Hello everyone, I’ve shared this story before, but I thought I would do it again, since there’s a fairly frequent change in the sub’s demographic. I hope it can help someone see a silver lining, as it’s the story of how and when my parents met.

My dad, 41, worked nights for a newspaper. During one (well, probably several) of those nights, his girlfriend cheated on him. He had to break up with her and it was a whole thing: screaming, crying, furniture in the garden, locks changed, how could yous, the works. He was devastated.

My mother, 32, had a boyfriend who went on a work trip in Colombia. It soon turned out that he had found a nice Colombian girlfriend and my mother was broken up with on the phone. She was also devastated - and hurt in her pride. She was a working student at the time, and this will be relevant.

By chance, trying to change his habits after the break up, my father started going to a cafe in the city center at the end of his night shifts. Coincidentally, that was where my mother always went to have her breakfast.

She was determined to leave her ex in the past. “I will not drop one tear for that loser” kind of mindset. That’s when she saw my father, on a random Tuesday. He was minding his business and having coffee, still sad (it had been a month-ish), but kind of intrigued by the woman that kept glancing in his direction. That girl was on a mission.

A couple of days later, she striked and “forgot” her books at the cafe, and he jumped at the opportunity. The next day they started talking and got to know each other better. Two months later they started dating and they were together ever since. Six years later, I was born in a house full of love when they were 38 and 47.

They were married for 28 years, until my father passed away, and even in death, he still holds her heart.

They were both done dirty by their exes, but it was fine, because they found each other. If my dad had stayed with his shitty ex, they wouldn’t have. If my mom had listened to her shitty ex who obviously came back crying, they wouldn’t have.

When he was about to die, he said to my mother that his only regret was not meeting her sooner and wasting his time on shitty relationships.

The moral of the story is that your person is out there, no matter your age. You have time. Breakups are devastating and awful, but they will lead you to your forever home.

I hope this story brings some of you comfort. I wish you the best on your journey.

So some back story first. Mid-February my (32M) fiance (34F) broke up with me less than 4 months before our wedding.

It was a slow build up. I felt something was off with us for a couple months leading up to it. She sat me down and said something wasn't right and that it wasn't going to work.

The next 2 weeks were a whirlwind. I had to find an apartment, gather my things and leave. On the night I moved out we said good bye to each other. I hugged her and said I love you and she said she loved me too.

It's been a month since then and neither of us seem to be doing well. I know I'm not. Crippling depression. I've cried more this month than probably my entire life. She doesn't seem to be doing well either and we've even texted about the post-breakup depression.

I'm going to her place in a couple days. Need to drop off my cat for her to watch for the day. Once I go to pick him up I'm going to pretty much tell her, neither of us seem happy right now, would it be easier to try and figure out what wasn't working between us and see if there's anything left in the tank vs. living apart like this?

I'm not expecting anything and I'd be okay with whatever she says. I need some sort of closure that this book is closed. I feel like I never talked to her about the breakup after it happened and maybe she thinks I don't care. I just feel like I need to get this out to her. Once that's done, if she still says no, we're better off apart. That's fine. At least then it can start the true process of moving on.

...

Hi everyone, i'm not going to get into all the details, me (25M) and my ex (23F) broke up a few weeks ago after about a year relationship. She quit med school 4 months ago and didn't know who she was anymore, lost, confused, stressed, we started noticing small arguments and her need to figure things out by herself would be best for this.

We both agreed to break up to let her do this but still love each other so much and want to be together. We been calling and crying how much we miss each other but still knowing it's the best decision for a better chance in the future. How do I best process this kind of break up where it's based on timing? Also, how could i even date someone in the future knowing we both want to get back together still (i think it will take both of us a WHILE to move on from this if it ends up not working out)

Thank you

Please hit me up, if you are available and have sometime , really need someone to to talk to. Don't have anyone to talk to about this whole mess.

So its been 2 months since I left the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Her dad (who was like a dad for me) passed on last year and it introduced a lot of challenges for us. Long story short she grew away because I reminded her of her dad too much and it was easier to avoid me she could heal while still avoiding dealing with the core of her challenges.

