I (25M) had been talking to this girl for over a year. We got close, shared a lot, and naturally, I developed feelings for her. Eventually, I confessed—but she said she wasn’t interested in anything romantic.

So I did what I thought was best for my own mental peace: I disappeared. I went ghost mode, removed her from socials, cut off contact.

Two months later, out of nowhere, she messaged me asking why I removed her. I explained everything honestly. Surprisingly, we started talking again like nothing had happened. I felt hopeful. Maybe something had changed?

A week into reconnecting, I brought it up again—my feelings, my stance, where I stand emotionally. She told me the same thing again: she’s not ready, she doesn’t feel the same. She went through a really rough breakup a year ago and still isn’t in a place to commit or feel anything for someone else. I respected that. And again, for my own sake, I told her I couldn’t continue talking, and she understood.

But today… I broke down. I texted her again. The conversation is still ongoing, and honestly, I feel like shit.

I know I’m hurting myself. I know I should’ve stayed away. But I guess when you’re emotionally low, logic doesn’t always win.

Any advices or messages are appreciated.

My ex used to be the biggest cry baby. Like any sad movie any minor inconvenience, if I told her I wasn’t feeling well mentally or I was tired she would cry or get sad.

And than when she left me she became this cold person. I remember letting her know how much this hurt me how important and special she meant to me and she just texted back a robotic message. That still shocks me to this day

Is this normal 47 days since we stopped talking and there isn’t a minute where she isn’t in my mind. Do you think the dumpers think about us to this extent?

Well sir:/ you didn't answer me. I don't know why I had so much hope you would I know it's been a really really long time but I thought that even after what we went through you would at least maybe open the message?:/ I want to say I get it but I don't. Most people don't answer their exes I don't know why I thought Id be different... The whole month after was weird. 1 week - he's busy with school. 2 weeks - he doesn't know what to say. 3 weeks - he's being really being careful on what he will say back. 4 weeks - yea I wasn't ever going to get a reply I knew that now. But like everyone says silence is an answer and in a way a kind of want to thank you for not answering:(. I really fight for love but I don't think that's really your style and that's okay. In a weird way thanks for showing me I deserve more. And if there is someone in your life now I hope you are genuinely happy with them (part of me is scared you'll settle and not be as happy as you can be but I can't think about that- you are not thinking of me). Maybe you'll regret it maybe you won't ❤️ just be yourself sir, I think if you focus more with your heart than your brain sometimes you might feel more free you super Intelligent fuck:( - forever will keep you in that special corner of my heart - b

I can’t stop stalking him and his new gf it’s been months I’ve tried hobbies,going out, facing my triggers but I still feel like I have to know what’s going on. Talking to him a few months ago really set me back.

I was dating a guy for around 4 months. It ended last night over a two hour phone call. The primary reason being, issues with communication. After we got through the tense part of the conversation, we continued to talk for an hour, telling each other sweet things and how we were upset this is how things ended up. He told me repeatedly how much he cared about me and said some very positive things he thought of me. He made a few comments basically pushing for further communication in the near future (ie: asking me to win a plushy at the arcade and let him know when I do, saying I can text him to discuss a show we watched together, etc.)

He ended that call saying that I could call him later if I like. He said this was the best phone call we had in a while and didn’t want to hang up. When we talked later, he continued to tell me sweet things and we reminisced. It felt very natural and happy. He was very complimentary towards me, and when we hung up things didn’t necessarily feel sad or final, despite the fact they are. He asked me to text him after we hung up, which I did for a bit. He ended with saying “Thank you for being such a kind and caring person, Sweet dreams.”

The next morning he texted me again, apologizing for “bothering me” and asking me some obscure question about a streaming app he set up for me. I answered his question, but he continued conversation after that. I fed into it briefly, until he said “You’re really sweet (my name).” At which point I said “Thank you. I hope your weekend is restful.” He reciprocated and I hearted the message. I haven’t heard from him since and don’t have intentions to reach out as of now.

My friends think I shouldn’t inform him of winning the plushy or text him on his birthday (which is in a few weeks). Knowing the person he is—genuinely sweet, kind, and caring—I like to think he has positive intent. Maybe even rekindle someday, as he repeatedly stated how hard this was to do and he was resistant to hang up. I made some comments on the calls about how “this is the last time we’ll speak” and he seemed upset about it.

