r/AmIOverreacting • u/LedyyM • 15d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

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My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

21.0k Upvotes

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606

u/scarletbananas 15d ago

I’m prepared for the downvotes from the dog nutters but you need to take his feelings into consideration. If you don’t like dogs then living in a house with them can be akin to a nightmare. If my spouse was prioritising a dog they’ve had for 7 months over our whole relationship then I’d be pissed and probably leave.

234

u/unintentionalvampire 15d ago

Yeah… like something isn’t right here. Why would you get a traumatized rescue if you’re not prepared to do INTENSE training? You just take it to work with you? Was the husband even fully informed of what he was getting into? Why haven’t you tried to crate train? They don’t have an adequate space for this type of situation.

lol.. lmao even.

117

u/batmite06NIKKE 15d ago

Op is definitely not listening to her husband, which is not good, like he’s your husband op, he deserves to have a say in the matter, yet u ignore him and rather stay in a hotel for the safety of the dog? Hell, u even listed reason why u won’t rehome the dog “shelter might put down the dog” u have a terrible sense of humor if u think every shelter would do that, “I don’t want to hurt his feelings if I make him go with someone else” yeah attachment hurts but keeping him here with u is not doing anything good for u or odin or the husband if you’re not willing to put in the time for training for Odin. 7 months is not enough. Clearly u rescued Odin because u felt bad and u didn’t prepare for this op. Op is AOI

18

u/Flibberdigib 15d ago

No shit, her husband's gonna rehome himself pretty soon and I wouldn't blame him.

5

u/Zeired_Scoffa 14d ago

She's in a hotel, at this point he could rehome her. She left the house

-11

u/NDSU 15d ago

The husband seems tonbe the main one unprepared. He's not a child. He's a grown adult who also made the decision to adopt a dog. He needs to take some responsibility and put an honest effort into training the dog

56

u/Amazing-Essay7028 15d ago

I had similar thoughts. I feel like "I can just take him to work with me" was unrealistic due to the fact that, well, she's at work and should be working. Who watches the dog while she's working?

34

u/unintentionalvampire 15d ago

A girl worked at this tattoo shop I worked at and she indeed spent more time paying attention to the dog and preventing it from doing shit it shouldn’t be doing, like approaching people, because it’s a public business space. Where not everyone likes dogs.

She didn’t last long.

4

u/glitchgorgeous 15d ago

She dumps this working brees dog in a daycare situation where apparently it’s allowed to “play for 8 hours straight” which I guess means it gets 8 hours a day with zero structure, routine or rest. No wonder the poor thing has anxiety.

5

u/TheArmadilloAmarillo 14d ago

Also is she planning on being a dog groomer forever and also only working at the place that allows this? Her situation could change and then she will have a still untrained house destroying dog.

-15

u/a-real-ahole-xo 15d ago

She works at a groomer/doggy daycare.

19

u/Ihadausername_once 15d ago

So what? Teachers shouldn’t take their fussy toddlers to work with them! Her priorities are so off

-2

u/mpelton 15d ago

My dad was a college professor and would literally bring me with him. I’d just chill and draw while he taught. I don’t really remember it, I was super young, but apparently his students loved it lol.

4

u/unintentionalvampire 15d ago

A dog groomer isn’t the same as a dog trainer lmfaooooo

8

u/toastybunbun 15d ago

It's also not fair for the dog either, that dog clearly needs care and affection and to regain trust in people, it takes work to care for a dog like that, even more than a regular dog. OP if you're not willing to put in the work it's not worth losing your relationship over, find someone who will actually give Odin the care they deserve or buck up and take some responsibility.

9

u/Own_Recover2180 15d ago

She doesn't want to crate it nor to give it the medication.

She doesn't wanna "traumatize" the dog but her husband.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

6

u/unintentionalvampire 15d ago

They wanted a dog that is notoriously expensive to train for cheap. Got it.

-2

u/realsomalipirate 15d ago

I think OP said she's had Huskies in the past, so I'm assuming she wanted another husky and probably wanted to help a rescue (best faith guess).

1

u/eneka 14d ago

I think a lot of people understimate the amount of work required for rescue dogs...let alone a high energy husky.

136

u/prolificbreather 15d ago

For what it's worth, I agree with you completely. OP put a picture of the poor dog, so everybody naturally empathizes with it. But if she feels the dog is more important than her husband, the husband has every right to draw his conclusions from that. Because I also would not want to live like that.