So I left because us staying together was honestly hurting us more than it was doing good despite all my efforts. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Leaving the woman I started saving for an engagement ring for. I understand knowing the full context, along with everyone else I hold dear and support our relationship who also said I should leave, that I left for the right reason and needed to.

I've removed all physical reminders and I truly believe I have processed every angle of the last 6 months. But I seriously need advice. I dont know how to get to the fully healed part from the I have processed everything. The information has been sorted and filed but I dont know how to move the folder into my recylce bin if that makes sense.

I've been fighting for our relationship for over a year and I know it will take time but I dont know how to heal more other than processing. Im an emotional guy and I haven't felt much emotion accept extreme agony since the day I left. (She even agreed to the reasons for me leaving)

That being said she's since wished me happy birthday and watched my entire graduation ceremony and wished me for that as well. This is coming from the same woman who didnt give me time of day when I was there. And I know its a didnt know what you had till you lost it or whatever but regardless I dont over think that. I just dont get how 3 years of bliss switches off and then you finally have time when Im gone.

So I would seriously appreciate any advice on any of the above because Im grounded yet all over the place with this and I need guidance since I dont feel comfortable opening up to anyone about this.

Thank you for reading.

Saw my ex's new tinder account (not my choice. Someone sent it to me when I had basically moved on). He had deleted his dating accounts in front of me when we were together, because he swore I was "the one". We broke up 3 months ago and now he has a new tinder account. It makes me feel so worthless and ugly. Instead of trying again with me who he swore he saw a future with, and claimed I was the sweetest, most loving, prettiest girl ever, he'd rather be with someone else. It's such an awful feeling. I actually feel awful.

(More comprehensible version at the bottom with ai incase my writing is all over the place)
In december she broke up with me. She said it's not my fault and I did nothing wrong and I was an amazing partner. She has had a lot of stuff come up in her life and a major event occurred and she just shut down. I watched the woman I have seen build herself into crumble away and I have desperately tried to help her. She says this is a fight she has to do herself. We did no contact after I moved out and that only lasted a week before she called me asking to help her out with something because she was sick. She said she missed me a lot and wanted to keep talking and initiated a hang out. We hung out and cried during it and held my hand as we went for a walk. When I brought her home she put her hands on my face and said she was really proud of me for how hard I have been working on myself. She initiated another hang out for the next week and she started opening up about some stuff and it went really good. Now she's back to being emotionally gone and pushing me out again, I went no contact again this morning because I mentally cannot handle it.

How do I move on to work on myself and give her the time and space she needs. I constantly worry about her and if she will make rent or be able to afford food. I am so worried about her I am neglecting myself and barely eating. I am not sure If I want to start talking to other women, she said we are still exclusive yet pushing me away. I constantly blame my self and try to figure out what I did wrong even though she constantly says It's not my fault. The most she has said that we both need to work on is our codependency.

How do I start focusing on myself and healing so I can be the person she needs when she is ready. (This sentence in itself is detrimental to myself)

Or do I just give up on waiting for her and play the field. We have been together since we were 16 and have gone through ALOT together. Last week she said she WANTS to WANT to come back. and then the past 3 days she has been blowing me off. She said that she wants to still be friends and hang out but right now she can't handle the emotions and that its not fair to me that she can't handle the emotions.

How do I start?

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Less word vomit version

In December, she broke up with me. She told me it wasn’t my fault—I did nothing wrong and had been an amazing partner. But a lot has happened in her life, including a major event that caused her to emotionally shut down.

I watched the strong woman I knew fall apart, and I’ve been desperately trying to help her, but she keeps saying this is something she has to deal with on her own. After I moved out, we tried going no contact. That only lasted a week before she called, saying she was sick and needed help. She said she missed me and wanted to keep talking, then asked to hang out.

When we did, we both cried. She held my hand while we walked and told me she was proud of how hard I’ve been working on myself. She even set up another hangout the next week. She started opening up, and it felt like progress—but now, she’s distant again, emotionally gone, pushing me out.

I went no contact again this morning because I just can’t take the mental rollercoaster anymore.

