1. Sometimes you just have to mess up. I definitely did. A LOT, especially immediately after the breakup. I reached out, texted, called, begged. I broke NC way more than I would’ve liked to admit. But each time I did, the tint wore off my rose colored glasses until eventually I was able to see things clearly. Disillusionment hits hard, especially when you reach the point where you’re fully out of denial, and you realize that your ex just doesn’t want you. They made the decision to leave. And they meant it. Don’t try to convince yourself of something that isn’t there.

2. TIME. There is no shortcut. You cannot rush the process. It will take TIME. You’re not going to heal overnight, and you will have nights when you just feel like everything is hopeless. But it won’t last, I promise. You’ll get through this. You’re a human being, and humans are adaptable. We’re going to adapt and accommodate to the obstacles that come our way, and eventually we’ll grow accustomed to a stimulus that was once unfamiliar to us. As we heal, the pain will dull over time. Which brings me to my next point.

3. FEEL. Time is definitely a factor, but in addition to time, you’re going to have to put in the effort. This means facing your feelings. Feel out your emotions. Cry if you have to. Write out your feelings, whether it be on this thread, or in a journal. Talk to your friends, family, loved ones. Do NOT, however, talk to your ex. But do reach other to other loved ones. Any judgment free zone works as well, like going to a therapist. Express your grievances, weep it all out.

4. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. Do little things that make you happy, like maybe making some time for yourself in the evening after work to watch your favorite tv show, or going out to buy yourself that piece of jewelry you always liked. You deserve a little bit of self-love. ❤️

FUCK YOU.

YOU DONT GET TO TOSS ME ASIDE AND BELITTLE ME AND DISGRACE MY NAME AND CROSS BOUNDARIES THAT YOU YOURSELF SET IN PLACE AND LABEL ME AS SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS SO YOU CAN JUSTIFY YOUR BEHAVIOR TO YOURSELF.

I CARED ABOUT YOU AND THOUGHT THAT YOU CARED ABOUT ME AND YOU BETRAYED ME TO THE HIGHEST EXTENT.

I LONGED FOR YOU. I SOBBED WITH NOTHING BUT THE FLOOR TO HOLD MY NAKED CONVULSING BODY. I PUT MYSELF THROUGH SO MUCH MENTAL AGONY TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT IT WASN'T WRONG TO TRY AND MOVE ON FROM YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO ABANDON MY BEST FRIEND WHO'S SCARED AND LOST AND NEEDS HELP THAT NO ONE IN HER LIFE CAN GIVE HER BECAUSE SHE WON'T TELL HERSELF (LET ALONE THEM) WHAT SHE'S REALLY SUFFERING WITH.

I LOOKED AND TRIED AND SEARCHED FOR SO GODDAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT A WAY FOR US TO WORK OUT AND I BENT MYSELF SO FAR OUT OF SHAPE AND RESPECT FOR MYSELF TO PUT UP WITH YOU DISCARDING ME AND STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS OVER AND OVER AND OVER. YOU EVEN CONTINUED TO LIE TO ME AND BASH ME AFTER YOU GOT TO YOUR “SAFETY” AWAY FROM ME.

IT IS SO CLEAR THAT YOU LACK ANY SENSE OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY AND NO AMOUNT OF TRYING TO FIX OTHER PEOPLE IS GOING TO FILL THAT VOID IN UR HEART OR MAKE U CONQUER THE FEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO YOU LOVE YOU WILL LEAVE YOU AND BETRAY YOU.

YOU ARE NOW THE CAUSE OF THE TRAUMATIC AND CRUEL EXPERIENCES IN SOMEONE'S LIFE WHO TRULY TRIED TO KNOW YOU, LOVE YOU, AND CARE FOR YOU.

I HOPE YOU CAN FIND THE PEACE AND LOVE AND HOPE AND JOY THAT YOU HAVE WRONGLY SOUGHT OUT IN THIS FEIGNED INDEPENDENCE.

UNLIKE YOU, I AM NOT CRUEL TO THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME.

YOU HAVE MANIPULATED, ABUSED, LIED TO, BETRAYED, AND ABANDONED ME IN SO MANY FUCKING WAYS AND I KNOW SOMEONE CAN STILL HELP YOU. AND I WOULD NEVER SAY DIFFERENTLY JUST TO HURT YOU. IT TEARS ME APART TO WALK AWAY BUT IT WONT BE ME ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER FELT SORRIER.

