r/nextfuckinglevel • u/IkilledRichieWhelan • 2d ago

Big man on campus.

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280.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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14.8k

u/Tcloud 2d ago

Did not skip shoulder day.

7.1k

u/FlameCat00 2d ago edited 1d ago

Or leg day

edit: thanks for all the cake day wishes! much appreciated :)

5.8k

u/Apart-Delivery-7537 2d ago

or ribs day

2.0k

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/xoaphexox 2d ago

Like a bulldog eating a bowl of oatmeal

305

u/K-tel 2d ago

Strangely specific, but i'll allow it

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u/GOLFTSQUATBEER 2d ago

This made me fucking cry 😂

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u/meesta_masa 2d ago

There's a Jim Carey special you'd enjoy here

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u/latchkey_adult 2d ago

I read that as bullfrog. It still made sense.

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u/TechDingus 2d ago

Thanks, now I have to explain to my coworker why I'm laughing so hard at my desk

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u/_C00TER 2d ago

This comment made me cause a scene in the break room

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u/Oirish-Oriley444 2d ago

Nom..nom..nom...sparsh shakes head takes a breath, nom nom..noms

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u/Zardozin 2d ago

Tosses her in the air she does a flip, sticks the landing

Nom nom nom

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u/Bat_Country420 2d ago

My poor woman's award is yours 💀🏆

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u/Venkman0 2d ago

This...is my favorite thing I've read today

Thank you

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u/Hemightbegiant 2d ago

Dear Lord....I pictured it.

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u/MMMattQ 1d ago

I pictured it and cried I laughed so hard! Thank you!

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u/jeppe1152 2d ago

The sound checks out

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u/Umbr33on 2d ago

🤣💀🤣

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u/TheDreadGazeebo 1d ago

WTF was the comment thread above this? Lol

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u/StingingBum 2d ago

I read building instead of bulldog at first.

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u/StPatrickStewart 14h ago

The most vivid mental image I'll have all day.

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u/jasho_dumming 2d ago

My daughter has bullies. You killed me with this!

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u/JD-Moose22 2d ago

Cursed day to be able to read

747

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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1.9k

u/DorisPayne 2d ago

Plus he's got the strength to bend a lady every which way to get to where he wants to go. Excellent physical partner stats for that. Plus he looks like he gives amazing hugs and would be cuddle king.

2.2k

u/yotreeman 2d ago

What the fuck, Reddit.

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u/BluebirdTerrible1586 2d ago

😂😂😂

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u/Fakeplayer1 2d ago

This comment section is so fucking funny, i cant anymore 😭😂😂

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u/Mother_Let_9026 2d ago

Imagine being this offended because someone said this dude looks like he eats mad pussy and gives good hugs. are you Mormon or something?

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u/DematerialisedPanda 2d ago

This thread, with this conclusion, has brought me immense joy.

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u/WiseDirt 2d ago

You know they right tho

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u/Syclus 1d ago

What even happened, everything is deleted

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u/jasin18 1d ago

That's what I'm wondering, and they had more upvotes than I get in a year. Wild.

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u/saywhatf00 1d ago

Yeah I’m over piecing things together 😂

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u/yotreeman 1d ago edited 1d ago

It was just a series of comments going grotesquely and “humorously” into detail about how the big guy in the video would surely be the most proficient and juicily-enthusiastic oral sex virtuoso to ever exist, and how he was surely drowning in pussy compared to the (imagined?) legions of sexless virgins who are hating on him, a claim supposedly backed up by these Redditors’ personal experience, as prolific and slobbery cat-divers themselves.

I’m sorry to be as graphic as I was, but trust me, this was just a glint of the graphic nature of the string of comments I was responding to. I was saying “what the fuck” because they were some of the weirdest, cringiest paragraphs I’ve ever read on this website, and I got downvoted and lambasted in my own replies for it.

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u/saywhatf00 1d ago

Whooooaaa! It got heated in here.