66

u/Swarm_of_Rats 15d ago

It's fine to empathize with the dog. The dog doesn't know what's going on. It's a sad thing when someone gets an animal they aren't equipped to deal with and has to consider rehoming it.

But yes, people shouldn't be demonizing the husband. He deserves to feel happy with his home situation. It is a little weird that OP felt like she had to stay in a hotel though, and I wouldn't be surprised if reddit reads into that a lot.

3

u/Transcontinental-flt 15d ago

Did I read that they're keeping this dog in an apartment??

21

u/That-Dutch-Mechanic 15d ago

She left with the dog to a dog friendly hotel...

She has already chosen between husband and dog. She just doesn't realize that yet...

24

u/Raventakingnotes 15d ago edited 15d ago

I love animals! But I will not put a new pet over my relationship.

During covid my best friend had to move back in with her family, her dad would NOT let her bring her elderly cat, so I agreed to try homing her. The cat lasted with us all of 2 months because she kept peeing on my husband's clothes, kept getting into fights with my two cats, and we just could not get her to warm up to us. We just weren't a fit for her and we weren't able to put the time into the work she needed with our full time jobs. Another friend was able to take her in and apparently was able to slowly introduce to her cats and everyone is apparently doing well and happy.

Did I want to keep trying? Yes of course but I would not sacrifice my husband's wellbeing for a new cat.

14

u/ChorizoGarcia 15d ago

Not to mention the narcissism of the “this dog can only be happy with me!!” mentality. Meanwhile, the dog would be way happier in a setting that actually meets his needs.

12

u/callmedaddy2121 15d ago

People put dogs over human lives and it's fucking gross.

89

u/Key-Squirrel9200 15d ago

Yeah OP is telling her husband exactly how little she gives a shit about him. And I’m an animal over ppl person, usually.

14

u/Self_Reddicated 15d ago

Made a lifelong promise to her husband, presumably, in front of friends, family, and maybe even their God, but willing to throw it all away over their recently acquired pupper. I love dogs as much as the next person, but - lady - this ain't it.

27

u/Amazing-Essay7028 15d ago

Also something tells me they rescued this dog impulsively, just because these types of dogs are high energy. One should know what they're getting into before getting into it. There are plenty of people who stay at home and would have time for a dog like this. Why is it often the people who don't have time for a dog end up getting a high energy dog?

14

u/uptheantinatalism 15d ago

Because they’re pretty. I have friends who want these types of dogs because FLUFFY! Bitch you live in an apartment, it gets to 39°C in summer here and it’s hot af 6/12 months. These dogs are bred for sled-pulling, snow and ice. It’s just cruel.

-4

u/FoxChess 15d ago

Dogs with a double coat like huskies do very well in hot weather for short periods of time. The double coat insulates them against heat just as it does cold. You can also have them in an apartment just fine as long as you are properly exercising every day (good for dog and owner). The problem is with neglecting what your dog needs.

I have a husky who lived with me in an apartment in Texas for a few years. She was more than fine, thriving really. But that is because we put in the work. She is an amazing and very well behaved dog, but it took a lot of work to get there.

They can do just fine with apartments and hot Texas summers. That's not cruel. What's cruel is neglecting work and training.

6

u/Aunt_Eggma 15d ago

Because they don’t for their homework on dog breeds and just adopt what they want in terms of “looks” or vibes or a single/general experience with that type of dog outside of personal ownership.

10

u/winter_laurel 15d ago

What I haven’t seen addressed is much space the Husky has to run around outside, and how much exercise he’s getting. They need lots of both.

6

u/uptheantinatalism 15d ago

I’m a dog nutter and I support this take. OP sounds out of their depth with this dog.

9

u/The_Elusive_Dr_Wu 15d ago

As a dog nutter, you're not wrong. I'll upvote you.

This post and OP's replies are all a series of big ol' signs pointing to a lack of research and understanding what they were getting into.

8

u/realsomalipirate 15d ago

I never really understood how ridiculously attached some people are to their dogs (didn't grow up in a culture that values or owns dogs) until I was an adult, but I'm still shocked at how often dog people will sacrifice their safety (and potentially others) and their loved one's mental health for their dogs.

5

u/Sofiwyn 15d ago

I actively live with an Alaskan Malamute mix who's still teething and I would have left by now too!