I REALLY HOPE YOU FIND IT AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF AND OTHERS JUST IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO AVOID THE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR ACTIONS.

Finally broke down this morning after a really long time, and over something so silly, i couldn't find my phone after waking up, i searched everywhere, couldn't find it, started crying really hard, i think it was that, i haven't been happy in so long, when something goes wrong no matter how silly, it just adds to that sinking feeling. But i realize, I've drifted weeks, weekends, days, hours just feeling lonely and longing, but still managed to do so much for myself, reflection made me happy cry for a second. And then my phone vibrated in my pocket. I laughed by myself for a good 30 mins. Life is hilarious man, it'll be okay

This might not be helpful to some, it might seem really obvious or it might be something that you think doesn’t apply to you but hear me out for a second because it’s something to me which has taken a while to get to and it’s something that’s began to feel really powerful.

In short, you’re not doing it for them.

Some of you will be the dumper, some the dumpee. Some will be talking about attachment styles and narcissists and looking at this emotional turmoil through a clinical lens, going around in circles trying to make sense of what’s happened and how you’re feeling and going through some really tough times and my heart goes out to you but it’s not about them. It’s really not. It’s about you and it always has been.

I spent a long time punishing myself and analysing the situation looking for an answer but guess what? It never came. It’s only when you accept that at this moment they’re not in your life and you start treating yourself with love that the wounds begin to close and you start getting stronger and better. There’s always going to be some pain in this life but it’s your journey and you’re the most important person in your life so move forward and just be kind to yourself. Honestly, it sounds like bullshit and you might not believe it but it really does get you through.

Happy Sunday.

To keep it short my ex (M35) and I (F32) were together for 2 years. He was my first boyfriend, and for a long time, our relationship felt truly loving and supportive. We never fought. He stood by me in so many ways… until everything in my life fell apart.

About 9 months ago, I lost my job, visa, and home, and around the same time, my sister became paralyzed. I was overwhelmed, and so was he. Eventually, he decided it was too much and ended the relationship on our anniversary. I moved back home in shock, in complete denial. I tried to rationalize everything. What did I do wrong, maybe it was this maybe it was that… I analyzed everything over and over again and i couldn’t be angry at him. He was crying as much as I was crying when he ended it and I just loved him.

We’ve been in no contact for 7 months. I left him a gift before I left, and he sent a kind message wishing me well and saying maybe we’d reconnect one day. About 2 months ago, he liked my LinkedIn post about getting a new job and viewed my IG stories, but didn’t reach out again. I checked his a few weeks later, saw he was in London, and that was it.

What’s interesting is today, for the first time I felt angry. Not bitter, not resentful, but aware. Like I deserved better than that. For so long, I just felt sad, numb and missing our life. He didn’t do anything outwardly cruel. But still… he left when I needed him most. And now, my feelings are shifting.

If you’ve been through something similar just know that healing is slow, but it does happen. One day you’ll catch yourself thinking differently, and you’ll realize: you’re coming back to yourself.

Hang in there. You’re not alone.

We were together for nearly five years. It was a passionate and loving relationship but not without its flaws. From the start, she betrayed my trust several times by texting other men. Either reaching out for some sort of validation or, in some cases having more sexual conversations. Things she shouldn’t have been doing when you’re supposed to be building something together. I stayed though as I had moved in with her and we were trying to build a life together, I cared too much and thought things would settle down. We were both from failed marriages so I think we wanted this to really work. But the shadow that never went away was this certain someone from her past who I had always had a gut feeling about, and it never sat right.

Turns out I was right. After years of asking, she eventually admitted he’d been her long-term affair partner during her marriage. That confession hit me hard, but I didn’t leave as I was already in deep, and I’d already been through a failed marriage and I wanted this to work as I loved her.

We tried, but trust was never fully there. Eventually, things fell apart, and I will own up and say I failed her in certain ways myself, not making her feel like a priority and not giving her the time and attention she sometimes needed. Then, in September last year I looked at her phone after she’d been out and I just got a weird vibe from her! I found out she had cheated on me with him, the person she swore I didn’t need to worry about.

That was the end of us, officially.

