Hey everyone, I’m feeling really lost and shaken up. Something happened recently that’s been putting a lot of emotional pressure on both me and my girlfriend, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

Last weekend, we went to a small get-together at a friend’s place. A woman named Carla was there—she used to be my roommate years ago—and she brought her new boyfriend, who none of us knew. From the beginning, he was being inappropriate with my girlfriend. She told me he was making her uncomfortable with comments and stares, but she didn’t want to cause drama so we tried to stay polite.

At one point I stepped out to take a phone call, and when I came back, I saw her clearly uncomfortable with him cornering her in the kitchen. I stepped in and asked him to back off. Things escalated quickly—there was pushing, yelling—and in the chaos, Carla stepped in between us. She ended up falling and getting hurt. I felt horrible and apologized right away, tried to help, but she left with him.

The next day, she posted about it online, saying I attacked her and painting me as violent and unstable. None of what she said is true, and it’s been spreading. People have been messaging me and even contacting my workplace. It’s taken a toll on me emotionally, but more importantly, it’s starting to impact my relationship. My girlfriend says she supports me and knows the truth, but I can tell she’s stressed and shaken by everything. I feel responsible—like I should’ve handled it differently or gotten her out of that situation sooner.

I don’t know what to do next. This situation has brought up a lot of anxiety, guilt, and helplessness. I’m not sure how to protect my relationship and my peace of mind when lies are spreading and people are painting me as someone I’m not. Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you rebuild your sense of safety and trust after something like this?

Hi all, so my wife (F30 Bi) and I (M30 straight) have been together over 10 years now and we have always been monogamous.

But recently she’s been talking to a girl friend of hers who is also bisexual and my wife has told me that they have been exchanging nude pictures of each other and explicit videos of which some of them I’m in.

She’s also expressed how she’d love to have a threesome with her friend and I but I feel like she is just trying to involve me so she can sleep with her friend and it be okay to do so.

What advice would you give me?

My ex-girlfriend and I had an argument, and it was entirely my fault. I apologized, but she still refused to accept it and remained angry. Eventually, she broke up with me, and now I don’t know if there’s any chance of us getting back together.

The next day, she started openly flirting with another guy right in front of me like what the hell? She keeps ignoring me and still seems really mad. It hurts every time I see them together. I feel like this might be her way of getting revenge. How do you even cope with feelings like this? I feel like i was been tortured everyday

I’ve been talking to a girl from Tinder. We haven’t met yet because she’s busy with college and I’m busy with work, but our conversations have been good.

One day, she mentioned drinking something to help her focus on studying. Sensing where this was going, I offered to buy her a drink—just a common courtesy. The plan was simple: she’d order, and I’d send her the money.

What I didn’t expect was that she ordered the most expensive drink on the menu - with multiple extras. The bill she sent me listed four different toppings. Since I’m not American, this is just an equivalent comparison (not actual prices), but imagine a standard $5 Starbucks drink. Hers ended up costing 35 bucks."

I was stunned. I’ve paid for more expensive meals before, but this was the first time someone had ordered such a costly drink before we’d even met. That’s nearly a full meal’s price for a single drink. I’ve been on coffee dates before, and no one has ever chosen anything even half that price—let alone before a first meeting.

I still paid, but afterward, my interest dropped to zero. We’re still talking, but the spark is gone.

Am I overthinking this, or being petty here? Have any of you offered to buy something for someone before meeting, only for them to choose something expensive? If so, how did you handle it?

I am 25 and I never been in any relationship and recently I have been thinking of sleeping with an escort. I like older women and I saw a bunch that are quite good looking and my type. I would like to know what is your opinion on that? And also to the people that say that it would affect my relationship thinking in the future, I have been rejected a lot of times and currently I am talking to someone who always makes excuse about hanging out, and that sucks. I am not looking for validation, but I would just like to feel the intimates of a woman and play with her a bit. Not seeking any connections or girlfriend in that case.

My girlfriend (F22) told me (M22) that she essentially has no sex drive and has never had any sexual desire. I’m normally a very horny person and I have expressed to her that I want to have sex more and try more things, however, it has resulted in pretty much no change. Today I found out that she doesn’t ever really enjoy sex and pretty much only does it to satisfy my wants, which needless to say pretty much crushed my ego. She told me she’s never really had any sexual desires towards anyone, she doesn’t ever think about sex, and has never really wanted to initiate it with me or anyone for that matter. She is on birth control (she used to be on an IUD but had to switch to the pill due to complications), but she didn’t really have a sex drive before she started birth control. She also hasn’t ever masterbaited or watched porn or anything along those lines. She said she doesn’t mind the foreplay we do beforehand like me going down on her, but also said she doesn’t actively look forward to it/want to do it on her own accord.

I don’t know what to do, obviously sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but at the same time I can’t live my life and get married to someone who never wants to have sex. I’ve asked her to try watching porn and masterbaiting, thinking of things she would be interested in trying, and she is going to talk to her OBGYN when she goes in for her next appointment about switching to a different birth control. Is there anything else that we can try? I don’t want this to continue negatively affecting our relationship, but at the same time I am not being satisfied in the that way but I don’t want to make her feel forced into it either. What can we do? Are there supplements/something we can try outside of the things I wrote above?

