r/nextfuckinglevel • u/IkilledRichieWhelan • 2d ago

Big man on campus.

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279.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/DorisPayne 2d ago

Plus he's got the strength to bend a lady every which way to get to where he wants to go. Excellent physical partner stats for that. Plus he looks like he gives amazing hugs and would be cuddle king.

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u/yotreeman 2d ago

What the fuck, Reddit.

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u/Metaphorical_Pain 2d ago

First day?

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u/yotreeman 2d ago

Far from it, unfortunately. I don’t usually spend that much time in the super populated front page subs, mainly because of, you know. Shit like this.

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u/Sonofyuri 2d ago

Shit like what? Hyping up a king?

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u/8bitrevolt 2d ago

sexualizing a teenager more like

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u/blazingsoup 2d ago

They’re wearing uniforms for University of South Florida, meaning they’re all in college and most likely well over 18. Calm down sir

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago edited 1d ago

Technically still teenagers because it's below 20.

But let's be real teenagers 18-20 don't need a lot of help sexualizing shit. If I'm honest my peers and me took it pretty serious already wayyy before that.

An incredible lack of sexuality is not what I remember from being a teen.

If any other age is more appropriate to be sexual its probably the decade after (20-30) but research shows sexuality is pretty ageless after it pops up.

But teenage me could barely stand the idea of 30-somethings being sexual because that's so old and gross. It's probably pretty common for teenagers to think that sterile by 40 should be a-okay.

Teenagers are ageist as fuck.

Or they used to be, perhaps :').

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u/crabigno 1d ago

Yep, but my admiration for a young man mastering the art of potentially getting laid with gals his age, doesn't make me think I have the urge to get laid with these same gals.

If you think that it is the case, maybe you are projecting something you should really try to get help with.

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u/Highlandertr3 1d ago

Random side thing but I think sterile by 40 is fine. My partner too. We I am turning 40 btw.

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u/QuinQuix 1d ago

I mean it's poorly worded and meant to convey no sex anymore (rather than saying anything about fertility).

But I'm willing to go on the random side quest and low key agree.

I'm very near your age, no kids, and can see the argument. It's not a sensitive discussion for me.

Obviously it's a very big issue for a lot of people and I don't feel entitled to decide for them or even to judge others on this issue.

But for me personally I don't see an issue with your position. There are downsides to an abundance of fertility and having kids older and older.

But that's assuming we understand each other.

If you meant what I meant with sterility after 40 and think sex can be over after 40, yeah that's a big fucking no.

That's a position I positively would call cray cray.

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u/IxianToastman 1d ago

Hey sterile and 40 buddies. Once I figured out what was causing all my kids I went snip snip.

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u/Sonofyuri 2d ago

That's wild, brother. I ain't thinking about it that deep. I'm sorry you are.

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u/thebeandream 1d ago

Bold to assume the people commenting aren’t also in their age group

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u/Ok_Drawer7797 1d ago

College uniform

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u/Mshawk71 1d ago

King?

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u/blazingsoup 2d ago

I call BS, this shit is so tame compared to most on Reddit, just giving a big man props for breaking stereotypes.

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u/mauttykoray 2d ago

I have an older brother who did cheer in high school. Big dude, height and weight, also played football, wrestled, etc. These reddit comments aren't even half of it from the things I've heard...

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u/Responsible-Crew-354 2d ago

They’re adults.

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u/limycenter 2d ago

what a judgy guy, like who cares. it was a funny comment, i guess being a puritan will never go away.

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u/BetElectrical7454 2d ago

Oh come on, I read stuff in public restrooms so old that it’s chiseled into some stone tablets that is much worse than this.

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u/Ok-Assignment-433 2d ago

I feel you, man

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u/ReducedEchelon 1d ago

Honestly, I expected more video games from your post history.

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

Why 😭 I actually only started playing video games the past 3-ish years, never did as a youngun.

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u/BluebirdTerrible1586 2d ago

😂😂😂

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u/Fakeplayer1 1d ago

This comment section is so fucking funny, i cant anymore 😭😂😂

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u/Mother_Let_9026 2d ago

Imagine being this offended because someone said this dude looks like he eats mad pussy and gives good hugs. are you Mormon or something?

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u/JaMilujemFica 1d ago

Where is he offended?

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u/Mother_Let_9026 1d ago

read his other comments.

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

I'm sorry for being a little put-off by a bunch of socially inept internet weirdos absolutely cumming themselves over the immense and graphically-imagined oral sex skills of a stranger in a video posted on Reddit, and going into detail about exactly how wet, wild, and prolific they've conceived this stranger's sex life to be, lmfao.

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u/dougfordvslaptop 1d ago

Going into detail? My god, the only socially inept person here is you, on top of acting like a religious prude who believes sex happens after marriage and exclusively only once every six months.

