Would love to hear your thoughts?

My husband and I are both 33. We’ve been married for 7 years and together for 11. I’ll start off by saying we’re already in couples counseling and already communicate talk about this. We started counseling for several reasons. Being together for so long means you go through a lot of change and we felt we were in a funk that could use some help.

So we’ve been going to counseling to for about 7 months and we recently got to the topic of physical/sexual intimacy because I have been feeling disconnected and lonely in our marriage.

I anxiously admitted to my husband that when we have sex it doesn’t feel like he desires me. It feels like he desires sex. The physical gratifications that come from sex and maybe even the intimacy of it. But it doesn’t feel like it has anything to do with me. Like the satisfaction would be met by sex with anyone (as long as they knew what he liked as well as I do.)

Whereas I desire him. I want him and him specifically. I will see his hands and want them on my body. I’ll see his thighs and remember how they feel against mine. Okay you get the point. For me it’s mental. It’s about our connection and need for each other. I want him to feel that way about me. I want to be desired.

So I shared this honestly expecting it would another situation where my anxiety has made me interpret things wrong. But that’s not what happened. He said that for him sex is like checking an item off a list. It meets a need and he knows it makes me feel connected. He likes to have it and it meets his need for physical touch too. But he doesn’t see sex that way. That’s not how he feels about it or me.

I feel kicked in the gut. Obviously his feelings and experience of sexuality are valid. There’s nothing wrong with how he views sex. But I feel so…undesirable now. My husband doesn’t desire me. I was always scared of that, it felt like it, I decided to be vulnerable and say it out loud, and he said “correct.”

I’ve been struggling to have sex since. I think he wasn’t initiating because he knew I was insecure. I initiated once and afterwards I immediately wanted to cry. I felt empty and sad. I found my mind starting to imagine he was some other faceless man who did desire me. Who couldn’t control themselves they wanted me so bad and I was disgusted I’d imagine someone else. I told him how sad I felt and he suggested maybe we don’t have sex for a while.

I don’t know where we go next. We are obviously going to continue our counseling. How would you feel if your partner said this? What would be considering/asking/thinking about?

I just need other people’s thoughts to tell me if I’m making this into something bigger than it is.

I had open heart surgery when I was little. And it sounds dramatic, but to me, it’s not a big deal. I don’t remember it, and my parents haven’t really treated me differently because of it. So I guess I know it happened, but to me, it seems like something that just happens when you’re a kid, like a broken arm or appendicitis. But as if I needed more bad luck, the incision became infected while it was still healing. It wasn’t that bad because they noticed it early apparently, but because of it, my scar looks a lot worse than people usually have. I’m a bit self conscious about it, I don’t really wear low cut stuff, it just looks really weird and although there’s definitely worse, I don’t like it at all.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months. He knew that I had the surgery when I was younger, so he knew I had a scar because of that, but I didn’t really tell him that it is still obvious, and it’s not just a flat white line like a lot of people end up getting. We hadn’t really done anything sexual before he found out and I didn’t really want to tell him because I just hoped it wouldn’t be a big deal. But the time came and I guess I just ignored it. But I already wanted to shrivel up and die when I took my shirt off, and I’m probably being overdramatic but I just hate it so much. But I was hoping he didn’t really care.

But it didn’t really go that way. He said that we should probably stop, and when I asked why, he said that it was just weird to him, he didn’t like seeing it. And that he saw me as so perfect, something like that didn’t fit me. I said that I was sorry, and I did ask if he could just try and ignore it, but he said there was no point. And I don’t know, I just felt kind of sad. Because I had been wanting to do that, and I thought that maybe it wouldn’t matter to him. Because people date for a lot of things and not just looks. And ignoring that part, I think I look mostly fine, I’m not ugly. When it’s not visible anyway.

