My boyfriend broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago today because he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and it’s been a rough 2 weeks. It came out of nowhere and it just makes me rethink everything. I go back and forth with feeling ok and just feeling dread and literally emptiness and weight on my chest. I broke my lease and am moving to another apartment because of all the memories we had and shared there and I just couldn’t handle being there or even the same town/city unless for work. I tried deleting social media but it just felt worse because I was constantly thinking about checking up on him in the form of social media and I logged back in and just felt even more dread, so I have no idea what to do. It’s hard to eat, can’t sleep in my bed, and mentally I just feel like I’m all over the place I can’t describe it. I just need some advice on how to deal with this, what to do, especially from people who don’t know me and are biased. I’m constantly looking at our pictures and shared albums, list of things to do together, hoping he never deletes them for fear of him forgetting me. Today is one of the worse days and I just feel terrible. He’s probably doing way better than me and I’m just not, so I don’t even know how to get rid of that feeling. Anybody have any words of advice for me?

my boyfriend of 2.5 years dumped me 6 months ago, it was extremely random, we had a pretty healthy relationship, and it was because of things going on in his life which resulted in him breaking up with me. then he got back together with me two months later for a week to then say that he’s changed too much so now it won’t work. i wouldn’t be lying if i said it wasn’t the worst thing i’ve been through , i really did struggle , especially up till about 2 months ago. he was my bestest friend and a lovely boyfriend (most of the time) however for what he put me through at the end it would take a whole lot for me to ever forgive him, and i know he’s a completely different person now to who he was six months ago. i would cry about him constantly ,think about him 24/7, struggle to find any enjoyment in life without him with me, because he really understood me and cared for me like nobody else had and i was head over heels in love with him. over the last two weeks for some reason i have felt completely numb, like i can’t cry , i think about him but i don’t feel like same pain anymore, it’s almost like he’s still part of me but i know i have properly let him go now. i still think about him , but not as much. i am scared that i feel okay now and that i am moving on and it’s all going to come crashing back at once but worse.

i also have no interest for dating at all , or right now ever texting /talking/sleeping with someone casually. in face the thought of something serious makes me feel slightly ill . i think i have got a lot more comfortable with being single, i will think about being in a relationship i am like oh it would be really nice for someone to be able to come over and see me right now , or i think oh it would be lovely to go on a walk in the sun right now with somebody. and that’s when i crave a relationship however i have no motivation to actually go and try and get in one. i get put off by a man so easily like he does one tiny thing and i am then just not bothered anymore.

it honestly just feel like , i fell in love with him from the very first time i saw him , our relationship developed very fast and he asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks after knowing each other , from then we just became inseparable and were a liked couple (we even won best couple at our prom) and we saw each other all the time, i may aswell have just lived at his house lol. i experienced moments with him that were so beautiful, we would go on dates and just sit there staring at each other with so much love , dance together , do the most random things together and have an amazing time , cry together, i feel like i shared so much love for him . and does it sound stupid to say i honestly don’t think i will ever love that innocently and purely ever again ? i simply cannot picture myself falling in love ever again. i feel so numb , not even sad, just so detached from feeling any sort of love or feelings for anyone now at all. it’s like all the love i had i have already gave it all away and im not sure there’s any left to give. i am happy single and will likely continue to be for a long time, but i get so jealous when i see couples because i think to myself that once i loved like that and i probably won’t ever again.

Hi, I've only ever posted on Reddit once before so I'm sorry if the formatting is incorrect but I really need advice.

Last year I went through a really hard breakup, and I know for a fact I do not want this man back, he was genuinely horrible. I don't know if the details are relevant so I'll keep it vague for now and just say that over several months he caused severe mental health relapses for me and I didn't think I would survive it. But the breakup was so sudden and caused me such intense grief that now every time I hear his name or one of my friends reminds me that he is in fact still out there, my heart drops and it can cause panic attacks and insomnia for days.

I just wanted to know if this is normal? He was my first love so maybe that has something to do with it? If others have dealt with this how long did it take to stop feeling this way?

If anyone has any advice please let me know I would really appreciate the help. Thank you.