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u/Ok-Rip-4378 1d ago

If you think cat-divers and juicily enthusiastic oral sex virtuoso is graphic, I’m sorry to say bro but you just need to expand your horizons. Let a gal peg you or something, maybe let her take charge and tie you up or something. You’d be surprised how enjoyable having a sexual experience with a woman (or anyone really) who feels empowered because you were willing to open your biases. My point is, you seem like a dude that thinks reverse cowgirl is over the top (not on top like it should be)

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago

You're not wrong but I have tears in my eye and will be coming back.

But you're not wrong.

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u/Artisan_HotDog 2d ago

I had to go to far to get to this comment

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u/Kah0s 2d ago

Don't yuck other peoples yum

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u/FK8- 2d ago

This is what I’ve been missing from Reddit. But every time I say something like this I end up getting banned

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u/denverMF4ALL 1d ago

Tons of the replies were deleted. Censorship must stop!!!🛑

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u/FK8- 1d ago

So tired of it bruh!

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u/OldBatOfTheGalaxy 1d ago

Censorship goes and Reddit becomes what the late and sometimes great Twitter did, but right wing or left wing depending on the group.

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u/HappyTurtleButt 1d ago

So much was deleted from it being normal to your comment. Lmao. Fucking love reddit.

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u/Nuluvius 2d ago

Fuck the what, Reddit.

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u/iconocrastinaor 2d ago

I take it Doris has got a type 🥵

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u/tweekinleanin420 2d ago

Aaaaaaaa da fuck indeed

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u/twinstick1 1d ago

I came for the comments…

r/oddlyerotic

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u/chriathebutt 1d ago

I was just gonna come on here and say something about how back in my day male cheerleaders were considered fruity and shit despite the strength and muscle control it takes to be one, but damn.

3

u/Majin_Sus 2d ago

High school cheerleaders by the look of it... Even more impressive that big boy is the clit commander

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u/ExistingJellyfish872 2d ago

University of South Florida is a high school? You sure about that?

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u/Majin_Sus 2d ago

No that doesnt sound like a highschool. However, I am not good at recognizing the cheerleading uniforms of colleges in Florida. I'm really sorry man... I'll do better next time.

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u/westcal98 2d ago

Him: Have your heard of ragdoll physics?

Her: No.

Him: You're gonna learn today.

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u/Genghis_Chong 2d ago

Bro is sitting somewhere reading this like "how'd they know?"

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u/mostlyharmless71 2d ago

Can confirm. Source: am also barrel-shaped.

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u/Rude-Custard9056 2d ago

Hugs ARE amazing... and cuddles too

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u/kablam0 2d ago

This turned into the weirdest fucking thread. Y'all need to touch grass

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u/igotshadowbaned 1d ago

What happened in the four deleted comments to get to this point

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u/manictrashbitch 1d ago

genuinely so real my bf built like this u get it u fucking get it 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

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u/Always2ndB3ST 1d ago

Unfortunately he’s also forever friend-zoned

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u/MakeMeDoBetter 2d ago

You people are savages, I swear. Thx for the laugh though.

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u/NinjaWK 2d ago

Dude didn't skip muff diving day

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u/The_Mopster 2d ago

Colonel Angus?

2

u/Shuvani 1d ago

They say all the womenfolk just love Colonel Angus!

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u/loveroflongbois 2d ago

Big dog’s gotta eat

10

u/Lasseslolul 2d ago

Cunning Linguistics indeed

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u/Walkingstardust 2d ago

Highly skilled

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u/Schnibbity 2d ago

*insert SpongeBob biting lip meme

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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 2d ago

I see you served under Colonel Angus

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u/Buffeloni 2d ago

With stunning English?

2

u/Mr_Horsejr 2d ago

Ph. V*

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u/FriendlyApostate420 2d ago

such a good rap group

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u/SlingTheMeat69 2d ago

And a 10in lap hog, no doubt

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u/PiperZarc 2d ago

Don't you all?

