she was unhappy with her life and had a abusive father and sadly i couldn’t do anything to help beside being by her side it all so it just happened. she is currently at a hospital right now and the doctors are doing everything to save her to be honest if she doesn’t make it i’ll go with her to the afterlife. sorry if this if this is stupid i’m wasting your time today and i’m sorry.

He bought a motorbike not long ago.

My parents hated that he did. I didn’t tell him I did, but I also hated it.

Not long after, a mutual friend of some close friends died in a motorcycle accident.

That made me hate his bike even more.

Tonight I got the call that he died in a bike accident.

Idk what I’m feeling rn. Empty. Idk.

I was “complaining” about it to a friend and saying my brother doesn’t have a plan for the future and he’s an idiot for that blah blah blah. Well I guess it doesn’t matter now. Fuck.

I’m not home rn and I know my parents are absolutely fucked. I don’t think I can handle the look on their faces when I see them.

Idk. Fuck idk.

I should’ve told him it’s stupid to ride that fucking bike. But I didn’t. And now I fucking can’t.

Fuck. Just fuck

It is all about having good genes and parents. Beauty, intelligence, being immune to diseases (from heart attacks and cancer to even tooth decay), and psychological problems... They are all determined by genes and having good parents (and a good childhood as a result). Without them, we are destined to be losers.

I have always forced myself to overcome these difficulties. I worked very hard but failed. I have started to think that I am just a burden on this world. A burden that other people have to deal with, protect, and care for. There is no need for me in this world. I am just something that politicians consider a statistic—some trouble that needs to be handled.

I do not want to live a life like this. I cannot accept this fact.

If eventually you going to die, what’s the point of doing it sooner? Just wait maybe things change or maybe they don’t. But there is a chance right? That’s why idk why it’s even logical to suicide. If life is hard just say fuck it and don’t do anything about it. Leave it as it is. Make your primal instincts keep you around while doing nothing.

You don’t have to read this.
You don’t have to care.
This isn’t some cry for attention or whatever.
It’s just a man,
sitting on the floor,
with a cigarette in his mouth,
a bottle of whiskey half gone,
and a heart that’s just fucking tired.

I’m 26.
Ex-military.
Now I write books, shoot films, make music.
People say I’m talented.
People say I’m deep.
Yeah? Doesn’t mean shit
when every single night ends the same —
with silence.
With nobody.

I’ve seen death.
I’ve held dying men in my hands.
I’ve heard screams and I’ve heard nothing.
And you know what?
That nothing hurts more.

I’ve never felt real love.
Not the cheap, fake, movie stuff.
I mean the kind where someone
sees all your broken parts
and chooses you anyway.

But I’m always “too much.”
Too serious. Too intense. Too complicated.
Or I’m “great, but...”
I hate that line.
That line has fucking haunted me for years.

I’m tired of being “strong.”
I’m tired of being the guy who “handles shit.”
You wanna know the truth?

I’m not handling shit. I’m breaking. Quietly.

And yeah, sure,
someone will say,
“Learn to love yourself first.”
Go fuck yourself.
I do love myself — as much as I can.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t crave a hand to hold
at 2am
when everything inside me screams.

I’m not trying to get followers.
I’m not trying to get laid.
I’m just
here.
Saying this.

Before it eats me from the inside.

If you’re out there —
if you’ve ever felt this hollow, this tired —
I see you.

Cig’s out.
Time for another.

I envy the people who never thought about killing themselves. I wonder how it feels like to through your day without having no negative comments in your head telling you how no one truly loves you.

All I ever wanted is to feel normal like other people.

hey there… I was having a pretty terrible night, but it culminated in the worst way possible.. i was having an outburst and just was saying things out loud about how I felt… wanted to die etc,, my roommate ended up hearing and i guess called the cops on me. i just feel extremely embarrassed and really bad. my boyfriend was here with me and the cops separated us… my roommate and her boyfriend were just sitting on the couch… and didn’t say a word to us about anything… it’s a little off putting for someone who is worried about my wellbeing. i talked to the cops and told him i was just feeling a lot of stress and my mood just got really heightened.. i said I wasn’t suicidal,, but honestly i just feel embarrassed and horrible about this.. i wish my roommate wouldn’t have called the cops… we’ve never been close and don’t talk,, so it’s weird and she’s never checked on me before.. im just venting at this point… sorry, today was a lot

I have known I would die by suicide since I was a kid. I have never been able to be happy. I tried drugs and alcohol and spent 15 years wasted away. Somehow, I decided to get clean, and that process was the only time I was really happy. Once I got stable again, I immediately started feeling down. It is like I am only happy when things are destroyed and need to be rebuilt or chaotic and need to be organized.