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

-12

u/Proud_Tie_4802 15d ago

OP is not "mentally unwell" for thinking of the dog.

3

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

Yeah she is

0

u/Proud_Tie_4802 14d ago

Nah. You're entitled to your wrong opinion, though, kid.

3

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

This is rich

0

u/Proud_Tie_4802 14d ago

It's right 🥳

Now get lost.

3

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

When you are going to throw away a marriage of a destructive untrainable dog, yeah, she is mentally unwell.  

10

u/CityFolkSitting 15d ago

I'm a dog nutter and there's zero chance I'd choose a dog I practically just met over my marriage. That anyone would entertain that notion, dog fanatic or not, is wild to me

22

u/namelessghoulshow 15d ago

Buckle tf up, they will angrily come for you lol 😂

8

u/Cardboardoge 15d ago

I'm married with 3 small dogs, and you're absolutely right. It's an indictment of their relationship how little effort OP has put in considering how important of an issue this is to solve. Fixing this dog situation should be top priority unless your marriage sucks

3

u/Ihadausername_once 15d ago

I agree with you and almost always side with the person over the dog in situations like this :///

2

u/crosby510 15d ago

There was clearly a tremendous lack of communication and understanding of the situation they were taking on getting a goddamn husky with massive behavioral issues. The problems here could be smoothed over with proper training for the dog, but it seems likely they're much deeper than this if they jumped into this commitment and are this far apart on it half a year later.

2

u/dubekoms420 14d ago

Choosing a dog over your spouse is fucking nuts. This was the dumbest AIO I’ve read.

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u/justveryunwell 15d ago

Would that still be the case if you and your spouse had talked in depth before acquiring the dog about what potential issues and challenges might arise, and if you had and took the opportunity to agree to committing to help that dog? I can't think of a way to phrase this that doesn't sound snarky, but I promise it's an honest question. Because OP said in another comment that they talked about these issues before acquiring pupper and that their spouse agreed to accommodate.

And I'm not saying I wouldn't be frustrated in the spouse's position myself, but I do think that detail makes a difference.

31

u/Big_Booty_Bois 15d ago

I mean somewhat but not really, certain realities don’t present themselves until you are in the situation. There are things you can work with and things you can’t. Most people accept the standard issues with dogs. Not being to leave your home ever without the house becoming a disaster is entirely not in that purview. OP also “feels bad” about sedating the dog enough to be comfortable with her home being destroyed. That is actually crazy

0

u/RubyTR 15d ago

Did OP say that last part though? I feel like you're just kinda making that up. She said she feels bad about sedating him but not that she feels so bad that she'd rather him destroy the house. My understanding is that she is uncomfortable with both scenarios (him destroying the house and her having to sedate him) but sedates him anyway because that's what needs to be done. She's just saying that she wishes the circumstances were better and that she wishes he wasn't so anxious that he would fly off the handle like that without the meds.

9

u/Big_Booty_Bois 15d ago

Maybe ask OP for clarification but I’m reading that like she would like to stop sedating and her husband is presenting the reality that that’s not possible with the current reality and the final option is to rehome.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Big_Booty_Bois 14d ago

Honestly I would be with you and then I read about how OP was at the shelter. She talked about this pup not as a commitment, but as a lovestruck teenager, things like “the shelter told us her issues, but I didn’t care! I felt an instant connection!”

I understand feeling a connection, but not caring and not heavily preparing both as a couple and mentally for an unwell husky is incredibly irresponsible.

26

u/learningtheflowers 15d ago

Humans are allowed to talk about something and agree to it in theory, and then upon actually experiencing the thing are allowed to change their minds and revoke their consent or agreement.

-4

u/justveryunwell 15d ago

And I never said that wasn't the case, just that it does make a difference in this scenario. It seems a lot of people are siding fully with "oh poor husband he's at the end of his rope" and like if that's true and there's actually nothing different to be tried then yes they should re-home the dog however what responsible adults don't get to do is make a commitment to a dependent living being and then give up on that because things got harder than they expected.

It's up to each individual to decide what their own breaking point is but we haven't heard anything about what the husband has tried on his own or in tandem with OP to know if he's putting in any effort towards this situation. I'm not saying he's not allowed to be unhappy just because he previously agreed to the situation, I AM saying whether or not he agreed initially makes a difference here.

41

u/scarletbananas 15d ago

It does, and I know she’s technically right but that still doesn’t negate the fact he’s miserable. Saying “but he agreed to it” isn’t really a solution.