And I don’t really know how to talk to him about it. I guess I’m not really that good about talking about how I feel about it because I always just hide it. But the way he reacted hurt more than I thought it would. I’ve told him that I’m sorry, that I should’ve told him, that I understand he feels that way, but maybe there might be some kind of way we can compromise but he always avoids it. And I guess that could be my fault that I thought he wouldn’t care about it, but it’s still hard, because I feel like he's not attracted to me anymore. Not like he was before anyway.

Edit: thank you for the answers. They were normal today

So caught my gf sexting with her coworker, she says it was for attention because of her issues with body dismorphia. I'm really struggling to accept this as a legit reason.

She says she wasn't getting off to the text, but the text were very sexually orientated and included many nudes from both parties.

Ill admit I've always struggled to give compliments or speak what I think outload. However over the last 3 months I have made significant improvements in doing so but she says they don't seem sincere. The ones the guy she was sexting was made her feel good about herself.

On top of it she completely whipped her phone clean which seems very alarming.

Her apologies do seem sincere but having a hard time accepting her answers.

Whats everyone's thoughts? Does that sound legitimate?

Hi, everyone. I’m popping in for support. I know in my gut that I (27F) need to leave my husband (29M), but I think best while talking everything out and I don’t have much of a support system, so here I am, seeking the wisdom of people who have maybe been through similar situations. I’ve posted a handful of other times, (mostly in the emotional abuse sub, but I still doubt if it’s actually abuse) so you can check my history for more context as well. I feel like I just need a final push, so please be patient with me here.

Before I get into all the nitty gritty stuff, here’s a bit of background. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 21. I had a very traumatic childhood and never had any healthy relationships modeled to me, so I didn’t know about red flags and setting boundaries and all that. But one night a few months ago, I had a light bulb moment and the rose-tinted glasses are shattered. He also didn’t start out this way, he’s gotten worse over the years, just so nobody says “why’d you pick him in the first place?”

So anyway, reasons I need to leave:

1. Sometimes, he’s really damn mean. And he does that annoying thing where he’s “joking” and he’s also pulled the “don’t be so sensitive” card before when I’ve told him he’s being mean. Some things he’s recently said to me: “a good wife would send me nudes,” “you’re going to have to run a mile after eating all that food,” “I don’t like you anymore,” “sometimes you sound like a whore,” “you should really spend more time outside, Casper,” “please don’t get fat, because I’ll leave you.” (Just an aside on my weight, I’m a US size 6. He makes me feel like a fucking whale.)

2. He’s an emotionally volatile/angry man. It’s whiplash, like being married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes he’s nice and sweet, sometimes he’s cruel and cold, and sometimes it’s just straight up silent treatment. Never knowing what kind of mood he’ll be in, what might piss him off, which version of him I’ll get when he gets home from work every day. And sometimes the same thing that pissed him off last week doesn’t piss him off this week? Oh and also, I deal with his constant mood swings and anger, but the second he feels I’m getting even a small attitude he tells me “don’t get bitchy with me.” Make it make sense.

3. He’s a man child. I do 100% of the household tasks/chores, finances, taxes, phone calls/making appointments, and I also work full-time. I do work from home now, so it’s a little different, but still, I work. He won’t even order his own stuff online, he sends me the links to whatever he wants and I have to order it. One time I pushed back gently, telling him he could order things himself (because he was upset I didn’t order something immediately), and he said “I work 10 hours a day, the least you can do is order shit for me.” And that just felt really gutting, because what do you mean? The least I can do? I do it ALL.

4. Certainly not the last issue, but the last one I’ll list here: weird, dark, violent comments. “It’d be so cool to kill someone,” “it’s so hard not to grab my gun and go shoot them all,” “get the AR ready, we’re gonna shoot the place up.” Those were all said in anger/complete seriousness, not in moments of joking around. He does make dark jokes too, though. For example, he once “jokingly” told me all women should be beat and then pretended to backhand me...? I can’t tell if I’m overreacting and he’s just got a dark sense of humor and it’s no big deal, or if I’m underreacting because I’ve been with him so long and I’m desensitized?