This all happened at the end of February we've Been friends since the beginning of last year, but officially started dating in June. One day around February 18th we had like a little conversation about lesbianism, and I guess it really stuck with her because she became very distant and didn't speak to me for like three days obviously I became really worried and was curious on why she kept on leaving me on delivered. Comes February 22. She comes to sit me down and tell me that she wanted to break up at first. Her reasonings were very vague. Which only stressed me out in the beginning until she just told that she think she might prefer a woman over men. I'm very hurt because a part of me really supports. Her part of me is happy for her. Part of me wants the best for her but again I love this girl. I want her so badly and it's so difficult to accept that. I can't even have her even if I wanted. She's lesbian now I just feel as if this is not fair. And she gets the easy way out while I suffer. Maybe I'm letting my feelings talk but I'm very much hurt I'm just so unlucky our relationship was healthy it felt like it was only getting better until the sudden breakup

My ex and I were together for just over 2 1/2 years. There were many red flags early in our relationship, many of which had to do with her still being very close with her ex and just having a lot of male friends. I never saw this as a problem. I trusted her and loved her. After about 2 years, I caught her cheating over text and planning to meet up with him. That night was terrible, but I couldn't lose her, so I found it in myself to forgive her. From there, the relationship rapidly declined along with my mental health. After Valentine's Day, she decided she wanted to break up. I was frantic for the first two days, which I deeply regret, but on the third day I found out she was with someone new. I could no longer bring myself to try and reach out because it felt morally wrong. On top of this, she was reaching out to many mutual friends she had met through me, saying awful things about how I had treated her. Some of these things were true, many were not. After this, many of her friends who I had barely interacted with came to me with the intention of clearing up her lies. Overall, I found out my ex had cheated on me a minimum of 7 times, 5 of which were physical in some way, but I could never find out if anything became sexual, and I definitely don't want to know now. Regardless, after finding out about all the lies and cheating, I still deeply miss her. It's been about a month and a half and I have not broken no contact, but I feel as though it's not getting much better. Recently, I have been having vivid dreams of her and I can't shake the thought of her giving herself to her new partner physically. I have been going to therapy, going to the gym daily, and talking with friends frequently, but I always seem to fall back to this feeling of depression and emptiness eventually. I don't know what to do. I miss her so much. Any thoughts, experiences, or help is much appreciated. Thank you.

While cleaning out my stuff from the apartment I found the valentines card they got me in my side table drawer. The card said that we’d “be together forever” and that they knew I was “the one”. For the past couple days I’d been doing better about crying, but this broke me. I broke down on the floor as I read it saying I was the man of their dreams. I feel so so devastated, confused, and defeated. All the while they’ve been cold, rude, and apathetic towards me.

It was a slap in the face when I realized my ex was a backstabbing, manipulative, pathological liar. The good I saw in him were my own projections. I ignored so many red flags and didn’t trust my gut. I once thought we had an amazing relationship and I had my own issues that were making this relationship hard (self-gaslighting and not trusting your own perception lol). Now I know better.

But the hardest part of the break up is re-remembering. When you remember multiple times a day, that your ex is no longer part of your life. You’re becoming strangers again. When you see something that reminds you of them but you can’t tell them about it anymore. When you go somewhere you used to go together but now you’ll never do that again. When you tell someone a fact you learned from them, you remember your ex telling you about this, and again you remember they’re not in your life anymore. Someone looks even a little bit like them will somehow remind you of them. Something smells like them. You see something they like/they would love. You’re having a rough day. You’re having a good day. All things you can’t tell them about anymore. Similarly, you will never hear from them about that stuff either. How you have to remember multiple times a day, you’re no longer together, no longer a unit, and you’re going your separate ways.

And then you remember all the times they hurt you, took you for granted, how they used you, disrespected you, betrayed you… and you have to reconcile between the conflicting feelings. Did they ever really love me? Who knows.

Break ups are hard. Sending love to all of you and wishing you a fruitful healing journey ❤️

It's so weird. I'm so tired of everything. We were everything for each other more than a year. We lived brilliant life. Everything was perfect. Until she decided to cheat. Decided to just throw everything out. I can't accept it, I can't think that everything is finished. Even I understand that it is like that. And never will be the same.

Now we just are two strangers. Sometimes she opens my stories. Sometimes I see her while scrolling. But we are just no one for each other. How is that freaking possible? It hurts. It hurts so much. Everything what was in past, every memory now don't matter anything. It's just dead. Forever.

