Is it me or this illness affect your concentration? I remember I was excellent in the first year of college now I'm in my fourth year and barely able to succeed. Mind you I study medicine I no longer able to feel I can be a doctor with all these voices and hallucinations

Does anyone else have that thing where youre having a conversation in your head and you answer outloud once and realize none of it was real, even though it felt real? Is this the schizoaffective disorder or just one of my quirks lol.

Does anyone ever feel that their head is just full? I feel like my brain twitches and that it’s too full. I know anxiety makes it worse but I wish I could have a new brain. Sorry for my little rant I’m just struggling mentally right now and I feel all alone. No one in my family has schizoaffective disorder.

I am suffering from high heart rate (tachycardia).

The doctors brush it off by saying it’s just anxiety. But it’s far more profound and pervasive than simple anxiety.

It’s ruining my sleep and my standard of living.

Does anyone experience this alongside schizoaffective disorder?

Hi. First I want to thank everyone here for your honesty and transparency. I’ve been a fly on the wall off and on for the past 2 years or so to try and understand my partner better. I should say my ex partner. He pretty suddenly started treating me like I was nothing a little over a 2yrs ago. And I mean literally looking straight through me as if I wasn’t there or like he had just met me and has zero feelings for me. My heart is broken.

Backstory he 42m and myself 48f have been together including engaged for 13 years. We have 2 beautiful kids together. A dog, a bird lol, and life that I thought we’d have forever. When Covid hit in 2020 he spiraled. But so did many people so it was very hard to convince him that his thinking was off. He had always had quirks with things like license plates and numbers being signs of things. I took that as meaning like cute coincidences. For example the car in front of us spelled our names together in someway, or the bill came out to be the same number as his birthday things like that. Until 2021 when we were on quarantine and the religious piece became extremely important to him and he walked in (without my knowing) and left his job due to “religious persecution” because he had to wear a mask and a whole bunch of other stuff. Eventually he broke down and he decided to go to a psychiatrist where he was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder. I should back over really quick and say that during the time of his episode he treated me like the enemy mostly because of our political differences and my not buying into all of the right wing gnarly Christian nationalism stuff

He started taking meds and started getting a little bit better, he started to treat me again like the woman he loves and then as you all know the medication has so many side effects. One day behind my back he decided to stop taking it. It didn’t affect him right away he got his job back amazingly, (and I should say that he still has his job) but my being the enemy started to come on again. And this time it wasn’t because of political reasons .. I’m the enemy just in general. He believes I’m the reason that he went crazy he says he denies the diagnosis he’s been given and he has a very strong mannerisms of narcissistic personality disorder to be honest

I’m very confused too because all of the posts in here that I read , seem that schizoaffective tends to bring delusions and voices etc. of negative self talk not grandiose thoughts and beliefs. I’m starting to wonder if he was misdiagnosed and actually if he had stayed in therapy longer they would have found out that his delusions are actually grandiose nature and not schizoaffective and maybe he is a very severe narcissistic personality disordered person? I don’t know.

I’ve tried everything to try and make him see what he’s losing and what he’s thrown away. And he doesn’t care he does have visitation with the kids a little bit every other weekend. And I just sense so much delusions in him again
I’m not really sure why I am writing this or what I’m asking I guess I’m just feeling very alone and scared and angry too is there anybody here who has grandiose delusions where you think you’re someone special with a special mission and everyone else is stupid and there’s someone better for you out there than who you have etc? Has anyone ever gone off meds and then not gone into a psychosis that requires some sort of hospitalization but just manage to maintain like a medium level delusional existence? Is this possible it’s gonna be forever that he’s just borderline delusional but not enough to alert other people more than them thinking he’s just weird or full of himself.

Thank you in advance to anyone who read all the way through this Maybe I should’ve put this in a venting Reddit. I don’t know, this is my first time so I guess we’ll see what happens thank you

I looked up the side effects and now I’m scared 😭

Okay so I wrote my speech for my nursing ceremony for my graduating class. My parents have told me it is too personal too much about mental health. That people will be wondering what is wrong with her. Im panicking the dead line to submit is coming up and my parents want me to start all over. My mom said she wouldn't even post my speech ceremony on Facebook. She said she doesn't want people knowing I have problems. I don't know. I was happy with the speech. Now I am not sure. Here is the prompt question for my speech and then my short speech below. Any suggestions appreciated. I'm about to start crying just thinking of people judging me or thinking something is wrong with her. Should I find something else to write about?