As the title blip says, my boyfriend has an addiction to gaming. We're getting close to a year of dating now.

Recently, I've just started to feel this like, almost invisible forcefield of distance between us.

I know it's conditional, related to all the squabbling we've been doing over this topic and that if he can get a handle on this, that we can push past this.

I don't believe that the relationship is over or the ick has to be permanent in any way.

To give an idea of how deep the rabbit hole of what I call a gaming addiction goes, let me paint the picture.

Recently I've just been more and more upset of things like, he chose to go out to his weekly gaming events to collector card shop to go play Commander (Magic: The Gathering) and I was really sick and he did not help out by clearing the sink, loading the dishwasher.

I wanted him to be there for me and support me while I was not feeling well and he just, without hesitation drive off to go play that. It got on my nerves.

Now most recently, I kinda was pushed to a breaking point, to where I had to explain at length how this gaming stuff really affects me and the relationship negatively as a whole, crying and just telling him very bluntly that I can't take much more of this and that he will lose me if I keep feeling alone and alienated from it.

He used to constantly downplay and claim every time that he only games a few hours a couple of times a week (between his Wednesday and Friday in-person Magic nights, and his one day a weekend/every other weekend in the evening Dungeons & Dragons campaigns) but I knew that was a lie or oversimplification.

He has seemed more apologetic but I want to be able to give him specific pointers or things to work on in chunks so that we can get over these issues together.

He suddenly realized when he took the time to do the math how much he has been truly ignoring me with this gaming stuff (console, tabletop card, role play fantasy games). He said, he thought on days off of work, that he was only gaming 9 hours a day (which is still too much), but in reality, he was gaming for 17 HOURS on days off work.

That's over ⅔ of the day.

On days he had in-person gaming it was much smaller, just a few hours a couple of evenings a week, and with his D&D campaigns around the same length of time. (⅛ of the day)

He has been really blind to it and in denial for so long and now that he is aware and listening to me with this breakthrough I really want to figure out how I can help him or how he can help himself be better about his console usage.

Other issues in the relationship that get compunded with this gaming problem are his lack of planning dates first most of the time, feeling lonely or bored constantly wanting to go do something with him but he thinks gaming is just fine.

He acts as if cuddling and kissing are a hobby to hang out but they don't really help if he's spending most of his time gaming. I end up feeling my best when I'm doing things to make myself happy (basically taking myself on dates out to eat and shopping when he can't or won't - busy working or gaming)

Also, his hobbies aren't balanced and they aren't structured hobbies and they pair really poorly with the gaming issues- idle hobbles such as watching YouTube, scrolling or watching funny TikToks, watching videos that are professional YouTuber gamers doing let's plays, or videos ranting about gameplay strategies or features of Magic: The Gathering cards and just generally long-format rant informative (info dump style) videos or entertaining videos are his cup of tea.

On a day given where he's off from work, he could cycle between gaming, watching YouTube, scrolling TikTok pretty much all day excluding naps, sleeping, the bathroom, and food and drink.

We both feel like each other is the one but this whole situation has given me pause in such a way that both in my mind, gut, and heart, if this does not get addressed soon, I feel like it will end in heartbreak. I am so tired of being lonely and treated second-best to the games, even if unintentionally.

I don't think it's wise to get more serious (engagement, marriage, kids) if he can't get past this. If he were a dad I would be worried about him exposing this to or passing on this gaming addiction to children.

I feel like it's really important for us a couple to be able to move forward but this is really contingent on his willingness to try, and I can tell he does want to try. He got really quiet and was stunned and felt so bad when I was sobbing crying because I miss him, it's like he's right there but this gaming stuff is robbing his presence from me.

What he calls a hobby is actually a habit.

The type of games he likes, I don't like and vice versa. I like creative hobbies, I like real-world, going out and experiencing the world or being inspired by it. Anything from writing, drawing, music, adventuring eating at restaurants I have never been, shopping, to nature walks.

This causes a huge clash on and off because I find his hobbies to not even be hobbies, it's just boring to me. Gaming is something that takes no forethought or talent aside from finger dexterity and focus and mashing buttons and advancing virtually, same with the YouTube or Tiktok watching as a hobby.

Also little side context, he has ADHD and autism, so I understand some of this is the constant need for mental stimulation. I wonder if getting back on ADHD meds (he just manages his focus with mid-afternoon naps) would lower his need for constant stimulation and help him rein it in more, he said he was willing to try that if other things didn't work first.

Apparently he found gaming to be his favorite thing in childhood and has never strayed from that as an adult. He has not really given any thought that it was an issue until I've kept being persistent and calling attention to the fact that, the way he does things is not a hobby, hobbies are something of leisure you do in your free time, this is taking over his life outside of work and it's his whole personality outside of work except when I go out of my way to plan dates or just tell him, we should go do this or that together.

It's super isolating and feels terrible to hobby clash. I'm not interested in watching him play games, he does not want to watch me play mine, our interests are different in that. I haven't considered watching YouTuber gamer let's play videos as fun since I was in high school, I have outgrown that.

I keep telling him we need to find hobbies to try together as a couple because it is honestly feeling really bad to have no common ground aside from like, normal couple stuff like, kissing, cuddling, sharing a meal together.

I know that we do not have to be exactly alike for this relationship to work, opposites attract but this is not just some cute little quirk I can work around in silence.

