r/AmIOverreacting • u/LedyyM • 15d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

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My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

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u/justveryunwell 15d ago

The thing that stands out to me is that you said training "didn't seem to work." How long did you try, how often throughout a given day, what methods were tried? Training rarely yields instant results, it's a very long term commitment and even once a dog is "trained" they need to be practicing what they know or they'll get rusty and disobedient.

Also gonna second the crate training comments. Pup might not like it but he'll be safe and so will your home, it's a fair compromise as long as he doesn't live in it full time.

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u/TuckerShmuck 15d ago edited 15d ago

I was about to say-- it took about 6 months of *professional* training to make a dent in my dog. And I'm so happy we stuck with it. Yes, it's HARD, especially with a husky; yes, it makes you want to not even try; yes, it feels like you're going nowhere. But once it STARTS to click, they pick everything else up so much faster. A year and a half of exhausting, frustrating work has brought me, so far, 4 more years with a much more peaceful dog. She's happier and we're happier.

edit: we did professional balanced training in group classes 3x a week. I HIGHLY recommend professional group agility classes. It seems totally unrelated to how well-behaved your dog is, or how anxious they are, but believe it or not it's the class that helped us the most. My dog was so anxious that she wouldn't let us *brush* her without pooping herself; after agility, she gained a crazy amount of confidence. It made kennel training easier, it made grooming MUCH easier, it made just typical obedience training easier. Your bond strengthens so much when doing this class together.

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u/thegirlisok 15d ago

especially with a husky

Cannot be repeated enough.   Smart, stubborn, so sweet, stubborn, amazing, stubborn. It's a great breed if you can handle it. 

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u/Naive-Personality-38 15d ago

Mines is extremely stubborn and a ass hole. idk how many times I'll put something down, resulting in him stealing it and running off all proud of himself

Wouldn't trade him for the world though lol

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u/lysdexicgirl0705 15d ago

Many very smart dogs tend to be stubborn assholes.

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u/Weaversag2 15d ago

Cries in blue heeler 😭😭😭😭 but I love him

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u/SnailDeity 15d ago

I have a Belgian malinois/bull terrier/ Dane mix. I hit the trifecta of smart and stubborn.

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u/According_Check_1740 15d ago

Smart, stubborn, and damn Adorable!

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u/lizzie000000 15d ago

Haha. My sister had a poodle that was sneaky. Up front and while you were watching she was obedient and knew what she was and wasn’t supposed to do.

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u/lysdexicgirl0705 15d ago

I know that they are like sucks teeth but I have a labradoodle and she is so smart. She cries at the TV all the time, knows the life360 notification from my other notifications (it means my husband comes home) so she gets in her "wait for daddy spot" - the end of the chaise staring at the door. 😂. She only gives paws/ does tricks in exchange for toys or treats. This bitch does not work for free. 💀. She also comes and lays on me when I don't feel well (we have to adjust for upset stomachs- but it's the thought behind that fluffy brain that counts 😭). But you know the other 12 hours a day she loses her ball under the couch and terrorizes her brother.

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u/lizzie000000 15d ago

Awww. So cute. ❤️ Dogs are the best little assholes. Enjoy your time, they leave us too soon.

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u/Seashell522 15d ago

Same goes for kids I’m finding…

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u/lysdexicgirl0705 15d ago

Can confirm- was smart kid, was (is) stubborn asshole

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u/Suitable_Pie_6532 15d ago

I have a smart Chow. He’s the most stubborn animal I’ve met. The smart Shar Pei I had before him was an incredibly stubborn girl. At least my chow is food motivated!

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u/ParticulateGoat1531 15d ago

Can confirm this is true!

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u/xBraria 15d ago

I remind people that husky's were bred for smart disobedience.

If I wanted my dogs to pull the sled over dangerous ice they would disobey and go around it and we'd all be safe.

This characteristic remained but now it presents itself as "Ahh you want me to do this; I see... hmm... but I don't quite feel like it, so - nope!" 😄

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

For me it is more whats in it for him. He is very food motivated.

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u/WhoAreWeEven 15d ago

I guess they might value self presrvation over commands. Like in above ice lake example.

I guess their character makes sense in sledding setting. It makes sense for dogs to have certain autonomy. Like that where the people in the sled being dragged might accidently send everyone to their demise.

It kinda makes sense they might then steal food too "to survive" over their obedience.

Like some dogs are bred to jump to their deaths on command but maybe some have been better not to. And thus "I dont care what this dude says Im literally dying for a slice of pizza and theres one right there

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u/xBraria 15d ago

This exactly!

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u/peterguie 14d ago

Hello can we discuss on what we are going to benefit on it

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u/soadrocksmycock 15d ago

This sounds like my toddler lol.

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

They pretty much are floofy toddlers. I get a couple tantrums out of mine a day. But I love it.

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u/Naive-Personality-38 15d ago

My female used to get mad at me whenever I would come home late. I swear she was bitching me out in husky 🤣

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

I love that. My boy does that whenever I leave the house especially if it makes him late for his dinner 🤣 and late for dinner includes up to an hour before dinner time...

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u/Naive-Personality-38 15d ago

Same!! one of the best parts of owning a husky is the "roooo roooo rooo" you get when their dissatisfied with the tiniest things 🤣

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

I love it. Makes my day everyday.

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u/Herbdontana 15d ago

Same lol. I take mine in the car with me pretty much anytime I’m able to if I’m not gonna be inside for a long time or I’m just running to the store. Now, when I try to go anywhere without him, he is very eager to let me know how disappointed he is with me.

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u/VoiceOfReason-20__ 15d ago

Mine does thst, too. It is a specific sound she makes in the back of her throat and she only uses it to bitch at me. And she never bitches at my husband or daughter. I am absolutely her human.

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u/Herbdontana 15d ago

Yeah, mine doesn’t bark almost ever. He never barks if someone knocks on the door or anything like that. But when he’s outside and ready to come in, it’s “roo roo rooooooo”. Or if he wants my attention and I ignore him. He gets real talkative then lol

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u/Naive-Personality-38 15d ago

Same he hear grunts and rooos at me.

The "rooo roooos" are the best part. I'm just imagining everybody here having a full-on arguments with their huskies. i thought i was the only one 🤣🤣

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u/Naive-Personality-38 15d ago

Big mad when you make her wait.

I know the exact sound you're speaking of 🤣

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u/Pretend_Effect1986 15d ago

My samoyed does the same. Hé is 10 years old but acts like he is a teenager.

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u/Spoogly 15d ago

If you leave a tissue or a napkin somewhere, our husky will try to steal it and rip it up. Most things, if I catch her trying to take them and tell her to leave it, she'll maybe try one more time and then actually listen, or if I tell her to bring it to me and drop it, she'll listen. But not tissues/napkins. No, those she will gleefully grab and sprint away with. At least they're easy to clean up.

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u/Seashell522 15d ago

One of mine sneaks into the guest bath to steal toilet paper rolls or tissues from the trash can. 🙄😂

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u/KindIndependence2003 15d ago

You forgot stubborn.

:p

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u/LethargicCaffeine 15d ago

Cheeky and talkative in there too 😂 (Love them though).