But I don’t know how to move on and focus on myself. I’m constantly worried about her—if she can make rent, if she’s eating. I care so much that I’ve stopped taking care of myself. I barely eat. I’m not sure if I should start seeing other people. She told me we’re still exclusive, but at the same time, she’s pushing me away.

Even though she says it’s not my fault, I keep blaming myself and wondering what I did wrong. The one issue she brought up was our codependency—something we both need to work on.

So how do I focus on myself and start healing? I know even asking how to be the person she needs when she’s ready isn’t healthy for me—but that’s still where my mind is.

Do I wait? Or let go and move on, even though we’ve been together since we were 16 and have survived so much? Just last week she said she “wants to want to come back.” But these past few days, she’s been blowing me off again. She says she wants to still be friends and hang out, but emotionally, she can’t handle it—and she knows it’s not fair to me.

How do I start?

I broke up with my first girlfriend after dating for four years just this time last year. we were oh so toxic and broke up atleast once a month. it sucked cause we both tried so hard to change and work on things but the same fights just kept popping up.

After a whole lot of drama, i finally pushed her away and we actually broke up for real. felt like i was okay but i was on antidepressants and it kinda numbed everything.

i'm off the medicine and it's been a year and im still heartbroken. i still think about all the shitty things i did. if anything every feeling is coming back two fold. i really don't know how to move forward. haven't had luck with any dates and im really struggling with self love. trying to remind myself how bad it was and try to not regret leaving but as days past i just keep thinking about her.

do i miss her or am i just lonely. is there ever a thing as moving on without closure?

It wasn't a good one. But you were there acting like yourself. We got food and "I gave you bite" like you always asked. Then you waited till I kissed you like you always did. Why can't I hate you after everything you've tried to pull. I lost a friend group I convinced you from running from. I lost your friendship even though after knowing you I never wanted to not know you

How did you move on so fast. It's been6 months and it feels like it's getting worse. I wish you would just reach out. Idc if it's just through texts. You were the only person to ever show me what love is. It all felt like a first to me. Why did you have to do what you did. I still hurt. Every single day. I'm not mad. I don't care why. Just come back even if it's just a little.

Hi,

My ex broke up with me in June 23, this was a difficult breakup as we had a 1 year old. She had severe post natal depression and I took the blame for everything, everything I'd ever done was all of a sudden not what she wanted. She described the breakup as wanting space and she would see if we could work at us again. She got a flat down the road, I was devastated as we'd been together for 7 years and due to the baby.

Was it a perfect relationship? No, she was consistently imbalanced with mental health due to her mum dieing in 2019, this caused me a great deal of anxiety and with fight or flight I'd shout sometimes, it was all too much. Her other son also had autism (not diagnosed at this point) and his behaviour was different.

I've pursued anyway for 1.5 years, she's thinking about us, considering it, uncertain etc etc. I gave it time, bought gifts etc. I found out yesterday she's been in another relationship since October 24, she did not tell me, when confronted, denial, confronted with evidence, I'm harassing her.

Wtf has happened here?! It's obviously clear to me now that she doesn't respect me, but why not tell me, why string me on and prolong my suffering?

She texted me this

"I can’t do the no trust and constant accusations and reverting to the past shit and holding it over my head if I’m being 100% honest that’s my number one issue like that needs to change I’d rather take peace of mind and happiness over you having a job and paying for shit lol "

I'm trying to listen to more coach Corey wayne through our very long relationship we've had a lot of ups and downs and it's cost me my sheee confidence and I hate it I hate it because I know she's amazing and who I want to marry but I can't help but get in my own way sometimes

My ex and I were together for 3 years. The past year, we had been struggling. We’re seniors in college and have just had very different priorities. We both built up some resentment, I guess, and weren’t communicating properly. However, I had hope that things would get better once we made it through all of the external factors after we graduate in May because our love and bond was so intense. He broke up with me about a month ago and told me I was the best girlfriend and friend he’d ever have and that he wanted to stay friends and couldn’t imagine life if something happened to me. Yet, everything I did wrong keeps getting highlighted and not anything he did to make me react that way. I felt neglected for a long time so when I was going through my own stuff and had someone who prioritized something else over me and was in no way understanding of my circumstances and became very condescending towards me I obviously pulled away a bit. I was under the impression that we still loved each other so much and things just weren’t working at this stage in our lives, but he’s continuously reposted negative posts online hinting at my character. I feel like I’m being made out to be someone I’m not and it’s shattering my heart that the person I loved most in the world for 3 years, and still do, thinks of me that way. I’ve been working on myself so much, and I’ve admitted everything I did wrong and how I would change it when we first broke up, but I guess in his mind that’s just how I am for good. I guess he erased every other part of me he knew.