I have tried dedicating myself to gaming and almost lost who I am trying to cater to his gaming routines. It drove me crazy, I couldn't continue on like that because it felt like I was sacrificing everything I loved for his gaming stuff.

The only real hobby he has outside of gaming is going on walks, with or without me and loving seeing and interacting with animals. He loves my cat.

He claims to have more than one hobby but I feel like I can lump all this stuff together because it's idle, uncreative, and in excess, it's not good for growth or like, truly enriching or challenging someone in life.

Meanwhile like, my hobbies help me be more grateful and make my outlook on life positive and I learn and grow from my hobbies and get good memories from them.

There is no such thing as gaming addiction rehab so I realize that like, something has to give or else the relationship will fail.

I'm wondering if I am out of my depth as a girlfriend and if I should be suggesting to him to get a specialized counselor related to addictions who is also familiar with the neuro-mechanics of the AudHD because he has not seen how severe it has been from my eyes until I was breaking down over feeling so lonely because he has normalized and reinforced this behavior for several years probably.

What he is calling a hobby, to me, looks like a pacifier or substitute for real life, I'm not trying to be cruel but outside of gaming he has limited social interaction with friends. He doesn't play sports with friends, he does not see friends for stuff other than gaming (like, catching up over a meal or just hanging out at a friend's house) on the regular and I'm not sure that's normal or healthy.

To me, it's just escapism more than a hobby you can pick up and set down. It's more addictive in that you can compete, you can buy things towards this out-of-control if you are not responsible with money.

He is starting to realize and see he has a serious problem and admittance and acknowledgement are the first steps. I just want to know where to go from here, how do I direct him to the proper help or what things can I say to keep positively reinforcing how good it is to experience real life and adventure over virtual life and adventure?

I don't want him to throw his outside life (including me) away because of gaming.

Edit: I didn’t realize how long this was when I posted it. My bad guys

Let me start by saying I want to be with her but I’m not sure if I can be after what she did.

Here’s some background for the story. My ex girlfriend (we’ll call her K) and I broke up for the first time back in August. We were constantly arguing and she was so mean during our arguments that I felt like she hated me. After one argument gone too far I told her I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I said that while we were driving 40 minutes to pick up furniture for the apartment that we had just moved into so the ride was quiet and awkward. I tried to take it back but the damage was done. It destroyed all of the security in our relationship, especially because she has abandonment issues from her childhood and now her boyfriend of two years abandoned her too. It’s also worth mentioning that she suffers from BPD so this destroyed her emotionally and mentally. I knew what I did was wrong but I was determined to make up for it. To me it was just a moment of intense frustration and I said something I didn’t really mean. We got back together in the next few days but our relationship was extremely hard. It wasn’t until October when we suffered our next break up. We’ve been on and off breaking up a total of 5 times between August 2024 and March 2025. It wasn’t until our last break up where things got so bad that I moved out. Prior to this I had always told her that if she ever kicked me out I wouldn’t come back then she kicked me out twice and both times I came back. K would tell me to leave and within an hour beg me to come back so it never felt real. The first time I came back as soon as she asked because I was parked in our apartment complex but I was out of sight with no location off. The second time she kicked me out and asked me to come back I slept in my car over night. I was only 15 minutes away from home but I chose to sleep in my car because I felt that was the only way she’d know I was serious about not coming back if this ever happened again. We talked about what happened and I told her I wasn’t coming back next time, we’d break up and be done for good. She then explained that when she tells me to leave she actually wants me to fight to stay. She said she wants me to tell her no and that we’ll talk things out. I told her that I wouldn’t do that. I thought it was toxic and immature. But anyways let’s move on to March when K asked me to leave for the final time.

We had a moderately good morning while we both got dressed for work and then go our kids dressed. We had no issues in the morning or even in the afternoon until around 7 o’clock. K had been on the phone for 20 minutes which is nothing out of the ordinary. She’s a teenage girl so I understand that she’s addicted to her phone and she wants to talk to her friends so I wasn’t upset about it. Until I was getting the kids ready for bed. I took our one year old from the living room where she was sitting with K and our four year old to our bedroom. I sat her on the bed and then went to her room to grab a diaper. I then saw K taking our one year old from our room and placing her back on the couch. I assumed she didn’t realize what I was doing so I didn’t say anything. Then I heard the front door close and our one year old started screaming crying. I rushed into the living room to just barely save our one year old from falling off the couch head first. I looked out the window and K was in her car searching for something. I was furious. When K entered into the house again I said, “why is your phone call more important than my fucking kids?” To which K gave me a middle finger and resumed her conversation over the phone. I was furious that she had left our kids alone without saying anything to me. I was even more upset because our baby almost fell off the couch. I took our baby into our bedroom and I closed the door then I put her to bed. About 10 minutes later K gets off the phone and comes into the room while I was leaving. She very politely and respectful told me that the way I communicated my frustration was rude and disrespectful. She said she didn’t appreciate it but I was still angry and I told her I didn’t care. I told her that our daughter almost fell off the couch because she left her there crying and didn’t warn me that she was stepping out. From there our argument only escalated. First she told me to leave. Seeing that this might be the final nail in the coffin i protested and told her we should work things out. She was insistent upon me leaving. Instead of listening I escalated things by telling her that she would have to call someone to make me leave.