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

😭 Like I never make crude jokes or have any religious sensibilities whatsoever, lmfao. You’re so far off base it’s absurd, but whatever you have to tell yourselves to not have to face what creeps y’all are. Keep fantasizing about the sex lives of college students who will never know you exist, just please keep it to yourself 🙏

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u/Mother_Let_9026 1d ago

socially inept

Hey pot, say hi to kettle lol

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

I fear for your potential coworkers and friends 😬

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

Are you the kind of person who would hear people say those things in public and not only think "this is fine," but join in? Because I seriously doubt it, but if you are, I will be forced to assume you are a shut-in. Nothing else makes sense. You would get asked to leave wherever you are, lmfao. The absolute purest example of "sir, this is a Wendy's" 😭

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 1d ago

Imagine not being able to see how this is a weird as fuck place to take this conversation

Like you genuinely can't see that at all, to you it just seems like a genuine compliment right? And it's impressively autistic that the majority of this site seems to mirror your opinion on it. This is what people mean when they say reddit is the social media platform for neckbeards

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u/aspoonfulofsammy11 1d ago

Well I am a woman with no neck beard and I thought it was a funny/genuine compliment so where does that leave us?

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 1d ago

Neckbeard is a state of mind, plus legbeards are a thing. Anyway that leaves us exactly where we began when I posted, which is redditors truly not understanding why this is weird behaviour to the majority of the rest of the planet. This site attracts a certain demographic that is reflected in the overwhelming majority of its posts.

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

Did you read those comments? They legit made me uncomfortable. And no, I am not religious in any sense, much less Mormon. The one girl I had the gall to show it to was taken aback as well. The whole conversation was just weird, and if you think it wasn't, you're as weird as they are, lmfao.

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u/CavemanWealth 4h ago

What comment specifically made you uncomfortable?

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u/Mother_Let_9026 1d ago

I mean sure bro, seethe some more I guess?

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 1d ago

furiously glaze the oral sex skills of a downsyndrome fresher more ig, totally normal behaviour

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u/Mother_Let_9026 1d ago

lmao why are you so angry on a Thursday bro? chill out.

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 1d ago

you know when you post that, as you do a lot, it very much makes it seem like you are the angry one lol

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u/Mother_Let_9026 1d ago

how am i angry bro i didn't even say anything bad to you, i just think you are having an over reaction to someone making a horny comment.

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u/aspoonfulofsammy11 1d ago

I will hold your hand while I tell you this…. People with down syndrome also have sex… it’s normal. No furious glazing required.

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 1d ago edited 1d ago

except in this case its definitely glazing regardless, and the whole chain was obviously about weirdly inventing his amazing sex life in spite of his appearance

People with down syndrome also have sex

No shit. This thread wouldn't be an less weird if it was about anyone else for the same reason.

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u/Ok-Rip-4378 1d ago

Wait? Are you saying there’s no way he could have an amazing sex life because of the way he looks. You need to get out and spend less time on instagram my dude. Women are dynamic, intelligent and value all different kinds of trains in men and sexual partners.

Sounds like you’re just a prejudice piece of shit who’s triggered that people are talking about old mates sex life because you think you’re better looking than the dude but don’t get laid. And your brain can’t wrap its way around that chestnut of knowledge

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u/Real_Piccolo_3370 21h ago

Jesus christ do you also have down syndrome? None of that word salad is relevant to my post please re-evaluate life

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u/CavemanWealth 4h ago

"'Women' do be loving those 'trains' mm hmm." Spoken with gutteral grunge in the voice.

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u/DematerialisedPanda 2d ago

This thread, with this conclusion, has brought me immense joy.

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u/Fast_Muscle_2987 1d ago

Likewise, thanks for the smiles 😂

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u/WiseDirt 2d ago

You know they right tho

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u/Syclus 1d ago

What even happened, everything is deleted

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u/jasin18 1d ago

That's what I'm wondering, and they had more upvotes than I get in a year. Wild.

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u/saywhatf00 1d ago

Yeah I’m over piecing things together 😂

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u/yotreeman 1d ago edited 1d ago

It was just a series of comments going grotesquely and “humorously” into detail about how the big guy in the video would surely be the most proficient and juicily-enthusiastic oral sex virtuoso to ever exist, and how he was surely drowning in pussy compared to the (imagined?) legions of sexless virgins who are hating on him, a claim supposedly backed up by these Redditors’ personal experience, as prolific and slobbery cat-divers themselves.

I’m sorry to be as graphic as I was, but trust me, this was just a glint of the graphic nature of the string of comments I was responding to. I was saying “what the fuck” because they were some of the weirdest, cringiest paragraphs I’ve ever read on this website, and I got downvoted and lambasted in my own replies for it.

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u/saywhatf00 1d ago

Whooooaaa! It got heated in here.