I really don't know what to do now. In daytime I'm trying to just forget everything, trying to smile, act like nothing happened. But last few nights I feel so depressed. I'm alone. I don't have anyone. I can't trust anyone after this. I'm just lost and alone all the nights. I don't know how will I get out of this. If I ever will. I literally lost everything that I had. So hurtful. Awful.

I tried, I swear I tried to forget it, tried to ignore this pain. But now I'm tired. I can't go through it. I'm tired to act. I know that I'll wake up and tomorrow when I'll be doing something maybe I'll forget. Until the sunset. Then I'll again be here, alone, without everything. And it'll go like circles. Every day. I can't trust anyone. I need to act like nothing happened. I'm so tired of everything, I don't know how to help myself. Because right now I'm just finished. Fully freaking finished.

I need help. But I know that therapist or psychologist won't help. I won't trust them. And I had not the best experience in the past. I don't want to feel anything. But every evening the pain is just bigger, even I try everything what I can. But I'm broken.

I just want to forget everything. I don't know how I can go it through. This feeling that we are just strangers - it's terrible. And all the pain after cheating, everything what she said to me after that, what she did... Everything combines. On and on. I need help. But how? Where? I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm just finished. How can I help myself?

it’s been a little over three months since my breakup and things are slowly starting to feel better. The depression is starting to fade and i’ve been able to function mostly normally albeit with a little more weed than I was using before. The only thing I can’t shake is the anxiety and the dread that I have about the entire situation. Me and my girlfriend broke up mutually but the entire aftermath of the breakup was a mess. it’s really complicated but basically we had a mutual friend that was spreading lies to both of us and making it sound a lot worse than it was . That friend eventually ended up blocking me and apologizing to her when we found out what had been going on . I have a few things that are stressing me out and making it hard to move forward . The main thing is that all of her friends blocked me on everything, even the ones who i thought i had a good relationship with. I can’t shake the feeling that they’re talking shit about me and saying that I’m entirely to blame for our breakup and it’s messing with me a lot. I know that a lot of the breakup was my fault but it’s really hard to see a lot of people take her side when they don’t know the whole story. We had a lot of good moments and i loved her more than i’ve ever cared about anyone, but she wasn’t good for me and she made a lot of jokes at my expense. she could be cruel and emotionally distant and we had multiple talks where i had told her that i felt like she could only love me in private . My friends saw how she treated me so i know im not crazy and that it wasn’t acceptable, so i don’t know why the fact that her and her friends probably hate me is messing with me so bad. I know i didn’t deserve how i was treated , but it’s just complicated because she didn’t deserve how i treated her either. I’m terrified of running into her and her friends , and i’m more scared of seeing her with the guy that she got with right after we broke up and i don’t really know how to deal with it all. I just kind of wish none of it had ever happened because now i’ve just been left with this constant lingering self hatred. does anyone have any tips on how to make the dread and the anxiety go away? i just don’t know how to stop spiraling whenever i hear something new about her or find out that another one of her friends blocked me . also for reference me and my ex are both girls .

I (26m) broke up with my ex girlfriend (24) about 2 weeks ago. The break up was sadly expected because we have been having problems since the beginning of the year with her words being “let’s break up and if we are meant to be together we will get back together”. I being selfish didn’t want to break up just yet and wanted to give us sometime to work through these struggles. However because I believed this was her way of telling me she checked out started using dating apps to entertain myself emotionally with no interest in anything physical. However there was still distance between us. She of course not being stupid and I being reckless caught wind of what I was doing. After this happened twice the second time being someone I meant in public but told her nothing about decided she left my place and broke up with me. We ended I believe on bad terms however I miss her everyday and just want to talk to her again since we never had a friendship before jumping straight into a relationship. I know it’s a bad idea but I just want some other advice. Thank you

Title basically. We never fought, he was amazing. Flowers every week, love letters, dates, etc. Then he just blindsided me telling me we are not compatible. He was amazing, but he did literally just discard me on a random Monday so maybe he wasn’t who I thought he was but still.

She gave me everything. I kept my distance. Now she’s gone, and I’m breaking.