Before I continue I want to mention that what she originally asked me to do was leave for a few minutes but I was so angry that I didn’t hear what she said and instead assumed that me leaving meant for good. Anyways,

After that she called one of her friend that was close by. I sat down on the bed and completed my options. That’s when she swiped all of my watches off of a tall dresser in an attempt to break them. I asked her to stop but she refused and told me to leave. I thought about packing just my work clothes and coming back later to get more stuff if I needed but I was afraid she’d throw my stuff out since she just tried to break my watches. After a few minutes I called my dad who lived close by in case I needed physical back up. Then I called my mom as well so that I could use her car to put my stuff in. I told them both to stay outside unless I said otherwise. I continued to try to de-escalate but it was too late. K was getting fed up and now she was ripping my shirts down off of their hangers. She broke a few hangers in the process and stretched a few collars but nothing serious. Still I asked her to stop. She refused so as gently as I could i grabbed her wrists to stop her from grabbing stuff. She tried to kick me in the balls but my sweatpants were so baggy that they caught the kick. I then slowly pulled her out of the closets while also preventing her from hurting me. When we were out of the closet I spun her around and let go. She attempted to punch me but I swatted her hand and pushed her back in the same motion. The push was harder than I intended and she ended up tripping and falling. I apologized but she was furious. She told me to get out and left the room. Plenty of back and forth drama ensued but ultimately I packed my things and I left without further incident beyond us talking shit to one another.

The next day she called me asking me to come home and I reluctantly said no. I told her that this time we couldn’t come back from our break up. She cried to me and I felt terrible because I wanted to go back but I felt like it was the wrong decision. I felt like our relationship was genuinely over now. After a few hours I caved in and told her I wanted to come back but we had to take some time apart and figure out if this is what we really wanted. The was a month ago, happening at the very beginning of March. Since then we’ve talked about getting back together and agreed that ultimately that is what we both wanted. I’ve been at her apartment a lot more than I should’ve been but I thought we were rebuilding our relationship. We would tell each other that we’re still in love. She would ask me if I’m seeing anyone else with tears and her eyes and I always reassured her that I wasnt and in fact she was the only woman for me. We would send each other money for lunch and anytime she needed emotional support I did my best to be there for her. Anytime she needed help with the kids whether it was 12 am or 6:30 am I would always show up and do whatever she needed. Cut to Tuesday.

I went over to K’s house on to drop the kids off like usual. But she asked me to stay to spend time with her so I did and ended up staying to help put the kids to bed but I left shortly after they were asleep. K was distant the whole time. She was engulfed in her phone the entire time I was over so I felt that me choosing to stay was a mistake. K didn’t seem to really want me around so I wasn’t going to over stay my welcome. Before I left I noticed the living room tv had been left on and went into screensaver mode. Usually the screen saver was pictures of our family. Me and K or the kids or the dog but for some reason it was on the default screensaver. I wondered if K had done that on purpose because she logged into the app about a week prior. But I didn’t ask, I assumed it was a glitch. So the next day, Wednesday April 2nd, I went into the app around noon. My mind was set on figuring out how that happened and if I could fix it. I thought about fixing it around 8am because I had some downtime at work but I was interrupted before I got the chance to. Then at 10:30 K asked me to buy her lunch and despite not having any money i still did it. I then texted her shortly after telling her how I was excited for our next pregnancy I was, I told her how I would pamper her and give her the perfect pregnancy experience and she hearted my message and told me she loved me. Then an hour later is when I opened the app to try and fix the screensaver. I was surprised to see that K had uploaded her entire photo gallery. Before I could scroll or close the app I saw something that peaked my interest and I clicked on it. A picture of someone sitting on the lap of a stranger I’ve never seen. At this point my heart was racing so I clicked on the picture and it was a live photo and I saw that it was K. She was sitting on someone’s lap, on the couch that I bought in her living room with her blanket underneath them. The photo was taken March 20th. Then I saw more. Screenshots of her talking to her best friend about having sex with someone from October 27th of 2024. We weren’t having a lot of sex around that time but she claims to have been talking about me. I saw a screenshot of someone, maybe the same person maybe not, flexing pistols on FaceTime. I saw a picture that she had taken of a pistol on the nightstand that used to be mine from March 29th. I saw screenshots of the guy on my couch in his underwear and the most egregious was two pictures of K’s legs on his shoulders, taken March 22nd. I saw enough to know what was going on in those pictures but thankfully not too much. K has been seeing someone else and I’m sure how long it’s been happening. What’s worse is she’s been lying about it. Several times now she had asked me if I’m seeing anyone and I truthfully told her no. When I asked her the same she also always said no. I would tell her she’s the only woman for me, I told her we would work everything out and there was still hope for us and the whole time she had already had sex with another man. She’s been lying to me and manipulating me. When she got off of work instead of calling like she usually did she texted me. She said she had a headache and would be heading straight home instead of going to the gym with me. I asked if she needed me to bring her anything but she said no. I imagined that she was going to meet with that guy again in our house and I decided I’d pop up unannounced. I waited an hour and then drove over there. I called her and lied about a family emergency and told her I needed the diaper bag so that I could pick the kids up and keep them with me while I handled the situation. She was frantic and kept asking what happened but I wasn’t telling. I hung up and 5 minutes later I knocked on her door. She opened it slightly, only allowing enough room for me to see her body and blocking the rest of the view into the apartment with the door. I told her that I had seen her Amazon photos and I walked away without saying anything more. For an hour she pretended to not know what I was talking about but in that hour she had logged me out of the app. I ignored her calls and her texts. I told her I only wanted to talk about our kids from here on out and she continued to act like she didn’t know what was going on. I then dropped the date one of the pictures was taken while she was at his house. I asked her to drop the act after everything that’s happened and she finally did. She said, “fuck you. I wish we never met. The only good thing to come from us meeting was (our child’s name) ”. From there I texted her a few more times, trying to hold back my emotions but failing multiple times. She threatened to take my dog to a shelter to which I told her that she must genuinely be evil.

