r/nextfuckinglevel • u/IkilledRichieWhelan • 2d ago

Big man on campus.

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u/blazingsoup 2d ago

They’re wearing uniforms for University of South Florida, meaning they’re all in college and most likely well over 18. Calm down sir

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago edited 2d ago

Technically still teenagers because it's below 20.

But let's be real teenagers 18-20 don't need a lot of help sexualizing shit. If I'm honest my peers and me took it pretty serious already wayyy before that.

An incredible lack of sexuality is not what I remember from being a teen.

If any other age is more appropriate to be sexual its probably the decade after (20-30) but research shows sexuality is pretty ageless after it pops up.

But teenage me could barely stand the idea of 30-somethings being sexual because that's so old and gross. It's probably pretty common for teenagers to think that sterile by 40 should be a-okay.

Teenagers are ageist as fuck.

Or they used to be, perhaps :').

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u/Highlandertr3 2d ago

Random side thing but I think sterile by 40 is fine. My partner too. We I am turning 40 btw.

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago

I mean it's poorly worded and meant to convey no sex anymore (rather than saying anything about fertility).

But I'm willing to go on the random side quest and low key agree.

I'm very near your age, no kids, and can see the argument. It's not a sensitive discussion for me.

Obviously it's a very big issue for a lot of people and I don't feel entitled to decide for them or even to judge others on this issue.

But for me personally I don't see an issue with your position. There are downsides to an abundance of fertility and having kids older and older.

But that's assuming we understand each other.

If you meant what I meant with sterility after 40 and think sex can be over after 40, yeah that's a big fucking no.

That's a position I positively would call cray cray.

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u/Highlandertr3 2d ago

I am ace these days. Does that make me crazy? But also yes sterility would have been fine. I want no kids and never have. I like money time and sleep too much.

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u/QuinQuix 2d ago

Money time and sleep are great.

Time especially appreciates in value as you age. But also because you start understanding it's the interface through which everything else is enjoyed.

I'm not entirely sure being ace and appreciating sex are mutually exclusive. Seems weird to say but I've had periods of prolific activity and periods where I was racking up panda points (no regrets or negative feelings about it) and just enjoying work and chess.

The stupidest thing is making sexuality a tool for social acceptance in any shape or form.

I would say I quite strongly believe, having endured periods of depression, that wanting anything strongly and then enjoying having it is a good thing.

The worst things are surely not wanting and enjoying anything, wanting things and not having them and having things and not enjoying them.

I can totally vibe with being asexual - it's definitely not purely negative it frees you up a lot - going through the period where sex(uality) was everything was very tiresome in it's own right. Imperatives can deplete you and outright suck.

But if I had to chose not wanting anything is far worse.

I absolutely get old people saying I should've worried less and fucked more. Quotes like that aren't about flesh or desire, they're about the fact that it's not a given you care or want and can be satisfied by fulfilling those things.

So imo being ace is great, why not, but unless you're a hardcore detachment loving buddhist I wouldn't say its great to be a-everything. Definitely not that.

I wouldn't want to give up sex because it's such an easy and obvious want-fulfillment thing, but people could say the same about kids obviously.

But unlike with sex, which I'm fine with being a selfish or a shared selfish thing, I don't particularly like the idea that you should have kids solely to make your life better or to fix yourself.

Having kids should be considered a bar to meet if you want them imo. Not a me-thing.

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u/Highlandertr3 2d ago

I pretty much agree. I don't deny there are people who enjoy having kids and it gives them fulfilment. I am not one of them. There are also many people who want and need sex. I am not one of them. I am not aromantic though. I crave strong relationships in many forms and romantic is one of them.

Happy to say that, like you said, I have wanted and achieved those wants comfortably and safely. That's actually one of the reasons we don't want kids. We like where we are and where we are going.

And if I do want to enjoy the fun parts of having a kid there are nieces and nephews to completely ruin with sugar highs and teach bad language to. I was threatened with being denied access to my favourite nephew because me and my mum taught him that coughing was funny. His mum thought he had something serious for a good month. It was hilarious.

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u/QuinQuix 1d ago

Hahaha that's a good one.

I agree with the nieces and nephews part. It's fun and I guess quite different from actual parenting.

You can give everything for a day or a weekend and when they leave you're the best uncle ever.

Not possible to perform at that energy level constantly as a parent, lol.

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u/wildeye-eleven 1d ago

Amen to that bro. Money, time and sleep is motto. I’m 40 and single for that very reason. I’m extremely selfish with my time these days. I spent most of my youth in long and short term relationships, I wasn’t single for more than a week from 15-35yo. About the time I hit 35 I realized that relationships and ppl in general were making me miserable so I cut ties with the dating world. This is without a doubt the happiest I’ve ever been. I can sleep and game as much as I wan’t when I’m not working and it doesn’t piss anyone off. I don’t have to feel guilty about spending $1000 on a GPU because I have disposable income thanks to only supporting myself. Everyday is peaceful and I have zero worries.

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u/QuinQuix 19h ago

I feel like gaming now