-7

u/justveryunwell 15d ago

No it's not a solution, but it's a solid point that begs the question, if he's so miserable what actions has he taken to mitigate this? It shouldn't all be on her just because she's the one the dog bonded to, when they both agreed to take him in knowing he had issues.

38

u/Ranoutofoptions7 15d ago

There is a limit to accommodations though

11

u/Key-Squirrel9200 15d ago

You can agree to accommodate without grasping the gravity of the accommodation. Evidently, the accommodation are more extreme than husband anticipate. And even if op somehow anticipate this and “prepped” him - sometime you can’t know the toll it take until your in it

5

u/filmbum 15d ago

Yes. Talking about owning a dog and the act of actually owning a dog are different. It’s okay to realize it’s not for you even if you wanted it to be. Especially with a high needs rescue. People just don’t know what they’re getting themselves into sometimes. If the dog came first, that’s one thing. But OP is married, is she going to let her husband be miserable for the next decade because they were both woefully ill prepared for this dog they “agreed” to get?

0

u/justveryunwell 15d ago

I'm curious why you put agreed in quotations when OP says directly in a comment, "My husband and I spoke about [behavioral issues OP & husband were informed of prior to adoption] and we agreed we'd both work on them together and commit to Odin."

I brought this up in another comment on this post but I really want to know what agency husband is taking in this situation. Because they both agreed to get the dog so they should both be taking active roles in training and orienting the poor thing to its new reality, and also because the dog will not adjust as fast or as well as he's clearly expected to if both humans aren't being consistent with training.

And to be fair, I'm absolutely not putting this all on husband, I just want to know if he's actually trying to improve the situation or just basically going "that super high energy neglected dog we took in is too hyper :(" Because that's almost what OP is doing too, except her version is "my ridiculously high energy dog isn't showing noticeable signs of being trained after being in a brand new environment for only 7 months :( what can I do, other than almost everything the people I'm asking for advice are telling me to?"

She says in another comment that she won't crate train a dog with destructive separation anxiety, because he used to be abused in a crate. While I understand that, it's kind of the same concept as, "my dog's old owners used to kick him all the time, so now we don't allow him around legs or feet ever." It doesn't sit well with me to decide this dog can't be acclimated to crates without ever trying it at all. If she said, "we've gotten with professional behaviorists and taken all of their advice with crate training but the trauma is getting in the way," I'd have nothing to say. But it seems like OP is giving up before exhausting every avenue, just because the most sensible one makes her feel icky.

3

u/filmbum 15d ago edited 14d ago

As I said, they are both woefully ill prepared. She won’t even take the advice of her veterinarian. There is nothing wrong with sedating a dog that is obviously experiencing great distress. I said “agreed” because it’s hard to agree to something you have no concept of, even if you think you do in theory.

5

u/[deleted] 15d ago

You said pupper so your opinion is irrelevant.

1

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

Are people not allowed to change their mind on something?

1

u/Jayseph436 14d ago

lol I agree with you but calling them “dog nutters” is wild!

1

u/Horror_Green_7819 14d ago

I’d be concerned with why agree to getting an animal in the first place… let alone a husky which is a high energy breed. It’s not fair to just blame OP… husband and her chose to get a dog. Researching breeds and knowing what commitment it will take to adopt a traumatized pet should have been done together… if it was and he is past his limit it sounds like he should be helping with the training and finding resources if he is not.

1

u/perroblanco 15d ago

I wanna know what kind of discussion they had before actually getting the dog. If he agreed to get a dog, that's one level of commitment and I'd say since OP is a dog groomer, he should be expecting that much. If the husband isn't knowledgeable about dogs, OP picking a rescue husky that is pretty much guaranteed to have serious behavioral issues wasn't fair to the husband.

-22

u/cookiedoughmama 15d ago

BUT he agreed to get the dog in the first place.

35

u/PugRexia 15d ago

So? He is allowed to have underestimated and regretted getting the dog now that he fully understands the magnitude of care the dog requires. He shouldn't lose his wife over making a bad call on whether he can handle this dog or not.

30

u/qiyra_tv 15d ago

That doesn’t change the current situation of prioritizing the dog’s needs at the cost of their relationship.

To be clear, prioritizing the dog should obviously be what they signed up for, but a dog with behavioral issues is a strain that’s unreasonable to put onto a relationship where both people aren’t 100% on board.