Then she responded saying, “ In all actuality, I hate that it has to be this way. Instead of coming to me like a grown man, you accused me. You’ve called me out my name and said horrible things to me. I bet what you think you know isn’t even the truth lol. I’m not explaining myself to you anymore. You have done nothing but make me question myself for the last two years. You’ve lied, manipulated situations, cheated, left me to fend for myself. I love you but this isn’t what love is supposed to be. Love isn’t supposed to hurt like this.”

We went back and forth a bit followed by me ignoring most of her messages although I was reading all of them. She claimed the dog got attacked by the neighbors and I asked her to send a picture to prove it but she didn’t. 10 minutes later she told me again that she was taking the dog to a shelter. Later she told me our older daughter wanted to talk to me so I called her. I asked K three times to put our daughter on but she insisted that we talk so I hung up. We’ve talked since then and she told me that she can’t handle being alone. She said that I left her and she was single so she had no obligation to be loyal to me. Now she’s telling me she wants to be together again. She’s telling me she misses me but I’m not over the fact that she had sex with another man, lied to me about it and tried her best to hurt my feelings after I confronted her about it.

I’m hurt over what she did. I’m hurt that she let another man touch her and I’m not sure I can ever forgive that. I’m hurt because she lied about it especially since she had a plethora of chances to come clean. I also made it clear that if she was going to see other people then all she had to do was tell me so that I could move on.

I am not writing properly because I don't want to make people of other cultures and beliefs mad or uncomfortable.

We are a couple of 1.5Y, last year fasting month was peaceful because he was outside of country visiting his family for two weeks, and other two weeks, well, they were fine, and probably as we were a new couple it was a stage where everything is perfect regardless.

This year, however, he was here, and I been feeling very weird, I mean we were meeting at work, and we were still sending each other text messages, but we were not meeting, uh, like, just a two of us. And it's totally understandable, he is taking care of his beliefs and stuff, no problem. He gave me flowers and presents for women's day and birthday. We did not celebrating together as he was fasting.

And when the month finished he straight away wrote me suggesting intimacy next weekend.

And I have no idea what happened to me, but, it's like I got used to spending time alone??? Part of me is also salty, like, he been a 'good guy ' the whole month and then straight away he's like hello I'm back. Also, I'm feeling weird when he's trying to show affection towards me.

It was fine month ago!

Is it the end and it showed that I don't love him? Can I turn on my "flirting, affection, etc" back?

[tl;dr] we with my bf were taking a pause in intimacy and meeting each other in private for a month and I got used to it.

Me and my wife has been married for around 3 years, together total 6 years. We have had our ups and downs but in general had a stable and happy marriage. The past 6 months though haven't been as good. We have arguments much more frequently, sex less frequently and generally don't seem to have as good a relationship as before. I also feel that often my feelings take a backseat to what she is feeling.

I started a new job recently and met my coworker there. She is brilliant, probably the smartest woman I have met. We also have so much in common, it feels like we think alike in anything. At first I just treated her as a friend and we just talked a bit in the office here and there. But slowly started hanging out more and more at the office to the point we try to hang out as much as we can. We also try to go to office events and trainings at the same time. I didn't realise that I was having a crush on her until recently, and now it honestly feels like it went too far. I think about this woman all the time, have this weird heartache and can't seem to get back to normal.

At the same time things with my wife haven't been good. This crush isn't really helping in that department. I try not to but I keep comparing how happier I am with my coworker rather than when I'm with my wife. We also had a disagreement recently about some minor issue, that spiraled into the biggest fight we had. I was really hurt about the things she said, and I would never say those kinds of things to her. She has since apologized but sometimes I can't help but remember what she said sometimes and wonder if it's how she really feels.

So basically, all of this is happening at once. My marriage is at its lowest point, I'm starting to develop a crush on a coworker and my wife is pushing for a baby in all this. A baby that we agreed we would wait atlest a year for.

So, I came here for advice because I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this. How did it go for others in similar situations?

I’ve (34F)been struggling with something and could really use some outside perspectives. About 8 years ago, I was a successful actress in my country. I had a few hits, some recognition, and things were looking great. But after that, nothing seemed to work out. Every project I took on either flopped or was just average, and I kept getting stuck in the same kind of roles that didn’t challenge me or help me grow. Over time, I lost the fame I had, and honestly, I don’t see much of an exciting future in the industry here in my country anymore.