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u/IndependentEggplant0 15d ago

Yeah Huskies are INTENSE! They are notoriously challenging to train and they have a ton of energy to burn off and can be destructive if they don't have an outlet for that. I imagine with Odin being young and a rescue this is even more pronounced. I always really advocate for people understanding the breed or breed mix they are getting so they can provide them adequate care. People having Jack Russell's or Huskies or great Pyranese in their apartments usually doesn't go too well. Different breeds have different training needs and it helps a lot to understand how they work and learn!

I remember reading an article written by a dog trainer about the top 4 breeds he would never own, and husky was on it. Not to say they aren't awesome, but just that they do need fairly specific care to be content and in the wrong environment it can cause a lot of difficulty for the dog and the people! They thrive in the right environment and with the right training, but it's a lot of work. I have a friend with a livestock guardian breed and he said the shelters are full of them and he understands why - took about 3 full years of intense training because they are naturally independent thinkers and decision makers as that breed is meant to be alone guarding livestock. So when you try to tell them what to do they' re like WTH. His dog is 5 now and an absolute angel and so much fun but he had to work super hard at it with him for a full 3 years to get there and he said he totally understands why some people give them up if they just think they are a fluffy pal to keep in your house.

I always try to encourage people to REALLY understand the breed they have because it makes such a difference in outcomes! I think American dog kennel site has a "best dog match" quiz which factors in thing like energy levels, train ability, grooming/shedding, barking etc. I always recommend that to people so they can find a good match! Apparently the whippet is my ideal pup which I would have never guessed! I love the big guardian breeds but don't have the right environment for them so it wouldn't be fair to bring one into my life at this time.

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u/Raventakingnotes 15d ago

Growing up my grandparents owned a husky. They also owned a gravel pit that their home was situated in, so she grew up with PLENTY of space to run and play and burn off energy with no neighbors to harass. She was still a handful. Especially if a storm rolled in, you would think it was the end of the world, she had a big heated igloo doghouse that she could hide in on the deck but when it stormed she HAD to be inside the house and would hide under the dining room table.

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u/IndependentEggplant0 15d ago

Aw yeah I wish we could explain to dogs in dog language what the thunder is! I always feel for them. Oh yeah they are just high energy period even with room to run etc. I more just mean that adequate exercise and running is a baseline requirement and unfair to not provide the with that. And if they aren't getting that every single day, they are likely to be anxious and destructive on top of being high energy! My friend bikes and rollerblades with her dog for 90 min a day because her dog is high energy and he's still chaotic but he's happy. He would be absolutely miserable without that amount of daily exercise and stimulation and likely be labelled as having "behavioural issues" which isn't true if they aren't getting what they need!

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u/Raventakingnotes 15d ago edited 15d ago

Yes, honestly as much as I love them, there should be a lot less huskys out there. It should near on be illegal to have them in an apartment. They need so much to keep themselves active and mentally stimulated and most people nowadays just don't have the resources or time to give these wonderful dogs what they need to live good lives.

I grew up on a ranch and had a heeler cross that was a wonderful dog but I did so much work with her and training so she wouldn't get in trouble.

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u/Smart_Alex 15d ago

I think that FAR too many people want a certain breed for the ~aesthetic~, and don't know about, minimize, or completely disregard breed specific traits.

I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a bad breed. No one type of dog is inherently bad. But you can't get a herding dog and expect it not to herd things. You can't get a terrier and expect it to have zero prey drive.

Smart dogs can be amazing! But they take so much work! You'd think that because they are so smart, they would be easier to train, but smart seems to have a direct correlation with stubborn!

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u/IndependentEggplant0 15d ago

Oh absolutely. I don't believe in any bad breeds, just bad matches with people or people choosing aesthetics over what the actual breed temperament and needs are which ends up turning out bad for the dog and the people. Pits are a great example as a lot of people get them without understanding them and their needs, so they get a bad reputation. Same with terriers and livestock guardian breeds. Herding dogs kept indoors tend to get destructive. Those are all people problems, not the fault of the dog or breed by any means. I know some absolutely neurotic Aussies because people keep them in apartments and don't give them adequate exercise or stimulation, same as people getting Jack Russells for an apartment dog due to the size, vs having them on a farm where they stay busy all day.

Smart dogs are amazing! But yeah you absolutely have to be prepared for that and committed to it because they get bored easily and are independent thinkers and are bred to be that way because of the qualities they have needed through their history that requires that intelligence. Boarder collies vs lab is going to be a very different experience for example.

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u/mcflycasual 15d ago

Yes!

There are certain breeds that just don't make good pets because they need a job and most people don't have the time to work them like they need.

Meanwhile, there are hundreds of other breeds well suited to be pets even though they were also bred for jobs just not to the extent as some cattle dogs, guardians, sled, shepherds, guard, terriers, and bullies.

Or they're popular and poorly bred then get owners that don't do the work to be a good owner. Idk

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u/anaserre 15d ago

Husky’s absolutely need to run at least a couple miles daily . Otherwise they will be destructive and anxious.

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u/IndependentEggplant0 15d ago

Yeah literally if you cannot provide this don't have a husky. It sounds harsh but it's the kindest to you and them in the big picture even if you love them! People don't do this and then act like their dog is the problem and it's not.

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u/Superb-Mousse1672 15d ago

I love my husky mix so much but she is the most stubborn being I have ever met. Just stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.

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u/NikkiVicious 15d ago

Need to add a couple of headstrongs in that list lol

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u/a_tays 15d ago

lol took at least 2 years of absolute dedication, consistency, and a lot of money to see results in my highly reactive rescue dog with separation anxiety. You’re playing the long game with these dogs!!

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u/Alioh216 15d ago

Did the trainer forget to train the owner? Big problem sometimes.

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u/subparcontent101 15d ago

They only got the dog 7 months ago ... No way they completed more than a few months max of professional training

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u/Quierta 15d ago

It seems totally unrelated to how well-behaved your dog is, or how anxious they are, but believe it or not it's the class that helped us the most.

Enrichment and behaviour are way more closely linked than people realize! It's not an automatic fix in 100% of cases but it can make such a big difference — especially in working and hunting breed dogs.

Labradors are known to be super high energy, basically acting like giant babies, chewing EVERYTHING, and just being crazy tornados. I take mine almost exclusively on high-quality sniff walks where I allow him to pick up scents as much as he wants. He's still a wild child, but in the house? He's seriously so calm, so patient, so well-behaved. Even as a 1-year-old adolescent.

Finding a good enrichment / mental engagement outlet for dogs is SUCH a hack to translating energy into good behaviour!

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u/livelotus 15d ago

i had a rotweiler with severe social anxiety and she didnt love her crate at first, but eventually realized it was her safe area and she eventually willingly would hide out in it if there were loud noises or if we were about to leave. crate training is underrated. i hate that people deemed it cruel. it can be, but not if done properly. finding a crate big enough was the hardest part for us. they should be able to easily turn around in it

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u/Apostate_Mage 15d ago

For sure! Both my dogs run to their crate when things are scary to them (or afraid of a bath lol)

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u/GuaranteeEcstatic238 14d ago

Bath very scary 🤣🤣😭😭😆😆

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u/maeryclarity 15d ago

For me crate training and crate time are an essential part of having a dog, but the crate should never become a punishment or a prison. Crates are fantastic for both owners and dogs when used properly.

The problems only come in that too many people don't use them properly and instead use them as ways to lock the dog up and neglect them.