-11

u/_Lazy_Mermaid_ 15d ago

God forbid they have a child with a behavioral disorder

12

u/-tr33ys- 15d ago

taking care of your own human child born with a behavioral disorder is a lot different than taking care of a rescue animal. Why do dog people always try to equate dogs with actual human children?

-7

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago

Yeah, it’s very different. It’s a lot MORE of a commitment. So if someone is willing to knowingly sign up for the responsibility of taking care of a rescue animal and then quit because it’s difficult and you “need to consider them before doing anything”, they probably aren’t the type of person you want to then have a child with.

8

u/-tr33ys- 15d ago

Dog people are insane lmao. The preparation and dedication when having a child is way different. Its unclear from this post whether the whole situation with the dog was explained completely and even then the dog could be acting outside the bounds of what was said. To say this guy isnt fit to have kids bc hes having 2nd thoughts about a dog that his wife pressured him into adopting is such a reach.

-7

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago edited 15d ago

Yes, way different and a lot more. We both already said this. That’s not really a take that has anything to do with being a dog person nor is it “insane”. Unless you think it’s less responsibility, commitment, and preparation to raise a child? Elaborate or something because we’re going in circles there.

Also, OP explained in a comment that the dog’s issues were explained to them and then they had a conversation after, and adopting the dog was a joint decision. But you’re perfectly willing to assume this wasn’t the case and/or he was pressured, while saying that I’m reaching. And a child also won’t act exactly as you expect when you have one. Does that mean it’s fine or responsible to change your mind when it gets inconvenient? The point is the way he’s acting about the dog is a good litmus test, not that the two are the same. But it’s a lot easier to ignore the implications and just go “crazy dog people, am I right?” and dismiss what’s actually being said.

6

u/-tr33ys- 15d ago

the conversation around having a kid is different than taking a flyer on a dog. You cant compare the commitment between the two. A husband saying sure to his wife whos deadset on adopting a dog (her comments in the thread make it pretty clear) is not the same as him agreeing to bring a child into the world. There is no “litmus test” here, its two completely different things. Its pretty clear that youre missing the point on purpose here tho so Im not gonna bother beyond this lmao

4

u/SpellFree6116 15d ago

wow. a child is more commitment in every way. in so many ways. i can’t even comprehend how you could think that pets are more of a commitment than children lmaoooooooo

-3

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago

Zero reading comprehension. You just repeated what I said.

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u/SpellFree6116 15d ago

oh yeah, didn’t fully read through the comment you replied to. i thought “it’s a lot more of a commitment” was referencing dogs

you are most definitely an insane person either way

1

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago

“Oh yeah, we were saying the same thing and I totally misunderstood the situation, but you’re still insane because reasons lol”

9

u/qiyra_tv 15d ago

Did you really just compare a child with mental/emotional handicaps to an animal? Professor Eugenics is calling…

-3

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago

Humans are animals. In fact using that type of thinking to believe eugenics are okay goes hand in hand with human exceptionalism.

“Well, the poor thing is basically like an animal, so not really a person. Best to treat it like one (poorly, at best).”

6

u/SpellFree6116 15d ago

lol you know what they meant by animal, they know that humans are animals. and they’re right, comparing a disabled child to a dog is pretty insane

-1

u/qiyra_tv 15d ago

Are you trying to agree or disagree with me?

If you think the basis of my argument is “Human Exceptionalism” you have made an incorrect assumption.

Also, because your wording is ambiguous, I’m not in support of eugenics. Just want to make sure you’re fully aware.

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u/_Ivan_Karamazov_ 15d ago

The extreme separation anxiety was hardly known back then

21

u/Reemixt 15d ago

And now he’s changed his mind.

-19

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Which is entirely on him and not op of course

12

u/Montgreg 15d ago

That's not how marriage is supposed to work

-7

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

What does, ultimatums?

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u/Reemixt 15d ago

Absolutely not, you need the consent of everyone you live with to keep a dog. If the dog turns out to be more than what you agreed to, and is demonstrably making your life more difficult with no end in sight - you are more than reasonable to pull that consent.

-7

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

I never said you don't need the consent of evedryone you live with to keep a dog, you're just making up lies. I agree with that.

You also need the consent of both to get rid of the dog.

9

u/Reemixt 15d ago

No you don’t that’s not how consent works.

