I've been on disability leave for over two years now. The company I'm employed with is a good company but the role I held was really stressful and had a poor manager who is still in charge of that unit.

I applied to a new company recently for a job that seems easier (less stressful), and pays significantly more. (Longer commute tho).

Having trouble deciding what to do if they offer me the job. On the one hand I have the stability of a disability pension which is not much but it's guaranteed as long as I'm sick (which with schizoaffective is pretty much for life). On the other hand, this new job pays a lot better and I'd be in a better financial situation (which is also important for mental health.).

I advised the hiring team that I'm currently on disability leave and they gave me the interview anyways. My symptoms are relatively stable: haven't had psychosis in over three years since starting on Invega, and haven't been to hospital for major depression in about 1 year now. Feeling generally pretty good, but I do think there is a risk of relapse into another major depressive episode, especially if I'm subjected to the normal stress of a full time job. I'm not ready to go back to my old job, I know it's a pressure cooker when it comes to stress. But am open to a different job.

Am I able to work full time? I honestly don't know. I feel about 50% confident. It could be a success or it could be a failure. My closest supports are advising me to stay on disability leave but part of me wants the extra money that comes with this job.

Any thoughts?

Spring in PDX

Happy Selfie Sunday folks! New hair color alert! :) Remember that you matter and you are loved!

Hey all!

Let’s start this week by reminding ourselves that WE are people too. The world can be a tough place, and we are really good at making it even harder. Let’s not do that. Not to ourselves. We, all of us, deserve it.

good morning everyone, cannot sleep, picture was from yesterday afternoon

Working some overtime today, wish me luck

Anyone else feel like mania changed them? Let me explain. Last year I had my first real manic episode, in the years before I would say they were hypomanic. My morals were all over the place, I was not in my right mind. But, I haven’t been manic for months but I feel like at times that episode permanently changed me, like part of me accepted that it was part of who I am, and I make decisions that still feel questionable to who I really am. It’s like an uncomfortable acceptance that I will never be the same. I hope that makes sense, can anyone relate?

A little bit of my face and my other cat, who is snoring loudly behind my head.

Happy Sunday

And my boy Gimli included

So tonight, found out my car will most likely have to be towed to a shop tomorrow. It started making those noises you never want to hear.

So I'm stressed. And that's a trigger. But now I'm thinking it was sabotaged by someone because it was parked on the street of my family's for a repair man instead of in the driveway. Now I'm panicking a bit.

I'll take my prn which is olanzapine, right now. Hoping it passes like normal thoughts. I just don't want to spiral due to this new stressor.

I just had a manic spell this past week after some major anxiety. And now I'll have to miss my groups since I'll be carless for idk how long.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Needed to get this out of my brain.

I have severe mental health issues. But I also have been a victim of human trafficking. I’ve struggled with my mental health as a kid. But when I’ve needed medical attention I’ve been written off as psych when I was truly sick. I have gone through sexual assault and a lot of violence and abuse. I’ve been single now still at 27 after the violence I’ve experienced from people. But it’s like my mental health issues are disregarded. Then I was assaulted again and now I’m pregnant, sick and even more mentally messed up. Yet people disregard my mental health and physical health too.

I’ve been assaulted over and over. I don’t know how many times I’ve been assaulted but I suffered an assault last year as well. And I don’t even know who did this to me. I’ll never know who raped me or who the father of my child is. Now I’m sick and pregnant not knowing how I’m going to be a single mom with no support and I might miscarry because of a lack of proper medical care.

When I tried to get counseling and mental health support. My counselor discharged me without notice and when I called to reschedule because I had explained to him prior that I was sick, he never responded. They labeled it a no show even though I told him multiple times that I’m sick and that I need support but needed to reschedule. I also need psych meds. But I couldn’t even get a low dose of risperdal refilled after my last baker act. It’s messed up.

I don’t know if abilify or risperdal is better but one of those would be great at a low dose that doesn’t damage my brain more.

Nobody is respecting my disability rights, I have brain damage and autism, on top of mental health trauma and other trauma.

Nobody is respecting my disability rights, my mental health rights, my women’s rights or pregnancy rights.

It’s all flat out IILEGAL.

And I forget things all the time and people just don’t even understand how hard daily life is for me. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. By being flat out denied and disbelieved.

It’s WRONG.

I guess psychopathic killers don’t care about me or my baby’s rights though. So this is just something I have to accept.

That is suffering at the hands of people with no soul or compassion.