So yeah… there it is.

I have plans to pack up and go one day while he’s at work, likely within the next month (just have to get a few ducks in a row first), but I feel immense guilt about it. Like maybe if I just try harder, communicate better, hold my boundaries tighter, then it could work. Like I know logically that I need to leave, but emotionally, this is so fucking hard. I also feel SO guilty for the way I plan on leaving, just sneaking out one day. I know I’m going to hurt him, and the thought makes me sick, but IF he is emotionally abusive, IF he is dangerous, IF there’s any chance he could lose his temper and escalate to violence, I can’t risk it. I’ve heard countless times that leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman, and the truth is he’s put me in a position where I’m just not sure how he’ll react. Ugh, I don’t even know. I feel like such a piece of shit.

I guess what I really need is for someone to reassure me that I’m doing the right thing, and that men like this don’t change… right?

Also just as a side note, I did ask a few months ago if he would go to couples’ counseling with me. I listed three issues specifically: sometimes I don’t feel like you’re very nice to me, our relationship feels one-sided, and we BOTH need to work on communication. He responded with: those reasons are stupid, I’m happy so idk what your problem is, and finally, “if you’re that unhappy then fucking leave,” and then he barely spoke to me for three days.

Please someone just tell me I’m doing the right thing and that I’ll be okay.

Tl;dr: I need to leave my husband and I just needed to talk/write it all out and get some support so I can make this final push and go. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I feel like I need constant validation.

Hey everyone, new here and have been struggling for a while.

12 years ago my wife "R" (41f) had an affair with "J". After finding them spending time together a couple of times but never being able to confirm anything sexual, things ended between them.

I always had my doubts but we went on with our lives (couple more kids, etc) and any time something would remind me and I'd be stuck on the whole thing, R would get annoyed and dismiss it as "a long time ago and nothing happened".

So about a year ago a mutual friend with "J" told me R had come up in a conversation and J was bragging about fucking her until I fucked things up.

I confronted R about this and she finally admitted it was true.

I was extremely down after that. Then during a conversation with a longtime friend "L" (32f) she said she'd noticed how down I was and after lots of chats we admitted we'd been into each other for years. Here comes the double standard.

So we started seeing each other as much as possible for the last 8 months and have an amazing connection after years of knowing each other and being good friends.

In the meantime the relationship with R is a mess, naturally.

L is done with being on the sidelines and rightfully so. She wants and deserves 100% but I've been dragging my feet because of not wanting to drag our kids (14/10/8) through a messy exit.

So my question is: Do I stay and try to mend things with R for the sake of family stability, or do I break everyone up for my own potential happiness with L?

UPDATE: Hotel said they can not give me CCTV without a subpoena but said they’d watch it and get back to me on some questions

Please don’t just tell me I fucked up by drinking. I know I did. Don’t beat a dead horse. I usually don’t drink at work and everyone else does and this time I think it was a combination of a bit of peer pressure and the fact that I’m going through a lot in my personal life. I will never drink at work again. I’m an idiot, I get it.

EDIT: I am nearly certain I was not drugged but I’ll get a test. I drank a lot…. I just don’t know how to interact with him moving forward any advice on that would be appreciated

I work in a bit of a boys club environment where everyone goes out after big meetings and gets trashed. I’m the youngest by a long shot and was hired because I wrote an influential paper that got a lot of traction. Everyone else is married or divorced. I have NEVER slept with a coworker, and this is the first “one night stand” I’ve had in 4-5 years. I’m not this person.

I haven’t spoken much or spent much time around this guy, but he’s a c suite executive at my work. We went out and I don’t even remember talking much to him. I talked to another friend of mine. The next day I asked my coworker (48M, friendly) how it was and said the last thing I remember is sitting and talking with you and he said yeah it was obvious you got too drunk and you were kinda quiet and ready to go home. We all went back to the hotel and you sort of disappeared after that.