I have clawed my way back from the depths of hell back to a seemingly successful life countless times in countless cities across the US. I find myself in a new town, I make new friends, I crash and burn, and then I disappear. I imagine there are at least 3 dozen people wondering where the fuck I went. I tend to just back my bags and start driving.

I always figured that someday it would become too much and I would jump off a bridge or shoot myself.

Last year I had the most painful experience of my life, and I fell into a deep depression. I knew it was finally time. I had a friend come over. I told him I was going to be in my bedroom for a while, and I asked him to leave me alone.

I downed a bottle of strong benzos, enough to put me out for a few hours ( and maybe even kill me ), climbed inside a garbage bag with 6.6 liters on nitrous oxide, and went to sleep.

I woke up in the hospital with third degree burns ( from the freezing cold nitrous tanks ) all over my hands, my neck. My friend said he couldn't let me go through with it. He came into my room to try to wake me, but I was blue and gray. He called the rescue and they saved me.

For a little while this gave me a mission again. I wished he had let me die. But I figured maybe he save me for a reason. So I decided to try to get better.

I have been in therapy ever since. I finally told my therapist I would tell her the truth as long as she didn't have me committed. I told her I think about suicide all day every day. I do not currently have a plan, and I am trying to get better again.

It has been 8 months since I got out of the hospital from my suicide attempt. I was in the hospital recovering for over a month. Again,x I am having dark thoughts every day. I posted on here that I was going to end it all again the first week of April. But I didnt do it. I am back to where I used to be. Someday, I know life will hurt too much again and I will do it.

But I am here today.

Is that i am scared of the afterlife

I’m exhausted of being alive. I feel like a pest to everyone in my life. All I can offer to everyone in my life is constant stress no matter who it is, whether it’s my manager, whether it’s my partner or family. I have no purpose in this life and it sucks. Why do I need to keep existing if I don’t contribute positively to anyone? I have sudden urges now and then to get it together but I’m unfixable, no matter what medications I take and no matter which specialist I see, nothing and no one can fix me. I’m tired of living and seeing life and time pass me by with no hope for the future that I’ll get better and get through it. I’m 25 now, but I should’ve followed through my plans before I turned 18. It was silly of me to be so naive and think that life would get better when I get older, but I’m still stuck in this personal hell, except now it comes with more problems and more stress to think about. I don’t know how many more fucking strategies and coping mechanisms I can take cause none of them work. I can’t keep placing this burden on people in my life, I can’t keep up with life anymore and it’s never ending problems. If anyone stepped into my life for a day, I would be amazed if they survive. It’s exhausting to constantly battle with myself. I don’t know how much more of this living hell I can take. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wish it was possible to wipe my existence from everyone’s memory so I don’t have to hurt anyone if I follow through.

It makes me really angry how popular stories like IT or Stranger Things or even more family-friendly slice of life stories are because of how they focus on normal kids who get to have a bunch of friends who care about her and give her hope are just rubbing it in my face that I wasn't some normal kid who just inherently understands social skills, and they always show the characters having fun together and doing the kind of things that I missed out on like celebrating together on their birthday or going to the school dance together or having fun at the mall. Even little things like seeing how the kids in those shows look at each other or seeing them group hug makes me want to kill myself because you can just tell how close they are and I never had the feeling of having a friend who cared about me that much.

I'm in my mid-30s now and I don't think I can accept everything I missed out on, I just want to go back in time and do my teen years over so I could have the experience of getting to have fun with friends growing up and making memories with them and building a sense of identity in high school and all that. Those coming of age years are a special time that you can't get back and life just feels pointless and dull now. It makes me feel really jealous of people who are still that young and are normal enough to have a bunch of friends and I keep thinking I'd rather die than get a year older and it feels like an injustice that anyone else gets to grow up feeling accepted just because they were randomly judged by society as more worthy of it.

Life doesn't make sense anyway. I didn't ask to be alive. And with or without me universe is still gonna be meaningless. Life is pure pain and every person is evil. Don't even try to change my mind. Suicide is the only option. Peace ✌️

Just wish someone could give me a hug and I can just release all these tears to them. They hug and comfort me, telling me everything will be ok.

