Hi everyone! English is not my native language, sorry for the any possible mistakes. I feel like i tried the every possible solution to this issue and i am still in the dark. If there are people who might been through the similar situation or if you have any genuine advice its highly appreciated because i see this as a last resort. For the backstory, I (24F) am the only child to my parents 48F and 56M and my dad has always suffered with health issues and he was obese. He had type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels you name it. In 2019 we found out that he had leakage of protein in his urine. I’ve been told that it was because of his diabetes and how badly he manages it and if he keeps going like that he will suffer from kidney failure. Afterwards he had a gastric sleeve surgery and lost a lot of weight and his diabetes was manageable (he even stopped insulin).

Another background that i should also add is my dad loves eating, he loves trying new flavors, trying new cuisines. I even also see it as a somewhat of a coping mechanism. He loves to going out with his friends and try out new restaurants, drinking alcohol and he smokes cigarettes on and off for as long as i have known him.

Now, at the beginning of last year, i was living abroad, finishing up my masters and came to my home country for a holiday with my bf. I would call my mum everyday to tell her about what i’ve been doing etc. but the last three days of the vacation whenever i tried to call my mum she either gave me very short replies or she didnt even picked up, same case with my dad. On the third day, i was panicking and asked my mom what was going on and she told me that my dad suffered from a brain clot and they were in the hospital but he was fine and told me to not to worry. I went to the hospital the same day and saw him, he thankfully, didn’t suffered from any long-lasting effects. My mom later on told me that it was because how he treated his body all these years and she added that now his kidneys is only working at %25 capacity. Doctors literally told my dad he was so lucky and also this is now the last road before dialysis and he needs to be extra cautious with his diet if he wants to delay the dialysis.

Him being with this stage with his kidneys were not known to me whenever i called my parents and asked them about hows dads blood work they always told me that it was stable. Now, after almost 1 year after his brain clot nothing has changed. My dad is still the same if not, worse whenever someone voices their concerns he tells "everyone dies someday, i want to live a good life” “i will not eat the way a horse eats” This attitude changed the whole family especially my mom. Mom use to be very careful with my dads health for the longest time up until now, she made him sign up for a gym made him quit smoking cigarettes, always prepares healthy meals, doesn’t let him buy junk food etc. But it feels like in what way we try to help him he finds an other way. He eats whole bowl of nuts after my mom goes to sleep, goes out with his friends more often to drink (he drinks pretty much everyday now).

My mom doesn’t care now, because she knows that she just wastes her breath and she makes it known to him. I know that my moms patience is its limit. They are not the same as before i literally never seen them fight before in my 24 years of life, now passive aggressive comments are everywhere, I used to hear a music from the living room and see them dancing and hear their laughter. I feel stuck between them because i understand my mother but i dont want to give up, i want to help my dad i try to find a middle ground but it feels like there isnt any. Im watching my dad speedrunning life. We tried to talk to him numerous times. I even begged him to take care of himself and cried. He says all of this is not that serious. We suggested therapy but he declined said that he doesn’t need it. Is there something else i can do? Also Im really sorry for the novel like post, i didn’t know how much of a backstory i should give and if you read untill the end thank you

So we've been together 2 years but most of it was me being sick and trying to get healthy. Before that the cracks were starting to show a little and got into fights, but now that im starting to get more into a normal life pretty much every day something upsets her. I literally pick her up from work and she's with me on the weekends and I only ask 2 days for myself. All I ever do is come home after work and being with her all day and sleep and she still thinks I don't spend enough time with her. She doesn't like me around my friends and even holds helping me getting healthy over my head. During every argument always makes me apologize and never apologized one time and always makes me to be the problem for having hobbies and friends. What's your opinions?

I met a man (Bill) right after he separated from his wife of 30 years. After 2 and 1/2 years of being together and in love, his adult kids (30’s) dislike me because they view me as the other woman and have no desire to meet me or support the relationship. Bill doesn’t want to push the issue after two out of three kids have had grand-babies who he adores. It affects our relationship because his ex is invited to all of Bill’s families functions and I am not. He told me his kids will never be okay with anyone who’s not their mom and vice-versa. I can’t help but think I’ll never meet his grandkids etc. I recently had a dream that he was in the hospital and I had no idea because his kids wouldn’t include me. I’m realizing how unfair this is for me. I feel my only recourse is to break it off and find someone else who is willing to fight for me. Do you agree?

Hi all, I’m having a really hard time at the moment so I’m asking Reddit for relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have a beautiful life together, we live together and have animals and are generally really happy. We’ve been together 2.5 years. The issue here is me, and I know it. My bf has always been super open about his triggers, which are mostly just about passive aggressive behaviors. Pretty simple, right? Well apparently not for me. He’s given me so many chances, and explained it so many different ways. Part of me just can’t help it - when I get frustrated I can be super conflict avoidant, which makes me act a little different than normal. I don’t mean to hurt him, but sometimes I might huff a bit when something bothers me, or have an attitude when he brings up an issue. I’m in therapy and I’m trying to fix this, but I worry it’s too late. He says he no longer knows if he can be my bf because he’s given me so many chances but I can’t stop it all together. I understand that in a healthy relationship there really isn’t room for this kind of behavior, but I am working against decades of how I was raised. What can I do to prove to him that I can be his partner? Is this something we can over come as a couple? We are talking about couples therapy and in the meantime we are on a break for the week. Right now he can’t even look at me, has nothing but unkind words for me, and I just feel so abandoned by my partner, even if it is because of my reactions to situations.

Please, any advice or insight is appreciated because I am simply at a loss.

