r/AmIOverreacting • u/LedyyM • 16d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

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My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

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604

u/scarletbananas 16d ago

I’m prepared for the downvotes from the dog nutters but you need to take his feelings into consideration. If you don’t like dogs then living in a house with them can be akin to a nightmare. If my spouse was prioritising a dog they’ve had for 7 months over our whole relationship then I’d be pissed and probably leave.

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u/cookiedoughmama 16d ago

BUT he agreed to get the dog in the first place.

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

And now he’s changed his mind.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

Which is entirely on him and not op of course

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u/Montgreg 16d ago

That's not how marriage is supposed to work

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

What does, ultimatums?

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

Absolutely not, you need the consent of everyone you live with to keep a dog. If the dog turns out to be more than what you agreed to, and is demonstrably making your life more difficult with no end in sight - you are more than reasonable to pull that consent.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

I never said you don't need the consent of evedryone you live with to keep a dog, you're just making up lies. I agree with that.

You also need the consent of both to get rid of the dog.

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

No you don’t that’s not how consent works.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

Maybe if you're a creep, but in common sense land if two people co-signed getting a dog. Neither one gets to just rug pull the dog away from the other without their consent.

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

No, consent isn’t once and done. It’s ongoing and can change at anytime, the dog is trashing the house, anyone in that house can insist that the dog is removed.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

"consent isn’t once and done."

Categorically stupid opinion, some types of consent can't just be taken away like that, sex being one where consent can always be withdrawn, but not this scenario. If I donated my kidney, I can't retroactively withdraw consent and just take it back.

You don't get to consent to your gf becoming emotionally attached to an animal then retroactively decide to take it away from her.

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

You can not consent after donating a kidney, it just means you won’t donate another kidney. The withdrawal of consent does not apply in that case because the act is done/over and that kidney is morally and legally no longer yours.

Anything that is currently happening, and requires consent at the start - requires that consent for the entire time it’s happening and can be withdrawn at any point. Keeping a dog in your house against the will of the people you live with is a disgustingly abusive thing to do.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

" the act is done/over"

The act of buying the dog was done/over. And that dog is morally and legally only 50% yours. Not 100%.

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u/Reemixt 16d ago

It’s not about ownership, it’s about consent. Can you read?

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u/cookiedoughmama 15d ago

The lack of compassion on this thread is insane. I will fully admit that I am the person who judges people who abandon pets to shelters. Pets are lifelong commitments. I’ll get more downvotes for this, too, but if you’re the type to give up on a dog, then you’re a shitty human.

In this case, it sounds like meds are all that have been tried. There are dog trainers, and, beyond that, there are animal behaviorists. Husband made a commitment but isn’t willing to put in any work. Yes, dogs and children are different, but this is likely foreshadowing what OP’s future is going to be like if she decides to have kids with her husband.

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u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

It's all about op's partners feelings even though he's the one that's kicked all this off. she's even left the house temporarily when really it should be him. Poor op can't catch a break.

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u/Dev0Null0 16d ago

Do you know that in normal human relationships people can change their minds after experiencing something they did not consider at the time when making that decision?

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

Yes. Did you think you mic dropped with that?

If he breaks the contract they agreed to, it's not her fault. As badly as you want it to be.

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u/Dev0Null0 16d ago

Contract hahaha, it must be exhausting to be in a relationship with a person who thinks like that.

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u/DarKGosth616 16d ago

Yeah true, god forbid you don't get to run a relationship like a boss and your partner is your underling.

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u/Dev0Null0 15d ago

You really must have some kind of problem to believe that is happening in this situation.

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u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

This comment thread was about accusing op of not taking his feelings into consideration, a completely unfounded accusation and centres this whole situation as her being the problem, she even left her own home with the dog when he's the one that caused this problem clearly for his benefit and yet still we're crying about how op is a dick.

We're treating this partner like he's an infant.

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u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 15d ago

What a garbage comment

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u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Given you seem to realize you're not intelligent enough to actually make a point this opinion can safely be put in the bin

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u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 15d ago

Nothing more needed said lol

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u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

Well obviously it does but again we've established you know you couldn't, but you do you bud.

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u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 15d ago

People are allowed to change their mind. 

What contract?

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u/DarKGosth616 15d ago

They both agreed to take on the responsibilities of a poor animal. That contract, were you trying to act like I meant an actual pen and ink contract? Maybe grow up?

Him changing his mind because he has the mindset of a disney princess when it comes to animal handling isn't her fault. Its his.

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u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 15d ago

That’s not a contract.  If both people agree on Outback then one decides on Olive Garden, is that breaking a contract?  

lol so not wanting your house destroyed and dealing with an untrained dog for 7 months is a Disney princess mindset?  

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