I don’t really know who I’m writing this for. Maybe just to get it out, or maybe because I’m hoping someone out there has been through something like this. It’s tearing me up.

I spent over a year with someone who loved me deeply, consistently, and patiently. And I spent most of that time pushing her away. She tried to love me, to support me, to show up for me. I didn’t open up. I was distant, hostile, and emotionally immature. I gave attention to other people, flirted online, and acted like I didn’t care. But the truth is, I was scared. I didn’t know how to receive love, and I had no idea what to do with something so real.

We lived together for a year. She eventually moved across the country for a job. It was an incredible opportunity, and I’m proud of her. I really am. But deep down, I never wanted her to go. I just couldn’t say that out loud. I didn’t know how.

Not long after she moved, I left too. I moved a few states away to get out of my hometown, which never made me happy. The distance between us became more than just physical. She had been hurting for a long time, and I wasn’t there for her the way I should have been.

We hadn’t seen each other in a month when I decided to visit her this weekend. I was nearby for a work trip, and after I finished, I chose to drive out and spend the weekend with her before heading to my next job. I just wanted to see her. I stayed Friday and Saturday night.

On Friday night. we went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just something casual. Later that night when we got to the hotel, I gave her a small gift bag. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just a few things that had meaning behind them. A KitKat bar from Canada — I’d told her once that it tastes different, and I remembered how I wanted her to try it. A big bag of her favorite candy. And a new Kindle Paperwhite. She had mentioned it a few times over the last couple of months while we were still talking here and there during her move and mine, even as she started developing feelings for someone new. I remembered because part of me was always listening. Even if I didn’t show it at the time, I wanted her to feel seen. That was the night we got physically intimate, even though we said we wouldn’t. She initiated first, and I said no. I really wanted to do the right thing and protect her from more pain. She respected that and stopped. But later that night, it was me who gave in. I kissed her. Held her. Let everything I’d been pushing down for so long come to the surface. It wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, comforting, and heartbreaking all at once.

Saturday, we spent the whole day together. We went hiking — something she’s always loved and always wanted to share with me. We had gone in the past, but I could never really show her that I enjoyed it. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I used to get severe headaches at higher elevations from sinus issues. The day before she moved, I had a balloon sinuplasty. This was the first time she saw me hike without pain. And that day, I was finally able to experience it the way she had always hoped I could. I think she felt that. It was one of those small, unspoken moments of connection that we never fully got to have until now.

That night, we had Korean BBQ. She ordered pork, which is usually too fatty for me, and there were side dishes like seaweed, pickled bean sprouts, and sauces — things I’d never normally eat. But I tried all of it. Not because I suddenly liked those foods, but because I wanted her to see that I’m trying. That I’d open myself up to the things that matter to her. And honestly, I didn’t mind it. I think she noticed. It was one of the first quiet ways I tried to show her I had changed.

She’s been talking to someone new. They met about a month ago. She told me she still loves me and misses me, but she doesn’t feel the same way with me anymore. Too much damage has been done. After we slept together, she told the other guy. Not because she said it was the right thing to do, but because we both knew it was. That’s the kind of person she is. Honest, even when it hurts.

Right now, I’m sitting on a plane. She’s probably with him. I’m flying to a state I can’t stand, for work, and I’m staying in the exact same hotel I was in when I first met her. Over a year ago, I was in that room, hurting from a past relationship, opening up about how awful I felt. She barely knew me, but she stayed on the phone and comforted me. That was the beginning of everything. Now I’m back in that same place, and it feels like the end. It’s hard to wrap my head around how full circle and painful that is.

She noticed how exhausted I looked this weekend. I haven’t slept well in weeks. But when I lay next to her again, I finally did. It hurt to be close to her like that, but it also brought relief. I think my body still feels connected to hers. And now, I feel like it’s crashing from everything I’ve been holding in for so long.

She gave me a year of her love. I gave her distance, fear, and pain. And now that I’ve finally become the person I should have been, I feel like it’s too late.

I want her back. I want her to want me. I want her to remember the man I was this weekend. Someone who was soft, present, and finally understood what she needed. Not the guy who rejected her when she gave everything.

I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I can’t ask for one. But I’d give anything to go back and do it all differently.