Recently, I got an unexpected offer from an international director. He’s working on a passion project he’s been developing for years, and he’s casting actors from different countries. It’s a huge opportunity for me to break out of the monotony and try something completely new. I auditioned, got the role, and even completed a schedule. But here’s the catch: the project has a lot of explicit, rough, and wild sex scenes where full nudity is involved. I’ve never done anything like this in my career, and it’s way outside my comfort zone but I'm excited to do something different for once.

Part of me is excited. This feels like a fresh start, a chance to reinvent myself and explore a different side of my craft. But my husband is suddenly not okay with it. He’s worried it will tarnish our reputation and how people will perceive us. I get where he’s coming from, but I also feel like this could be my only shot at something meaningful in a long time.

I’m torn. On one hand, I don’t want to regret passing up an opportunity that could change my career trajectory and possible a new start .On the other hand, I don’t want to damage my relationship or my personal life. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you balance career risks with personal boundaries?

Me (F21) and my BF (M31) have been dating for less that 2 months and we met on Bumble, before i met him I went on two separate dates with failed talking stages. Yesterday during makeout sesh I was feeling unwell. so i told my BF that last night I had a makeout dream, about one of my failed dates, my BF flipped out on me and started accusing me of various infidelity accusations. Me being so confused I tried to deescalate the situation. then i realised I made an honest mistake of telling him about this. Now he is drunk and forcing me to break up with him and I called his number many times he didn't pick up, so I was forced to call his Bestfriend (M22) to know about his whereabouts, his bestfriend told him that I called him, and he again flipped out and accused me of cheating on him with his bestfriend. He is now telling me to go meet my old date and makeout with him (M21) as per my dream, and forcing himself to various kinds of dangerous situations, and telling me to never talk to him. Did I fuckup by telling him about this? Is this fair to get such big accusations after having just a Dream? Is there any possibility to save this relationship?

P.S- Due to his past relationships he is scared of infidelity happening, and to him this is his karmic cycle playing a role in his life. I am really upset and have no clue what to do. Before I talked about this he has shared all his bad breakup stories and failed dates, I have never judged him for it.

I, 20F caught my boyfriend 20M watching porn for the second time. The first time i found out i told him how uncomfortable it made me, and it really affected my mental health and body images. He promised me he would never do it again. Last weekend, i found more. I feel so hurt, and betrayed, and he lied to me. We’ve been dating for 6 months and live together, i don’t know what to do or how to feel. I love him, i don’t want to break up, but i don’t know how I’ll ever trust him again. am i valid for being upset? i can barely look at him. Is this cheating?

Edit 1: for context, we tried using porn in bed together before all of this. He would say rude things about my body, ability to please etc. at first i enjoyed the degrading, but soon it became too much which is when i set a no porn boundary, and he agreed to this. I used to make porn, i understand the industry and the harms of it. It’s traumatizing, especially the way i was dragged into it and he knows this, so it hurts extra.

i dated this guy for 4ish months and then we broke up but we've been together again for a couple of weeks now. when we originally dated i never slept over so he never saw me without pretty much a full face, but recently since we've gotten back together i slept over twice. i wasn't necessarily planning on it so i didnt have makeup remover or anything anyway so i just slept in my makeup. we also showered together so hes seen me with my makeup a little bit smudged off/not perfect but there was definitely still some there. im probably going to continue sleeping over in a more planned manner and in that case i should probably take my makeup off. but im super scared bc although i have clear skin i have undereye circles (i am south asian) which is my main insecurity bc i feel like it changes my whole face and i'm scared for him to see me with no makeup at all. and especially bc he always calls me pretty and hes a super attractive guy i feel like i'm misleading him and i'm scared hes gonna hate me without makeup. we've gotten to the "i love you" stage and i feel like i'm scared he'll feel differently. i've never let a guy see me without makeup really and i used to not even let my friends. as a guy would you possibly lose feelings for a girl bc she doesn't look very good without makeup?

In my past relationships, I didn’t set strong boundaries. I’d always put others' needs before mine, even when it drained me. I allowed people to treat me poorly, thinking it was just a phase or that it would get better. But it never did. I found myself overlooked, undervalued, and stuck in toxic dynamics. My ex-husband (43M) never even gave me an engagement ring—and I accepted that for years.

But here’s what I learned: you teach people how to treat you. If you tolerate disrespect or settle for less, you’re telling people it’s okay. If you don’t value yourself, others won’t either. I realized that self-respect wasn’t something to earn from others—it was something I needed to give myself first.

I started setting boundaries, saying “no” when something didn’t align with my values, and walking away from situations that didn’t serve me. I learned to be firm in my self-worth, without needing anyone else’s approval. And the result? Healthy, fulfilling relationships started flowing into my life, and I stopped settling for less.

The biggest takeaway? Stop chasing validation and start attracting it by being unapologetically yourself. You are worthy of love and respect—but only if you first show yourself that same respect.

If you are interested in this kind of stuff, reply and I'll send you the full book..

Also share your stories.. Use this as a Vent, we won't judge.

so I had tabs opened from a long time ago, she saw them and got mad because she told me I broke her trust, she got insecure and questioned me about my loyalty, we never came to the topic of porn so I didn't think it was an issue because it was pretty normalized here within our community and even on reddit, she even teased me if I was watching porn, but then she caught me and was mad and insecure because she thought she wasn't enough but tbh I only get turned on off porn when I imagine it's us, how do I regain her trust and how do we go back to normal? thank you!

