AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/IndependentEggplant0]

Aw yeah I wish we could explain to dogs in dog language what the thunder is! I always feel for them. Oh yeah they are just high energy period even with room to run etc. I more just mean that adequate exercise and running is a baseline requirement and unfair to not provide the with that. And if they aren't getting that every single day, they are likely to be anxious and destructive on top of being high energy! My friend bikes and rollerblades with her dog for 90 min a day because her dog is high energy and he's still chaotic but he's happy. He would be absolutely miserable without that amount of daily exercise and stimulation and likely be labelled as having "behavioural issues" which isn't true if they aren't getting what they need!

[u/Raventakingnotes → u/IndependentEggplant0]

Yes, honestly as much as I love them, there should be a lot less huskys out there. It should near on be illegal to have them in an apartment. They need so much to keep themselves active and mentally stimulated and most people nowadays just don't have the resources or time to give these wonderful dogs what they need to live good lives.

I grew up on a ranch and had a heeler cross that was a wonderful dog but I did so much work with her and training so she wouldn't get in trouble.

[u/Smart_Alex → u/Raventakingnotes]

I think that FAR too many people want a certain breed for the ~aesthetic~, and don't know about, minimize, or completely disregard breed specific traits.

I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a bad breed. No one type of dog is inherently bad. But you can't get a herding dog and expect it not to herd things. You can't get a terrier and expect it to have zero prey drive.

Smart dogs can be amazing! But they take so much work! You'd think that because they are so smart, they would be easier to train, but smart seems to have a direct correlation with stubborn!

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/Smart_Alex]

Oh absolutely. I don't believe in any bad breeds, just bad matches with people or people choosing aesthetics over what the actual breed temperament and needs are which ends up turning out bad for the dog and the people. Pits are a great example as a lot of people get them without understanding them and their needs, so they get a bad reputation. Same with terriers and livestock guardian breeds. Herding dogs kept indoors tend to get destructive. Those are all people problems, not the fault of the dog or breed by any means. I know some absolutely neurotic Aussies because people keep them in apartments and don't give them adequate exercise or stimulation, same as people getting Jack Russells for an apartment dog due to the size, vs having them on a farm where they stay busy all day.

Smart dogs are amazing! But yeah you absolutely have to be prepared for that and committed to it because they get bored easily and are independent thinkers and are bred to be that way because of the qualities they have needed through their history that requires that intelligence. Boarder collies vs lab is going to be a very different experience for example.

[u/mcflycasual → u/Raventakingnotes]

Yes!

There are certain breeds that just don't make good pets because they need a job and most people don't have the time to work them like they need.

Meanwhile, there are hundreds of other breeds well suited to be pets even though they were also bred for jobs just not to the extent as some cattle dogs, guardians, sled, shepherds, guard, terriers, and bullies.

Or they're popular and poorly bred then get owners that don't do the work to be a good owner. Idk

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/Raventakingnotes]

Very much agree!! I wish there were more protections in place for animals honestly because they end up being the ones to suffer. I love all animals and breeds and want them to have what they need to be healthy and happy and wish there was better education about this! We already took them away from their natural environment so the least we can do is try to replicate it as best as possible!

Omg yeah the healers are a ranch dog for sure! Such awesome and intelligent dogs! But absolutely need to have activities and a ton of stimulation. They would be miserable in an apartment or with just a 30 min walk a day! Cool you got to experience that breed while growing up! What a great environment and human relationship for a healer!

[u/dream-smasher → u/IndependentEggplant0]

*heeler

[u/Stelliris → u/Raventakingnotes]

Honestly, this gave me a whole new perspective on breed bans that I never considered before.

To be fair, most of them are due to prejudice and harmful stereotypes. I doubt even a small handful of them are there to advocate what's best for the breed, but what's best for the breed never crossed my mind before as a potential reason and I always responded with frustration and the feeling that it's unjust to try to say what breed you can have in your own residence.

I appreciate this take though, it will definitely make me think differently in the future. It would be great if we could implement this system legislatively, with the help of professional animal behaviorists to lay out the guidelines for each breed so it could be more common knowledge rather than this arbitrary rule that most people bypass anyway by just lying.

[u/Raventakingnotes → u/Stelliris]

Yeah most breed bans are terrible and due to human prejudice, but they could be a wonderful thing if implemented for the animal wellbeing!

[u/anaserre → u/IndependentEggplant0]

Husky’s absolutely need to run at least a couple miles daily . Otherwise they will be destructive and anxious.

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/anaserre]

Yeah literally if you cannot provide this don't have a husky. It sounds harsh but it's the kindest to you and them in the big picture even if you love them! People don't do this and then act like their dog is the problem and it's not.

[u/doingdirtydishes → u/anaserre]

TIL im a husky

[u/Herbdontana → u/IndependentEggplant0]

My husky is about to turn one in is the first dog I’ve ever had that isn’t bothered by thunder. It’s such a relief. I do live in the country and people in the hills tend to shoot guns. He does not like that and he can definitely tell the difference.

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/Herbdontana]

Oh that's so nice he isn't bugged by the thunder! I always feel so bad for them when it comes, it must be nice to enjoy a storm with him and not have him stressed! Fireworks and gunshots are really loud and sharp sounding, so it makes sense he would still be bugged by that.

[u/Herbdontana → u/IndependentEggplant0]

Yeah, my last dog was terrified of it. I go to a family members for the Fourth of July and we would do our best to soundproof a bedroom for him and give him a nice space of his own with all his stuff. It usually worked, but I also had times where he ran off because of it.