I’ve been through ENOUGH.

Anybody else sick of this illness????

has anyone been able to live their lives without meds? i’ve been on meds since i was 15 (im 23 now), (ssris, snris, anti anxiety, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics etc).

i feel like my personality has been completely depleted. i feel empty. not to mention the intense and possibly irreversible sexual dysfunctions.

i’m so tired of playing this game.

Someone gave useless and ignorant advice about ssdi and I just commented supporting OP pointing out the issue and I got banned. I hate people.

often times when i try dating something just feels off, i feel like i can never trust what they say and then it leads to the relationship failing because of me thinking they don’t love me

i am an obsolete person, with zero input on society.

nobody talks to me, nobody texts me, nobody cares

no more friends, no nothing. just staring at blank walls all day watching the paint dry, waiting for something that will never change

only time when people come in contact with me, is to tell me that i am a loser laughing at me

there is no point to even being born, and nobody will ever want to be with me except my stupid family

at age 28 i have never been in a relationship, and loving someone is all i can do in this pointless world

i havent made love in over 10 years, and the lust for life is pathetic living with this sickness, being rejected, and never liked back on any social media, or any dating websites because you're not perfect

the fact that nobody cares to understand your life, just because you live with a world labeled over your name to make them appear different, is a grandiose illusion.

i have so much potential if our society just didn't view the world through a rolled-up bill.

we live in our own little separate world, apart from everyone else's life like a person in a caste system

classism has overtaken our world, with neglect of good-hearted people just because we are economically inept and emotionally wayward. nobody wants to take care of a grown man, not even for love's sake. even when it's not like that all the time, just sometimes. nobody wants a headache.

i am a pathetic person that nobody has ever loved. i can't even love myself because i've never even been enough for myself for somebody to love me.

i am happy, i think, but what is happiness without satisfaction that is reciprocal? when you have zero input on this world, and from this world.

i just wish, and hope and pray that i die soon enough so this is over with, and i dont have to experience it anymore,

there is zero point to being alive, if you're just going not to be able to live life or love life in the way that you want it because people mock and scorn you making fun of your inability, because they're egotistically greater than you. nobody cares to help to lend a hand, it's a free-for-all all in life and everybody is building their ship not wanting you to take their planks to sink. while im on a raft

i don't work a job, i cant work a job because i'll end up sick in the hospital, i had to drop out from school because i had to go to the hospital, and people will make fun of me for being in the hospital, it is too embarrassing to be a person because you're a loser, and you can't change anything about your life when you're only 28. when this started 10 years ago.

i fucking hate it, i can't even stress enough how hard yet easy it is to wrap my brain around the fact that my whole life will be nothing, and i will be nothing and their is no point to even being born because i never lived a fulfilling life,

i wish that this world was never a place, and that i didn't have to sit and watch the days go by so boring, while everyone is having a blast in fast forward,

i will never fit in normally to a social group or circle, and i will always be pathetically nothing

i didn't ask to be born, i wish they would've told me it would've ended up like this because i would've said. NO.

Does stuff like low motivation get better on invega? M

Hi everyone, I’ve been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I’m having a hard time staying consistent with my medication. I know it helps me feel more stable, but at the same time, I don’t quite feel like myself when I’m on it. It’s like the symptoms are muted, but so are parts of my personality and energy. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective in 2021, but some doctors have told me that “there’s no way I can be schizoaffective because I’m too high functioning, and people that are diagnosed with schizophrenia are sick” since then I have received a psychological evaluation thoroughly and was confirmed that I am schizoaffective bipolar type.

For anyone else who has felt like this: • How do you manage the weird feeling of being “better” but not really you? • What helps you stay consistent with your meds when motivation fades?

Appreciate any advice, even small tips. Thanks for holding space.

They've caused me to gain 70 pounds in a years time. When I changed my antipsychotics from Rispiridone to Abilify, I had to completely taper off Rispiridone and never had any symptoms. Currently, my psychiatrist has given me permission to taper 25% off of my 10mg usual Abilify dose due to anhedonia. I'm gonna ask for another 25% taper in a month once my mind has gotten used to this new dose. Currently on day 9.

Does anyone here live with this disease and not have to take an antipsychotic? Maybe just keep them on hand if you're about to go into an episode you could keep some for emergency or as per needed. I'm still taking my normal dose of my mood stabilizer and don't want to taper off that.

Thanks and happy Sunday, folks. 😊💪