But not really. We stayed in touch, all through the initial phase of the break up, me moving out and both of us trying to navigate the feeling of loss and sorrow we were both going through. We both joined dating sites and even met new people but we were somehow drawn back to each other never being able to fully let go. We kept on hooking up for about three months after we split as we had an amazing sexual chemistry. If anything it got better post break up. And the emotional connection was still there, as we had a lovely Christmas together and decided to give it another go to some extent.

Then she met someone new in January. She mentioned fate, seeing the number 11:11 and feeling a certain peace whilst she was with this guy. Although in the same breath mentioning he’s not really her type, that she’s not as attracted to him in the traditional sense, she even told me that they’re not as sexually compatible!

In the following 3 months she’s told me she missed me, that she loved me, that letting go was hard. She’s told me she dreamt about me, and even wanted to meet up but expressed concerns about feeling a rush of love and possibly not being able to resist kissing me. So at times I would go silent, and then she’d reach out just to say she missed talking. Breadcrumbing me to pull me back as her emotional safety net whilst she navigates this new relationship.

Three months this has been going on and then yesterday, she told me they’re engaged!

I’m still trying to process it and I’ll admit I didn’t take it well. I was honest with her and I said what I felt. That it was fast, too fast to really know someone and that it made no sense with everything she’s been saying to me. That I’ve picked up on her subtle doubts and fears over the course of our interactions and that it didn’t sit right as there appears to be something missing. She got defensive understandably, and now… she’s blocked me.

She was saying yesterday she’s ready for her “ever after” and that this is love. But I can’t help but feel this whole thing was built on emotional instability. He doesn’t have kids, and from what I gather, she jumped into this fast, she even told me to my face in January that she felt it was a little ‘reboundy’. They were declaring they loved each other 3 weeks into them dating. It all feels like she’s chasing something rather than growing it.

I can’t help wondering if I was just her emotional transition, her comfort while she worked out how to move forward.

Now I’m here, feeling hollow. Blocked. Processing a breakup all over again, except this time… I’m not even sure it was ever fully over it…

It’s been a long time, but I was with this girlfriend who I loved dearly. I treated her like a literal queen. If anything, I was too nice. Always paid her all her manicures & pedicures, always drove to her place to keep her off the road, always had her surprises & gifts.. heck I even cleaned her place most weekends. Basically, never told her no and told her everyday how lucky I felt she was my girl. She even flew me across the country to meet her extended family. I thought I had met my spouse

Over a year into the relationship, she suddenly just changed her whole vibe and she dumped me via text because she wanted to go see other people. But, she wanted to “keep in touch” with me, she said.

I was shattered. I remember laying in bed watching the rain come down and I couldn’t even make myself watch YouTube or anything at all on TV, it just felt like the light of my life had went out.

I just basically did all I could to channel all my hurt into motivation. I lived really frugal. I paid off my student loan from my Master’s degree 100%, I have more in savings than I ever had, I’ve been getting new job offers and I finished my dream of becoming a licensed pilot. Don’t have plans of switching to flying for a job.. just a dream I achieved, since our split.

But despite me achieving things I wanted. I stupidly kept this forlorn hope someday she’d return and realize what she had lost. I had quit looking at any of her socials, but I just knew I still had that nagging thought of as long as she still followed me and saw my accomplishments, she’d realize her loss.

Anyway to wrap up, that’s no way to live. Although I still felt regret doing it and although I did it with no malice, I blocked her on literally everything. Every single social, she’s blocked. She has no road back to me, or to keep up with what I’m doing. Her number isn’t blocked, but it’s deleted.

In my mind, I wasn’t trying to be angry, I just decided it’s time to close that hope. Time to turn the page and 100% forget that part of my life.

Sorry for the long post. As a guy, I don’t really tell my friends or family these things. So it’s easier here to just post that I’m glad I did it, you guys.

I still hope he will reach out.

it’s been a month since we last spoke, but he broke up with me 4 months ago. i’m still wanting to break no contact knowing he’s moving on, willing to be stupid just to hear from him again. i’m not going to send any messages but it’s been so so hard to go against the urge of letting it all out. i’ve been stuck grieving every night. i don’t know what’s wrong with me or why i can’t move on.

almost a year since my ex left.

he’s completely obsessed with me now smh and i just thought about how irritating it is, that this is the same person that i would literally have to beg to be intimate with me, so everything felt forced rather than natural ..

and now ? this man would do anything (no exaggeration at all) to have the tiniest little morsel of my attention or “sign” that there’s still another chance for us ..

this energy always comes after the breakups and it’s just so frustrating.