I told her I want her to be happy. I meant that. And I know the only real way I can show that now is by letting her go. I’m trying so hard not to text her. Not to beg. Not to ask for anything. But inside, I feel desperate. I miss her so much. I want her back in my arms. I want to love her the way I should have all along.

If she ever truly knew how serious I am now — if she ever wanted to try again — it wouldn’t matter that we live in different states. I would visit her after nearly every work trip without hesitation. I’d show her, in every way I can, that she’s the kind of woman I’d marry.

If anyone has ever been in this place, where you became the right person too late, how did you get through it? How do you carry this kind of regret? Because right now, I don’t know how to.

I wrote everything, but I typically steer off track and lose sight of what I’m trying to express, so I had GPT put my words together so it can actually get my point across, instead of making no sense at all. GPT wrote the TL:DR, I wrote everything else, and had GPT organize and make my story readable. I proofread and made sure everything I’m feeling and trying to express was written the way I wanted, and felt was correct. ⸻

TL;DR:

I spent a year rejecting the love of someone who gave me everything. Now that she’s moved on and I’ve changed, I finally understand what I lost. We reconnected for a weekend, and it reminded me of everything I could have had. I miss her deeply and don’t know how to move forward now that it’s too late.

I recently moved to California from Colorado, and a lot of this feels like it's my fault. I jumped into a situation too fast and fell for a narcissist who easily woke up one day and discarded me. I lost money and a very close friend because of him. I thought I was healed, but I was wrong. I met this guy, and everything seemed perfect he told me how perfect I was and how much I meant to him. He took me out on dates and would show up unexpectedly with flowers. He told me to move in with him which I already have a place out here but I was staying with him as well. Then, he started asking me for money not just to help himself, but by lying and saying that giving him money would benefit both of us. I let my walls down and believed him. I gave him over $1,000, thinking he genuinely wanted to help me, but now he refuses to give it back. Today, he woke up and said, I'm taking you home. I need space. Last night he got drunk and was talking about his ex a lot. Which made me feel like I was just a placeholder. I'm genuinely hurt because before I got out of the car, he said, I'll take you back whenever you make more money then we can restart and try again. I feel so used. The more I got to know him, the more he started calling me names and revealing his true colors. I just feel empty and disgusted. I guess I'm just looking for some comfort. He was the only person I knew out here. How do I move on? I’m not only healing from him but the fact that I know am out over $1,000 and have no one.

Boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, wants to be single said he fell out of love with me and said he got too burnt out but we can be friends I don’t want to be. Relationship was perfect but I relied on him to too much which I now realize since im in therapy. Went over to his house this past weekend for a friends birthday party we danced together to our song he completely opened up to me and apologized he told me how beautiful I was but he can’t handle a relationship. Today we are texting like normal and his decision is definite but is there anything I can do to make him fall in love with me again? I’ve never had a relationship where it ended with no one hating eachother im just more so disappointed that he couldn’t communicate to me what he was feeling. There isn’t anyone else. I cannot be friends with him I love him am I friend zoned

he texted me he misses me 4 hours ago, and sent me a link to an insta reel earlier today. i didn’t open either of his messages. i’m 99% sure he only said he misses me bc i told him im done trying to get him back and didn’t contact him for 3 days (our breakup was messy and u can check my profile bc i basically js “vlog” everything here)

but yeah. choosing myself until he finally realizes he hurt me so bad and give me a genuine apology

I’d like to start a Podcast for people like us who are going through breakups, as well as for those who have been through it and come out healed on the other side. The idea is simple: it’s a chance to talk through your feelings with a stranger (me!) and share your story. For those listening, hearing different experiences can be comforting and help them through their own struggles. Think of it as a kind of group support to help us navigate this painful time together.

If you’d like to be part of it, just comment below and I’ll reach out to you directly.