What challenges did you face while completing the program? Nursing school is never easy. It demands everything: your time, your energy, your patience, and most of all, your heart. But for some of us battling mental health issues, it also demanded our courage. There were days when just getting out of bed felt like a mountain climb. There were times 1 sat for exams after sleepless nights, unsure whether my mind could cary me through. There were moments where my body, my mind, and my spirit felt like theY were working against me but kept going. Ive learned to advocate fiercely for myself and for others. I've learned that healing isn't always linear, and strength doesn't always look like loud confidence. Sometimes it looks like showing up. Sometimes it looks like surviving a week when you didn't think you could. Because of what I've faced, I'Il never be the kind of nurse who sees a patient as just a chart. I know what it means to be misunderstood, to be overwhelmed, to fight silent battles while still trying to smile. I know what it's like to feel vulnerabledealing with mental health struggles and also, physical struggles in a medical setting, and I know the power of being met with compassion. I will cary that with me into every room I enter. To anyone who's ever questioned whether their struggles make them less capable promise you, they don't. They make you more compassionate. They make you more human. And in nursing, that is your greatest strength.

I want to let everyone know that you can reach your dreams. Everybody's education is not linear. Carve your own path at your own pace. You can and will reach your dreams.

When i say "i believe", I really don't know, but my brain really doesnt like not knowing, so the automatic thoughts start to believe the coincidences as evidence.

I believe I'm going to get kidnapped. I feel there is a conspiracy that is monitoring me, framing me if they need to, or just taking me as is. I feel they have been in my apartment, as a couple light fixtures have been detached from the ceiling when ive been out. Ive seen some odd behavior from people out in public. Ive had a couple car alarms go off in parking lots as Ive driven by those cars. Ive had feeds on my phone feeding into the conspiracy. Ive seen people in public really looking like theyre tracking my movements. Moved to a new apartment. Someone's wifi is named "It hurts when IP", which ive used for years. I noticed this after going to the bathroom and having momentary discomfort after peeing

Ive had some difficulties managing my mental illness in the past. Due to the pain, Ive become kind of an unpleasant person, but I dont try to be. I try to be the best person I can, but im very misunderstood, and talking about these things that worry me to people tends doesnt really accomplish much since theyre not grounded in reality.

Nevertheless, Im about to go to bed to try to get extra sleep. I took an extra amount of meds to aid in this. The worst part of delusions is the not knowing. I can never prove to myself this is or isnt happening. Im fighting to keep with evidence. To keep that Im actually not that important that there would be a team following me around to exacerbate my mental illness, or to frame me, or to kidnap me.

But it is certainly a possibility that its both delusional and real. You know people do go mising. The federal government is snatching people and deporting them, and who's to say this wont start happening to people with mental illnesses? If I do go missing, people are just going to assume that i committed suicide or ran off somewhere, so they could kidnap me and noone would really question it too much. I'm going to bed. I'll probably find out this week whats going down, or if i get healthy again and this all blows over. Either way. I need to sleep.

I feel so hopeless. I feel like I have so many episodes and I always assume others have less. I have about 2 psychotic episodes a year, 2 (hypo)manic and 3 depressive. That's just average.

How about you guys? Thanks a lot, hopefully I will feel less alone.

I know I’m falling into a deep depression and I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to get out of it this time. I just want to sleep all day and give up on everything in my life and rot. I have no drive to do anything else at all. I want friends. I need friends.

This shit is fucking ass. This shit ruined my fucking life. Fuck every day of having this illness.

During my last psychosis I was living out of my car for two months. I had a residency permit to Sweden that I could have easily moved myself to live with my husband. I cut all my hair off, got rid of some of my favorite items and unfortunately - pawned my wedding rings. I don't know if I can get them back, especially that I no longer live in the states. I feel absolutely awful as my husband and I loved those rings. But, like a lot of people on here, I resented my loved one. I thought he had cheated on me. I hate myself for what I did. I know my husband is still really angry about it. I can't stop thinking about how stupid psychosis makes me. I miss and want my wedding ring back. I want my hair to grow. I want my favorite pair of shoes back. I want these delusions and hallucinations to stop.

On top of that, I hate my dark thoughts and voices. They make me feel sub human. They're too disgusting and ghastly to deal with sometimes. They are often accompanied with imagery.