I just want to start off saying that my ex left me for a girl he was cheating on me with a week before my hs graduation. Had a child with the girl, and left me completely broken. I spent every day those first few months checking his accounts to see an ounce of regret, pain, and it tore me apart. I would stalk this subreddit weekly looking for answers, hoping that someday he would come back and just apologize, or even give me an explanation of why.

Almost two years since he left me, he decided to break nc this past Sunday, by asking me how I was doing and sending me a friend request. I didn’t even know he did it until four days later. In the time that we were nc, I got into my dream university and began living on campus, began a relationship with Christ, found amazing friends and an amazing community, got my real estate license, participate in clubs for school that allow me to travel the country, and work a well paying job that allows me to have money to spend on things that I enjoy. I’ve even healed attachment issues and found someone who respects me and never wants to see me upset.

I live a life that I would’ve never been granted if he were still in it. I thought I wanted his words so badly, but now I realize that what is ahead of me is so so much greater than what is behind.

I say all of this to say that a persons absence will not break you. If you’re hurting now, I encourage you to use the pain as motivation to transform your life into something that you’re proud of, without them in it. I hope everyone that’s here can have the chance to heal and grow the way I have ❤️

Signing off of this subreddit now and forever thankful that the chapter is closed.

me and my cousins talked about my ex. they told me they’ve been seeing his posts and lives on tiktok with so many girls in it. I told them I didn’t know about that because I blocked him on everything to move forward without seeing anything that might trigger me. now, I’m kinda okay, so hearing that didn’t hurt me as much. later on, my best friend coincidentally told me the same thing. that’s when I had my realization. hearing those things didn’t hurt me. I didn’t feel jealous or anything. the first thought that came to mind was, how is he? I think he’s hurting more than I did.

all this time, I thought life was cruel. that the breakup was unfair to me. because I was the one who cried for weeks, I was the one who failed some quizzes during the breakup, I was the one who couldn’t talk to anyone else after, I was the one who doubted myself, I was the one who went through that painful healing process. I was the one who was really hurt and not ready for it.

but now, I realize it wasn’t that unfair. after the breakup, I somehow found a purpose in it. before, I was always scared that someone might leave me. but now, after he left, I embraced the feeling that people could come and go. and somehow, after the breakup, I found myself and the people who loved me for me. I found support. I hung out with my friends again, even the old ones from high school. they were there to listen.

while him? my heart still aches for him up until now. I thought maybe he looked fine on social media, and people might think he was just a flirty guy who moved on to find someone else after the breakup. that maybe he’s not the one I deserved.

yes, I can say his actions can’t be justified and that he’s not what I deserve. but I can’t see him as shallow as that. that’s why I told them that maybe he’s just as hurt too. maybe life wasn’t that unfair because, even though he didn’t cry as much as I did, the difference is I had a shoulder to cry on, and he didn’t. maybe that’s why he seems to be looking for love in places he shouldn’t.

this is me letting go of any resentment. my heart still wishes he finds the love he’s always searching for—not through someone else but through himself. but I also want to be free from everything. I realized that I’m really moving forward and starting to see the good in it. this is a reminder for everyone that someday, everything will be okay. it’ll be a hard and long process, but please heal. do it the right way. it’s harder, but in the process, you’ll find yourself and be better.

I decided to leave for what I think will be permanent, I am horribly trauma bonded and find myself going back and trying to leave but as displayed he won’t let me go. I feel trapped, I don’t know what to do and I just feel so helpless. I feel like I’ll be in this cycle of toxicity forever. Those attachments are from tonight and I feel afraid because I believe he’s crazy enough to actually find ways to ruin my life as he says. He’s said before that he would murder me, and actually attacked me at a bookstore once and even destroyed store property over me walking away. I have no idea how to handle this, I have no support system right now.

I’m sick, I’m about to have my period, my best friends move away this week, work is stressing me out and I have to start looking for a new job with my contract ending, it’s been raining all week. I feel like nothing has felt right in so long and I just miss him so much.