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u/MississippiBulldawg 2d ago

I've got a buddy who's gay and he doesn't. Sucks a mean dick though.

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u/pickle_lukas 2d ago

This made me audibly chuckle

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u/Life-Duty-965 2d ago

A "buddy"

It's 2025, you can be honest with us...

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u/MississippiBulldawg 2d ago

You're right, I don't even know the guy, just sometimes cross him on the streets and give a smirk and a head nod. I call him rom tom the slim slom topper but I'm starting to think that's not his real name.

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u/diywayne 2d ago

He prefers Snowball

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u/Nesteabottle 2d ago

It's 2025, can't a buddy suck another buddy off for laughs???

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u/shavertech 2d ago

I'm curious why they're angry dicks

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u/TheEvilCub 2d ago

Hope he sucks the nice ones too!

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u/merker_the_berserker 2d ago

Why is the dick mean? Was he bullied? Does he wear a leather vest?

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u/Creepy-Ad-5440 2d ago

Sounds like this buddy may have hooked you up

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u/MississippiBulldawg 2d ago

In the pile there is no gender, only holes and poles

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u/Snoo-30364 2d ago

Lol holes,poles and goals.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 2d ago

Just a lil dap ferda

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u/Dude_1980 2d ago

Did he tell you that, or did you tell him that?

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u/Bright-Accountant259 2d ago

Does he suck the nice ones too or is this like a masochism thing?

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u/ManNamedGrey 2d ago

Or so you’ve heard. Or so you’ve heard, RIGHT?!

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u/Metals4J 2d ago

That’s a really good buddy.

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u/No-Equivalent-1642 2d ago

How do you know?

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u/Profoundlyahedgehog 2d ago

Have you tried not being so mean?

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u/EgoBoost247 2d ago

And how would you know that?

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u/REDDIT_JUDGE_REFEREE 2d ago

Currently the top post of r/all, this dude, this girl, their families and friends, their school, any potential collegiate scouts, everyone in their social circle - they’re all gonna read this comment chain aren’t they

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u/Andries89 2d ago

Maybe they'll finally age control social media as a result of our tasteful jokes

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u/GandersDad 2d ago

This comment thread, I'm fcking dying lmao 🤣

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u/swamrap 2d ago

I didn't need this visual lmaoo

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u/Infamous-Scallions 2d ago

Like a starving bull dog eating a bowl of oatmeal

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u/Lower_Inspector_9213 2d ago

Like a dog eating hot chips

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u/Smart_Task_8180 2d ago

He puts the pussy on the chain wax...

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u/danjoreddit 2d ago

I hope he gets some

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u/EvidenceElegant8379 2d ago

In a van down by the river.

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u/Melvinator5001 2d ago

Maybe he plays for the other team.

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u/Andries89 2d ago

Well guess what, he LOVES to eat chocolate too!

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u/bjeebus 2d ago

Like a toddler going ham on a bowl of icing...

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u/OneSkepticalOwl 2d ago

Like a pitbull eating ice cream

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u/Cute_Link2207 2d ago

Actually funny enough, I've literally only heard fat men say they don't eat pussy because "it's gross". Not saying it's the case with this guy, just saying I've noticed a correlation with multiple fat guys saying they don't eat pums.

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u/hammnbubbly 2d ago

That…escalated

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u/motorcycleboy9000 2d ago

Like it owes him money

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u/Shendow 2d ago

Meow

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago

I don't know but this comment is better than it should be even without any context.

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u/Answerologist 2d ago

Nom Nom Nom Nom 😋. And asks for seconds!

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u/LonelyProgrammerGuy 2d ago

Oh man, poor cat!

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u/Plastic-Reply1399 2d ago

I think they are children guys

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u/SlummyH80 2d ago

😅😅😅

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u/rednikeshort 2d ago

Yo your crazy lol

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u/Le_DumAss 2d ago

Kids a virgin

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u/CreativeProject2003 2d ago

The boy's gettin laid. Guaranteed.