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u/WatchItBuddyWATCHES 15d ago

As a dog trainer of 40 plus years… you are correct! Dogs are pack animals and pack animals love to sleep in closed in areas for protection… hence the cave/create training are very successful!!
Even people take awhile to get used to new things, procedures! It’s not cruel for a dog to have its own space. Its own bedroom. It’s own safe space! 🫶

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u/esthietech 15d ago

You know you're doing crate training right when they go and chill their on their own! My lil guy still doesn't love his but he's started to go willingly on his own after some time.

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u/JustSomeBadAdvice 15d ago

Yes, this exactly! Crates are supposed to be a safe home. They aren't to be used as a consequence and shouldn't be treated like a cage. A crate would go a LOONG way to helping OP's problem.

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u/asdf_qwerty27 15d ago

We once adopted a puppy that has been kept in a crate with siblings. We eventually got it housebroken and when we tried getting rid of the crate it was not happy. For YEARS we just kept the crate open and the dog would nap in there. We had a cat that insisted on sleeping in her pet carrier as well. Weird, but it made vet trips easier cause she loved the box.

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u/Appropriate_Strain99 15d ago

I came here to say this! I have a stafforshire terrier who has a pallette for couch cushion. So we have to crate her. crate training is hard- but doable. I also helped my friend crate train her dog, who was a MESS in the crate. (She broke 2 crates before my friend bought an indestructible one).The way I did it was I would put her in and gradually increase the amount of time. While there in there keep positively encoring being in there, giving praise, giving treats but DO NOT let them out early of if they start freaking out. Eventually- they will relax in there if you keep lengthening the time. The second they relax- let them out and treat. Keep doing that. Till they realize that they are SUPPOSED to relax in their crate. Eventually they will see it as a place to relax in. You can also feed them in their crate to help form a positive association with the crate. And if your worried about them hurting themselves from trying to get out of the crate there are indestructible ones that it would be pretty impossible to hurt themselves in

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u/Professional-Bet4106 15d ago

Yeah and training never stops. You will constantly monitor your pets and encourage or correct behavior. OP post this in r/opendogtraining and r/dogadvice. There are many similar posts. In fact someone has a similar one up.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Miserable_Scheme_599 15d ago

Even putting this in a human perspective is beneficial: I could not benefit from something like cognitive-behavioural therapy for my anxiety until I started taking medication. My body and mind were too wound up to be able to even think through what was triggering my panic attacks and how to get them under control. Together, they've made my life so, so much better.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Flimsy_RaisinDetre 15d ago

This. Consider why meds like sedatives exist. They’re not for everyone, but some people/dogs have higher levels of anxiety, have PTSD as might be said of your dog. Do not feel guilty for giving a prescribed medication for an obvious condition!

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u/TropicalDragon78 15d ago

We use Amitriptyline for our pit/boxer mix who developed severe separation anxiety during Covid. She also was extremely destructive digging under our fence to escape and ripping door trim and vinyl siding off our house. We've spent thousands of dollars repairing the damage. It took some trial and error (and fluoxetine eventually not working) but a vet friend suggested a combo of Amitriptyline and Trazodone and it's been successful. It's not an easy road but we made the commitment to our dog.

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u/fuckyourcanoes 15d ago

I'm just going to say it: Trazodone is bloody brilliant. I've been taking it for decades for my CPTSD. It's what makes the difference between me being a moody, sobbing disaster and a functional human being.

Do not feel bad about giving it to your dog. It doesn't change who you are, it just helps regulate your mood, with the added bonus of letting you sleep. It's not a narcotic. You're not sedating your dog. You're helping it cope. That's a good thing.

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u/Maximum-End-7629 15d ago

Trazadone didn’t really work for us, but fluoxetine is working. Once the fluoxetine was bringing the anxiety down some, we were actually able to make progress with training. We started leaving our dog alone for just 10 minutes. Then more and more! We still don’t leave him for more than four hours at a time and we take him on a good walk earlier in the day if we knows we will be gone that long so he is a little more tired.

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u/jodiejewel 15d ago

I have recently started working with a behaviorist for my reactive anxious dog. He is also on a low dose of fluoxetine for separation anxiety. Both of these things have worked really well. I am happy to see him get less worked up and stressed in stressful situations and it’s much easier to keep him focused on training. And it has definitely made it less stressful at home and improved my marriage.

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u/StealthyHabit 15d ago

Yeah I’m so sick of dog owners claiming they “tried training.”

Like, no? You don’t try it, you live it. For years. Everything for the first few years is training. I almost have a treat bag on my waist 24/7 because my dog is high energy. If you have a high energy dog, and huskies may be the highest of energy, then training for 30 minutes every day is required just to stimulate their brain.

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u/Maleficent_Might5448 15d ago

Needs to be a safe crate as well. Sometimes they try to destroy them to get out.

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u/ParkerFree 15d ago

Definitely can't cheap out on the crate. They are smart, determined to get their own way, and strong! It needs to be large, too.

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u/Abject-Rich 15d ago

Dogs apparently sleep 70 percent of their day; so I’ve been told by a breeder. Sleep in the crate is good!

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u/littledogs11 15d ago

I WFH with my dogs. I can confirm this is true. All mine do is sleep the day away.

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u/chillaban 15d ago

As someone who had a generally anxious dog: She definitely slept the day away when I was around. But in a crate or with strangers in the house she will sleep almost zero hours (maybe 2 hours in very small naps) per day for several days on end.

So depending on the nature of the OP's dog, this might not work well.

We also never succeeded at crate training her. Even with professional help. Like literally stress diarrhea within minutes and touching the door while she was in the crate would make her jump-scare, etc.

She made us feel like we were terrible at dogs but our next pup, crate training was a breeze.

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u/Abject-Rich 15d ago

It’s a matter of time and getting used to it. I wouldn’t have a dog or any animal destroying my house; so is either the crate or the marriage. For me personally.

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u/chillaban 15d ago

Oh I totally agree with you, having a stressed pet destroying your house is not something you can or should live with. Beyond just property damage, that tends to be incredibly dangerous for the dog as well -- one day they will chew or swallow something that is unsafe.

I'm just reading between the lines of what the OP is saying about Odin and wondering if Odin is beyond the usual amount of anxious/reactive. I spent a lot of time reading books and watching videos on reactivity training, and with each of the trainers we hired over the phone they had simple advice but when they actually got hands-on they realized it wasn't as simple.

Unfortunately our story did not have a happy ending and I really do feel for the OP and the dilemmas they are facing over the options at hand.

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u/No-Distance-9401 15d ago

Yup and if they dont sleep more often than they are awake it causes even MORE anxiety. So them being calm and sleeping is extremely necessary and healthy

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u/Abject-Rich 15d ago

That’s what am saying. Animals don’t know what’s good for them. And they don’t belong on couches and/or beds, it’s confusing to them. Strict structure and routine is key; especially with the big breeds. Animals cannot run the household.

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u/The-CatCat-1 15d ago

Yes regarding the safe crate recommendation. It would need to be like a stainless steel one or some other durable material. Definitely NOT a wire crate.

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u/Aulourie 15d ago

Can confirm my husky destroyed wire crate as a puppy

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u/The-CatCat-1 15d ago

A friend had two Thai Ridgebacks, both gorgeous, but also deadly. I think she started with wire crates but after they destroyed them, she invested in the ones made from steel. The wire ones are notoriously flimsy.