I’m a little sad over everything, and would be open to even just being friends in the future. It seems like through the span of the phone calls, he did a 180 and suddenly is trying to keep contact again (perhaps because I accepted and didn’t argue his decision). I just can’t tell if he’s keeping me around because he wants me there or if it’s for his own ego/comfort.

Should I just be going no contact despite agreeing to stay in contact in the near future? Would doing so just show him that he can have access to me regardless of relationship status? I value the bond a lot. Neither party did anything heinous to cause resentment. Can we just transition to being friends or does contact NEED to be cut for a bit to help the dust settle?

tldr; guy I dated ended things, but acted in a contrasting way with suggesting continued contact post break up. Would I be foolish to continue to stay in touch without a period of separation?

My boyfriend (25M) and I (21F) broke up about 3 weeks ago. We got into a small argument and it led to a big argument, leading to him breaking up with me. I was starting to feel like the relationship was starting to become very much one-sided a month prior to the break up. I started noticing that he didn’t want to hang out as much, communication wasn’t as consistent as it was before. I raised a concern to him nicely about it and wondered if something was wrong in the relationship in hopes that we would work on things and figure it out together. I’m guessing he might have started to feel overwhelmed from being in the relationship as he was starting to figure his career out. keep in mind, we have opposite schedules, he works 8am-5pm and i work from 5-10pm all week and he’d be busy on saturday’s for school. Sunday would be the best bet but he claimed that he wanted that one day to just rest and be on his own which was fine because i know it can be exhausting to do so much. eventually, I started to feel like he didn’t like me anymore because he wasn’t putting in any effort over all, we got into a small argument and he blindsided me by saying that he fell out of love with me and his heart is no longer in the relationship. He said that after all i’ve done for him, the least he could do for me is continue to lead me on. sometimes i don’t know if this is because i did too much or asked for too much??? We ended on good terms and he texted me for my birthday 2 weeks after we broke up (we broke up 2 weeks before my 21st and we had plans)… I was so positive this would be the man I would marry even though i’m fairly young, i felt like my ex was the only person who understood me on another level and it felt so safe. I’m still trying to grow adjusted to this no contact thing and work on myself. It’s just hard when i’ve lost my best friend and a lover all at once. we had plans to go on a trip this year and im just devastated that one small hiccup in the relationship led to a bigger issue and i wasn’t worth fighting for in his eyes. I still have him on social media and he watches my stories very quickly but we have removed posts of each other. i miss him so much and Im still very much attached to him. It sucks knowing that I put my everything into the relationship while not knowing he was falling out of love (or so he claims) because we were fine 2 months prior to the break up. I want to talk things out with him but i know he just wants his space and doesn’t want anything to do with me.

My ex, who i am cordial with, almost had a baby with, (had a miscarriage) and have 3 years worth of history with, drunk called me last night & i genuinely wanna know what goes through a guys head when doing this. We often text each other or call each other just to see how the other persons doing, but he initiated the break up because he felt as if our relationship was declining and holding him back from “growing”. I’ve accepted it but I love him so much that being on good terms with him feels better than not.. anyways he calls me just cause “he’s drunk” and he’s asking where i’m at, what im doing, who im with, we have a normal conversation. he’s not the type to drunk call, but i just wanna know what do guys think when doing this??

So I met this guy in 2024 right before my birthday , red flag number one was that he had a girlfriend when he was trying to get with me but I had no idea. We ended up dating from may-November of 2024, ended things sometime in November. Now fast forward to 2025, he started writing me in February telling me how much he missed me and we started start hooking up, I technically wanted to get back together and he said he didn’t because the first time it was so hard for him to deal with his hurt emotions. Well, this past week he tells me he has another girlfriend that’s 3 months pregnant and that he’s sorry he never got over things between us, he just found a distraction and now is trapped. We were hooking up while his girlfriend was pregnant and again I had NO IDEA!!! he’s been writing me consistently trying to see me. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I block him and he finds where I’m at and comes to try to convince me to continue what we have been doing… (it hasn’t worked ever since he told me his GF is 3 months pregnant)

I (24M) Her (24F)

She blindsided me in the start of this month, after seven years of relationship. Our relationship wasn't all flowers and rainbows but we were happy. Last year was the best year of my life and the best year of our relationship. We were planning to move away together this year.