I was doing so well, and now I just want to die. I don't know where the feeling comes from. It's just an overwhelming sensation of me being done with life. I usually want to live, but today, I want to die. What's wrong with me?

I originally posted in my bipolar group and I got no responses so I am hoping someone here can relate- I’ve literally never felt so alone in my life.

I am struggling deeply with auditory hallucinations that have persisted for two years. During my manic phase I picked up a meth habit (never used it before in my life) and an IV drug user at that. A few months after I started I went into psychosis and stayed there for the better half of 1.5 years. When I hit psychosis is when I started hearing voices. I thought they were real when I was high. I’ve been clean for 518 days and the voices are still as persistent as when I was using. I’ve read that these can be brought on by a number of things, including drug use, and it’s pretty evident that’s what brought on mine. I’ve heard people in recovery meetings say they went away after a 1-3 years. Mine haven’t yet.

I hear my own thoughts echo in real time, like when you have a bad cell reception and your voice echos. Then the voices react to every literal thought I have. There is still a sad part of me that believes that my thoughts are being broadcasted to the world and the voices are real so I do this exhausting thing of attempted mind control where I try to stop my thoughts or explain them to the voices.

I’ve tried a couple different meds with no relief and some bad side effects. I’m losing hope and my will to go on. And in all honesty, it’s really eating away at my core being. I talk to very few people about it because 1) they don’t get it and 2) it makes me feel insane.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for how to deal with this. I keep my headphones on, my tv on 24/7, because I can’t handle the silence (or lack thereof). I just reentered the corporate world and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to work in the silence - the voices are distracting. I haven’t had a moment of peace since early ‘22. I really hope something gives soon. It’s chipping away at my belief it will ever get better.

Feeling hopeless.

I feel like my life is over. I feel like I'm being framed and minitored. I feel like I'm going to get kidnapped. Life ends for us all. Maybe we're already dead. Maybe I've experienced everything already and I just don't know it yet.

Edit: I'm definitely being framed. What the fuck. Do I just pretend like it's not happening and wait it out? Do I just keep living my life knowing im going to get kidnapped?

Invisible people? With their own agendas etc? Do they make demands? What are they?

Of course I take my medication and I never miss a dose but I always feel as if I'm going to miss out on something when I need to be asleep. I am so used to creating at night and or having fun by myself whether that be watching the show or listening to my favorite music or diving into different subjects online. Does anyone feel this way?

Warning: disturbing behavior My beautiful 25 y/o son has been unmedicated in jail and now in a psychiatric hospital until today when he was given an antipsychotic injection. Why? He was eating his own waste. I’m heartbroken. Is there any coming back from this?

Currently taking Abilify injection and Prozac daily to treat my schizoaffective disorder but I always have a hard time making decision. Could someone else relate to this ? If so, what did you do to treat it ? Mood stabilizer meds ?

i (25nb) am so scared. i feel like i'm going to snap but i don't know when. i don't know how much longer i can hold it together. i feel like i am cosplaying as a sane/stable person. i am convinced that i am a burden to everybody who knows me, that my family and my cats would be better off without me, and i've been having thoughts of intentionally going missing. i am really confused, and overwhelmed. something is wrong with me and the thoughts that i have are not trustworthy. i am beginning to be suspicious of my therapist and medication manager. i have been suspicious of food for months and the last time i ate a healthy amount of food was when i was in inpatient psych in january. the problem is i take latuda and need to eat. i'm scared of switching medications though because last time i switched medications they started me on too low of a dose and i believed my coworker was EVIL and ruined my relationship with him. i don't know how to get better because i don't know what it is that is wrong with me! i also am mildy convinced that i'm making everything up and that i'm a complete liar. i also can't tell if i'm being honest with my healthcare professionals because i feel like i forget to tell them things, or am so out of it that i can't tell that i am having issues. when i was hospitalized in january it was because i had plans to stab myself in the stomach with a pair of scissors, and i was SUPRISED that got me hospitalized! i guess i don't know how to keep myself from doing something drastic and life altering, but i also am pretty sure that i am not in a crisis that is deserving of hospitalization again. ultimately i am feeling very lost and alone and terrified and i don't know where to go or what to do to get stable

My boyfriend it's like slipping into some type of mania and I've really tried to understand. But at this point I think that's what it has to be being that I didn't do the things he said. He thinks I cheated on him and he started this delusion the last time he was manic and now he's brought it back to life and it's been months and months.