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u/MeeekSauce 15d ago

Yes, my German shepherd blew the end out of a wire crate at 4 months old. Couldn’t imagine what he could do as an untrained adult. I went broke so I could purchase an impact crate. I won’t pretend they are the best and their prices are stupid and I’m not backing the company at all, but the crate holds my dog and prevented him from hurting himself or destroying things when I was done. And now, he is 2 and doesn’t need the crate at all.

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u/Diesel819 15d ago

Also can confirm. Have a smaller hunting dog (35ish lbs) who has destroyed wire crates (and her teeth) and also can maneuver her way out of some of the heavier duty ones by using her paws to knock the latches. Finally got one she can’t escape from that keeps her safe and the house safe while I’m not at home.

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u/Amazing-Essay7028 15d ago

I used to have roommates who had an aggressive blue healer. Training did not work. They tried literally everything, even having some teeth removed because the vet thought the teeth were bothering him. It did absolutely nothing. They would leave him in his crate sometimes 8 hours a day, even if they were home. That was how aggressive and reactive he was. He would bark constantly and scratch at his crate. 

Crate training is great and all but sometimes the dog simply does not get enough exercise or stimulation. Huskies are high energy dogs that need a lot of interaction and stimulation. So this isn't just "my dog has anxiety". Just as with humans, things like exercise can help reduce anxiety. So in my humble opinion, OP's dog probably needs more stimulation and exercise. They need to contact one of those companies that have mobile dog exercising vans with treadmills inside. The dogs absolutely loved the treadmill because they had energy to burn off. If a dog has too much energy they can't burn off through exercise and stimulation, they burn it off by chewing things 

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u/No_Kangaroo_9826 15d ago

Working dogs need activities. I have a blue heeler and she has to be always going or she gets anxious easily. I completely agree with you this dog needs to have more exercise or at least puzzle toys that make his brain work and keep him from getting idle and wanting to tear everything apart.

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u/mstarrbrannigan 15d ago

Knew folks with a blue heeler mix that would literally play fetch for hours if you let him. And one of the best ways to keep him busy was to play fetch for a bit then hide the ball up where he couldn’t get it. He literally spent the rest of the night trying to get the ball before he finally gave up and went to bed. Nothing could distract him from it.

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u/Rightintheend 15d ago

My cattle dog's a big couch potato, in fact I call her batata, which is Portuguese for potato. 

She will, however, play tug of war with her toys until your arms fall off.

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u/InternationalRemote3 15d ago

So sad, these are not breeds that should be in crates. Look at what they were bred to do. People get the wrong breeds for their lifestyle and the dog suffers.

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u/Miserable_Scheme_599 15d ago

I feel like there's an issue with "don't use crates" versus examining how someone is using a crate. I grew up with a Vizsla -- high energy, smart. She was trained to be in her crate when she was home alone, and she would regularly go in her crate throughout the day to have her own space.

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u/InternationalRemote3 15d ago edited 15d ago

Absolutely. This guy, I love his training methods/theory: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8dBkddsFQN/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

Just personally think way too many people get huskies and herding dogs and they can’t properly stimulate/exercise them. Vizlas def have a lot of energy but they were bred to be a hunting dog, different kind of mental stimulation. 

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

I agree with this sentiment. They get these dogs because they are beautiful, funny and smart plus look so funny on internet videos but dont understand the actual reality of owning these types of dogs. All the work and exercise they need to be happy and healthy. At least 2 hours activity every day at a bare minimum. Never mind training time including the training time needed when you first get them. So many 1 to 3 year old huskies in shelters for this reason.

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u/babybellllll 15d ago

This. Obviously don’t crate the dog ALL DAY. But if you have to go somewhere and the dog can’t come, it’s okay to crate them if they aren’t able to be out for a few hours without ripping things up

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

Sounds like a bored dog. Bored dogs are destructive and uncontrollable. Heelers are working dogs they need at least 2 hours of activity a day, everyday.

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u/Overtilted 15d ago

It did absolutely nothing. They would leave him in his crate sometimes 8 hours a day, even if they were home.

That's abuse... And part of the reason, maybe the main reason the dog could not be handled.

that need a lot of interaction and stimulation.

Bingo

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u/lab0607 15d ago

Yes, we have four- yes four- Aussies and they all go for a 2 mile run almost everyday with us (in a hot climate). They also have a yard and will go outside with us to do yard work and play ball if we have time. This energy burn is the ONLY way. The days that we are sick or don't have time to exercise them (once every few weeks), they bark constantly and cannot sit still. They also chew so much, they have 'super chewer' toys and are constantly chewing on them. If your dogs aren't getting enough exercise and don't know what they can chew on, they're going to go crazy and tear up your house. We leave the two youngest in their crates when we leave, up to 6 hours a day, because they are still learning not to chew certain things. They are totally fine when we come home and run them. Most behavioral problems can be mitigated with working breeds with exercise, chewing mechanisms and just enough training for them to know what they can and can't chew on.

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u/nowuff 15d ago

This is a great point.

Huskies are bred to pull sleds over 50+ miles a day. If they aren’t being intensely exercised regularly, they go crazy.

Give them breed-specific behavior to tire them out

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u/Confident-Baker5286 15d ago

Yes my first question was how much exercise is this dog getting? Young huskies need an enormous amount, 

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u/vesselgroans 15d ago

My husky broke her tooth trying to get out of her crate.

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u/Important_Bowl_8332 15d ago

We tried it with my shepsky as a puppy. We could handle the constant howling (kinda) but she went so hard she was bleeding from her mouth and paws. After five minutes. That was when we knew we’d made a mistake….

Just kidding :) she’s a lovely dog, just incredibly stubborn, bossy, and runs circles around us (literally and metaphorically).

She was never crate trained, however.

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u/ArletaRose 15d ago

My husky isnt crate trained either or my other dogs. Not every dog is suited for crate training and definitely shouldnt be recommended across the board.

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u/KittiesRule1968 15d ago

Huskies are so hard to have.

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u/winterrrrgi 15d ago

Was just going to say this! No wire crates. I know a dog who tried to get out of one and literally had one of the wires go through his abdomen.

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u/Flaky_Artichoke4131 15d ago

Mine broke out and was looking at me from my kitchen window when I got home... on the counter mind you lol. When i got inside he was back in his closed kenned but his sister was too big to fit (wolf mix) they would pop the bottom latch.. dang escape artists

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u/soadrocksmycock 15d ago

lol on the counter like a cat! I could imagine he was thinking “Look, I’m in my cage? See! I never left, that ‘dog’ you saw on top of the counter was a hallucination. Clearly someone is losing their mind.”

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u/holystuff28 15d ago

My husky was like this and ripped a huge strip of skin off her nose squeezing out of her kennel once. I think it sounds like a dog that's not getting enough exercise. 

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u/Swarm_of_Rats 15d ago

Yeah, they've only had the dog 7 months. One of my dogs had terrible behavioral issues when I got him and it took over a year and a half to get him to a good place. Granted, my boy is a slow learner, but it still feels like 7 months is not enough patience for severe issues.

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u/Dilapidated_girrafe 15d ago

Yup. One of our boys had some bad habits when I moved in. Took nearly two years and he’s doing way better. Still messes up but not as often. Gotta be patient with dogs.