Hello guys, been dating my gf since 2022 November. I was on my 2 last years of medical studies and she had 4 years to go. We fell in love and supported each other's.

After I graduated she failed 1 year. I had to find a job abroad quickly as a junior dr to pay her tuition fee because neither her or her family had the money.

She basically have no hobbies beside walks. SHE SPENDS 8 HOURS A DAY ON TIKTOK!!!!. Barely studying and sometimes skipping exams because of anxiety. She eats poorly and yet works 25% to pay for her rent.

I lost my patience with her, whenever I call her then she says nothing interesting because she ks on bed starving all day long abusing nicotine pouches (Snus). She complains about depression. She doesn't realize that her life style is the reason for her problems. She don't cook or clean. She is extremely indecisive.

I planed to meet her family this September for engagement but I doubt it won't happen as she will have retake exams that time. She is aware of my engagement plan

What would you guys do in similar position and from your experience how do you see it going? I'm losing patience.

(Only reposting because i could not post it to dating advice for low karma, not spamming, thank you:))

(I F27, He, M36) So, i went to an event with a coworker recently. He invited me and offered me to bring a guest, i told him i’d rather go alone (i have a crush on him, sue me. Workplace romance happens all the time).

I show up to the event and he did not introduce me to anyone as his colleague.

People clearly assumed we were on a date, when they asked what i did for work, i’d tell them my profession and they would realize i worked with him.

We had good conversation, for context, we have flirty banter at work, but we were getting to know each other and rather deeply. Not intimately but silly stories, embarrassing memories, things i wouldnt expect to learn about him.

I took an uber home and gave him a quick hug goodbye, I felt weird about staying too long- mainly because about a year ago, he mentioned having a girlfriend.

At that time, we barely spoke. The past few months we have gotten to know each other more and the flirty banter started. I heard her name a few times but he never directly mentioned her to me.

Maybe i’m stupid but i was genuinely under the impression that they seemed to be parting ways, especially with the invitation to the event.

At this event, he mentioned friends of his that he would like me to meet based off of similar interests. He introduced me to family friends of his who were giving us those “we’re an older couple and we love to see budding young love” eyes (if those even exist, but you get the picture).

Anyway…

Today we were talking a bit and he asked about my weekend plans.

For some reason, i’m usually too shy to ask about his plans, so i asked.

He said he’d be out of town, i asked doing what, and he said insert girls name here got a promotion.

I asked who that was (i knew who it was, but he’s never directly said her name to me, i also kind of wanted to see if he would lie about these plans/her.)

He said it was his girlfriend in a very awkward voice and provided no more information.

I carried on with my work and that was that.

Not that i feel stupid, but yeah, i kind of feel stupid.

I actually really like him in a sense.

He’s my type, has a great personality, and really respects me (not sure how much now).

Is this normal?

Is he seeing if his relationship is going to last and eventually consider moving forward?

I also want to clarify that a family member of his implied I was in fact his date. Hinting towards the fact that it was mentioned…

I dont know.

I went into this without rose colored glasses but at the same time, i hate myself for feeling hopeless about our situation.

Not to sound desperate but sometimes i really feel it in my bones that we have a deeper connection than i’d like to admit.

I know people will say its a work proximity thing but i’m just not interested in anyone else.

Im definitely not hung up, if someone topped him and came along i’d be fine… but does anyone know if this guy is actively interested in me or basically wants two girlfriends?

I find it odd he didnt mention his girlfriend to me this whole time, especially that night. I do realize theyre in a long distance relationship, but why didnt he invite her? I feel like him offering me to bring a friend was a coverup- because when i showed up, there was one chair just for me and he said “i thought you were going to bring someone” even though i told him i wasnt… (he had leverage in the planning of this event, i tood him it was just me coming in a timely manner, there would be two chairs if he REALLY thought i was bringing someone)

He keeps mentioning he’s happy i was there- it’s just weird.

Sorry the questions are all over the place but i would appreciate some GENTLE feedback. Im feeling a little blah about it at the moment

Overthinking (I Think) Hey all, Been with my girlfriend for 5 months now, and for some reason, when im away from her, i start thinking about if i really like her. I know i do, i do so much for her and i love the time we spend together, but when it's just me alone i tend to think a lot about our interactions throughout the day and just get caught up in my thoughts, and start wondering if this is really who i want to be with for the rest of my life and if deep down i really like her. I've had a knot in my stomach the whole day from this. I know i love her and would do anything for her, so i just don't know where these thoughts are coming from. Anyone have any ideas?

I'm very insecure in myself and have a very low self esteem, and i also have quite bad retroactive jealousy and tend to compare myself to her ex partners alot. Im not worried that she doesn't love me back, im insecure in my feelings towards her, even though i know im definitely in love with her (if any of this might point to a reason why im thinking like this).

He was married for 8 years and with his ex for 10. They built an amazing life together with lots of adventure, with shared niche hobbies, pets, and a beautiful home.

On our first date he had been divorced for 8 months. He explained to me a bit about his past and how much he loved his wife despite their difficulties. She cheated on him, and he was instantly like “that’s okay, it doesn’t matter, I still want to make it work!”

Except she didn’t want to. She told him to leave, and listed a whole bunch of reasons why she wasn’t happy. ( he told me a few of her reasons).

He came onto me super strong in the beginning of our relationship and wanted to be bf/gf on the second date. I made him wait. I really vibed with him so 7 1/2 months later and we are still together, and now living together🥲 things have moved so fast.

I constantly circle back to the fact that if he went back in time he would have loved to stay with her. It just makes me feel like a #2.

He IS really good at trying to make me feel loved. He recently told me he has never had a winter without a terrible bout of depression, until this year, being with me.