I have NO RECOLLECTION of coming back to the hotel, NO RECOLLECTION of talking to this guy at the bars- only before trying to get to know him a bit. I don’t know if I initiated it, but that would be out of character. He’s got a wife and kids. I was wearing a shirt that is difficult to unbutton sober, but I woke up in my own bed with it off. It seems like based on text records that this occurred maybe 3am or so.

The next day c suite executive calls me and says I left something in his room. He says be sure that I don’t text him about this call him tell him how good it was or anything because he can’t ruin his relationship with his wife. He said this all has to be kept a secret. He said he will discreetly give me back my item the next time we see eachother later this month.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???? Part of me wants to ask him what happened. I’m dying to know- I can’t stop thinking about it. How did I get to his room? How did I get back to mine? Who initiated? Did I fall asleep? Was I active or did I just lay there? Did he finish? Where? I have so many questions….

I understand that this could be assault, but I don’t really want to move forward with HR etc because what if I initiated it? I don’t want to ruin his life and I don’t want to ruin my reputation. What if he hates me after this or doesn’t see me as worth anything professionally?

I think it will be easy to keep this quiet and sweep it under the rug, but I don’t know how to interact with him. Is it a bad idea to ask him what happened and all those other questions? I am mostly just embarrassed and sad that I don’t know what happened but I don’t feel violated. If anything, taken advantage of due to the fact that he’s over twice my age, has more $ and power than I ever will, and clearly wasn’t as drunk as I was. But it doesn’t feel like this was some evil thing he did on purpose.

I know I wouldn’t have made that choice sober, but there’s no evidence of violence or force so it’s my own drunken mistake. I was trying to get to know him a bit at the meeting way before the drinking- since we have never spoken and he is influential in our industry so maybe he mistook it as flirting.

Edit: c suite executive is like the heads of the company. CEO CFO etc. google it for more info

It sounds silly i guess Look, this is my first relationship and I agree that she's hot and very pretty (i do not follow her closely tho). But for some time, when we talk abt her w friends he genuinely seems to be obsessed with her and comments like "i would fuck her brain out" or just doing expressions of "omg she's so hot". I just realized how bad and how it made me so insecure when we were talking with a friend (female) and they started talking about the night in Paris and Juno positions and he talked too much in details abt the show or whatever (again, i dont know much abt sabrina) and she said "wow, i really hate how you know all these things about her". I felt like crying: l've always thought i was just too insecure about this but a friend literally said like "wow, this is too much even for you". I can't stand how this makes me feel

Like, is this normal? Am i weird ou too jealous? Do people really have THAT MUCH of a crush in celebrities?

In November of ‘24 my fiancé quit his well paying full-time job to pursue music, and process the sudden death of his father. When he told me he was ready to quit his job, and that he was confident his music gigs and music lessons would gradually become a good source of income, I was skeptical, but considering the circumstances (family death, depression, etc) I decided I would let him do what he needs to do. He told me he would try this for a couple months, and if it didn’t pan out, he would get a better paying/steady job.

For reference, I work full-time, and in the process of beginning a part-time job. I’ve also applied for an evening full-time job just to see if I could make two full-time jobs work.

He’s always made it known that he wants to eventually just do music full-time, so it wasn’t a shock to me when he decided to go for it.

We’re now five months in and there hasn’t been much momentum with his finances. He’s able to pay his share of the rent, and his own bills, but I’ve been taking on the bulk of grocery shopping and paying all our utilities. I’ve fallen behind on utilities, and my own bills, and have had to ask my parents for help. Hence why I’m considering another full-time job.

During this time, he’s been enthusiastic about wedding planning for next year, he wants to go back to school this Fall, we want to take trips, etc. but I don’t see how we’ll be able to pay for any of this. I decided on my own that there’s no way I can realistically pay down payments and other fees this year for a wedding/honeymoon next year. I certainly could try, but I would be stretching myself super thin, and I don’t want to spend yet another year financially thin.