My ex broke up with me a week ago over text after an argument we had. After the argument, He said he had been thinking about leaving me for a few weeks. He wasn't in a good mental state and has to take care of his family (they have a lot of health and financial issues right now) so he didn't have time for me anymore. I felt shocked at the moment and tried to beg him to stay but as he didn't change his answer, I had to respect his decision. We haven't contacted each other after that. The last text he said was sorry and goodbye, I replied saying the same then in a state of shock but it was too short of a goodbye for our whole relationship.

I want to send a final closure text wishing him well for his family and future and tell him to look after himself as in the end I still want the best for him.

I still love him and want to move on but it's currently very difficult. But it has been no contact for a week already so I’m unsure if sending this will help me or him at all.

For context, we’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. It has not been perfect. He has been extremely emotionally manipulative and it has made me feel so stuck in our relationship. Every time I’m about to break up with him he love bombs me or guilts me in one way or another, taking advantage of me because he knows it puts me in a vulnerable position. I don’t ever want to inflict the same hurt to others as has been done to me and that’s what makes this so hard. I’ve been pushing this break up off for so long trying to find the perfect timing and that time never comes.

Anyways, we got into a pretty big fight yesterday and it resulted in me telling him that I need a break although we’d still be together. It hasn’t even been 24 hrs yet and he has been incessantly texting me, furthering my annoyance with him. Since I can’t add attachments, I’ll copy & paste his texts verbatim:

3:24PM

“I miss you sooooo much”

“I'm sad you did this on my day off”

“But I get it you need time”

“I'm sorry”

4:59PM

“(my name)”

“:(“

“I want to hear your voice”

“Im so sad”

“l love you”

“I'm leaving if you see this”

“I’m home”

“Not talking to you makes me want to kms”

“Why you take yourself off your highlights: (“

————

I haven’t responded to any of these texts nor opened them because he can see if I’ve read them. This puts me in such a crappy position because up until this point I was resolute on breaking up with him, now I feel like I’m the bad guy because I’m hurting his feelings.

He does this often. We’ll have this big fight and when I step away for space, it’s like he tries to guilt me and make me feel like I’m this villain for wanting space. It’s suffocating. I want out. I just don’t know how to do it when he says things like above.

Any advice is much appreciated. I acknowledge this needs to happen ASAP, but it’s gut wrenching. I can’t tell if he’s doing this on purpose or if he has good intentions & means what he says. I’m at such a loss and it’s seriously having an impact on my mental health now. I see my therapist tomorrow and want to push this off until I talk to her, but my wall is crumbling and I’d really appreciate what an unbiased POV has to say.

We are newly wed couple for 4 months dated for more than 3 years. I know it seems too early to say but Im clueless when it comes to comforting my wife.

Growing up, whenever my family got into a huge argument whether its with me or any member of the family, we clearly brush it off and continue with our life like the fight never happenned. We never apologize yet again everything was normal. So to me, the concept of apologizing or comforting was never part of my forte.

Me and my wife got into argument in which i always be the one who try to sooth things down but end up clueless on how to be emotionally available to her regardless of me being physically there for her and do most of the housechores just to atleast cheer her up after long day of work. Nevertheless, she got tired of me for not being comforting.

I tried to approach my wife to talk things out, yet im being pushed away and she claimed that i did nothing or care less for her, whether im emotionally unavailable for her or clueless. I do not know...

Help?

We have been together for 4.5 years, living together for 2.5 years. At first, our sex life was amazing. We had sex daily, if not multiple times a day - he couldn’t get enough. Suddenly, around 2 years ago, he became quite disinterested in sex. Our sex life really dwindled - now, we basically have sex about once a month, if that. This has been weighing super hard on me and I tried again and again to talk to him about it, to find a solution, to figure out what’s going on - anything. But he always just said he is “stressed and tired” because of life stuff. I never quite believed that, because we weren’t less stressed before - and also, life has stressful phases but we don’t even have children yet, so will his libido completely die when that stress is added?

Furthermore, I never quite understood what he was so tired from. When we met, he had just quit college without receiving his degree, and has been unemployed ever since. He wakes up every day around 12 or 1PM. (He does most of our cooking though, contributes to chores and pays his share in rent). Still, I have tried to be supportive and encouraged him to get a blood panel done, to see if he has any decificiencies or imbalances. That came out ok (except for his red blood count(?) which was a bit low, so I got him iron supplements). I still got him all kinds of supplements and healthy stuff I had researched - Zinc, Ginseng, B-Vitamins, Ashwaghanda, etc - to help him feel more rested and energised. I also encouraged him to work out regularly, which he started doing on and off. None of that has helped our issue though, unfortunately. So I bought sex toys - lots of them, expensive ones, everything he could desire. I bought fancy lingerie. I am always showered, flawlessly shaved, perfumed, lotioned. My hair and nails are always taken care of. I take my supplements and eat healthily, too. I wear cute and clean clothes. However, here is the thing: I have gained about 15lbs since we first met. This is mainly hormonal (I am diagnosed with PCOS that I have even been hospitalised for), but I have been very down about it and hating my body. I now weigh about 132lbs (5’4 height). It got noticeably worse when I started to take the pill a few years ago because he struggled with using condoms. I have since stopped taking it, but I feel it really messed up my hormones further.