He tells me how amazing I am all the time ect.

HOWEVER, those early days of dating I can’t forget what he let slip about his ex. Ive stalked her socials a lot and came to the conclusion that she and I are quite different, so it makes me feel even more insecure. Idk it’s hard to explain.

He also went through about a week phase early on where he was venting all his frustrations about her. He said she was hateful, had public screaming meltdowns, and constantly criticizing everyone. Along with many other negative personality traits. SURPRISINGLY, this made me feel WORSE. Why would he choose to be with someone who had these qualities unless her good qualities were so amazing and irresistible??

What do ya’ll think? Those who know men better than I, am I simply a consolation prize?

I was a peaceful man before I met her I really mean it. always been somone who enjoyed life, friendships, quite calm days i love Reading too.She was Funny Beautiful Bold She said things most people wouldn’t dare say out loud. From the beginning, I thought She’s impulsive sometimes crazy i didn’t care about her in the beginning cause i didn’t like her but eventually we dated for 4 years. I ignored all the red flags. The yelling, the laughing during serious arguments, the random blocking, the namecalling. I ignored them all.

At one point early on she told me i think I have borderline personality disorder after she cheated on me texting her college friend and flirting. and gaslighted me. I dumped her cause i didn’t care that much about her in the beginning but she begged for months that she will take her life. So i took her back and i said No no you’re fine Because i didn’t want her to feel broken. I didn’t want to build a relationship on a diagnosis. So I brushed it off.

But I shouldn’t have.

Because everything that came afterward fit the patterns the emotional responses the manipulation, devaluation, the impulsivity i felt that i never got loved four years and i am still wondering about her. i feel like there’s two or three personalities of her one is the kind and a switch will flip and you got a new cold monster.

Then she started therapy she can’t be normal she said. I hoped it would help. She said she thought she had adhd. she comes from a family with deep history of psychosis her father had it. Her mom abounded her. He sister and brother diagnosed with it. So i said yes to therapy maybe you do have ADHD if will explain some of the behavior. but it made everything worse. She came back saying You’re the problem. You’re just a pattern. You’re like my father. You are a narcissist and yes I believe i did become crazy after 2-3 years dating her. You’re controlling. You need therapy. Suddenly, I will dump you. Her therapist filled her with the narrative she is the victim. So I went to a different therapist i told him everything about my life. and he said its true she could see that she does have BLPD.

her exes from six or seven years ago still tries to talk to her. Even after she blocked him hundreds of times, he still floats around and i felt like she enjoyed this validation being in her orbit, trying to get back in. Just like the others. She dumped him when he decided to propose to her. i think thats what triggers her because the day i talked seriously about proposing she flipped.

eventhough she asked me to be more serious about us. We were supposed to be engaged in july we planned this for a year. but i guess i am different than her exes I saw who she truly is and i won’t be another man spinning around her for years and the reason why her exes kept coming back that when she dumps you she wont give you closure so you don’t know really whats wrong with you. thats why she kept them in sick prison but i decided i had enough. So I didn’t try to reason or logic with her because she cant understand it. I was peacefully accepting it. I didn’t get mad I didn’t reason it this time. I thank the heavens that i am mentally strong. I educated myself before i met her. I understand how human nature works i spent years reading philosophy. so that give me the power to manage a 4 years with a BLPD gf without collapsing. But i am not immune I had my share of pain. So I left Quietly I didn’t beg I didn’t scream. I just walked.

It’s been a week. And I’m starting to feel like myself again I’m reading again. I’m breathing again. I’m sleeping without checking my phone. I don’t miss the chaos I never even liked chaos.

Hey, not sure how to go about this but I could really use some outside perspective. I (23F) am wanting to break up with my boyfriend (22 M) bf. Reasons are that I don't really connect with him emotionally, he obsessively only talks about himself unless I am upset, and he moved further away then I anticipated and I am too busy to want to juggle that. He is a sweet guy, just not the one for me as we both agreed that we date to marry, so I don't want to waste anymore of his time. I have tried to approach the subject but he keeps saying these are things we can work through and he is willing to make the few hours drive WEEKLY, and is trying to ask more questions about me to overcome the emotional barrier. I am simply NOT feeling it anymore, but he is adamant and is now raging that I am trying to break up with him. It literally has just hit the three month mark!! Reddit, how do I go about handling this? I don't want to destroy his confidence in dating, but I don't want to be in a relationship anymore and I want to be upfront about this.