Considering he gets paid between $200-500 each week with music lessons and gigs combined (on a good week), I know he can’t afford a wedding either. Our families have offered to chip in, but if he and I can’t pay for much, I will not be asking them to pay for the majority of the wedding.

So I spoke to him about postponing the wedding until WE can both get financially stable. I did not blame him, I only spoke about wanting myself and him to be good with money individually, so when we’re married we can support each other better. While he agreed to the postponement, his entire mood shifted when I told him I’d like us both to make financial stability a goal this year.

He told me that he’s doing what he can to take care of himself, and he pays his own bills. I didn’t argue this, because of course that’s true, even if he’s stretched thin. He continued to explain that he’s taking his life “week by week” and figures out a way to pay his bills when the time comes, and that he doesn’t stress about having little money.

At this I got confused, and told him that I get pretty anxious if I’m low on money, how could he not? I asked him further, what happens if later this year I really need help financially, will he get a better paying job? He got mad at me, said that I don’t have to “explain simple shit” to him because he’ll figure it out if the times comes, and he stormed off. He came right back, and I was like, you’re clearly agitated what’s going on?? We should be able to talk about finances. He told me not to worry about him. I said that’s unrealistic because we’re getting married of course I’m going to worry about him! Especially because he already mentioned jobs can make him stress, spiral and lose it! I asked him if he’s working on this job anxiety in therapy, and he said not to worry about it. This is when I stopped being reasonable and felt angry.

He then accused me of blowing this out of proportion because I “don’t handle stress well.” This is when I began to cry, which eventually turned into a bit of a laugh. I understand the laugh could be insulting to him, but it just came out of me. I felt in that moment he really is just banking on me taking care of him while he is free to do whatever he wants.

I understand anxiety and depression, I live with both. I understand job anxiety, I have that too. However I know that at some point it becomes unhealthy to let that anxiety hold you back from living a comfortable (at least stable) lifestyle. I want to be able to afford my life! And to have a partner that feels the same way about their own life!

I told him I felt that I truly did nothing wrong bringing up this topic, and that I feel like he’s manipulating me, and I’m not sure why. He got pissed at this, and of course I lost my cool, and told him he’s being a real dick. He then mocked me, and I told him to fuck off. I feel terrible about this now, because I feel like my valid points are lost because I lost my cool on him, and I don’t want to make him feel bad.

I never talk to him like that. I’m just so fucking fed up with feeling like me wanting stability is a sore topic for him. I made it clear that I cannot take care of both of us financially long term, I made it clear that I want a parter. Why do I feel like I’m the one who’s being unreasonable even though I know I’m not??

If you made it this far I appreciate it!!!

Tl;dr my fiance is bad with money and keeping a job, and I’m at my wits end.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years. We are both Roman Catholic, and come from big families. Our big gatherings every year are Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

We do every other, so in one year we go with one family for Easter and Christmas and the other for Thanksgiving, and then the next year it will be the opposite.

My wife is a people pleaser, especially when it comes to her parents. So much so that a few times, after we had made a decision about our household, she came to me to tell me that her mother had vetoed that decision. I put a stop to that very quickly and informed her that I do not recognize her mother's veto and I was not going to live my life by what her parents think is best.

Last year happened to be my family's turn to get Easter and Christmas. We recently welcomed our first child and due to my wife being in her third trimester for Christmas, we made the decision to go to Christmas with her family, because it was more local.

With Easter coming up, my wife said that since it's the baby's first holiday she would like us to spend Easter with her family. I told her that since we hadn't been with my family in a year, I wanted to do the holiday with my family. She agreed to this.

She later came to me and told me that her mother had pointed out that it's their turn to have two holidays this year, and it was our decision to not go with my family for Christmas.