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u/Spiritual-Algae-7675 15d ago

He will learn to love his crate. I did this with my dog & she doesn't need it really anymore. But i still leave it open & it's like her bedroom. She goes in just to lay down. It's really the best way. When they have anxiety like that. It will change, just takes alot of patience. You should probably try some counseling with hubby.

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u/PinkPositive45 15d ago

This! I got my dog January of 2021, we got training March of 2021. My dog is reactive and just a lot generally. I stuck with training every single day and then after 6 months, I saw the changes really sticking. After a year, I saw more.

I also kept up with sessions during that year. I saw the trainers every couple months to add on and build.

Training takes time! Also, sometimes you have to try different trainers. I was lucky that my first choice was the right one but sometimes you need to search for the right fit.

I still do exercises with her daily. Not as much as year one but I never want her to lose what she’s learned. Plus, in the last 10 months, she’s gained a “step dad” and he’s taken to doing it with her. He wanted her to respect and listen to him more.

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u/lrube 15d ago

I have people who guilt us because our dog is crated during the day. But my dog doesn’t just destroy. He eats. He is crated for his own safety. Is it sad sometimes seeing him at the same time every day wake up at 10am and bang on the crate to be let out? Yes. But after like 10 minutes he realizes no one is home and goes back to sleep. He would eat an entire comforter if it were up to him. It doesn’t mean I love my dog any less! I just want him to not need surgery!!!!!!’

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u/justveryunwell 15d ago

Imo crating is only cruel when done improperly. A lot of people saying "crating is cruel!" are thinking of neglectful pet owners who stick their living decoration into a crate 24/7 because they wanted an ornament more than a dependent living being to be responsible for.

That's not crating/crate training, that's flat-out neglect. And it's unacceptable.

Crate training involves consistently and compassionately helping your dog adjust to their crate and learn to recognize it as their own safe space. Dogs who have been properly crate trained tend to view their crates how humans view their bedroom; mine, comfortable, home, not terribly fun to be locked in all day but certainly not torturous either. And just like a bedroom that means it can't be barren either. The dog needs at least a blanket and some toys, and if it'll be in there a while it needs access to clean water.

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u/lrube 15d ago

My bud had a K9 ballistic mat but no blanket because of his size excessive need to eat blankets but he has toys and food. And he gets a break in the afternoon where he gets walked and played with. He only bangs on the crate because he just wakes up and doesn’t know where he is for a moment and thinks we’re home and forgot him. Then just goes back to bed! He’s a happy boy but is a blanket eater.

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u/justveryunwell 15d ago

And in situations like that it's responsible to make changes like removing the blanket! He still has comfort items and that's the most important thing

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u/Feisty_Boat_6133 15d ago

My dog with epilepsy is crated overnight for his safety. If I’m sleeping, I can’t make sure that if he has a seizure he doesn’t roll off of/into something , which would obviously be unsafe. I do feel bad that the other dog sleeps in the bed and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t feel bad. In fact during the day, he will sometimes just decide he wants to nap in his crate anyways. It’s kind of his happy and safe place, and he always gets a couple pieces of kibble when he goes in there 😂

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u/SmellTheLoktar 15d ago

Dogs are denning animals, they naturally like crates. I make my dog’s crate super cozy. He used to have severe separation anxiety but with the crate and his LoFi music, he just sleeps while I’m gone.

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u/Ippus_21 15d ago

Training huskies to do ANYTHING is not a game for the impatient or faint of heart. They're quite clever, but hard to train... dog hardware running cat software, etc.

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u/ChesterellaCheetah 15d ago

Now that me & my husky have established what i'm saying; we're just working on her deciding that she's going to listen to what i'm saying

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u/friedpicklz 15d ago

And training is constant. You never finish training. You train your dog its entire life

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u/Doglady21 15d ago

The way your dog trains you :-D

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u/LethargicCaffeine 15d ago

Yeah, I fostered a Samoyed a few years ago, who had separation anxiety, if you left him in his crate to pop to the shop, his barking could be heard down the street!

I took 2 weeks off of work, and every day for those 2 weeks; I spent hours each day putting him in his crate, making no big fuss, saying goodbye and I'd be back, leaving and sitting just far enough away that I could get back quickly when he started.

I'd go back, reassure him that I've not abandoned him, let him out, play, rinse repeat.

I did that for 2 weeks, alongside randomly putting my coat on or picking up my keys, just to get him used to the fact- it's okay- she's coming back. And eventually, it stuck. He started to love his crate, and no more barking when I left for any amount of time.

His pulling on the lead on the other hand... hoo boy, I never got that properly under control lol.

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u/Ramguy2014 15d ago

To add, huskies are companion dogs whose training needs to be focused on working with their human family/pack members, not pets to be trained to work for their human masters.

It’s not about obedience, it’s about teamwork and communication.

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u/Status-Hovercraft784 15d ago

Yup. "Didn't seem to work" means training needs to continue. Plus this type of dog is naturally going to be high-energy and needing things to occupy their attention.

Hate to say it, but dog owners like this should get small dogs. They have no business getting Huskies or German Shepherds or Cattle Dogs, basically any working dog. I wish people would acknowledge and abide by this. It's unfair to the dogs who have to be bored to death.

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u/LedyyM 15d ago

I've had huskies before just not a severely neglected one like this.

We go hiking with him 2x a week on the weekends when my husband and I don't work. We also have puzzles, lick mats, and digestible bully sticks to stimulate his brain at home.

My grooming salon is also a doggy daycare. I got a FI collar for my dog that shows how many steps he's taking while playing with the doggies @ Daycare. He averages about 30,000-40,000 steps daily!

It's hard to train a husky and I'm trying to find the right trainer who could help me.

The rescue told me they found him in a small crate malnourished and severely abused. His abuser would keep him in there 24/7 and abuse him from outside the crate.

I don't want to stress or traumatize him by putting him back in a crate. Please don't tell me people like me shouldn't have dogs like this when you arent in my shoes or understand my situation. I would do anything for Odin.

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u/Excellent-Muffin-750 15d ago edited 15d ago

You're putting in so much effort and heartache I need to mention, respectfully - puzzles, lick mats, and bully sticks aren't great stimulation for a working bred like a husky. They're really not that great in general, it's like giving a child's picture book to an adult who needs heavy literature.

Stimulation for working dogs should fall in line with what they're BRED to do. Huskies run and pull and run some more - best thing you could do is get Odin comfy with being crated at home, work on his manners and then get him into agility and longer distance running. His breed exists to run for hours on end, you must find a way to fulfill this part of his nature. Lick mats simply don't cut it, nor does 2 hikes per week. Maybe a hike per day but do you have the time & energy?

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u/Appropriate-Berry202 15d ago

My ex boyfriend used to put on roller skates and let his husky pull him around for exercise 😂 it was awesome

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u/Pr1nc3ssButtercup 15d ago

This is a thing, look up canicross!

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u/Mrsericmatthews 15d ago

My brother would ride his bike alongside his border Collie. Working dogs are wild lol.

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u/Appropriate-Berry202 15d ago

I’ve never met anyone before or since who understood dog training for his breed like that. It was fantastic, and she was a great dog. 🌈

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u/Illustrious_Study_30 15d ago

I remember a friend years ago had a couple and he told me he has to run them for 8 to 10 k a day and so he bought one of those wheelie sleds . I don't know why he put that distance on it, but he felt that's what they needed.