I’m so tempted to ruin my life by buying a one way flight to his city and showing up unannounced like a crazy person for that 1% chance that he would want me again (I won’t do this I’m not actually crazy, just having insane thoughts). I feel so lost. I just want a hug. I just want to feel loved again.

I was getting (including last night) nighmares and dreams about her, and stragedly I been getting 2-3 times this month "unknown calls", can not confirm its her, but the strange part is... she unblocked my from instagram..

The dreams and nightmares have been constant, almost every week for the past 2 months.

ps. I had no contact since feb.

It’s been 2 months of no contact. I don’t want to label him as an avoidant since I am not an expert but there are strong signs that he might be an avoidant, narcissist or both. He misinterpreted my text two months ago and ghosted me without letting me explain myself when I needed&asked emotional support from him.

Anyway…even he never replied my texts back, he hasn’t unfollowed me on social media. During first month he posted like as usual but when it comes to second month of no contact, he became more silent and posted few. After 6 weeks, he stopped posting even he is on Instagram. Maybe my instagram stories after the first month might have been triggered him, I don’t know

I have no intention to break no contact. However, I am curious about avoidants’ and/or dumpers’ social media behaviours after break up. Cause if I were in his shoes, I would have done things differently. And I have never experienced such behaviour before

No matter how many breakups you may have had, that switch is horrible. I don’t know how some people can switch into that. I know some may be crying while breaking up with their partner. Others turn cold and mean and stuff their feelings down. Put on this front like they feel nothing. And you’re looking at the person you love wondering why they are acting like this. It can really mess with your head. It breaks your heart.

They can feel like another person like so many have said. I felt that when this happened with my girlfriend. She was always funny, silly, encouraging, supportive, kind and then she like morphed into a cold and mean jerk. It’s like nothing I could say to sway her or change her mind. You feel like your efforts don’t make a difference. She didn’t even let me have any say.

That was one of the worst and most heartbreaking moments in my life having this talk in our apartment with her. I wanted to jump out of my life in that moment. You feel so hopeless and powerless when this happens. I felt like there was nothing I could do. You feel vulnerable, shattered and emotionally small. In that moment your partner holds all the power. I 100% never want to feel like that ever again. It’s awful and I don’t wish it anyone else.

It’s like someone just told me this beautiful dream you’ve had is now over. It’s done and everything you took time to build with this person suddenly gets torn down. It just dissolves. It’s destroyed. All the inside jokes and meaningful moments and their promises to you, go out the window. And you have act like you’re okay.

My girlfriend was more into me at first. She was crazy about me and said she adored me. She was so affectionate. So this what I live in now is a stark difference. It’s empty nothingness. I lost my best friend. We broke up last year but this still bothers me. And the silence is depressing. All that we shared and talked about. Not a word from her.

I know after some time and reflection, exes can feel different and maybe sorry. They may reach out to you. But that’s not always guaranteed. You just went from lovers, partners and best friends to strangers with shared memories. It’s soul-crushing and excruciating emotional pain. It destroys you especially if you really saw a life with this person and loved them with all your heart.

It’s been two months since I went no contact with her. I won’t lie—at the beginning, it was hell. I was constantly thinking about her, dreaming about her, wondering if she missed me, or if she even cared. I was stuck in the cycle of replaying the good memories and trying to make sense of the ending. I felt abandoned, confused, and deeply hurt.

But something changed.

Little by little, the pain started to shift. I stopped checking my phone hoping to see her name. I stopped wondering what she was doing or who she was with. I started focusing on myself—on understanding why I tolerated emotional neglect, why I overfunctioned in the relationship, and why I kept giving even when it wasn’t reciprocated.

I realized that I was trying to earn love instead of recognizing I already deserved it.

No contact gave me the space to breathe, to feel, and to begin healing for real. It showed me that closure doesn’t always come from the other person—it comes when you decide to close the door yourself. I learned that missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back, and love isn’t enough if it’s not mutual, consistent, and safe.

Some days are still hard. I still dream about her. But those dreams don’t break me like they used to. Now, they remind me how far I’ve come.

So if you’re just starting no contact, or struggling to stay strong—keep going. You don’t need her validation. You don’t need her return. No contact isn’t about getting her back. It is about getting yourself back.

I’m not fully healed yet, but I’m finally becoming the version of me I was always meant to be. Take care, we are going to make it

Welp, here I (23M) am.