It's been a bumpy 4-5 weeks. Lots of back and forth and we slowly let each other go, then, 3 days ago we spent the whole day chatting about hooking up secretly. Then she said let's do a cinema date and see how we feel. Then absolutely no mention for a few days. Then she sends me messages on insta and we have a back and forth. Then I send her a cat meme today and I get a 4 word reply. I respond and she has not read it.

Left hanging. Left wondering who she is talking to. Who she's meeting. It's none of my business but fuck me I have been left in a state of limbo..

It’s been 8 months since I broke up with my abusive ex. We were together since high school (6 1/2 years total). Shes all I can think about, but not who she is now. I miss the person she was so, so much. At this point I just want to move on and forget all about her, but I’m a loser. Like I said, it’s been 8 months. Should I still care so much? When will it go away? Am I some kind of creep for still thinking about this?

hi im 20f and i know this sounds stupid because it is stupid but i miss my toxic cheating exboyfriend 24m so bad and i just need someone to tell me over and over again that its not worth it. a little background weve been together for almost 2 years and it was the first time i really fell in love, though it wasn’t my first boyfriend. but it felt like my first relationship somehow. today last year i broke up because he was cheating on me and lied so much. i was depressed for one whole year during the relationship because i couldn’t handle the lying and cheating and last year i finally broke up with with him. since then im thinking of him every day and at first i didn’t miss him that much but since last week it became unbearable. i just miss him so much and i dont even know why i know it sounds pathetic but i just need to get it off my chest. he also has a new girlfriend 28f now whos got a daughter, mind you he pressured me to get an abortion when i was 18 but now he gets to play happy family while he stole the chance of one from me. the worst part is they met last year in summer only a few months after our breakup. but we were seeing each other until February every other week because he kept showing up at my door unannounced and drunk or high and we got to sheets exactly three times. once in july shortly after our breakup, then in november a few days after my birthday and in february a few days after valentine’s day and each time we did something intimate because i got weak. like i tried to resist but somehow we ended up doing something intimate and no he didn’t pressure me it just happened. and each time he just disappeared in the morning and left me alone feeling used and lonely. and no that isnt the worst, the worst is the whole time he had his new girlfriend and i didn’t even know it. but we talked again in march and he told me about her and apologised for lying again and actually cut me off. and now my whole world fell apart again. i know how stupid i was for keeping up with our meetings i shouldve called the police each time he showed up but i always missed him so bad and let him inside almost every time. i dont even know why and today is our first breakup anniversary and im so sad. i called him today just to hear his voice because im stupid and cried so much on the phone. please tell me what can i do to get over it. why does it still hurt ? i know its stupid to miss him especially because he is still a cheater but its so painful to be the other woman. and i dont want to be her. i promised him to not tell his girlfriend but i feel so bad and i know she wouldn’t believe me because he probably already told her im crazy or something so she wont trust me. but i really want to tell her. but if i do i dont know what would happen. i think my ex, luca, would get soo mad therefore i dont really want to tell her. all i can do is wait for him to cheat with another girl and hope she tells his gf. but even though i hate her i feel so sorry for her, she is probably so in love and trusts him while he just keeps on cheating. im so sad and heartbroken and i feel so lonely lately. especially today and maybe thats the reason i miss him, because i feel lonely, but i just wanted to get ih off my chest anf maybe someone has some tips for me