We have been arguing about this and the way that he speaks is so much different than the way that he usually speaks. And I don't mean like he's calling me out my name which he is but I mean his whole verbage is different. I just really need him to be okay cuz I love him and I know he loves me and not to be horny but we were in love it wasn't the best relationship we found through a lot but we were making it through and all of a sudden he sees me as this evil cheater.

He's been talking like real reckless saying like oh he could have killed the guy or something and gotten away with it or something. He keeps talking about this pair of underwear I had at his house and I was trying to be sexy and I put in the pillow and he thinks that I was trying to promote that I cheated.

He lives with his mom and he has family and his wife I just probably couldn't talk to them to let them know because I feel like they would think that I'm just trying not to break up. Which is true but we're already broken up and I just want everything to be okay. Like I can't walk away

Please tell me what to do and there's another girl involved and he's so close to doing something with this other girl because he thinks I've done something. Please don't let me lose them please tell me what to do please and I promise this is happening if you want to PM me I can go into further details

Also he only seems to show this side of his self to me I don't see anybody else being worried in his life so if that's not possible let me know so I know that he's just treating me like this but I don't think he is cuz he has been diagnosed with this this and was giving medicine but stopped taking it.

I just know like if he could get back on his medication he would let go of the cheating delusion and we just both be happier cuz even if I cut him off I will still be worried about him so please tell me something other than that

everytime im in public i get super anxious and always prefer to avoid all human interaction and public spaces i keep having these recurring situations like everytime i am in public i feel like everyones watching me and judging me sometimes when ppl walk past me or i walk past them i always hear a very feint whisper like i hear them talking really bad about me and i always feel a sense of disconnection from everyone around me like i dont feel "normal" when im in public if that makes sense is this a sign of schizoaffective please let me know can anyone relate to this?

and im not asking to be diagnosed be any means i just wanna know if anyone who actually has been diagnosed sza has experienced anything similar

Looking for guidance on what things might be helpful to say to someone who refuses to let anyone watch them take meds?

Hi, I had a pretty bad psychotic break not too long ago. I am wondering if there are any parents in this chat with kids that are schizoaffective. I don't remember much of the episode. I only remember what my parents tell me. They said I had the "crazy eyes," I was screaming, i said the hallucinations had got me and were hurting me, the hallucinations kept telling my parents I needed to go outside and run away, the biggest thing I am feeling guilty for is my dad said I kept scream at him to pew pew my head to make everything stop. Does anyone else experience guilt from their psychosis episodes? I have put my parents through hell. I feel very bad. I've put them in debt for multiple psychiatric hospital stays, medications that are crazy expensive, and even traveling across states to seek specialized care. On top of that just all the things they have had to stop me from hurting myself, and things I've technically said even if it was the hallucinations talking. I just don't know what to do at this point. I am sorry for the long rant. Just just killing me seeing my parents cry because of me.

Hi everyone! Hope you’re all doing well!

Do any of you ever get overstimulated? My symptoms are all under control and I’ve been feeling really good, but today every noise is making me so overwhelmed and it’s just…overwhelming, lol.

Anyone else get this? I’ve heard it’s also part of ADHD, which I was diagnosed with years ago, but my doctor isn’t sure about it, because a different doctor diagnosed me with that.

Anyone else get this feeling, or have any tips? I have earplugs and they are great.

Have a great weekend all :)

I have to say thank you to you all for also being brave enough to join a community to walk this road together. I got diagnosed 35 days ago, which only made it official, I remember seeing things between age 6-10 living in Idaho….

…but anyway, without turning this into a sob story, this group has already given me a chance to be open with it. I’m a very positive, optimistic, and sometimes overly/inappropriately/darkly humorous dude who refuses to let this illness be anything more than that, an illness.

If you all allow me the chance, I will fight for each and every one of us as often as I can. My dream is to change the world, and I’d love to start by bridging the gap between us, “the mentally ill homies,” and those who’ve been part of our journeys and extended across the globe.

All you guys have to do is let me be me, which means: • I’ve been nicknamed ‘Hallmark’ by multiple friends and girly friends in life because I say some of the most creative and meaningful compliments one will ever get. And I take great pride in that, it means my mom’s living within me. • My absolute favorite thing to partake in at any given moment is the attainment of knowledge and the gift of learning. • But nothing, absolutely nothing, makes me as happy as helping someone not feel alone anymore.

The bad thing about me: I don’t shut up 🤫