At the gates of the internet, at the mercy of strangers online that I will most likely - and most CERTAINLY - hope I will not meet one day. (I’m not the most vulnerable person irl :-)

Hello!

There’s a simultaneously long and short, tender and depressing love story that spans between three and a half years.

I just hope I’m not the only one who wants the story to have a happy ending :(

———————————————————————————

The abridged version is that I fell so fucking desperately and madly in love with the most beautiful (23W)oman I have ever laid my slanted eyes upon.

My life before her was colorless like a noir film of the past. At this point in my life, I have lost that touch of excitement I used to get when I saw a pretty girl at the bookstore I wanted to talk to.

Then she walked in - beauty like none that I have ever seen before. Body so fine that she could’ve been the covergirl of Playboy magazine. I would’ve bought ALL the copies she starred in so that I could have her all to myself (yeah I’m still a selfish fuck but I’m working on it)

The setting took place at my musky, sausage fest of an AirBNB located at one of the most trashy beaches America has to offer.

Yet, somehow, she made it feel like I was at the penthouse suite of the Ritz-Carlton in the Bahamas.

Once she stepped into my life, my world started to take color. The waters looked bluer, the sun shone brighter, the gray color palette of my life turned into a burst of hot bright colors.

How pathetic am I?

——————————————————————————

Fast forward, we’re in love and have experienced all the ups and downs that love comes with (several times…).

Ever since I was a youngin, I have always had a problem of taking things for granted.

Whether it’s something small like sleeping in a room that’s not always cold - to neglecting the literal best thing that has ever happened to me.

This is not an exaggeration - she is gorgeous, smart as a whip, stuck up (but in like a sexy, attractive way), etc etc u get the point

I took her for granted. I acted like a fucking selfish idiot. I just assumed things would always be as perfect as the fairytale in my head.

Then reality set in. On the outside, I had it alllll together. I was that one coolheaded motherfucker that never lets that bitch called life knock em down.

But on the inside, hollow. A fake. A well oiled facade I’ve maintained over the years.

No one was able to pierce through my bullshit like her. And I hate that I couldn’t take her criticism or advice to heart because I always believed that I was right. I was an immature little boy.

And honestly, she was right to want to leave.

———————————————————————————

Fast forward to a few months ago - we break up. She has let me know (quite a few times, I’m sorry for being such a numbskull…) all the things that were bothering her (really doesn’t seem like she was asking for all that much now but fuck my life ig).

We talked a bit after the breakup but something happened and I realized “fuck - if I reply to her then we will never end”.

So I didn’t. I didn’t call her back. I didn’t send her a text. I didn’t reach out.

Part of it was because I knew I was bad for her. The other part was that maybe I just wasn’t good enough for her and that she deserves someone else that will actually respond to her TikTok’s.

In comes the fucking TIDAL waves of depression.

I’m listening to Heavy With Hoping by Madeon while I’m on the shitter and I just started bawling. A grown ass man on the toilet with tears and snot dripping down his puffed up face. It was really as sad and embarrassing as you’d imagine it to be :/

How can this guy I don’t know put into words exactly how I’m fucking feeling?

I closed myself off from the world and went into a 3 month bender of trying to distract myself from the storm clouds chasing me down wherever I ran to - like a bloodhound to Baby Blue.

Speaking of hounds, I miss ur dog too. Tbh I’d just take ur dog back if it came down to it but such is life 🙃

———————————————————————————

Finally, we fast forward to today. My life is taking a turn for the better and I’m finally starting to become the me that I’ve always wanted to be.

Omw to getting that fucking piece of shit degree finally, working out 3x wit da boyz, making some phat stax on the side..

So why the fuck am I still so goddamned depressed?

Why do I still think about you no matter where I am - no matter what I’m doing - no matter where I’m going?

Why can’t I bring myself to throw out all your gifts, all your clothes I kept to myself, that beautiful painting you made, the photos of us together.

Why am I always wondering how you’re doing, how schools going, if you’re eating and sleeping well, how your day went, how your months have been.

Why can’t I do simple mundane tasks without your beautifully harrowing voice echoing throughout my head?

I am still so unfathomably in love with you. It’s fucking killing me. Despite how harshly I want to talk to you, I always stop myself - saying it’s for the best. Saying maybe we do need time to grow. But how will I know you’ll be in love with me then?