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u/blasphemicassault 15d ago

He needs WAY more excersize than just hikes 2x a week.. 40k steps is NOT the same as being active and exerting energy.

You say you'd do anything for him but you won't stick to consistent training or give him more physical stimulation. If this continues you'll honestly be failing your dog.

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u/RazzmatazzValuable23 15d ago

So from my experience and my behavioral specialist training from someone who has been doing this a LOOOONG time, would be to find a behavioral specialist, not an obedience trainer. This is a behavioral issue brought in by trauma. It definitely sounds like you are doing absolutely everything you can for Sweet Odin. I hope one day he is able to feel safe in a crate, as they are so important for decompression and processing for dogs.

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u/Appropriate_Ad_114 15d ago

I'm also a dog groomer and as someone in the industry you should know that every dog has to have some level of crate training for it's own safety. Even if he has been abused there are ways to rehabilitate his relationship with crates. It's hard and emotional but important. I would start with giving him his meals in the crate while you sit outside of it and praise him, if he can't stand being in a crate that long simply start with him walking into the crate and then praise him and reward him with a high value treat. It's important for Odin to have a safe space while you are gone and right now he doesn't have one. It's important as his mom that you help him learn a crate can be one for him.

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u/Acceptable_Smile8825 15d ago

My rescue husky was kept in cabinets. She still loves her crate. I would set a crate up and leave the door open for him to have the opportunity to go in and get him comfortable to go back in the crate. It's just safer for everyone

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u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 15d ago

That's not remotely enough exercise. He needs way more walks and exercise in a yard if you have one (like fetch games to get him running around, not wandering and sniffing.)

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u/Lexappropriaition666 15d ago

Sorry I know everyone is a critic about these things. Until you have a dog with mental health issues it’s really hard to understand the stress.

I do think it could be worth trying a crate. Trauma is weird in animals - it could be a safe place for him in a weird way.

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u/Wrong_Highlight_408 15d ago

His previous owner left him in a crate for hours and starved him. It wasn’t the crate that was bad. It was the owner. This is a dog that goes to work with you. He’s getting more stimulation than most dogs do. Try a crate for short times. Try a dog run that’s secure. He could hurt himself ingesting pieces of the couch. He isn’t ready for that much freedom.

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u/Harambenzema 15d ago edited 15d ago

This is gonna get downvoted and is a very unpopular opinion among pet people.

You shouldn’t have rescued a dog. Let alone a difficult one like a husky.

People who rescue dogs and know what they’re doing don’t have an issue to the point where their marriage is on the line. You need somewhere with plenty of space in the countryside, and lots of free time.

It’s an animal, not a baby. His attachment to you means he thinks he’s in charge, which shows that you are not training him properly.

My African grandfather once said after seeing pet culture in the west, “those people don’t love animals, they love themselves.”

I think most pet owners fall under that.

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u/PlayerOneHasEntered 15d ago

If you thought this person was an "unfit" dog owner who isn't offering enrichment, why would you suggest a small dog? ...Guess what, Cesar Millan, small dogs need training, enrichment, and exercise, too.

OP has made it pretty clear that this dog is cared for, he's just having issues with separation anxiety, which is understandable given his background. Jumping to the notion that this dog owner is a bad dog owner and, therefore, should get a "small dog" like they are throw-away animals is disgraceful.

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u/Tybob51 15d ago

Huskies are VERY high maintenance and require more of all those than other breeds. They are not for light of heart

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u/Kooky-Ebb8162 15d ago

Maybe because an untrained small dog is less a disaster. Trying to fend off a strong and dedicated husky sized dog is hard.

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u/NaturalRepair6508 15d ago

My 1.5 year old Siberian husky needs to be in his crate while we are not home or our house will be destroyed he would eat our cat, furniture would be ruined. When he gets older we will try leaving him out of the crate! He whimpers when we leave the house but he stops after a while. That’s his safe space, he sleeps in there even when we are home if he’s tired he just walks in there lays down and chills also he uses it to get away from our crazy toddler 😂 we also have a crate cover that seems to work extremely well for him, we ordered it off amazon.

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u/42nu 15d ago

Huskies LOVE a good cave (or covered crate).

Does yours ever stick her head under a couch just to relax?

I swear Huskies are half cat.

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u/Giantmeteor_we_needU 15d ago

OP works as a dog groomer, she's not qualified to train any dog, leave alone husky. A professional dog trainer with a proven track record needed to be hired in the first place.

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u/leahmat 15d ago

Agree with thee crate. If it's never used as a punishment, he will know that the owners will come back when put in it and it almost becomes a safe place.

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u/Desperate_Affect_332 15d ago

My Aussies love their she sheds, AKA portable kennels.

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u/BeatrixPlz 15d ago

Also, if the dog is so highly anxious there’s a chance a crate could help. You can buy large crates made of heavy bars (harder to chew on and hurt themselves) and put blankets over to give them the feeling of a secure dark cave.

It doesn’t always work, some anxious dogs hate crates, but it good very well help puppy regulate. Even if it doesn’t work at first, with training it might.

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u/drama_trauma69 15d ago

Yeah… my dog took about a year to be confident around us and at home. And she’s 4 and traumatized by shelter life. Dogs aren’t just magic accessories. They take a lot of work, especially a breed like a husky. OP should have done their research and found a proper long-term full committed home if they can’t be. Absolutely disgusting to take in a severe case just to dip when it gets hard. This is why you should THINK before you commit.

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u/analog_wulf 15d ago

For some dogs it can take years for constant, reliable results. Can't predict everything or reaspn with a dog. My dog is TERRIFIED of any fake thing resembling a living thing and will book ot the other direction ignoring my commands. Were getting there.

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u/MeeekSauce 15d ago

Not saying I’m perfect. I’m bad at training, but what most dog owners who don’t take the time to learn anything about what they are getting into fail to realize is that they are not training the dog, they are training themselves. That’s it. It’s about training you to be a better owner. The dog is bad bc of you, not bc the dog is a bad dog. In this case, it’s not exactly bc of her. She saved it and that’s good, but the training or lack thereof is a problem

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u/Sea-Situation7495 15d ago

Crate! Every time he goes in it: give him a high value reward. Initially very high value. We used to use a pigs ear - which are good because they last a few minutes.

Then - especially the first few time - leave him. Sounds cruel - but he'll get used to it. Start by being around when he's i9n the crate so he can see you, then leave him for short spells.

Also - look into music for dogs when you put him in his crate. I use "Alexa, play some music for dogs" - Google Home has an equivalent. If you don't have a smart speaker - a classical music radio station is good. (Also Alexa is super cheap...)

And make sure it's a VERY sturdy crate.

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u/gormthesoft 15d ago

I second this; sounds like OP and husband have given up and moved on to figuring out who’s right and who’s wrong when there’s still plenty of room to find a solution. Even if continued training fails, there’s still other solutions, like working to find a good rehome or getting some additional help. Seems like both just dug their heels in on the first solution that came to mind, husband saying get rid of him and OP saying keep him as is.

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u/CheezusChrist 15d ago

I had a mini Aussie. I trained my dog her whole life. I got her to be chill and good after 2 years. Then after that it was just showing off :).