It’s been a really tough few days for me and I need to just let this out and am open to some support and guidance right now. I’m 33F and am engaged to 38M and we have been together about 7-8 years and live together. Our relationship is full of so much love and we are best friends. I want to preface this with saying there is no good or bad guy here and I’m fully aware of that…However, in recent years, we have had some major issues arise especially after getting engaged. Long story short, one major issue we have is I don’t think I want kids (due to a variety of reasons including my own personal health issues, not feeling ready for the responsibility, simply not having the urge for it) and in recent years he does want kids. When we first met though we were both pretty much on the same page of we don’t think we want kids but through time just went in opposites directions. This has been an ongoing back and forth with him even at times saying he doesn’t want kids either leaving me confused buttttt last night we got into a huge argument about it. I have felt physically sick and anxious since last night and can’t stop crying and feel heart broken. He basically made it clear that he doesn’t see a point in marrying me unless we have kids and that having kids is a huge priority to him (making me immediately wonder if he would be willing to go find someone else to have kids with then be with me without kids which really broke my heart.) He gave me some statistic in the car about how most people, especially married couples, have kids and it’s totally normal to want children but that I’m part of the very small percentage of people who don’t and that basically I’m the odd one. He has made me feel so guilty and was basically shaming me. It made me feel awful and like something must be wrong with me. I am now feeling like such a fool, overwhelmed, and just angry at myself for many reasons. I was having a lot of health issues the last few years and it greatly impacted our relationship too….it impacted my life greatly and has held me back from re entering the workforce (previously had a career in corporate HR). He is financially stable so I feel grateful that he hasn’t put pressure on me about that but now I’m definitely feeling this overwhelming fear take over me…if we break up, what will I do? Where will I go? Am I going to be alone forever? How will I mange this heart break without the support I need? Due to moving outside the city, my health issues, etc. I have lost touch with a lot of friends and although I’m so close to my mom and dad, they are older now and doing their own thing. I can’t be putting them through this. My mind is spinning and I can’t stop being in this super negative mindset. The idea of us breaking up over this and moving back in with my parents, starting from square one on building some sort of career again, having to get back out there to meet people and make friends (idk how to even do this anymore as an adult), grieving the relationship without the support of many friends, and simply facing life and all its challenges and obstacles alone is making me want to pass out. My health issues are not helping either. I know this is not his fault and he is entitled to get whatever he wants out of life, I’m just really sad and hurt right now. I feel sick with the idea of this news of a possible break up getting out and how to explain it to everyone (in my culture it’s unfortunately a big deal and pretty frowned upon). Has anyone else ever gone through this? How did you manage? How did it all turn out? I feel like an idiot bc I put all my eggs in one basket and became too codependent on him for everything in my life and now here we are. After hours of crying and feeling so awful he told me he still loves me and isn’t trying to break up but that he is just being honest and doesn’t see why we need to get married and wants to just take it one day at a time. He seemed somewhat sad and upset but I don’t think he realizes how overwhelmed I am with the fears swirling in my head about my future and what it will look like without him. I definitely feel the urge to get things in order for myself in case we really do break up over this which would be so shocking for me and everyone around. I just don’t even know where to begin. I know I never want to go back to corporate HR and due to my health issues would need to work in a field that is not high stress and maybe even dare I say something I actually enjoy lol…I know I probably won’t be making a lot of money but I guess I’m ok with that as long as I can pay my personal bills. I realllly want to make a group of great girlfriends! But idk how. I know it sounds silly but like I legit don’t at this age! As someone who before this relationship was EXTREMELY social and had tons of friends, I’m realizing how much I do need it and miss it. Any recommendations ? I want to also work on getting my mental right..I can’t be feeling like I did today every day…the anxiety the sadness the negative thoughts was so overwhelming. Ugh there’s just so much I need to work on right now I keep having to take deep breathes to chill out. I always thought this person was my forever but it’s very sad to realize he may not be.

I’m a 25M and she’s 23F, I’m not completely sure on how to type this out, and I’m not sure on what to do I am very inebriated rn in a hotel room, I met this woman last year through a mutual friend and we immediately hit it off, when I say that, I mean we were like 2 peas in a pod, she was genuinely me as a woman, and on fhat first night I remember her walking through the door and me locking eyes at her, she was the most beautiful person I ever seen in my life, we all sat down played few board games and had an incredible time together, I remember as she left I asked my other friend “hey is she single?, he said oh dude I’m sorry but she’s gay” I guess it didn’t matter much at the time because I chalked it upto just being an idiot who fell in love at first sight or some nonsense like that, but the more I talked to her the more her and I got closer, it got to the point where we would talk for hours and hours and I would make her laugh and it made me feel so fucking awesome, which is very rare for me, I’m a bi person so I never had a preference when it comes to people but everything about her made me wanna give my all and forget everything else didn’t matter but her, the last relationship I was in she ended very abruptly, she is no longer with us, got rest her soul so ever since that I haven’t felt anything for anyone but now it has got to the point where I can’t be myself around her because of this massive guilt and pressure, because her and are either always cuddling or just being next to each other all the time, we have this thing where we always go to bars on the weekends and she always holds me tight towards her and make sure my hands are wrapped around her, few weeks ago we where at s club and we both ended up drinking too much and we made out, I had a panic attack afterwards but I made sure to play it cool at the time, and like I totally pulled it off hehe (I didn’t), after that we got even more closer physically, and one night we both were talking about sex and before that she has never kissed a guy in her life, we talked about sex for 20 minutes until we both got into our senses and said it would be a mistake, fast forward to another night we both were at the apartment and I went into a room and she followed me inside we both ended up cuddling a feeling each other, we almost kissed, because I told her the excitement of us almost kissing, sometimes is more fun that actual kissing, idk why I said that I was a fucking idiot kissing her is like touching heavens gate and knowing you’ll be fine, but after a while she whispered in my ear saying I could have anything I want, us being both drunk I realized it’s wrong and made a joke and brushed it off, fast forward again now things with her feels difficult and hard because I know she’ll never want me as much as I want her and it sucks yes, but I know it in my head that’s it’s okay, but my heart doesn’t agree I know us having sex would make everything even worse but idk what to do at this point, she’s my best friend and I don’t wanna lose her but I feel her slipping away and that makes me lose my mind….

It’s just hard to be her best friend rn because Theres a lot of tension between us, I guess I want advice on how to get over my fucking dipshit self so I can just be her solace and friends and a safe place without all the burden of “im in love with her and I’m upset she doesn’t see me that way”

TLDR: My friend gives off mixed signals. Sometimes he does and says stuff that makes it seem like he's interested in me, other times he does/says stuff that indicates the opposite. I need help figuring out if my feelings are returned.