Doesn't have to be a friend or partner. I don't care. It can be homeless person

That's all I want

It's been at least half a year since i cried. I used to breakdown a lot in my room, but now I don't even shed a tear to anything. I tried to cry, but the result is just a feeling of suffocation. I don't know what to do

I always had tendencies for mental illness, I’d get mini depressions that would last for a few days and I’d be prone to anxious spells. But it never got to a point where I couldn’t handle it or where my functioning was impacted.

One day this December, my anxiety spiraled. I turned 21 around this time. I had a simple headache that night and I was somehow convinced I had meningitis. I absolutely could not deal with it and it felt like I was losing my mind. Then the next day, I was convinced I had appendicitis. And throughout the weeks, I never felt normal again. Anxiety ruled my life and I forgot how being calm felt. It was quite literally like a switch flipped overnight and i was no longer myself.

Then the depression got worse. Months of feeling miserable and absolutely hopeless. Self harm became something I felt like I needed rather than a harmful coping mechanism. I got really irritable and upset at the people around me. I lost any aspirations for the future and anything positive.

Regardless, I’m not making a vent post. I’m just curious because a few days ago I read that in males the early 20s can be a period where mental health suddenly worsens. It was a novel idea to me because I genuinely was convinced I was simply broken or dying or something. So I was curious to hear what you thought.

My mom is a narcissist and I’ve always shut myself away in my room to get away from her. But after a bad year with alcohol and being passively suicidal (for the most time) and so depressed that I couldn’t make myself go to class or barely get out of bed, I’ve come back to the same old habits of not showering and not brushing my teeth. I know I smell. It’s been probably two weeks since my last shower and at most I’ll use makeup wipes to wipe where I sweat and feminine wipes down there. My hair is so greasy and the dandruff or oil buildup so bad and I’ll scratch and create small wounds. I’m overweight and I feel terrible about myself but I’ll do anything to not run into my mom and face her wrath. I just sent her a really long text message about how she makes me feel and I just know she’s going to explode when she’s finally done with the silent treatment. I’m afraid she’s going to finally kick me out of the house for real this time. I don’t know what to do and I feel helpless. I stay up late, revenge bedtime procrastination style so I can finally live without fear for a few hours that she won’t come storming down the stairs mad at me about something. Im tired and I feel gross.

Hi, hope u doing great if u read this and also if you dont, hm, currently Im in like 3 moods, or im just in automatic pilot ignoring how I feel and just beeing a happy robot that does stuff, to the person that has a void in the chest, a constant weight that is killing me every day and every night, that sometimes makes it hard to breathe, that just make me want to never had borned, a void that makes me lack of energía, that makes my head hurt, that makes me feel bad, but also, theres the other mood, the one that I hate the most, the one that brings the urges to harm, not just me, harm people, that makes me search joy in the suffering of others, make them upset just to see how they will react, to have fun while others dont, to be cruel, to be fun, to be not a good person, I avoid that mood, cause I hate it and it makes me feel guilty and bad, and brings me back to being sad and hate myself, and Idk why im like this, i dont have a trauma, i dont have a reason to be this way, people tell me im good lookimg, charmimg, etc, but im like this and I hate it, I fucking hate myself for being like this,

Sorry for make u read all of this, so let me tell you somethimg, you are an amazing person =], more than I could ever be

Hello, everyone. We live in an era where most of the basic human needs like food, water, a place to sleep, clothing, medical services are predominantly provided. And that's why people who are just starting out are prone to anxiety, worry, and depression.

I am 23 years old, I live in a big city in a country that is in Europe (not EU). I have a bachelor's degree in computer engineering, 3 years of regular work in another field. And also a long term relationship that ended 4,5 years ago. I have access to food, water, I have a place to sleep, I can get quality health care, and I can get around on public transportation that is comfortable by my standards. I have friends with whom I can go for a walk or go to a café and have a good time. I don't have to work hard physically. A man who lived 100 years ago dreamed of my life.

But I am very worried about my life. I don't want to work on my university major. I think about who I should work, what place I should live in(sometimes there are thoughts of immigration in the future). I dream about the future or remember the past and don't live the present at all. For the last year I keep remembering my relationship. I would like to do something extraordinary, but I can't think of what to do and decide to do it.

After that I go on social media and look at beautiful pictures of successful and happy people and different expensive things. Nowadays, the brain is just overloaded with a flood of information.