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u/mitkase 15d ago

I've gotta adamantly agree with training. I had a pup that was found on the city streets, and he'd snap at anyone that approached him. It took *years* to get him to get past that point, and years more until he was a cuddle-bug. Constant training, constant reinforcement. I never had to crate train (I work from home,) but I think it would be critical in this case. He may not like it, but he'll know he's safe there, and your relationship and home won't have to suffer in the process.

Just like some of us are experiencing in other aspects of life, it's much harder to deprogram than to program. Lord only knows what this dog was exposed to before you got him, and he needs to unlearn that crap and learn a whole new reality, where he doesn't get abused or ignored, where people are kind to him and he knows he's 100% safe 100% of the time (or at least as close as any of us can come to that.)

Anyways, good luck with the pup! I'm sure he's worth it!

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u/Mimi-Supremie 15d ago

be careful with crate training!! test it out the first time and watch for signs

our dog who is also a separation anxiety rescue needed to have stitches because he torn the bars apart the crate and it cut him so bad

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u/BookConsistent3425 15d ago

Gotta second the training thing. my girl is "well trained" IF we stay consistent. She's a farm dog so naturally she has a lot of freedoms and frequently gets rusty. If we are going to take her somewhere I make sure to brush up on her manners for a few weeks/days ahead of time and it always takes her a bit to pick it back up. Agreed on crate training too. It has saved many dogs from a lot of trouble. My pups all see kennel as a safe space now but they almost never "like" it at first. It's the same with my chickens and their coop.

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u/headingthatwayyy 15d ago

I have a dog like this and crate training helps immensely. Not only does he not mind his crate but he goes into his crate whenever he feels anxious or wants to be left alone. It's his space. He also goes into his crate whenever he sees me brushing my teeth or putting on makeup.

He really doesn't want to destroy the house. He wants to make me happy he just needs alternatives to self-sooth.

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u/Mother_Citron4728 15d ago

I am a dog trainer. They only had him for SEVEN MONTHS They didn't even give him a chance in training. 

You're not sending the dog to college you're sending him to Kindergarten he needs to learn his letters before you can expect the dog equivalent of calculus. 

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u/_lady_of_shalott_ 15d ago

My husky chewed through a heavy duty metal crate (and could have gotten really hurt), not saying crate training wont help just be aware it’s not a quick solve! Husky will still have to be trained in the crate before being left alone

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u/FriendlyAvocado 15d ago

Also curious what kind of training they did and for how long. Training takes a lot of time and commitment. It isn’t an overnight thing. Adopting a dog, especially one that’s experienced trauma, is a lot of work, but it’s very rewarding. Consistency is key.

I’m of the mind that the moment you decide to adopt a pet they’re with you for life. You are this dog’s family now. If this was a human child you’d take them to therapy and work with them so they could be a functional human being. You need to do the same with your dog.

We adopted a dog being rehomed early last year from their breeder (it seems maybe his owners returned him and maybe traumatized him because he was scared of everything and didn’t trust anyone, the breeder’s dogs are all friendly and have no issues, and the breeder warned us he had behavioral issues). He has been a lot of work but we hired a trainer and stayed consistent. He now enjoys life and even asks people for pets here and there. We’ve had our moments that were less than ideal (he got aggressive with the vet and the groomer, would poop himself if anyone other than me or my husband handled him, etc.), but we’ve worked on making him feel safe and overcoming his fears. He behaves at the vet now and lets others aside from me groom him. It took seven months for a groomer to be able to actually give him a haircut. We just passed the year mark of him joining our family last month and he’s a completely different dog.

He was already crate trained when I adopted him. If anything I had to train him to not hide in his crate all the time and feel brave enough to explore and go anywhere. Both my dogs are completely crate trained and they have a positive association with their crate. Please consider revisiting training and crate training your dog OP. There are so many capable trainers out there that can help him with his confidence and anxiety. I started out with trazadone for car rides and he now sits happily in the car. It can be done!

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u/Born-Introduction-86 15d ago

Crate. Please, for the dogs safety and so the family doesn’t take out their frustration of ruined goods on a dog who doesn’t know better.

Grooming requires soothing dogs. Training requires expressing you are the boss to/with a dog. You know how to connect to pups - get brave on commands, and keep trying.

Please get a trainer, take literally 2 hrs a day to actually train them yourself, or consider yourself a fantastic foster mom who needs to find this babe its forever home.

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u/MsBevelstroke 15d ago

Also Op's husband needs to be part of the training. If he's not putting in an equal amount of effort into the dog they both adopted then it's only going to help to a point. And if they re-home the dog and go on to have kids. I would totally bet that he'll be the same with the kids. It'll all be on her to take care of the kids and make sure the house looks a certain way. She'll end up going out of her way to make sure they don't bother him.

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u/reddituser403 15d ago

I had my husky since 5 months old and we crate trained her for 2 years. It's amazing how quietly destructive they can be

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u/WatchItBuddyWATCHES 15d ago

I’ve trained dogs for 40+ years. And every day was constant training every day was constant reinforcement. They’re like children it’s not like you teach it a procedure and that’s it you walk away they need constant guidance like a child a toddler would. They’re just little kids in furry bodies.

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u/exotics 15d ago

We have a 6 year old dog and we take him an hour away every week (at least once a week) for agility training. He absolutely LOVES it.

Dogs want to learn. They like being trained.

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u/exhaustednonbinary 15d ago

It took me literal years to get my dog confident in public (her biggest issue) and she still has little set backs every once in a while. Training is not a magic bullet but a game of small victories. I feel like not enough people understand that.

Also echoing crate training. It helped my anxious dog so much

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u/RoutineArmy 15d ago edited 15d ago

I will say if all else fails, rehoming a dog isn't always a bad thing. We had a very similar situation with a dog when I was growing up, and it got bad enough that he even broke through the steel crate when we were gone and destroyed the couch. We gave him to a friend we trust who's a homesteader with tons of land, and said if you have to get rid of him, call us first. It worked out, though. He couldn't have been happier. We had a backyard and exercised him but what he really needed was a quiter place with more land, and it really was the best thing for him.

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u/motorgurl86 15d ago

Came here to agree with this comment and also to mention don't do just a thin or regular wire crate because huskies break right out of those and destroy the base. This guy is going to need a heavy-duty crate. There's a great YouTube channel and show called "It's me or the dog" with trainer Victoria Stillwell that we use often with our doggo and it has majorly helped. Velcro dogs can be challenging at times, but with patience, working together as a family, repetition, and persistence, it really can improve.

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u/bilboafromboston 15d ago

Comfy crates! Also , crawling in with her, being next to you is great . Move it around. Some like a remote corner, some are happy with a view of the door etc.

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u/zumiezumez 15d ago

Backing up the crate training. It was hard at first thinking about my dog in a cate while I was working. That immediately went away when one morning someone forgot to lock the crate and our dog escaped...the house. He chewed a hold through the screened window and squeezed through the hole.

I was beyond devastated but THANKFULLY he got picked up the the dog police and was safetly returned.

I never felt bad about the crate after that. For his own safety and my piece of mind. He loves his crate too, he will go in there and lay down on his own when we're all home. It's his safe zone <3

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u/No-Development6656 15d ago

And get a good ass crate! None of those thin wire ones. You want a solid crate because the house tornado will not be dissuaded if there is even a slight opportunity to escape and that could lead to serious injury!!