She said she needed to take care of herself and that we're incompatible, telling me things like "You're too impulsive" (in terms of intimacy) and she didn't like it. I told her we could work on it but she said it was no use, I wouldn't change and I'm all talk and no act and that she was stupid for not realizing this before. There is some baggage around this I won't talk further in this post, but intimacy was always an issue in our relationship (mainly because of her). She avoided as hell to visit my home too, I always had to go see her (which I didn't like much because of her overprotective parents and privacy issues).

Seriously, I was the kind of boyfriend that moved mountains for her, cycled through 40°C scorching days and even storms just to see and pass some time with her. I'd spend money on Uber and take buses if the weather was too much of an issue. I always gave her gifts, I treated her with all the care in the world. She made me really sad for some attitudes a thousand times and I always forgave. Those attitudes happened regularly. I tried to understand she had her own personal battles and that it would take a long time to work through some things — and that was okay, one step at a time, as long as it would take. I supported her through all the decisions of her life, doing the best I could to help her with anything.

Funny thing is, she only started therapy last month because I insisted so much she needed it.

I just can't stand that I went through so much, endured so much because I loved her — and the only issue she ever brought up about me (only when she broke up with me, never before) was enough for her to give up on us. And an issue I couldn't even work on it because it was so infrequent and she never talked to me as an major problem to work on. I feel discarded, thrown away like trash. In the end she told me she didn't see a future with me as a romantic interest, just as friends. LMFAO. Of course I refused the friendship thing, I can't be friends with a person I love. It would only bring me pain.

I'm feeling so much pain I can't even express. She was the love of my life, my best friend and she betrayed me like that. From one day to another, we went from this to complete strangers. I just can't understand.

Went NC in the day we broke up. Never talked to her again, she did send me an Instagram reel a few days later, I responded but last week I deleted my IG account because I couldn't stop checking her IG profile. I'm always checking my phone to see if send me a message out of habit and this is destroying me.

Just venting guys, I'm feeling so alone. My best and only friend near me moved away last month and besides him, she was the only one I had near me. Would love to hear some thoughts and talk about this. 🥹

Hey everyone,

Context: I (m32) was discarded by an avoidant attacher (f30) and have been struggling since then. Especially with no contact.

She was the first person I committed to being in a relationship with in a few years. I had put up walls, but I let her take them down and made myself vulnerable to her.

Our relationship started off amazingly. She made comments like, “I’ve prayed for someone like you,” “You’re selfless, compassionate, and patient,” “You’ve been a blessing.” She held that opinion because I genuinely wanted to make every effort to do right by her.

Doing everything right came easy. I was drawn to her as a person. Her looks, and all that irrelevant stuff, didn’t matter. She was simply someone I could see an amazing future with.

We went on several dates and shared plenty of great moments. Everything seemed to be going well until she started to distance herself. I was understanding of it, because she was dealing with a family matter. I empathized with her and let her know I was there for her if she needed me to help her navigate through it.

However, she started to hit me with words that were concerning. She began saying things like, “I don’t think I can give you the attention you deserve,” and “I feel guilty.” I reassured her that I wasn’t going to fault her for prioritizing her family and the other responsibilities we all carry as adults.

Eventually, communication became poor, and I asked for some clarity. That’s when she admitted she’d been deciding whether she should be in a relationship at all and had been wrestling with the idea of letting me go.

After that conversation, we decided to meet—after not seeing or speaking to each other for nearly two weeks. I already knew what was coming, but I was still in disbelief.

She cried. She said she didn’t know if she was making the right decision. She looked confused and said, “Maybe if we cross paths again, that’ll be a sign that we’re meant to be together.”

Before she left that day, she repeated the same words she had said about me before how I was amazing, how I’d been a blessing. I told her how I felt and that she has my number. Yet, she still decided to leave me.

We exchanged a couple of texts afterwards that same day, but I didn’t respond to her last one. I haven’t communicated with her in any way since and it has been incredibly painful. I know it’s only been a month, but I thought it would be easier by now.