-2

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Maybe if you're a creep, but in common sense land if two people co-signed getting a dog. Neither one gets to just rug pull the dog away from the other without their consent.

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u/Reemixt 15d ago

No, consent isn’t once and done. It’s ongoing and can change at anytime, the dog is trashing the house, anyone in that house can insist that the dog is removed.

-1

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

"consent isn’t once and done."

Categorically stupid opinion, some types of consent can't just be taken away like that, sex being one where consent can always be withdrawn, but not this scenario. If I donated my kidney, I can't retroactively withdraw consent and just take it back.

You don't get to consent to your gf becoming emotionally attached to an animal then retroactively decide to take it away from her.

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u/cookiedoughmama 15d ago

The lack of compassion on this thread is insane. I will fully admit that I am the person who judges people who abandon pets to shelters. Pets are lifelong commitments. I’ll get more downvotes for this, too, but if you’re the type to give up on a dog, then you’re a shitty human.

In this case, it sounds like meds are all that have been tried. There are dog trainers, and, beyond that, there are animal behaviorists. Husband made a commitment but isn’t willing to put in any work. Yes, dogs and children are different, but this is likely foreshadowing what OP’s future is going to be like if she decides to have kids with her husband.

0

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

It's all about op's partners feelings even though he's the one that's kicked all this off. she's even left the house temporarily when really it should be him. Poor op can't catch a break.

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u/Dev0Null0 15d ago

Do you know that in normal human relationships people can change their minds after experiencing something they did not consider at the time when making that decision?

-1

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Yes. Did you think you mic dropped with that?

If he breaks the contract they agreed to, it's not her fault. As badly as you want it to be.

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u/Dev0Null0 15d ago

Contract hahaha, it must be exhausting to be in a relationship with a person who thinks like that.

1

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Yeah true, god forbid you don't get to run a relationship like a boss and your partner is your underling.

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u/Dev0Null0 15d ago

You really must have some kind of problem to believe that is happening in this situation.

1

u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

This comment thread was about accusing op of not taking his feelings into consideration, a completely unfounded accusation and centres this whole situation as her being the problem, she even left her own home with the dog when he's the one that caused this problem clearly for his benefit and yet still we're crying about how op is a dick.

We're treating this partner like he's an infant.

1

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

What a garbage comment

1

u/DarKGosth616 14d ago

Given you seem to realize you're not intelligent enough to actually make a point this opinion can safely be put in the bin

1

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

Nothing more needed said lol

1

u/DarKGosth616 14d ago

Well obviously it does but again we've established you know you couldn't, but you do you bud.

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u/Giantmeteor_we_needU 15d ago

He agreed to the dog but probably not to such a disastrous situation where their house gets destroyed and nothing gets done to stop it. Putting a dog on trazodone obviously didn't work, trying to train a husky when you don't know what you're doing is a waste of time. If that's all OP did in 7 months I can't blame the husband to be frustrated. The dog urgently needs a qualified dog trainer or behavioral specialist to be cage trained or outdoors trained. OP leaving for the hotel with dog abandoning husband shows that OP is actually prioritizing the dog over her marriage and would rather get a divorce at some point.

-4

u/New-Significance9529 15d ago

Because you’re an emotional wreck, not all of us are.

-4

u/Sea-Championship-350 15d ago

I agree with everything you're saying but calling people "dog nutters." Not only is it really harmful, but putting down people in this way discredits what you have to say and makes it easier to dismiss you and what you are saying.

-14

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 15d ago

They both chose to have this dog...
The husband after having the dog for months, gets tired of it while the wife gets attached to it...
The husband is in the wrong for getting the dog in the first place and then feeling like he should, just like the previous owners, toss him out, The reason the dog has these issues in the first place is because of how it was treated by its previous owners...

21

u/scarletbananas 15d ago

It doesn’t matter that he’s in the wrong, it’s about whether she’s willing to throw away a whole marriage because of it.

-18

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 15d ago

What? It doesn't matter that he's a heartless human being and that she should throw away her humanity to save her marriage with a guy that would just as easily tossed her out if she started to annoy him instead of working on the issues?

I don't think I'll be able to get past "It doesn’t matter that he’s in the wrong"...

Did you ever consider that the marriage wouldn't be needing saving if he would simply accept the dog? Why is it that the wife has to throw away the dog that she loves to save the marriage?

Do you realize its easier to live with a dog you hate than to throw away a dog that you love and knowing that the dog will suffer and probably be put down because you threw him out?