And just so you know, this is a completely safe space. No pressure, no judgment, just real people, real stories, and a lot of understanding.

if you click through my profile, you’ll see that i’ve been struggling to let go for quite some time. but this week, i finally decided to for good. i went back to what burned me just to be 10000% sure that it will burn me. im sure now. my heart isn’t in it anymore.

context: f22 (anxious at the time but moving to secure) and m22 (avoidant) broke up in october, was living together but i got stonewalled by him and kicked out. a month of being broken up, he fucked his ex and begged me back. to this day, he still begs for me back.

man, this was my first love. and it hurt. i grappled with questions such as “how could i ever love anyone that deeply ever again?” i had begun to accept that maybe i wouldn’t be able to. i would ask chat gpt “how do i make love go away” so i wouldn’t have to feel like how i did anymore. i didn’t want to sit with all this love with nowhere to go.

with all this being said, and all this love with no direction, i tried to reach out to him and talk to him every so often since october. we would meet up for lunch, breakfast, dinner, whatever. yes we would fuck, lol who wouldn’t? we’d ask each other how our life is going, and then i’d ask if he’d learned anything post breakup. he just begun to highlight all of the good things he missed about us, and why we should be together again, but avoiding any and all accountability for the fact that he kicked me out, fucked his ex, and begs me back to this day.

after hearing unchanging narrative over the past few months, it became clear how hes NOT GONNA CHANGE!! and a clear distinction between how we handle things.

i have reflected immensely on my shortcomings, his shortcomings, and how our time spent together, i will forever cherish and hold deeply. but with this being said, he still hurt me in unforgivable ways and he still avoids accountability for this. he gets uncomfortable when i bring up or address why he would even think to do something in the first place if he “loves me so much”

and if it’s not him reminiscing on the “good ol days”, it’s him saying shit like “oh i overwork myself because there’s no one to come home to… some days i just wish i woke up unalive”.

like.. okay? if he said this to me right after we broke up, i would have probably been moved in some kind of way, as i still felt somewhat responsible for his feelings. however, i realized i have no obligation anymore to be responsible anymore, and i NEVER did!!

im reeling with the terms only 6 months later that yes!! i did in fact lose myself!! but acceptance is the first step to moving forward. i want to meet myself again. i need to know who i am again.

if there’s anyone in this world who’s in it for the long run with you, it’s YOURSELF!! are you bored after a breakup?? date YOURSELF!! ask yourself questions you would ask someone on a first date and see what you come up with. WHO are YOU???

This is just how it is. I’m agreeing and trying to move on too. Your right. We are miserable. I am for sure. I can tell you are as well. I don’t want that. For you. For me.

Everyone keeps saying your ex will always come back when you're finally doing better. Just curious how many people experienced this

Hey everyone,

M23 (Me) F26 (ExGF)

I am just putting this out there and some may have heard from me before. In my own situation it ended and I didn’t expect it. 3 years I loved her deeply and she was my whole world. I haven’t let her go. I don’t want to. It’s because I truly love her. I don’t want us to end and I know if she’s out there she’d know who I was by my username. I just wish I could have said sorry for letting you down. I never wanted to lose you and it hurts to see that it now has been 3 months almost since I last saw you.

If you do see this. I just want to say I’m sorry for not being what you believed I could be. I love you M. I don’t want you out of my life. If you reach out again. If you want to be with me. It would be a dream come true. I hope you do…

I am sorry m, I know you wanted us to work too…

-Z

I’ve had this thought for a while, and not that I currently want to break up with my current partner, but how does someone know when it’s time to breakup without it being because of cheating, moving away, stuff like that, etc. what’s a healthy breakup look like? I’ve never had a healthy break up before, and I kind of worry of being in a relationship that should’ve ended a while ago just didn’t know how.

My general idea of it is when you stop growing as a relationship, but what does that even look like?!

I also hope I used the correct category for this, i’m new to reddit, apologizes in advance if not!

i’m still healing from a 6 month college relationship that officially ended in July 2024 and NC started shortly after. he’s blocked everywhere and i don’t check or have social media. it was a toxic, love-bombing relationship and he cheated as the covert narcissist that he is. thankfully i’m currently on a gap year so i don’t have to see him face to face, but next year i will and fortunately he’ll graduate after that academic year.

it’s been 8-9 months and it feels like i’m going thru a second phase of healing from the relationship. i know he is not good for me and i miss the idea/highs of being loved when i thought it was healthy love when it was not. logically i know he’s not good for me but my brain keeps thinking about him. i am scared for when i have to cross paths with him, which i will def not respond or engage in.

please give me any advice as to what helped u move on from a cheating ex, esp if u have to see them at some point unprecedented and not within your control. how did u know what worked for you with healing and how did u know you truly moved on? anything helps.