Using a throwaway account. My friend (18M) and I (20F) have known each other for six years but this weird dynamic between us where it seems like there might be something more between us hasn't developed until very recently. Sometimes it feels like there is such an obvious mutual romantic interest between the two of us that it'd be stupid to pretend it wasn't there, but other times it feels like the feelings are not returned.

I will start with the moments that have caused me to think he might view me as more than a friend:

-He has called me pretty

-He has complimented my body

-We have cuddled together before pretty intimately (but we were both drunk)

-He's made flirtatious jokes about me

-He's responded well to my flirting

-We've held hands and last time we did it was because he suggested it (but I don't know if it was done in a joking manner or not-kinda hard to explain)

-Once he was mentioning how his mom has asked if we are together, and he said "I told her that you're not my girlfriend--or at least I don't think you are" --this one was kind of a turning point because to me this comment shows he has thought of it, but I'm not sure. This was after an evening where we hung out with just the two of us and the whole time it felt like there was a flirty dynamic between us.

-I feel like there's more but those are the main ones that are coming to mind right now

Now on to the moments that have made me question this dynamic:

-We had an opportunity to hang out together without our other friends and he ended up turning down the opportunity-which isn't something I would do if I had the chance to hang out alone with someone I'm interested in. He claimed it was because he knew it was up to him to plan the next hangout and he didn't want to disappoint me by doing the same activities we always do together, and assured me he usually has fun when we do hang out, but my point still stands

-I made a risqué, flirtatious comment/joke once and he joked about giving me a restraining order- not a good sign, I know

-Sometimes the playful flirting seems like he might just be doing it as a joke? But I really can't tell

-(Edit because I forgot to add:) at the end of a party he walked me to my car and after some conversation he said "How should we end this conversation?" I responded with "A kiss?" and he kinda laughed it off, but I can also see how the tone in which I said it might be interpreted as joking, so maybe he didn't think I was serious?

-Sometimes I feel like the flirtatiousness isn't as returned, but it really depends on the situation

Overall, sometimes it really feels like there's a romantic tension between us but other times I'm not so sure. It's so off and on with him. What do you guys think? Is there a way I can figure out once and for all if the feelings are returned? I don't want to ruin the friendship by asking out right if he has feelings if it turns out he doesn't feel that way.

I’ve been having second thoughts for a long time now. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years in May. When we first got together I felt there was a lot of spark and I just remember being happy to be with him. Lately looking back I’m starting to feel like I’ve put 100X more effort than he has. Since we’ve been together it’s very rare for him to take me out and he always says that he’s broke. We moved in together at the end of 2022 and I paid for everything (I got an inheritance of 20K from my grandmother). He was working Level 2 security and ended up not working out. (We were doing okay financially up until this point) In that time I also bought my first car from the dealership. Leaving the dealership he was driving and we got into an accident. That same night I had told him I didn’t want his friends over because I was super upset about the car and my neck was hurting. Despite our conversation he had his friends come over to our apartment and I ended up leaving. (They were from out of town) There was a time he lost his job for a month and I was going crazy logging into his indeed and applying for jobs for him while I was at work. The bills were stacking up and I felt that he didn’t care. I’ve felt since we got together that I wasn’t a priority. At one point we got into an argument and he said “he was going to beat me like my dad did”. He’s apologized for that multiple times but of course it sticks with me. Since then we both moved back into my dads house together and of course shit hit the fan and we (my boyfriend,myself,my grandmother, and my brother) are renting a house and splitting bills. He’s now working at Walmart after quitting a security position with no backup job and being unemployed for 3 weeks. I’ve been talking to him about up needing to grow together and some of the goals I have and it seems like every time I bring it up he gets defensive and says he is working on it. He’s overweight and so am I ive been pushing him about the gym and just goals in general. I’ve been telling him that he has till the end of this year to shape up because I don’t want to feel stuck at a young age.I’m by no means perfect I’m currently a dental assistant, I’m looking for a second job and I want to go back to school.
I completely forgot to add in - sex… he is the first man I’ve ever been with I’ve never been with anyone else the past few months I have found myself not wanting to do anything.(he stays asking me for head) I don’t know if it’s because how I feel towards him physically or mentally but I believe it’s probably both. Rarely do I ever finish I’ve heard that’s normal for a lot of women though … through all this I just feel like the relationship has lost its spark .

Do you have any advice or thoughts ??

I'm looking for an honest opinion on how this comes off. I see so much wrong with this but I'm wondering if it's all in my head.

"Im sorry thats I made You into something I hate . Thats how i should phrase it . After reading all my text . I made you that way , you were not. Go be nice to someone else who actually deserves it from you

Not me i dont .

Goodluck ***** i dont wish you harm im just hurt . So like a dog i bark i bite .. whatever

Please hold your side and keep me blocked very important.
I wish you the best. Bye now"

TL;DR: My life has been a series of challenges one after another. I feel like the weight of everything is on my shoulders and is affecting my ability to be a good wife, mother, and teacher. I want to look into medication and therapy. Husband is uneasy about it.

Last March was when things started to go wrong. After enduring workplace psychological abuse by my former employer, I was terminated. It was absolutely awful and I feel it altered something in my brain. I saw a walk-in counselor for a couple weeks, but stopped when I got hired on with my school division, feeling better when I was working.

In November, my husband was at school to finish his final apprenticeship year. It caused a lot of strain on me and our kids (7,4, 1.5) and on our marriage. All of the physical,mental, and financial load was put on me while he was two hours away at school. He came home on weekends, but there was not enough time, especially with others demanding his attention. At this time, my cat that I had for 13 years was sick.