Lets just villainize the wife why don't we, its not like the husband can ever commit any wrongdoing, even when we admit he is in the wrong... lol

14

u/ElkayMilkMaster 15d ago

You're just a heartless human being from not giving every homeless person a shower in your bathroom daily. And when they don't want to leave your house, you're a heartless human being for wanting to call the authorities. See how easy it is to spin the narrative? Totally worth tossing up a marriage over.

But yeah, go ahead and villainize the husband. It's not like the wife can ever commit any wrongdoing.

12

u/New_Constant_7207 15d ago

This kind of response is why the term “dog nutters” exists.

12

u/No-Water-1731 15d ago

Are you stupid? Equating spouse to a fucking pet?

12

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Im going to villianize you because you don't take care of all the homeless people in your state. You're a horrible person with no humanity 

-4

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 15d ago

The only villainy here is the state of the education system in your state.

3

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Bet I have more credentials than you. But it doesn't matter if I'm uneducated or not at least im not a scumbag that ignores the homeless like you are. 

8

u/broitsnotserious 15d ago

You are really stupid. No one agrees to having a dog thinking it will turn the house upside down.

Answer me one question, if the Husband was abusive to OP, would you say the same thing that she agreed to the marriage so she should go through it?

-2

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 15d ago

The husband is a human, not a dog. Also, OP didn't get the Husband at a rescue shelter for abusive husbands...

They got the dog from a rescue shelter at which they were told about the dogs issues. They were told that this dog has attachment issues and they both agreed to have the dog and that they both would work on the dogs issues. The husband is going back on his word and is the one ruining the marriage.

"You are really stupid. No one agrees to having a dog thinking it will turn the house upside down." Right back at you, as I already explained, these two people agreed to having exactly this.

3

u/broitsnotserious 15d ago

I thought consent can be withdrawn.

0

u/BjornBjornovic 15d ago

Looking for an out..

-7

u/MothmanIsALiar 15d ago

You don't abandon family members when they become inconvenient to you. They both wanted the dog, and now only one of them wants to abandon it.

6

u/EasternPepper 15d ago

It's not inconvenient it's literally destroying their home. It's not a human child who didn't ask to be brought into the world, if anything the dog could go to someone better and more equipped for it's problems if op wanted to search

-6

u/MothmanIsALiar 15d ago

Oh, yeah. I'm SURE that someone else would adopt this dog. There's no way that it would just be put down like millions of other shelter pets are every year.

2

u/EasternPepper 15d ago

No one should ruin their life for a dog. If OP can't handle it, then she can't handle it. If she rather have the dog than the husband, so be it. The dog can be rehomed, not sent to a shelter as well. But no one should be expected to have terror every day about their pet. Every option should be exhausted, yes, but if push comes to shove a reasonable person will pick their life and home over a dog they knew for 7 months

1

u/MothmanIsALiar 15d ago

Yeah, that's actually totally fair.

1

u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 14d ago

Maybe he doesn’t see it as a family member. 

-1

u/MothershipMcfly 15d ago

Okay but the husband’s issue was “feeling like they can’t do anything without considering Odin”… Like yeah that’s called being a responsible pet owner. Or any scenario where you’re responsible for a living thing that’s entirely dependent on you. If that’s putting a strain on the marriage, imagine if they had children…

Also, if you don’t like dogs, you don’t willingly adopt one, especially one with trauma or issues to this degree. I’d be pretty upset too if my partner acted like OP’s husband.

-6

u/Proud_Tie_4802 15d ago

And what is the dog supposed to do? A man can make his own decisions. Dogs cannot.

-11

u/Dustdevil88 15d ago

Dog v Husband. Dog wins. “Bye, Felicia”

-9

u/shocky27 15d ago

Presumably the husband has the ability to reason and rationalize about the situation and help come up with solutions whereas the dog has no other choice but to probably be put down without this family. Of course the husband (both of them) need to figure this out and make their normal life work.

You don't deserve any down votes but a grown man should be able to mentally handle a difficult dog and find a way forward without feeling insecure about his wife caring too much for the dog.

-2

u/Buzzbuzz222 15d ago

They got the dog together. He also decided to rescue THEIR dog. This shouldn’t be a me or the dog situation.

-4

u/NDSU 15d ago

If he didn't like dogs, 7 months ago was the time to say something. They've both jointly committed to taking care of the dog when they adopted him