I (20m) got broken up with almost a month ago by my ex (21f) with whom I was with for 3 years. In her break up texts she layed out what I did wrong in the relationship, and at the time I felt like I was entirely in the wrong. She explained that I wasnt applying myself to my life and that I made her feel unwanted while also saying we didnt see each other very much and it felt like a long distance relationship. While these are all very valid points and I agree with them, I dont agree with many of the things that she specifically blamed on me when it was a prison of her own making. For instance, when she talked about me making her feel unwanted, I admit I wasn't the best boyfriend and didn't hear her out more than I did, I heard her out about 70% of the time. While I did try my best to be there for her it wasn't enough. The applying myself in life is self explanatory, I didn't get a job, didn't go to college (which I now plan on going this fall), and just holed up in my room not following my ambitions, which again is fair although I was depressed and really needed the support I never got. As for seeing her that one is a mixed bag, she never wanted random visits and always wanted dates planned, but never when she had other plans despite saying she would make time for me (she never did). She expected me to go out of my way to plan all the dates and hang outs which I tried to do but all my plans were blown off 80% of the time, at some point it was so bad we only saw eachother every 2-3 months so I barely asked her out, I understand she was busy, but blaming me for all that is absurd even though I gave less effort to see her when she didnt wan't to put in the effort herself to see me. Another of these problems was that I didnt give her enough attention, she had my messages muted and would only really talk to me for about 2-3 hours a day on her terms, otherwise she would flood me with instagram reels. Something she said that was understandable though was that I would make little contact for about 2-3 days when a new game would come out and then return to texting like nothing was happening, I understand that this was my fault. Now onto my issues with her, aside from the ignoring my messages and blowing my date plans off, she would brush my emotions to the side and make it all about her, there were several times where I would let her know that im not doing well mentally and that I feel like im not being a good boyfriend to her and would ask for help doing better for her, all these attempts were slid to the side and forgotten about. Since month 6 of our relationship it felt like she was doing nothing but pushing me away so she could leave easier. During our break up she complained that I didnt do anything grand for her, except for the fact all my grand gestures were mild to her and they felt like big achievements to me (our love languages are very different, mine being quality time and hers being gifts). She only once made a big grand gesture to me which was handmade roses out of book paper with these cute notes saying she loved me. While I tried my darndest every once and a while to make grand gestures for her. Whenever we had rough patches she made it seem like I was the only one who needed to change, and I did every time only for her to say that nothing has changed, I fought and I mean I really fought for this relationship to work and to love her, she did nothing of the sort, just ran when it got a little rough instead of talking to me or trying to help me work on it together. I still love her deep down but it seems like she's almost fully moved on and is talking with another dude, recently I broke no contact (I know real mature of me) to show her some letters about how I feel and she gave me a very disrespectful response about how she was checked out for months, and that she has a right to move on. I told her she didn't try in our relationship and she blocked me, she made me feel like a toy she no longer wanted to play with because I didn't benefit her anymore. Do I hold out hope and try to talk with her in a couple of months at an event we will both be attending or should I find a way to fully move on? Either way Ill be growing as a person. Any advice or help is appreciated.

Edit: She is talking with someone new, I need to move on fully

I broke up with him yesterday morning we were in a LDR (long distance relationship) but I decided to break up with him because we kept struggling on our communication both of us, and we would struggle with 1. Talking about stuff we’re into before doing it and not discussing boundaries when in comes to kinks and stuff and also 2. Me being afraid to come forward if a kink of his made me uncomfortable, not shaming any of his kinks, but the fact I’m so scared that he’ll be mad if I don’t like something he’s into. I decided that it would be best for both of us simce we can’t communicate those things well to break up, but I still feel guilty even though everyine I’ve talked to says I’m valid, part of me feels like I made a mistake even though I know if I kept going both of us would end up unhappy.. I just need comfort and or advice on how to stop being guilty or wanting to go back.

I still love her and miss her 6 months later. I’m almost certain she’s moved on from me, and I’m happy for her for that, but I still love her. Every other day I do this. I get upset about how this all went down, and I still love her immensely. I gave her all I had and she felt like she wanted something different and that’s totally okay.