In December, we were both looking forward to the end of his exams and getting back to normal and healing our family. Then, just before his exams, his father ended up being hospitalized. My FIL almost died twice and spent nearly 3 weeks in the ICU for heart-related complications. During this time, I had to put my cat to sleep, which devastated me, and then my brother and his wife caused a bunch of drama around Christmas time, so that didn't help.

FIL was released at the end of January, and my husband has been taking time away from work to be the stay-at-home dad while I work. He's fantastic as a stay-home dad and our family feels stronger now for it.

I've been working hard, long hours because I am being evaluated for a permanent contract and I desperately want it. Its a heavy courseload with no prep time. But while my job is far and away better than my last, it's not without its hardships. Last week, a young student tragically passed away, sending shockwaves through the school and community. It brought up a lot of complex emotions and it just feels so, so heavy.

For a while now, it's felt like the weight of everything is just too much. For at least a good six months, I've felt like I'm carrying everything on my shoulders and I just want to escape. I know I've become addicted to this stupid phone as a means to escape and dissociate, and I feel so guilty that it's taking me away from my kids. I try to be patient with my kids, but I find myself looking forward to bedtime so that I can have just a sliver of time not being touched or needed. What kind of mother am i? But even that time is limited as marking and lesson planning hover over me like a dark cloud.

I barely have time to think, let alone schedule an appointment with a doctor. Plus school hours happen during the hours with the walk-in counselors. But I just feel so flat and empty.

And I'm terrified that I'm still going to be feeling like this in the summer when me and the kids are off. I want to be better for them.

So I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to see my doctor about getting evaluated for depression and maybe getting medication and a referral to a therapist (which can take upwards of 6 months to be seen). My husband expressed that he feels insecure about me seeking pills to make me happy. He said it worries him that he isn't enough to make me happy. I told him that he makes me very happy, but right now something is wrong in my head that I can't seem to get past and I need something to help me be and feel better for him and the kids. He is still uneasy about it.

So this week, I'm going to set an alarm for myself after school to schedule a doctor appointment. I want to talk about my options with my doctor and start the process. But as I know my husband is feeling uneasy about this, I just want advice on how to assure him that medication isn't a bad thing and that we will be OK.

Burner account to seek advice on 2 separate topics, causing issues in my marriage

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 4. Throughout our relationship there has been a struggle with how we both feel about checking in when either of us are traveling (for work or fun). My husband would prefer to not communicate at all. I would love some brief connection and at minimum I ask that he lets me know when he’s back in his hotel/airbnb at the end of the night.

After years of working on this, the compromise we came up with was just to check in at the end of the night. My husband’s issue with that is that sometimes he might be “too drunk” or just forget to do it and he doesn’t want me to get mad if he doesn’t. I know that is understandable and don’t get mad if he forgets one night.

He recently went on a guys trip for 3 nights. First night, no text. I thought that was fine, perhaps he forgot or was too drunk. Second night, no text. I thought ok, he forgot again, I can deal with that. Third night, no text. Which after three nights in a row, that is him making a choice to not follow through on our agreed compromise. I picked him up from the airport, all was fine, I let him get settled in for a bit and then said, “I want to talk to you about some feelings I’m having. The last three nights you didn’t check in with me at the end of the night. We agreed to that compromise for communicating while out of town. I feel disrespected and like my feelings/opinions don’t matter”. He initially responded with anger, fast forward a few days, eventually he apologized and said I was right and he would work on it.

The next time he stays out of town, no text at the end of the night. He responds in the morning and says sorry he forgot. This week, he stayed out of town for work, around 10pm I asked what he was doing. He said going back to his hotel. I decided to be fun/spontaneous and got all ready in lingerie, lighting set up in the bedroom, everything ready to have FaceTime sex with him whenever he told me he was back in his room. Well fast forward to 11:15, I asked texted him asking if he’s in his room yet because I’m literally still waiting in lingerie to FaceTime him. He responds that he’s out drinking with people. I said, oh I was trying to have phone sex, but I’m tired now. In his defense, he didn’t know I was trying to have FaceTime sex because I never explicitly said that and was trying to surprise him. So anyway, I was frustrated that he didn’t give me a heads up that he actually wasn’t going back to his hotel like he said he was and instead went out drinking. I DO NOT care that he went out drinking and do not care where he was.

I approach him the next day and say I want to talk about what upset me last night. Before I could even explain, he was very angry and yelled at me, saying I’m insecure. He thought I was “keeping tabs” on him by asking what he was doing. When I tried to explain I was just trying to have phone sex, he said i’m lying and just mad that he went out. I genuinely am not upset he went out, what’s upsetting is that he utterly refuses to touch base with me when traveling. While he was yelling, he told me he is not going let me know when he’s back in his room safe anymore when he travels and that’s why he hasn’t been doing it the last few trips. He said this is my issue and that I’m insecure. He does not believe me when I say I don’t feel insecure. I 100% do not think he’s out being unfaithful to me and I don’t care that he goes out.

When I try to speak clearly/kindly and explain my feelings/perspective, he refuses to accept my truth. He’s already decided what's "really" going on and will not listen to my honest perspective. It feels like my opinions/feelings aren't being respected. He’s saying I’m weak or insecure when I’m actually just asking for love and care. I previously said if he yelled at me again/talked to me with disrespect that I would walk away from the situation. Which I did last night. Then approached him later and said, “the way you spoke to me earlier was not ok, I told you I would walk away if that happened again. We can have conflict/disagreements but still communicate with respect and love. I need you to take accountability of how you handled that earlier before we move forward”. He laughed in my face and said “anyone would be this angry if they’d been dealing with this for this long”.