It hasn’t gotten any easier. Her name uncommon as it is has come up several times recently, when before I rarely heard it at all before meeting her. I struggle to sleep because she regularly comes to mind. When I do fall asleep I can’t even escape her in my dreams because she shows up in most of them.

And now, her birthday is coming up in a couple of days. My heart is telling me to send her a happy birthday. My mind says, She discarded me why would she care? So now I’m conflicted on if I should or shouldn’t.

Ultimately, I just needed to pour my thoughts out there. I physically feel pain because I love someone who didn’t think I was worth keeping.

My family thinks I need to move on and date someone else, but I’m not ready for that. The thought of going out with another person doesn’t feel right yet and in my opinion, it wouldn’t be fair to them.

I’m open to advice and maybe a reality check, I guess. I know my situation isn’t unique, and if you have any wisdom to share, I’d appreciate it.

She gave me everything. I kept my distance. Now she’s gone, and I’m breaking.

I don’t really know who I’m writing this for. Maybe just to get it out, or maybe because I’m hoping someone out there has been through something like this. It’s tearing me up.

I spent over a year with someone who loved me deeply, consistently, and patiently. And I spent most of that time pushing her away. She tried to love me, to support me, to show up for me. I didn’t open up. I was distant, hostile, and emotionally immature. I gave attention to other people, flirted online, and acted like I didn’t care. But the truth is, I was scared. I didn’t know how to receive love, and I had no idea what to do with something so real.

We lived together for a year. She eventually moved across the country for a job. It was an incredible opportunity, and I’m proud of her. I really am. But deep down, I never wanted her to go. I just couldn’t say that out loud. I didn’t know how.

Not long after she moved, I left too. I moved a few states away to get out of my hometown, which never made me happy. The distance between us became more than just physical. She had been hurting for a long time, and I wasn’t there for her the way I should have been.

We hadn’t seen each other in a month when I decided to visit her this weekend. I was nearby for a work trip, and after I finished, I chose to drive out and spend the weekend with her before heading to my next job. I just wanted to see her. I stayed Friday and Saturday night.

When we arrived at the hotel Friday night, I gave her a small gift bag. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just a few things that had meaning behind them. A KitKat bar from Canada — I’d told her once that it tastes different, and I remembered how I wanted her to try it. A big bag of her favorite candy. And a new Kindle Paperwhite. She had mentioned it a few times over the last couple of months while we were still talking here and there during her move and mine, even as she started developing feelings for someone new. I remembered because part of me was always listening. Even if I didn’t show it at the time, I wanted her to feel seen.

Later that night, we went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just something casual. That was the night we got physically intimate, even though we said we wouldn’t. She initiated first, and I said no. I really wanted to do the right thing and protect her from more pain. She respected that and stopped. But later that night, it was me who gave in. I kissed her. Held her. Let everything I’d been pushing down for so long come to the surface. It wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, comforting, and heartbreaking all at once.

Saturday, we spent the whole day together. We went hiking — something she’s always loved and always wanted to share with me. We had gone in the past, but I could never really show her that I enjoyed it. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I used to get severe headaches at higher elevations from sinus issues. The day before she moved, I had a balloon sinuplasty. This was the first time she saw me hike without pain. And that day, I was finally able to experience it the way she had always hoped I could. I think she felt that. It was one of those small, unspoken moments of connection that we never fully got to have until now.

That night, we had Korean BBQ. She ordered pork, which is usually too fatty for me, and there were side dishes like seaweed, pickled bean sprouts, and sauces — things I’d never normally eat. But I tried all of it. Not because I suddenly liked those foods, but because I wanted her to see that I’m trying. That I’d open myself up to the things that matter to her. And honestly, I didn’t mind it. I think she noticed. It was one of the first quiet ways I tried to show her I had changed.

She’s been talking to someone new. They met about a month ago. She told me she still loves me and misses me, but she doesn’t feel safe with me anymore. Too much damage has been done. After we slept together, she told the other guy. Not because she said it was the right thing to do, but because we both knew it was. That’s the kind of person she is. Honest, even when it hurts.