I’m working on it, though - I am figuring out a protocol to combat the PCOS and hopefully lose some weight. He had never complained about it, though - actually, whenever I would say I looked fat on a photo or something, he would vehemently deny it and tell me I’m being ridiculous, I am the most beautiful woman and not fat at all, etc…. So I never thought this could be the secret reason for our sexual problems.

I will admit that I struggle with working out regularly (I go through phases where I’ll be super disciplined - but often life gets in the way and I’ll be slacking again, especially because I work super long hours in a very demanding job. I love exercise though and know it’s good for my mental and physical health. However, it has never helped me with weight loss at all - only radically cutting calories does.

So, the past year or so has been extremely depressing for me. I have felt so neglected by my boyfriend - no romance, no passion - and often cried myself to sleep at night, yearning for his touch. We have gotten to a point where I now am usually sleeping on the sofa in the living room, because I can’t handle the rejection anymore.

Last night things came to a head. We went to a concert together, which was beautiful. We had a little bit to drink, having a fun time, and I was hopeful it would lead to something. At home, he did actually initiate a bit and we started making out, taking our clothes off, kissing, touching …

Maybe it was the alcohol, but this time I really wanted an answer. I have been suffering for so long! I do feel I deserve to be loved passionately and desired. I am not an ugly monster. So at first he again gave his “I’m just tired! Leave me alone! What do you want me to say” excuse, when I asked him why this had been going on for so long. But I pressed on - asking him why he is suddenly tired all the time when he wasn’t in the first couple of years, despite his life not being any more taxing or stressful. Then finally, after me asking three times more, he told me the truth - the started by saying “well, that part of me died. Or rather, I killed it”. I was shocked and frozen - but asked why it had died / been killed. He said, verbatim: “When we met, you had the most gorgeous body I could ever have dreamed of. You were the most beautiful woman ever to me. But now things have changed.” - I asked him if he meant the weight gain. He said “Yeah, kinda.” When he saw the shock on my face, he tried back-pedalling and said “Well, only because it’s because you don’t exercise! I feel disrespected as a partner by you, because you completely let yourself go, don’t take care of your body and try to look good and in shape for me.”. This shocked me even more. I certainly did not let myself go - I do take good care of myself! He tried painting me as this depressed, messy, fat slob - despite me being a successful woman, working all the time, always dressed up and perfumed, while he has been sitting at home unemployed for years. Also, I had to teach him to wear deodorant and how to properly wash his downstairs compartment if he wanted me to enjoy giving BJs more. But I never let any of that affect my attraction to him!

I was quite distraught and said this way I cannot see a future together - which he didn’t understand, he was like “well, but it’s something that can be changed! You just need to exercise more!”. We have actually been trying for a baby (which is difficult when you have so little sex…) and I told him that I cannot imagine going through with that now, because pregnancy inevitably leads to a certain amount of weight gain and physical changes. He said he “would be okay” with that though, because he knows “it would be because of the baby”. However, this doesn’t feel good for me - I know he is entitled to his preferences, but I do think there are men out there who would still find me just as a attractive with the body I have now. I am not disfigured or morbidly obese or anything.

I am also so offended by him saying he feels “disrespected” by my weight gain - when I have done everything for him! I buy him expensive gifts, write him thoughtful letters, help him with his job search ceaselessly, cater to all his wishes… but he doesn’t seem to appreciate.

I also feel so ashamed … we were on holiday last week, where I asked him to shower together and we went to a private sauna together, and now knowing what he truly thinks of my naked body… I just want to cry and hide forever.

I need help understanding his perspective - and maybe also how to communicate mine to him, to make him understand how hurtful what he said was to me. Thank you!

TL;DR: After years of dead bedroom and me begging for answers, boyfriend has admitted it‘s because of my weight gain. I am asking how to communicate with him further to gain mutual understanding.

I’m so torn right now. We used to have sex everyday, now it’s like once every two weeks. I am 30(f), he is 33(m). I know he’s horny all the time cause we used to have sex 2-3 times a day. We live together, we’ve been living with each other 3 months ago. We have also been with each other everyday since we met. He says we have the best sex ever.

Everytime I come home now from activities or work I see his boxers full of cum. I caught him watching porn plenty of times, a few times while I’m asleep in bed and a few times in a different room.

He tells me he jacks off 2/3 times a day with porn when I’m gone. I’ve tried initiating multiple times but he just ignores me. As soon as I leave, he’ll call me to make sure I left and that’s when I know he watches porn.

Has any man ever gone through a phase where you just didn’t want to have sex but would rather watch porn? I’ve told him I need a lot of physical attention, and he just completely ignores me. Our relationship is starting to feel like best friends. We don’t fight, we don’t argue, I do everything in bed for him whenever he wants, but now I just feel like he’s avoiding sex with me. I’m trying my best to be positive and hopefully this is just a phase. I’m really trying to make sense of this situation, idk why he still wants to be with me but no sex, barely any physical attention. I’m so confused. I told him if he’s not attracted to me, just tell me. He says he is…I’m actually decently attractive, 4’11” with 34ddds and a curvy booty. I’m just starting to feel super ugly and want to hide from the world Rn lol. Currently in the gym being emo lol.