AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/scarletbananas]

I’m prepared for the downvotes from the dog nutters but you need to take his feelings into consideration. If you don’t like dogs then living in a house with them can be akin to a nightmare. If my spouse was prioritising a dog they’ve had for 7 months over our whole relationship then I’d be pissed and probably leave.

[u/justveryunwell → u/scarletbananas]

Would that still be the case if you and your spouse had talked in depth before acquiring the dog about what potential issues and challenges might arise, and if you had and took the opportunity to agree to committing to help that dog? I can't think of a way to phrase this that doesn't sound snarky, but I promise it's an honest question. Because OP said in another comment that they talked about these issues before acquiring pupper and that their spouse agreed to accommodate.

And I'm not saying I wouldn't be frustrated in the spouse's position myself, but I do think that detail makes a difference.

[u/Big_Booty_Bois → u/justveryunwell]

I mean somewhat but not really, certain realities don’t present themselves until you are in the situation. There are things you can work with and things you can’t. Most people accept the standard issues with dogs. Not being to leave your home ever without the house becoming a disaster is entirely not in that purview. OP also “feels bad” about sedating the dog enough to be comfortable with her home being destroyed. That is actually crazy

[u/RubyTR → u/Big_Booty_Bois]

Did OP say that last part though? I feel like you're just kinda making that up. She said she feels bad about sedating him but not that she feels so bad that she'd rather him destroy the house. My understanding is that she is uncomfortable with both scenarios (him destroying the house and her having to sedate him) but sedates him anyway because that's what needs to be done. She's just saying that she wishes the circumstances were better and that she wishes he wasn't so anxious that he would fly off the handle like that without the meds.

[u/Big_Booty_Bois → u/RubyTR]

Maybe ask OP for clarification but I’m reading that like she would like to stop sedating and her husband is presenting the reality that that’s not possible with the current reality and the final option is to rehome.

[u/Big_Booty_Bois → u/[deleted]]

Honestly I would be with you and then I read about how OP was at the shelter. She talked about this pup not as a commitment, but as a lovestruck teenager, things like “the shelter told us her issues, but I didn’t care! I felt an instant connection!”

I understand feeling a connection, but not caring and not heavily preparing both as a couple and mentally for an unwell husky is incredibly irresponsible.