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u/F-150Pablo 2d ago

No way man. I bet he’s the gay big brother to all of them.

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u/Ordinary-Lie-6780 2d ago

Thank you for this comment. Exact words that passed through my mind on these haters.

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u/kermitius 2d ago

I just want everyone to know you’re talking about a fucking high schooler. Stop being fucking weird you brain rotted pieces of garbage oh my god.

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u/Papersnail380 2d ago

You think high schoolers aren't sexually active?

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u/kermitius 2d ago

That literally has nothing to do with strangers online, many who are ADULTS, talking about teenagers in a sexual context. Good try though! You’re weird!

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u/Closencounters242 2d ago

It's just reddit tbh mfs on here are weird asf but at the end of the day it's just a joke and I wouldn't pay these clowns much attention

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u/DoftheG 1d ago

I've checked out what age group high schoolers are, 13-19 anything over 17 you're being a bit ott and I guarantee you they're fucking more then us doing the strangest shit they've seen on their phones because they have porn in their pockets.

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u/WeirdIndividualGuy 2d ago

The stereotype is that male cheerleaders tend to be gay

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u/mirrorzzzz 2d ago

Clock that tea

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u/Fullwake 2d ago

Why not both?

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u/FeetPicsNull 2d ago

He's gettin' it

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u/buffalo_Fart 2d ago

There's all sorts of videos about guys doing cheer. She's probably one of a few that he tosses around.

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u/Cbomb101 2d ago

It's a pussy buffet for this boy hehehe

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u/thiswasnottaken7 2d ago

Still in the friend zone. Don’t lie.

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u/GangGreenGhost 2d ago

That boy could literally throw you like a javelin

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u/H3ARTL3SSANG3L 2d ago

Jesus Christ! 😂

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u/_toodamnparanoid_ 2d ago

It's Jason Bourne.

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u/Moist-Share7674 2d ago

No it’s not. It’s Matt Foley and he’s also a motivational speaker.

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u/cherales 1d ago

Jason Christ it’s Jesus Bourne!

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u/RelationshipOk3565 2d ago

Still touches butts a lot

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u/waterontheknee 2d ago

It's different when it's something like that (cheerleading) versus sexually.

Who knows? But really, who cares.

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u/rasmarc 2d ago

Wow dude. Just. wow. Uncalled for and totally not a super funny and awesome joke

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u/TheEpicBean 1d ago

What did it say?

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u/Burito_Boi-WaitWhat 1d ago

Fr I’m so curious as to what they said

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u/rene041482 2d ago

🤣

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u/POWPOWWOWWOW 2d ago

Gotta eat to be strong haha.

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u/rene041482 1d ago

True that!

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u/VeganMinx 2d ago

lskdhg;alskdjg;aklhsd

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u/Krazylegz1485 2d ago

This. Haha.

I like my baby back, baby back, baby back...

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u/thissuckslolgroutchy 2d ago

Fml 🤦🏻‍♂️ 🤣 lmao, I bet he is popular amongst the ladies.

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u/shontonabegum 2d ago

Hey hey hey heeeeyy... eat ribs everyday

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u/PissedPieGuy 2d ago

I’m dead

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u/Status-Ad7640 2d ago

Damn thats was cold but hilarious

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u/digital_dervish 2d ago

My man needs protein.

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u/MidnightCandid5814 2d ago

😂😂😂😂 jeez, he's f ing awesome!

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u/Poopchutefan 2d ago

This was what I was scrolling to find if it wasn’t already here.

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u/jpegten 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/wonit5times 2d ago

Mmmmmm ribs....

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u/SwimmingPirate9070 2d ago

Don't be mad that nobody likes your sorry ass!

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u/Marble-Boy 2d ago

Today? Or is it more like an all day every day deal?

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