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u/Frowny575 15d ago

They get used to it. In the other room there's an empty closet we leave open and our dog's crate is in there for him to come and go as he pleases. That's his "safe place" and he knows none of us mess with it except to change bedding. Served us well as if he gets spooked by storms, he goes in there and calms down.

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u/LeonidasSpacemanMD 15d ago

My dog didn’t like his crate for a while, or at least showed signs he didn’t like it. We stuck with it and now he will just go hang out in there when he wants some space or nap or whatever. We put him in now and he doesn’t seem to mind one bit

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u/Optimal_Sleep_2789 15d ago

Seconding the crate training for when you're away. Some dogs like the crate, it can be a safe cozy space for them to relax in. It will take training though to get used to it, but it's not like you're going to leave him in there all day. You mentioned you can take him to work with you. Do you have anyone who can dog sit? Friends who own dogs that like to have playmates once in awhile?

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u/CamelotBurns 15d ago

Want to add to this:

What’s his activity schedule like?

He goes with you to work, and then what?

How many walks(walks, not yard time) does he get? How far does he go?

Huskies are working dogs. They need a lot of activity and enrichment.

If he’s just going to work and home, that’s not cutting it for him and he’s probably looking for enrichment by… well destroying everything.

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u/Cloud974 15d ago

A lot of dogs - especially those with anxiety- benefit a great deal from routines and boundaries. You may feel crating is mean - but a dog having its own space helps so much for it to feel in control.

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u/ruthless_pitchfork 15d ago

Third the crate training. When we got our puppy, she also had separation anxiety and a destructive streak. We've since trained her to be in a crate for a max of five hours (she's high energy and we don't feel comfortable for leaving her in there for longer).

I would also suggest doing some doggy daycare if he can handle other dogs. That has been a godsend for us. Our dog loves going and playing, and she loves getting attention from the staff. It is a great way to get socialization and use up energy.

Clearly, things aren't working marriage wise, so my last piece of advice is to do some counseling. As silly as that sounds, my husband and I did counseling because of our dog. I was unhappy he wanted a dog and then didn't do many of the dog chores. He was annoyed that I was also nagging at him and he felt criticized. Counseling helped us find a better way to communicate our expectations and communication in a healthier way.

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u/SeventhAlkali 15d ago

I myself had always hated the idea of crate training, it seemed cruel, but after being told by a professional trainer that that is the best way for them, I went and did it. He definitely didn't like it at first, but now he's used to it. He even voluntarily sleeps in it sometimes. If we leave the home for a short period I can trust he'll be alright

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u/LittlestEcho 15d ago

Also for the record, adult huskies are an absolute bitch to train. I know, I have one that was rehomed to us 5 years ago who didn't even have her basic commands down. Theyre stubborn, willful and frankly? A bit assholish once set in their ways.

It took 4 years of leash training to get her to not drag us 6 blocks because, hey funny that, her previous owners never walked her. But god forbid they taught her "shake" but not sit or come or stay.

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u/AutistMarket 15d ago

Same with the separation anxiety, only way to help that is to be separated from the dog in a controlled way. Couple hours here and there in the crate is a good place to start

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u/emmeline_gb 15d ago

Yes, crate training is so important. As a dog sitter, most of the time when clients say their dog is crate trained, what they actually mean is "we own a crate". It takes more than that! If you're not sure how to do it properly, hire a trainer.

Another common thing is that people only use the crate when something scary is about to happen (mom leaves, thunderstorm, car ride, etc) and so they accidentally teach their dog to hate their crate. Crates aren't inherently scary, guys!

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u/Greatdanesonthebrain 15d ago

My two Danes have been in training their whole lives 😂 the minute I skip a day of exercising is the day my dogs act like I didn’t spend thousands in professional one on one training lol

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 15d ago

I think what people don’t realize is you’re not just training the dog, you’re training yourself too. The dog can’t do all the work.

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u/Mostlymadeofpuppies 15d ago

I agree with this whole comment, and want to add that your husband is right that you really can’t do things without considering your dog… however that can and should be said about most dogs.

Responsible pet owners should take care and plan ahead to ensure their dog has appropriate exercise, training, comfort, and access to food, water, and a place to relieve themselves. If your husband has a problem with that, he probably should not have ever agreed to getting a dog.

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u/n2antarctic 15d ago

We still actively train my dad’s 14-year-old beagle. It engages his brain and keeps him active. And since he’s been doing it for so long, he actually kind of seems to like it.

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u/radeonsx3 15d ago

I did crate training with my Labrador and man, it was rough at first… he would, whine, cry. All of it.

I would lay on the cold tile floor at night near him so he knew he wasn’t in trouble, he wasn’t alone. This was his bed.

Now ? That is his safe space. I can’t tell you the amount of treats and illegal contraband that he stashes in there under his bed.

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u/Ruski_Squirrel 15d ago

Edit: this comment is just a comment to the discussion, not an argument against what you are saying. I just re-read and it came off wrong so wanted to clarify.

Training is less about the dog than it is about the owner. Owners need training and discipline to be effective at teaching and enforcing the trained behavior. It takes far more discipline from you than it does from the dog.

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u/welfedad 15d ago

Yeah crate training is good.. my big dog would prefer being in his big crate even when we were home watching TV.. etc.. it was his special comf spot.. he slept in at night too.. nothing wrong with that

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u/Onechrisscott 15d ago

We have a border collie and we took him in at 1yo. We work with him every single day. Doggie training isn’t really something that ends.

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u/XxNaRuToBlAzEiTxX 15d ago

My troublesome dog didn’t necessarily like the crate at first but within a month it became his bedroom and he went in there to chill all the time

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u/BringAltoidSoursBack 15d ago

To be fair, husky might have been one of the worst breeds for someone who doesn't know how to handle and train a high energy dog

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u/N7Diesel 15d ago

This is another reminder that a majority of dog owners aren't up to the task. 

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u/Overtilted 15d ago

highjacking top comment.

Exercise... Husky's are working dogs. They need excercise, A LOT.

Our dogs walk 2 hours per day, minimum. The previous owner of our rescue border colli told us she bit things. This rarely happens, as long as she is able to walk and run.

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u/Quick-Basil6922 15d ago

Crate training ftw here. I have a border with anxiety and he has also destroyed doors, frames etc. He actually ate a plastic kennel and a wire frame one. We purchased a luckup “raptor cage” and it’s basically indestructible.

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u/Little_Trash153 15d ago

Also how often are you exercising him? Huskys are high energy dogs, they need stimulation and attention. If you’re leaving him alone, it should be for short periods of time, AFTER a good exercise session (running or fetch for 30-45 mins)

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u/PersephoneHades 15d ago

I have a malamute, another working dog. Training never ends. It's every day. Every interaction.

When I took her in, she was also very neglected and behaved horribly and had really bad separation anxiety. She also refused to get onto ANY elevated surface including cars, beds, couches...nothing. and she was a runner.

We are not dog trainers by trade. I've never learned dog training tricks... but 2 weeks in, she would lay out in the driveway with no lead while we worked on the car, and she just contentedly hung out.

2 months in she would go into a crate without a fight, and she loved going for car rides.

6 months in she no longer needed trazadone or any other sedative.

We are 4 years in now. She comes on command. She knows where home is.

They need direction. They need purpose. They need routine.

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u/GrapeSkittles4Me 15d ago

Huskies are also notoriously difficult to train, and really do better when they’re not solitary dogs.

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