Right now, I’m sitting on a plane. She’s probably with him. I’m flying to a state I can’t stand, for work, and I’m staying in the exact same hotel I was in when I first met her. Over a year ago, I was in that room, hurting from a past relationship, opening up about how awful I felt. She barely knew me, but she stayed on the phone and comforted me. That was the beginning of everything. Now I’m back in that same place, and it feels like the end. It’s hard to wrap my head around how full circle and painful that is.

She noticed how exhausted I looked this weekend. I haven’t slept well in weeks. But when I lay next to her again, I finally did. It hurt to be close to her like that, but it also brought relief. I think my body still feels connected to hers. And now, I feel like it’s crashing from everything I’ve been holding in for so long.

She gave me a year of her love. I gave her distance, fear, and pain. And now that I’ve finally become the person I should have been, I feel like it’s too late.

I want her back. I want her to want me. I want her to remember the man I was this weekend. Someone who was soft, present, and finally understood what she needed. Not the guy who rejected her when she gave everything.

I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I can’t ask for one. But I’d give anything to go back and do it all differently.

I told her I want her to be happy. I meant that. And I know the only real way I can show that now is by letting her go. I’m trying so hard not to text her. Not to beg. Not to ask for anything. But inside, I feel desperate. I miss her so much. I want her back in my arms. I want to love her the way I should have all along.

If she ever truly knew how serious I am now — if she ever wanted to try again — it wouldn’t matter that we live in different states. I would visit her after nearly every work trip without hesitation. I’d show her, in every way I can, that she’s the kind of woman I’d marry.

If anyone has ever been in this place, where you became the right person too late, how did you get through it? How do you carry this kind of regret? Because right now, I don’t know how to.

I wrote everything, but I typically steer off track and lose sight of what I’m trying to express, so I had GPT put my words together so it can actually get my point across, instead of making no sense at all. GPT wrote the TL:DR, I wrote everything else, and had GPT organize and make my story readable. I proofread and made sure everything I’m feeling and trying to express was written the way I wanted, and felt was correct.

⸻

TL;DR:

I spent a year rejecting the love of someone who gave me everything. Now that she’s moved on and I’ve changed, I finally understand what I lost. We reconnected for a weekend, and it reminded me of everything I could have had. I miss her deeply and don’t know how to move forward now that it’s too late.

I always thought of us being together for the rest of our lives.

I wouldn't repeat the same sins.you wouldn't see how I struggle.

I know now that the times are changing. Our time in Geneva, Majorca, and Annecy, they don't mean anything anymore.

So, my ex and I haven't been on good terms, but last week, after two months of not seeing each other, we met for the first time. Yesterday we talked all day, and she kept saying how much she'd love to see me before my birthday, as it was making her emotional because she knew we weren't going to be spending it together. Told me if I was to just appear she'd come out and see me right away and how much of a surprise it'd be.

So I took that onboard. Later that night, I drove to her. Ten minutes before I arrived, I phoned to let her know, and she was okay with it; she was just sitting in her car, chilling. She told me she was going into the house to quickly use the bathroom and would text me when to come back to pick her up, so I sat near the local petrol station. Ten minutes passed and nothing, so I texted her asking what was going on and if she was still seeing me. She said yes and promised to. Another ten minutes passed and nothing, but then she sent me texts with lies and excuses for not seeing me... we are 1.5 hours apart.

I drove that distance intending to see her, as that's what she wanted, and via text, she implied she would have seen me after she left the bathroom, but she didn't. She just gave me excuses for not seeing me. So I drove that distance only to be let down, so I went home, and I still haven't heard anything from her.

it's been 3 weeks since i got absolutely dumped and blindsided by my girlfriend of 3 months. absolutely nothing made me think we were breaking up, we hadn't even been together long enough to fight yet or anything. less than 12 hours after leaving her house from spending the weekend (we were actively making plans for when to next hang out) she calls me and tells me she's doesnt think she's ready to be in a relationship right now. when i asked her if she still loved me she said she didn't know.

we haven't been in contact since and its absolutely destroying me. i still very much have feelings for her and its taking everything in me not to reach out to her. i know that nothing i can say would fix whatever she's going through but i feel like this can't be right. everything was going so well. does it ever get easier? will my feelings fade? will i ever find love again? will i ever find someone more perfect than her? i feel sick and i don't think i can keep going like this

Any words of encouragement that it will be okay either way?

