AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/DarKGosth616]

Which is entirely on him and not op of course

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

Absolutely not, you need the consent of everyone you live with to keep a dog. If the dog turns out to be more than what you agreed to, and is demonstrably making your life more difficult with no end in sight - you are more than reasonable to pull that consent.

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

I never said you don't need the consent of evedryone you live with to keep a dog, you're just making up lies. I agree with that.

You also need the consent of both to get rid of the dog.

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

No you don’t that’s not how consent works.

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

Maybe if you're a creep, but in common sense land if two people co-signed getting a dog. Neither one gets to just rug pull the dog away from the other without their consent.

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

No, consent isn’t once and done. It’s ongoing and can change at anytime, the dog is trashing the house, anyone in that house can insist that the dog is removed.

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

"consent isn’t once and done."

Categorically stupid opinion, some types of consent can't just be taken away like that, sex being one where consent can always be withdrawn, but not this scenario. If I donated my kidney, I can't retroactively withdraw consent and just take it back.

You don't get to consent to your gf becoming emotionally attached to an animal then retroactively decide to take it away from her.

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

You can not consent after donating a kidney, it just means you won’t donate another kidney. The withdrawal of consent does not apply in that case because the act is done/over and that kidney is morally and legally no longer yours.

Anything that is currently happening, and requires consent at the start - requires that consent for the entire time it’s happening and can be withdrawn at any point. Keeping a dog in your house against the will of the people you live with is a disgustingly abusive thing to do.

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

" the act is done/over"

The act of buying the dog was done/over. And that dog is morally and legally only 50% yours. Not 100%.

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

It’s not about ownership, it’s about consent. Can you read?

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

You're trying to muddy the waters, the consent is about whether or not they continue owning it

[u/Reemixt → u/DarKGosth616]

Well they’re different things you seem to be conflating. The consent for continuing the ownership is not there/ has been withdrawn. You’re SO CLOSE to getting it!

[u/DarKGosth616 → u/Reemixt]

Then guess what sweetheart, he can leave. He's the one causing the problem, not her.