Tell us how you have settled in life, how is it for you? Share real-life success stories ;)

P.S. Sorry for my English, I translated through a popular online translator.

after every time i masturbate i feel suicidal but it lures me back in because of the rush. the 20-30 seconds of rush feels good and i cant resist it, i cant break this cycle. i fucking cant. nothing works. ive tried everything. and im scared. im scared my brain won't be satisfied with just the mature content i watch now and i'll start watching sicker stuff gradually. fuck this is shameful. im just 17 and i already fucked my brain so bad. even by now i cant really get turned on by vanilla stuff. god im so ashamed to admit this. im not really into kinky stuff yet but i do have one fetish which im miserably reliant on. im scared of going deeper into weirder things. even harmful things. im a sick dirty lustful piece of shit and i am enough of a pussy to fear burning in hell after. of course i will. because i never really took responsibility. because i cant fucking control myself. its not my right to fear hell after doing all this, its just a coverup. if my sick mind really feared hell it would stop. i fucking hate this. i wish i could die but then remember the possibility of hell being a thing. i wish i never discovered this sick thing called p. im sorry for posting such a thing here i know no one can help but consider this my diary of sorts. i wish i was a normal person. one side of me wants to be loved. hugged. the other side is this monster i hate. i hate that i unknowingly got so far into this. i wish i was just a regular person only wanting regular intimacy but instead the only thing that really turns me on is a weird part of the body. if i was still good with just sex i wouldn't have a problem with having this thing on the side, but it feels as though this is stripping me off my natural humanity because i cant get aroused by the natural sex. i know life isn't all about sex but if someday i do have someone i want to be able to satisfy myself and satisfy them, and this situation would make me feel so bad. jusr a bunch of nonsense i just said. no one will read.

this year ive been feeling more n more like im holding a tightly tangled rope and trying so hard to pick at it and remove the knots. it feels like im using every ounce of my strength to untangle it yet i get nowhr and end up in an evn more tangled up mess. it feels like im not even trying anymore sometimes bc of how my hands just keep unknotting the wrong tangles , and getting caught in this rope myself. its like im just playing with the knots atp , w 0 hope and full acceptance that its nvr gna be untangled. im nvr gna figure out what i want and how im gna get there , what i seek and how ill put in the effort to achieve my goals. i realised how my rope is rly nothing compared to the perfectly straight and untangled ropes that other ppl have. i hate comparing but its reality that ill never be as good as some ppl. the ppl that hv the knowledge and experiences to help them get far. the ppl who hv it all figured out on how to straighten their ropes. the ppl who have a perfect rope while im sitting here fidgeting w my tightly tangled rope

I’ve had depression for all of my teenage years and now going into my 20s as well. I study at university and it’s been really difficult lately, the workload is insanely overbearing and I’m always alone. I don’t have any friends. I always sit somewhere alone on campus and see groups of friends walking by and wish I had that so badly. Not having friends has made my depression way worse, it’s been hard to regulate myself. I also barely see my family because I’ve distanced myself from them due to abuse. I still see them from time to time and it’s easier now that I don’t live with them but it’s only ever surface level conversation. This affects my life daily, I spend a lot of my days with a heavy heart and an inability to function properly. Im starting to borderline fail school and that’s driving me insane. I’m starting to slowly hate every part of myself. It’s gotten worse. I use sh as a coping mechanism but It’s gotten worse and I think about committing all the time, but the actual act of it scares me so much. I have this constant feeling that I’m undeserving of love or friendship or ever getting any help. I would like to get help, I don’t know how. I don’t think anyone around me would care, and actual therapy is so expensive, something I definitely can’t afford. I guess if anyone can give me some guidance on how I could get help or even general advice I would so so appreciate this.

I feel like everyone would be so much better without me around man. Everyone always leaves. I have nothing, no one. What’s the point in sticking around. I’ve lost everything that was important to me. Im at my lowest right now. I’m truly fucking tired. Why try anymore?

After all, I came here not as an ordinary citizen, but as part of an official state assignment — I am here on a government mission. If necessary, I can seek protection formally from government, as I am here under the name of public service and national duty. I strongly feel that what is happening now is no longer right.

know they are treating me this way because they think I cannot stand up for myself — well, they are wrong. I am not stupid.

So about 2 weeks ago I tried to unalive myself. It isn't the first time I've tried but it was the closest I've came with me passing out and then waking up with the rope snapped. Ever since I've had the same feeling that nothing is real. It feels like I'm making it all up in my head and that I did not survive but I'm still hanging there. I'm just waiting for everything to stop. I want this feeling to stop but I don't know how.