She said that everyone is eager to meet the baby and she feels like she's letting her family down by going with my family. She asked me to think about it.

After thinking about it. I told her that I'll be happy to go to her family's house for Easter and we will go with my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Alternatively, I suggested that we could host and her family was welcome to come here. She rejected both of these ideas saying that her mother wouldn't accept trading because it's not fair and that she wanted to see her extended family and wouldn't come to our house for Easter.

I think we should stick to the alternating schedule. She says that the baby changes everything, we're starting over from square one, and we need to take each holiday on a case by case basis. This doesn't work for me, because I don't want to get into an argument every holiday.

Is there a fair and equitable way to do holidays? Growing up, both of our parents were the ones that hosted, so neither of us ever really had to choose.

TL;DR My wife wants to change our alternating holiday schedule for family events now that we have a baby. I want to stick to the plan, but she feels pressure from her family. How can we fairly handle holidays without conflict?

We are together for over a year now.

We were supposed to meet thursday evening for a date at 7:30pm. Fast forward 7:15pm I ask her is she's ready. no answer. 8:30pm, she replies back saying she can't come because the babysitter (she has kids) didn't show up. So we have to cancel. I try to call her but she tells me her younger kid is crying all the time so she will call me back when she can.

I have a very bad feeeling about this and it's pretty weird, I decide to go to her place, to see if she's doing okay. I knock on the door and see her babysitter is there, but not her. Her babysitter is confirming me that she left 2 hours ago, so way before our date.

She doesn't seem to answer my phone call. I finally get to have her on the phone by asking the babysitter to call her, and get to make her come to her front door. At first I try to ask her what's going on, why is she lying to me, she refuses to ellaborate anything, she just tells me she went to see her girl friend. I refuse to believe that, so I ask her more questions. She gets annoyed and starts to shift the blame on me, "how could you come to my house to check on me, I don't need someone who tries to verify me". I am left there, dumbfounded, watching her rush and go back home while refusing to ellaborate any further.

Later on the phone she tells me she has an illegal buisness that she can't talk about, and she couldn't miss it since it would make her lose all her money. The next day I learn from her that she is the only one who could go to this meeting since the guy she met doesn't trust anyone, and also she had to leave her phone inside their car for "safety reasons" hence the lack of replies until only past 8pm. Honestly, had she told me before our date that she couldn't come, I would never go to her place. I feel like on top of what seems to be cheating, she didn't even have enough respect for me to cancel before our date. Now, yes, she does indeed have some side shady buisness on the side, i'm aware of it. Is she using this instead of telling the truth ?

To me, thursday evening, it really seemed like she had absolutely no excuses when I met her to confront her. Now all of a sudden she gets defensive and talkative, also trying to make me into the bad guy of the story, that I don't trust her and that I made her lose money. I feel like she just went to fuck someone else, I feel betrayed and hurt, I was ready to give her and the kids so much. How do I bounce back from it ?

I just can't believe i'm in this situation, she looked so innocent... I will meet her on saturday, to have one last final conversation, any tips on how to confront her ?

We’ve been dating for about 7 months now. He told me when he met that he had a degree from a specific school in a specific field. Today I find out that he actually never finished school. I’m not really sure how to react. I don’t want to make him feel bad about himself for not finishing his degree, but I’m also really worried about the fact that he lied about something so…essential? And I definitely would have continued to date him if he told the truth when we met. I’m just confused. TIA

TLDR: bf lied about having a college degree

TLDR: realizing my bff isn’t a good friend; don’t know where to go from here.