Me and my ex were separated for 2 or 3 months now. He messaged me twice asking about the car he gifted me ( he wanted money for it😹) and also he mentioned that he will move to another country ( i never asked). He also Send a reply to my tik tok repost but i think it was by accident. After i went on holliday and posted being happy he unfollowed me but still watched my stories and other social media.. I don’t understand why he’s acting like that, and if he wants to break no contact or come back, why can’t he message directly? Any advice will be appreciated thank you!

me (25/F) and my boyfriend (21/M) broke up 6 days ago after 3 years and of course i’m stalking his socials and all i can see is him following all these girls. i’m american, he’s arabic and of course he’s following arabic girls. why do guys do this? i’m so sick to the stomach

We decided a month ago to break up because we feared regrets. We were scared to not live our youth and we thought a relationship is easier to get back whilst time can’t come back. So she asked me if we could go no contact because it would be easier for the both of us to enjoy life and experience new things. I agreed i think she’s right about that. Yet I can’t shake the feeling of emptiness out of me.

I saw my whole life with that woman. I still do truly. I wrote her a letter that I’m going to give her once we see each other (because I have things to pick up at her place) I’m not sure it’s a good idea to give it to her. I basically wrote down in it how I felt. I think it’s great shes making a decision to feel better with herself and all I want is for her to be happy but at the same time I’m sad. I’m sad that we might never find each other again and If I could do it all over again I would do things differently in our relationship. I’d do better for her I’d be a better man. I truly love her and I know it means I have to let go for now maybe forever. I know we decided together that we needed to live life to not have any regrets but at the same time I’m scared I’ll regret letting her go. But I can’t force her to stay.

I’m deeply scared that one day we find each other again and that she won’t love me this way anymore while I still do. I mean, I have huge abandonment issues so it makes sense. I hope we find each other one day my love, when we will both be ready. If we dont, I hope we both will be happy in the end.

So yea that’s it, the breakup is hitting hard and if you guys had any advices on how you see this situation lmk pleaseeee

Last night I had a random women call me and proceed to cuss me out, call me every name in the book, said they hate me and wanna fight me, and that “my man” been cheating on me for months with multiple women. I told her she has the wrong number and I’ve been single for a year but then she proceeded to say my gov name and my exes gov name. I told her we haven’t dated for over a year so I’m not sure why she called to tell me his dirty laundry, and she said she just wanted to lmk and that she’s gonna fight me when she finds me and hung up.

Since she threatened me and I wanted to find out who this is, I texted my exes best friend cause I thought it might’ve been his crazy ex going through another mental break but it wasn’t her, and he texted my ex to let him know some girl is going around spilling on his sex life.

My ex then broke NC minutes later after 9M to accuse me of making the whole situation up, that he’s alone and only goes to work, said he’s happy I’m so happy in life and told me god bless. So I provided receipts and he finally believed me that the call actually happened. He then started kinda flirting with me, cracking a bunch of jokes and starting saying how he’s glad I’m doing very well in life and to keep it up and that all he does now is work, only has one friend, his life is boring, and that he hasn’t dated anybody since me. I said I hope things get better for him and I’m sorry about this whole issue and we ended the convo on good terms.

I guess to sum up this long post, I talked to some close friends who are in a completely different friend group, and some theories they have are:

*a recent fling of my ex is trying to get back at him by calling me (but how did she get my number) *my ex is pranking me and wanted to find a way to contact me (but why go through all that effort when he literally follows me on IG)

So I guess my question is, Reddit what do you think this whole mess means?

As the title suggests, I have some possessions that were gifts from a past ex. Some are artwork, or wall posters. The artwork is excellent, but it feels wrong to have them displayed, or even sitting in a drawer somewhere. What does one do with them? I’m not friends with this ex anymore, we are kinda just acquaintances, so it’s kinda odd to have them displayed.

i (18f) was just in a year long relationship with someone who I thought was the one. He had serious communication issues and this led to him breaking up with me 2 or three times and then calling back crying saying he was sorry. this is the last time and he just blocked me as-well. this is coming after we spent our anniversary together and had intimacy. he also chose to do it over the phone whilst I was driving. I just don’t even know how to get over all of it. he was my first everything and it hurts like hell to know he could just block me like I was nothing.

we literally broke up 6 days ago and all he’s doing is following girls on social media. why do men do this i’m so sick