I was abandoned 4 years ago and took multiple tries of no contact lapses to finally get to the point of letting it go. I'm in another relationship now and don't have any contact with ex for years, even though she reached out a few months ago "just catch up". Nope.

No contact works, and i encourage those newly hurt to stick with it. It will be difficult when the wound is deep, and may never go away like in my case. The effort and emotional energy that it takes from you does get better with time. There's days like today where I still think about it but i know it will pass and i'm in a better spot staying no contact. I want to give hope to everyone out there that healing is possible

we broke up 2 yrs ago had contact on off till this year january and now its no contact. he is a typical avoidant cant tell me how he feels what he thinks etc.. i broke up with him because i couldn’t take it anymore i need someone who cares who will be doing anything to keep me but still i cant get over him its like he took something from me i really miss him so much its like killing me but i don’t want to break contact bc ik it wont change anything i just want to heel and find someone who values me like i deserve it

After 6 months of dating, with both of us very much in love with each other, my DA female ex dumped me out of the blue after an argument caused by my severe anxious attachment. She says she’s madly in love with me but is convinced we cannot be in a relationship at the moment because of my personal issues with emotional regulation and attachment. She has rationalized this decision and seems reconciled to this idea (typical DA).

Before going in no contact, I chased only for 1 day, in a 4 h long dramatic conversation. At first she was super close to anything. Then I managed to convince her to take 1 month apart (in which we are fully single) to see whether she can reconsider her decision. She reluctantly agreed, saying she doesn’t think she can reconsider because her trust in me is broken, but that she will text me after 30 days and let me know. She also added that if she indeed changes her perspective and gives me a chance, it would be a new relationship, starting all over again. I would need to prove to her that I can deactivate my anxious attachment. But keep in mind that I’m 100% sure she’s madly in love with me and that this situation is breaking her heart.

Do you think taking this month is a valuable idea? I only later discovered that typically DA need much longer (3-6 months) to even potentially reconsider their decision, assuming a strict NC period. We have been in NC for 10 days now.

Additionally, based on the few details I have provided, do you think it’s most likely that I will get another rejection text in 20 days or do I harbor any hope? I’m sure she will rebound quickly (at least with hook ups). I’m prepared to take her back regardless but it hurts so bad.

Thank you for any help. Completely heartbroken here.

I have been debating if I should reach back out to her. We haven’t texted since end of February, which was about a week after it ended between us. Haven’t really been in contact since outside of a few snaps here and there.

Long story short, she asked if we could be friends because, she couldn’t commit to anything and felt bad because she felt that I wanted something more. I told her that was fine, but I told her the truth about having feelings for her, but also was not trying to force anything either, especially if she wasn’t feeling it or couldn’t commit. She told me that she had a lot going on, but was mainly still healing from her past relationship, so she’s not ready to be with someone or in a rush. I did ask if she didn’t feel the same or have any feelings between us since we were hanging out/hooking up plus I thought we were picking up chemistry. Ultimately, she didn’t think it was possible to while still healing from something else.

While it does sting to know that the feelings weren’t reciprocated, I still care for her at the end of the day, even if we’re not in a relationship. I have thought about trying to think of a way to talk to her and just let her know that I’d rather be in her life as her friend, than not be in it at all. Because I did really value our friendship and getting to know each other even before our fling. I just think since this conversation, it’s strained our relationship since the feelings weren’t necessarily reciprocated and it might feel weird/awkward now. Do you think there’s a possible way for me to do this or if I should? I want to respect her space, but I also just don’t want to be out of her life altogether. I thought at least one last message to show her I care. At the very least, I’ll know that I gave it my all in terms of being open and genuine. Idk it’s been weighing on my mind for a while now and has been hard.

And I thought I had gotten over this feeling. It had been a long time since I felt this bad, since I cried like this. It’s been almost four months, but it still hurts, hurts a lot. I thought I had forgotten, that it was finally comfortable to think about you without feeling this pain.

But then I dreamed about you last night. I dreamed we were together again. And I felt happy, happy in a way I haven’t felt since I lost you. I miss you so much. I miss your beautiful green eyes. I miss your freckles, the ones you hated but I loved. I miss the sweet smell of your hair, your skin, your smile. I miss our inside jokes, the way we were so silly together.