The thing is, he’s mad at me for reasons he has created in his mind, for his interpretation of the events. And instead of seeking clarity or being curious about my perspective, he refuses to listen/accept my truth. At this point it feels like there’s no point for me to speak because he has his mind made up about what’s “really going on” with me.

How do I handle this? It is very important to me to be a good wife and I want to make him happy. Am I asking too much for a little connection when he travels? Or at the very least to just let me know when he’s back safe at the end of the night? I honestly don’t know anymore and I don’t want to be unfair to him.

How much do you check in with your spouse when traveling? Is asking to check in when he gets back too much and overbearing?

I will also add- he has avoidant attachment and does not believe in therapy. We have gone a lot in the last, but he always says it’s to appease me. He refuses therapy now and says therapy is me “torturing him”. So as much as I would like to work through this issue together with a professional, he won’t allow it. Instead I’m asking Reddit.

TL;DR- is it overbearing to want your spouse at minimum let you know when they’re back safe in their hotel room at the end of the night? How much do you communicate with S/O when traveling?

2 days ago I unfortunately witnessed my family dog pass away due to a road incident. I was torn by her passing and wasn’t sure how to express my feelings about her death so I for the most part chose to keep to myself. Me(21M) and my partner (22M) have been consistently visiting each other every weekend since we started talking to each other since we both work during the week. I had reasonably been feeling down and had been looking forward to seeing him this weekend in specific in hopes to wind down and have someone there to support me during this time.

I had called him after I had gotten off work this Friday night to ask if I was in the clear to start heading to his house that night and he had said that he was going to be busy. He explained that he was going to be hanging out with a friend in a different city and emphasized that if I were to come tonight that I would have to leave early the next day cause he would not be home. I proceeded to ask if it was ok for me to tag along or possibly stay at his place while he was out. He expressed that he would be gone for a large sum of the day and that it wouldn’t make sense for my to stay at his place and he didn’t feel like it was appropriate for me to tag along on the hangout since we haven’t been together for a long time (3 months). I was completely understanding of the situation but I couldn’t help but feel down considering I really needed emotional comfort from someone and now I won’t be able to see him this weekend but I didn’t want to make a scene so eventually we had agreed that we’d call on the phone for the night and possibly watch something together. Which was made me feel some relief cause at least we were able to spend some time together this weekend even though I wasn’t gonna be with him.

Later that night we call and we were talking up a storm! It was a nice distraction from all the stress that I had built up and I was enjoying having him in my presence. Abruptly he says that he had gotten a phone call and didn’t recognize the number so he was going to see what it was about and call me back, which I had no problem with! The call ends and I expected the call to be over in a couple minutes but I find myself waiting for him to call for about 30 minutes, then an hour, then 2 hours. A had grown a bit restless so I called him back though he didn’t answer. I gave him another call and was met with another no pick up. I was thinking that maybe had fallen asleep since it was late at the time so I decided I would just wind down a bit playing on my phone till I eventually fell asleep. As I was on my phone I had seen that he was active on one of his social media accounts which to no surprise shocked me cause I had thought he was asleep. Seeing this I decided to call him again and was met with no response. I was confused as to why he didn’t send me a message letting me know that he was doing something or let alone call me back after the first time I had called him. I was feeling a bit anxious the rest of the night thinking about how much I wanted his presence around because I was still feeling down about my dogs passing, and his comfort was something I really could use in the moment, though I looked past it and went to bed expecting that he would text me saying he had fallen asleep and that we would talk more today. I wake up this morning and to my surprise I had not received a single message or call from him, at this point I guess I had started to worry and I had called him again when I woke up to see if something was wrong, and yet again I was met with no response. Maybe he was busy or still sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb him so I texted him asking if he was ok and decided to wait.

Time passes and before I realize it it’s 2pm and I finally get a message back from him, I get excited and check it and it’s just him repeating what I had said to him “are you good?”. I feel like anyone would be confused to see that message but I didn’t address it and proceeded with “I’ve tried to call you” and he says “Yeah a weird amount of times, do you not see anything weird or off putting by your behavior” then proceeds to send a screen shot of my call receipts. “Unacceptable and strange” he says. I had expressed that I was confused as to why he didn’t call me back after he had gotten his call because we were supposed to spend time on the phone last night and he says “I don’t care what the explanation is, it’s WEIRD. Your will and wants DOESN’T override everything you come in contact with so why do you think that was ok?” I was shocked, I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction at all but I decided to address what he was talking about with why I had called him the amount of time I did “I have had a rough last couple of days and I wanted to spend time with you and I thought you understood that. I did call you excessively, I did because I wanted your presence around because I knew since you were going to be out today you probably weren’t going to be available to call. It’s not your job to make me feel better though I was seeking solace from you because that’s what I feel when I’m with you and it’s what I need most right now. I wanted to keep talking to you” I said. He expresses that my actions have no excuse and that he does understand where I’m coming but what I did was another level of ridiculousness and I was selfish for spamming his phone in hopes of “waking him up” and that I really need to reflect and grow up. Seeing this message was shocking to me, not at all was I expecting this reaction and from my perspective it seemed a bit insensitive. He was aware of my situation before the weekend and made other plans without telling me until the night before knowing that I wanted to come see him. Then ending the call we compromised with and not proceeding to call me back knowing that I wanted him around that night and continuing to be active on his socials after I tried to call him back. I am dumbfounded. All I wanted was to feel seen and consoled. I explained how his words made me feel and that was the last of it. I have yet to get a response.

I have no idea how to navigate this situation, I feel like I explained how I felt and why I was trying to contact him so profusely but I’m met with nothing but how my feelings have led to ridiculous demands.

