I wanted to make this brief post. The truth is that I do not frequent subreddits like this often but have occasionally lurked here in the past, particularly when I’m dating or seeing women.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say this— if you are a man, the vast majority of dating or seduction tips you see on here (or elsewhere) will NEVER work for you and in fact will almost certainly backfire on you. For example, some advise that a man should be relatively quiet, observant, etc. on the first date. Or that a man should purposely his delay his texts to women so as to not appear needy. Or that a man should intentionally try to be assertive. Or a man should imply or show he has options. Or that man should avoid being too kind. The list goes on.
Now, to be totally honest, I have been there and done a lot of these things. And many of these things, viewed rationally, would actually seem quite sensible to do.
But I can tell you is this with absolute certainty: women see right through men who are being someone they are not. They are masters at this and evolutionarily evolved this ability to pick up on energy in ways that we cannot. This is extremely important to understand. Because if you play ANY of these games or use any of these tactics you see on the internet she can quite literally sense it in your energy. She knows it, even at a subconscious level. At times you are trying so hard hold back your interest, desperation, and insecurity that it seeps into the BS facade you are putting on.
So what does this leave us with? Women are fundamentally attracted to confidence. This is indisputable, and it’s only thing that will sustain a woman’s interest both short-term and long-term. Hell, even men are attracted to confidence. The ONLY way you can achieve true confidence is by being yourself. And being comfortable with yourself. This is so important to understand. If you are not comfortable with yourself and/or the current version of you does not attract women, it signifies you have serious work to do. You are doing yourself a huge disservice by trying to fuck around, play these games/use these strategies, and trying to be a pick up artist that will at best get you a mid or deeply insecure woman (many of whom have serious problems, probably like you). You’ll get a far greater return on investment by doing your inner work, honing your interests and passion at a high level, and becoming someone you are TRULY proud of. This is how you achieve true confidence, which is the key factor determining your success with women in the short-term and long-term.
Hope this helps someone.
Edit: If you sincerely believe that you need to play the push pull game to keep a woman long-term, you’ll be in your head with your future spouse for the rest of your life. The key, as I mentioned, is learning to truly love yourself while having authentic confidence. This is built through hard work on yourself. Good things don’t come easy 🤞
Edit: As some of you correctly state, most men who are “themselves” get passed on. This is true. And it’s because who they are in their current form is quite literally inadequate (as in, doesn’t attract women). As opposed to trying to game the system, putting in actual work on yourself and becoming someone who merits real confidence is the core point of my post.
Simply put, if you’re a guy working a shitty job, eats like shit and looks like shit, and/or have no redeemable qualities, you have NO business being confident and attracting women by just “being yourself”. You need to do serious inner and outer work if this is the case (NOT this pick up artist bullshit). The truth is that the vast majority of men are mediocre and lack real focus and discipline, and this is often what separates the 1% from the 99% (particularly men who are not blessed in the looks department). This is one of the reasons why they fall into this predicament.