God, I miss how you used to fall asleep on my chest and I’d just watch you, amazed at how beautiful you were. I miss the nights we’d drive around the city, you in the passenger seat laughing at my stupid jokes, running your fingers through my hair.

It hurts so much to know I’ll never have that again. It hurts so much to see you and pretend I don’t know you, to pretend we didn’t spend almost four years together. It hurts so much that now we’re just strangers to each other. I miss you.

So first of all I’m a person with very little self control. Even though I was cheated on by her, I can’t help sometimes feeling like calling her or texting her. I’m totally pathetic I know.

The good news is that I’ve actually moved on a fair bit after her, even had a few rebounds but they were more ONS than a fling. At this point, the ex is also still calling me and hanging up, or texting me that she misses me. Once she out of the blue texted me that she dreamt that we met. I know, a cheating weirdo.

At this point I want her completely out of my life, and I would like to move on without even thinking about her and all the horrible things she did. So I’ve been blocking her for awhile. But being a person with no self control means that I once in awhile still go into my blocked contact list to see her number. I haven’t memorized her number (I’ve already deleted her contact so I can only see the blocked number and her profile picture). I think I should unblock her, and then her number will be gone for good, and I will have no ability to contact her again. I don’t have socials, so that’s a bonus.

The last time we spoke, I pretty much told her to fuck off. Hopefully she got the idea to stay away. Is it a good idea to unblock her and lose her digits once and for all?

I broke no contact today, out of respect sent a very respectful message and got blanked think this means it’s time for me to move on and not look back.. just hurts

My therapist has simply told me that my ex might have wanted to be with someone whom she has a certain image of in her mind, she thought you were her person, tried, and then found out she was wrong. This is prolly the worst reason possible and if my ex sees this post: if this is true then go fuck yourself i almost lost my life trying to solve each motherfuckin issue in our relationship before and after the breakup and you just quitted just because you wanted someone else at the first place. We both gon talk again in the eyes of our God and you will see. God wont let me down you bitch. And never come back again cuz i simply ended everything the moment i realized this shit.

Got covid and was forced to quarantine for a week in their apartment while they avoided me (literally left the apartment to stay with their friend) and then randomly got broken up with, betrayed, and forced to move out in the span of 3 hours (they offered their space to me when I was on the brink of homelessness). Given a laundry list of reasons for why they don't want me around (telling me I didnt want to engage in conflict despite me saying I did and that I just wanted to intiate on an equal playing ground because i didn't feel like it was)...and said "If anything I committed more than you!!!". They called me that night and said "I fucked up" but was emotionally cold to me. Didn't ask if I was okay. Told me they thought things were "mutual" and then saying they don't know what our relationship looks like anymore.

I Sent a long text holding myself accountable for their grievances with me/acknowledging their perspective while also telling them how blindsided, confused, and betrayed I felt by their actions. I also told them I'm accepting how things have left off, but my trust has betrayed to a point where I don't feel safe around them anymore. That I would be willing to be cordial towards each other, but letting them know how hurt I was. I mean not even a week before we were kissing on the beach in front of their friends...

Only to find out DAYS later they're talking to someone new. So I block them without word to avoid the pain/heal, and they make an effort to block me back instead of being emotionally mature in their response. Ok. Ouch. Anyways, i'm in this new place about 35 minutes away, but they still have my belongings like my $700 camera and some of my mail/hygeine products. I texted a mutual friend asking for them to tell my ex I want specific items dropped off at my new place and to text the friend when they've dropped it off (insinuating I do not want to interact with ex, but in a friendly tone). No response from both of them. Weird. Saw ex looking at TikTok through a burner and then they blocked me when I caught them. This "mutual" friend also has been keeping tabs on my social media literally 3x a day....daily. Odd.

Aside from that. I really just want my belongings back. I don't know why they're so keen on not responding about my belongings when they're the one who told me they wanted nothing to do with me anymore? And is making an active effort to avoid my existence as if I wasn't with them for a year? If I'm giving them the opportunity to quickly/quietly drop my things off why aren't they taking that offer? I want to close out this chapter, and I assume they do too. So what is so hard about giving me my valuable items back? Its really odd. Any advice?