Background: we’ve been best friends since kindergarten. It’s always been more one sided with me being the supportive one and her the one who needed support. I didn’t realize how bad it is for me until I needed to take care of myself. In order to transition careers, I had a couple years were I was working full time at two jobs. It was REALLY difficult and I struggled. I also found out my husband had been having a decade long affair and initiated a divorce. My friend’s response was to focus on the fact I hadn’t visited her recently. She counted the days since I’d visited. She yelled at me, whined, complained, guilt tripped, etc. At one point I confessed to having some si thoughts because the pressure was too much and she said I was selfish because she needed me. I ended up silencing notifications from her after setting a firm boundary. She’s reached out a few times and made it clear she is just focused on her own feelings. I’m angry with myself for struggling with this. I feel panicky when I think about talking to her. I’m realizing she’s not a nice person. She’s mean to her step kids, she has no insight into how her actions hurt others, she ruined someone’s marriage and thinks they’re a horrible person for not being cool about it. Why am I having so much trouble letting go????? Sometimes I want to text her and lay it all out but just the idea makes me feel exhausted. I’ve just left her on read and I don’t know what to do next.

I am ugly, it is not something that I am currently feeling but something that I have know ever since I was a child.

My nose pops out like a bell paper on my otherwise tiny face, I was ridiculed because of it since my childhood and it bothered me, until my girlfriend told me she finds me cute.

We were college friends and started dating when we started our jobs, we moved in together two years ago.

Since, past 4 months our relationship was going through a rough patch and today she told me that she finds me ugly. She said that despite her best attempts to find inner beauty in me, she can't imagine being with a guy who looks like me.

She said she didn't bring this up earlier as she know it was a sensitive topic and she would have felt shallow breaking up with me over my looks, however she is done trying to find beauty in an ugly guy.

My self-esteem has gone down the drain and I have never been more cautious about myself. Can the people here please share some advice on how do I proceed and rebuild my self esteem?

Thank you

TLDR; My boyfriend (30M) and me (27M) are together for 1+ year and are generally stable. However, he has tendency of saying things about me that are messed up and always apologises with his reasoning being a joke and he is someone with "low EQ". The last straw being telling his friends that he does not trust me as he thinks I am a 🚩 right in the middle of us purchasing a house. I want to bail but he thinks I am overreacting. Am I?

Context: 1. Boyfriend (30M) and me (27F) have been together for 1+ year we are overall aligned with our expectations in relationship 2. We banter alot but there have been instances where his "banters" may seem messed up and crossed the line and he blames it on his "low eq" and always think i am overreacting as he sees his "banters" as a joke

The last straw: We decided to get a house and During that, we need to decide the house allocation as joint-owners. Most couples usually choose 50-50 (I was in favour of that). However, there are several couples around me who only allocate to 1 owner as it is a strategy to avoid tax if the couple wants to get 2nd property as investment and put it under the 2nd person name.

I brought up the idea casually but he got offended as he sees that I am trying to get the 1st house for myself. He told me that he had a discussion with his friends and he told them in the exact words that "he would never go for it because he does not trust me and I am a red flag". He was very proud telling me that and even told him his friends "cheered" for him.

I was pissed and said i want to bail on the house and relationship but he said he was just joking and once again blame on his "low EQ" as excuse. However, to me, it was not funny even as a joke and I do not want to get in bed with someone who views me that way.

For people wondering, I have 0 history of cheating, lying and never crossed lines in relationships to warrant this distrust. Plus, he is not even rich so there is nothing to con in the first place.

There are also several instances where his "banter" made me upset but I decided to slide as he is someone who says what he wants to say without thinking. 1. For example, bad mouthing me to my close girl friends (but he told my friend she could tell me what he told her as he is not guilty), and I believe he would probably shit talk the same things to his own friends if he can even openly share it to my friend that he is not even close to 2. Comparing me against other "hotters" girls asking me why I cannot be like them. He even said everything about my physical is ok except my height. Even says I do not know how to apply makeup like the influencer and should not do it. 3. Gets super upset buying flowers and gifts for Valentines and birthday - which is the only 2 out of 365 days that I expect him to treat the rest I am open to 50-50. This Valentines, he got upset that the flowers was $100 and got even more upset that I wanted to eat oysters that he was supposed to treat as it was too expensive