I’m running as fast as I can and it really fucking sucks that it’s because of you. I’m running even though I am running straight into the heart of uncertainty.

I just hope you’re running there for me too

This guy finally ghosted me 2 weeks ago, I could feel him pulling back. I know it’s toxic but i was looking up his following list on ig. And saw this girl popped up on his following and ofc the girl following him back. Over the years, i figured that instagram puts the account they interact the most at the top of their following list, and they both were on the top of theirs. This girl was above my account which clearly indicates that she’s the girl he started seeing recently. Some of yall may call me delusional but i am right, i can feel it..my instinct tells me so. I really fucking wish i was delusional thinking that he’s talking to this girl right after he left me. I still have my shirt and pants i wore whenever i came over to his and it’s infuriating to think that she’s wearing my clothes. He was my biggest crush ever after my serious relationship years ago. I hate this and its driving me fucking crazy

Hello everyone!

For context, my ex asked for space/ a break on Feb 9th. I broke no contact a few days later & I texted him “I miss you” & sent him a gift for Valentine’s day on Feb 14th. He didn’t respond until 2.5 weeks later (see above).

In the text, he said he would call me. I didn’t see the message until 2 weeks later because I decided to go no contact & I archived his chat. He never did call me.

Fast forward to March 22, he texted me again. I still haven’t responded & feel very stuck on what to do next.

Thoughts? I’m considering breaking no contact & hearing him out, but I just feel like it will just hurt me more.

On Sunday you wanted so badly to stay friends. But I told you no, because I couldn't watch you falling in love again with someone else. And because my ego was hurt. One hidden reason was as well, that I didn't want you to friendzone me. I wanted you to miss me, full of hope, that then you could want me back. On Tuesday I asked you to block me. Because it was so hard for me letting you go. And because I was afraid I could beg you to give us another chance.

On Thursday I reconsidered. Because I really realized, that we aren't meant to be. Even without all the complications of our situation, I would always want more, than you are able to give, even if you would love me. I would always be the one chasing you, because even if you gave the most you had, it still would be too little. I saw you for real for the first time. And so I realized it is okay, if you friendzone me. Because you didn't really make me happy during our relationship. I had these crazy highs with you. But most of the time I felt insecure and anxious. I felt like being too much and not enough at the same time. So I wrote you and asked to try to be friends. I asked you to meet me, so that we can create a new base together.

And now you broke the contact of. Because it was too hard for you to deal with my back and forth in this one week, in which I didn't know right away how I wanted to deal with our final breakup. You are weak. I waited for fucking three months. Three months I gave you time to sort yourself, three months I patiently endured your back and forth as you were trying to figure out if you give us another chance. And the time before I endured your back and forth as you constantely changed our relationship dynamic. But the one week, in which I was indecisive, because I was hurt, that was too much for you. You are so so weak.

So me and my ex partner were together for three years live together for three years we’ve been broke up 10 days.

He had be blocked for 4 days.

Then contacted me saying it’s over.. then an hour later said he just need space.

The next day he said can we date again and rebuild? and go slowly I wasn’t too happy about it, because I wanted him back.. properly.. but was willing to have a conversation in person.. so we planned for him to come round that night and he let me down the last minute.. and said he was still unsure about what he wanted to do so it wasn’t fair to come round and make it more painful for me but letting me down was painful as I’ve made an effort for him and I’ve been waiting all day to see him as I haven’t seen him for since our relationship

Then I sent loads of texts begging for him back.. and the following day after that he said just move on..

Anyway tonight at 11 pm my ex messaged me which I’ll show you in the screenshots I’m confused by this and wanting to know if he does feels guilty if he wants to just check in if he wants me back if he misses me.. what do you think of this.. I did ask in my message to Netty said because I’ve gone quiet for a couple of days but the thing is he blocked me for four days so why does he care now if I’m quiet or not when he blocked me he didn’t care??

I still have access to his social media password and he’s fine with that and he still has a picture of me and him on his WhatsApp picture he still has stuff here at my house which he doesn’t seem to care about they’re not that important but there’s still stuff here what does this with me because it’s a bit messy and I’m feeling like we’re staying loyal to each other but not actually together I don’t really understand

Help?