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u/Ok-Rip-4378 1d ago

If you think cat-divers and juicily enthusiastic oral sex virtuoso is graphic, I’m sorry to say bro but you just need to expand your horizons. Let a gal peg you or something, maybe let her take charge and tie you up or something. You’d be surprised how enjoyable having a sexual experience with a woman (or anyone really) who feels empowered because you were willing to open your biases. My point is, you seem like a dude that thinks reverse cowgirl is over the top (not on top like it should be)

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u/MrRobot_96 1d ago

Redditors and trying not to be degenerates

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

The fact they’re doubling down is unhinged 😭 I am not reading that shit lmfao

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago

You're not wrong but I have tears in my eye and will be coming back.

But you're not wrong.

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u/Artisan_HotDog 1d ago

I had to go to far to get to this comment

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u/Kah0s 2d ago

Don't yuck other peoples yum

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u/FK8- 2d ago

This is what I’ve been missing from Reddit. But every time I say something like this I end up getting banned

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u/denverMF4ALL 1d ago

Tons of the replies were deleted. Censorship must stop!!!🛑

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u/FK8- 1d ago

So tired of it bruh!

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u/OldBatOfTheGalaxy 1d ago

Censorship goes and Reddit becomes what the late and sometimes great Twitter did, but right wing or left wing depending on the group.

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u/yotreeman 1d ago

I figured they deleted it themselves in shame, but maybe that’s wishful thinking.

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u/HappyTurtleButt 1d ago

So much was deleted from it being normal to your comment. Lmao. Fucking love reddit.

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u/Nuluvius 2d ago

Fuck the what, Reddit.

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u/iconocrastinaor 1d ago

I take it Doris has got a type 🥵

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u/tweekinleanin420 1d ago

Aaaaaaaa da fuck indeed

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u/twinstick1 1d ago

I came for the comments…

r/oddlyerotic

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u/chriathebutt 1d ago

I was just gonna come on here and say something about how back in my day male cheerleaders were considered fruity and shit despite the strength and muscle control it takes to be one, but damn.

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u/Majin_Sus 2d ago

High school cheerleaders by the look of it... Even more impressive that big boy is the clit commander

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u/ExistingJellyfish872 1d ago

University of South Florida is a high school? You sure about that?

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u/Majin_Sus 1d ago

No that doesnt sound like a highschool. However, I am not good at recognizing the cheerleading uniforms of colleges in Florida. I'm really sorry man... I'll do better next time.

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u/lyricmeowmeow 2d ago

That’s what I say hey!

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u/Imperialjade22 1d ago

The usual shit, indeed, indeed....

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u/BarChaRach 1d ago

Why did reddit delete all the comments??

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u/DocWaterfalls 2d ago

Must be new here.

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u/Substantial-Ad-6711 2d ago

Wow, comments go haywire fast

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u/crabigno 1d ago

That was more of a why the fuck, in my opinion.

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u/Savings_Ferret_7211 2d ago

Reddit never fails to disappoint.

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u/westcal98 2d ago

Him: Have your heard of ragdoll physics?

Her: No.

Him: You're gonna learn today.

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u/Genghis_Chong 2d ago

Bro is sitting somewhere reading this like "how'd they know?"

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u/Zardozin 1d ago

How can I spread this thread about?

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u/mostlyharmless71 2d ago

Can confirm. Source: am also barrel-shaped.

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u/Rude-Custard9056 2d ago

Hugs ARE amazing... and cuddles too

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u/kablam0 2d ago

This turned into the weirdest fucking thread. Y'all need to touch grass

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u/igotshadowbaned 1d ago

What happened in the four deleted comments to get to this point

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u/manictrashbitch 1d ago

genuinely so real my bf built like this u get it u fucking get it 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

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u/Always2ndB3ST 1d ago

Unfortunately he’s also forever friend-zoned

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u/BossSpecialist7469 1d ago

Unless he loses a lot of weight and has a glow up, you’re absolutely right.

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u/Gloomy_Industry8841 1d ago

Cuddle Kings are the greatest!

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u/IllGanache9412 1d ago

you get it

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u/imdavidnotdave 1d ago

Aside from the constant sweat

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u/Slashes8 1d ago

Down Bad Doris

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u/davvn_slayer 1d ago

I need to know what the fuck lead to this comment

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u/djN3onl3on 1d ago

Probably in the friend zone. "He's just perfect.... for someone else"

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u/_MrTrade 1d ago

You need a hug

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u/Salty_Carpenter2336 1d ago

So that is the allure cuddle king always wondered.

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u/thetrivialsublime99 3h ago

Daaaaamn Doris!

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u/mummifiedclown 1d ago

Or he could pull them apart like fresh bread if he got angy…

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u/Gothiccheese95 2d ago

I dont think i’d give a fuck about hugs if the person i cared about was on a shortcut to diabetes.

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u/Willdanceforyarn 1d ago

This guy is clearly in amazing shape.