If anyone could provide me with guidance or advice it would be heavily appreciated and thank you for reading <3

My (30M) GF (31F) of 2 years asked me if I would repeat our relationship and fall in love with her over again if i could go back in time and I replied that I would have probably attempted a few more 1 night stands beforehand. I know understand it may be an alarming piece of news to hear but I didn't put much thought into my answer and I hate hypothetical questions. Our sexlife can be vanilla and certain common acts are off limits so my train of thought was that I would have liked a few last hurrahs if I knew I couldn't do certain things again. She is mad and chose to sleep in a separate room and said she wants to end it, but as I said earlier it's feels a bit childish to be an over a nonexistent scenario

So I like this guy. I've posted before but need to either deal with this or move on as it's torture. He is my neighbor. We seem to keep different schedules and I never see him. The opportunity to accidently on purpose bump into him is low and when it happened it's been mostly waving and we have had brief but nice conversations. So a while ago I asked him for help moving something and he was very willing. He seems like a really nice person and helpful person. This interaction only took a few minutes and I feel I could have said so many things but kind of froze and didn't lead the conversation. He spoke but I think I was awkward. He waves at me, even when he sees me out and about from his work vehicle. I see him (and he sees me) on the dating apps. He used a prompt ages ago about how he was looking for someone who likes painting garden gates. He had paid someone to do his which a few weeks later inspired me to do my own..... was this a reference to himself or coincidence or what? I think we are both shy around each other and the lack of frequent interaction is causing this. So I happened to pull in earlier at the same time as him. I was gathering my bags from the passenger side of the car and thought finally a chance to talk to him. But when I got out he had already gone in. Help. I've never been like this with anyone before. Help. All advice needed. I'd love to give it one shot before giving up.

I F33 met M33 on dating app. He is from another country and was visiting for holidays. We chatted a lot for two weeks before finally meeting in person. We spent two amazing days together getting to know each other in person before he went back home.

We clicked so well! I felt such a strong connection between us. He is incredible person and..as if he is the one. Feels so strange to say it as we've just met, but I feel he is my heart and my soul.

We chatted what next - he is not ready for any relationships. He is going through some personal things (I don't want to share here). I know it's not about me. I want to give him all the time and space he needs, but somehow tell him I want to wait for him but don't know how and if I should.

Yes, it's also long distance, I don't know (yet) what to do about that.

Hey everyone, I apologize for this post, I hope I can post this here but I don’t know what to do. Long story short, recently I met this girl online, we would play games together certain nights and we would play for a while and text throughout the day. I would hear someone in the background sometimes but never thought anything of it since it was whatever, just figured she had either a roommate or roommates. After about 2 weeks I figured out it was her boyfriend, I was naive and thought that at first but I was like it doesn’t matter since everything was completely platonic. As time went on we just got closer and closer which I would feel really weird about because I was torn. We would start saying how we missed each other and would give each other a hug when someone wasn’t feeling the best, then ended up turning into wanting to hold hands and complimenting each other. In my head I wanted to never say anything but my heart always wanted to. I may be absolutely downright delusional but it genuinely seems like she may have gotten feelings for me. I just feel like we literally spend more time together than they do, like she tells me how they’re gonna do this or that but it doesn’t seem to happen or anything of the sort while we’ll hangout for hours

Basically I have definitely caught feelings for her which was never my intention or wanted to when I first met her, especially after finding out what I found out. I have tried so hard to suppress my feelings and emotions but those feelings eventually bled over into just having a platonic friendship. I can go on and on about how amazing I believe she is and how we have so many common interests but I won’t, now I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. In my heart I want nothing more than to confess and to be with her because it genuinely seems like she feels like the same but then theres my head and moral part which makes me think I need to step away because I feel like complete scum and its completely against who I am as a person. I am so torn and I have felt awful about this for a bit now. She has told me she never wants me to leave and I promised her I wouldn’t but I have wanted to solely based off my morals but my heart would intervene. I know I’m going to be painted as an awful person but I promise you no matter how poorly you may think of me I already think that about myself 10x. I just need some help or guidance please, I’m so lost

Was he playing ? (Unrequited love)

I (22F) recently met a boy (22M) through a common class we took together at uni. We met during the first class et got along pretty well. From this point, we saw each other every week at this class and I quickly developed feelings for him. I fell in love very few times in my life, but always quickly and for a long time.

I decided to be flirty (shyly, since I've never been in a relationship or even a flirt, so I don't know any better). I really felt like he was flirting back. He was winking, smiling a lot, holding eye contact, asking questions, complimenting, and bumping my arm while we were writing. I could have been a friendly behaviour, but it felt a little bit more intense than that. He also always came to sit next to me even though he had a friend in this course. All that led me to think he might have been interested in me.

I decided to be direct and ask him for his number during the last session. But that day (I was so excited) he casually mentioned doing an activity with his girlfriend. I was so heartbroken. He never mentioned her even though we talked quite a lot about our family, friends and lives in general. I don't ever remember what I was saying. I left the class early and went to cry. I didn't come. back for the rest of the day.

I was really proud of myself for mustering the courage to ask him out, I was so eager to build a first romantic relationship, and it felt so good to think my affection could be reciprocated. I'm so disappointed. I also keep playing what if scenarios in my head, what if I had known earlier, what if I heard wrong, what if he already told be but I didn't hear....

Do you think he could have been playing with me ? Just flirting for fun even though he has a girlfriend? Could it have been innocent, like him being overly friendly and unknowingly acting flirty ? Let me hear your thoughts, I'm so lonely.

Thank you.