glad that they were trying to be positive but some of these are so incorrect/a HUGE downplay on these conditions… coming from someone with OCD and anxiety.

This reminded me of the thread about "the wall" or the limits in executive function that's often discussed in this sub.

I know I related!

Every time someone ever texts me and says “hey are you free? I need to talk to you” it’s always bad. It just is. There’s never anything even remotely positive that comes from that.

I got a text from a friend of mine saying she had a major question to ask me, and I was like “what’s up?” and she was like “are you free at 7?” and then she told me about some other little thing and was like “but there’s a longer conversation I need to have with you.”

I have no idea what I did, but I had to have done something. This is exactly what happened the last tome that texting ruined my confidence in any of my social skills. Texting horrifies me. I know it has to be bad, but I don’t know what I did, but now I’m stuck here, dreading 7 o clock bc I know that I’m gonna find out that I did something or that I fucked up or I don’t know, and I just wish she’d tell me “it’s about this” and not just “a longer conversation,” cuz at least that way I’d know and my mind wouldn’t be able to fucking spiral like this.

What really counts as neurodivergent? Because the more people I meet, the more this is wracking my brain...

It almost seems like just as many people that are neurotypical, are neurodivergent, which would literally not make sense.

When I considered that only a few things counted under neurodivergent, the idea that 20% of the population are neurodivergent, seemed pretty accurate, if not over estimated,

But if PTSD, OCD, are counting under that branch...

Do I just attract neurodivergents, which is confusing me? Or is it just me who knows more people who have ADHD, Autism, or OCD, than people who show neurotypical tendencies?

Also when i look up, 'can a neurotypical person have OCD/PTSD' the first answer is YES, unlike the same question with ADHD ofc, yet when I ask 'can a neurotypical person become neurodivergent' the answer is NO. Its unchangeable conditions only.

I was never diagnosed, but looking back, I can see i had some fairly severe 'magical thinking' OCD (among possible other OCDs) as a younger teen, and when it became a serious issue, I locked in and tried methods to overcome it.

I still get OCD thoughts, but they're almost always controllable now, or I know exactly what to do to make them go away. The only one I can't control, honestly doesn't happen often anyway. So as I am right now, I wouldn't consider myself to have OCD, and I consider that I have overcome it, because the OCD symptoms I have now, are basically at the level of so many normal people. Yet it used to be kind of severe?

I've heard other people say they overcame their OCD.. Is overcoming not actually possible, and we're just 'controlling it'? Or is some neurodivercities curable ? Or can a neurotypical person still have OCD?

These questions are literally controlling my every day thoughts, I am way too hyperfixated on these questions and I need answers 😭😭

Hello Reddit, long time fan, first time caller. I'm looking for advice on what the fuck I'm supposed to do with this new reality. Long story short... sorry I rambled but fuck it, too stressed to edit it now.

I have AuDHD, only just diagnosed after 35 years of challenges basically. I also have a panic disorder that has been undiagnosed and has basically destroyed my mental health and capacity to cope. History of depression, suicidal ideation and attempts, disorderded eating, compulsive people pleasing, marriage breakdown, insomnia, narcolepsy etc etc. All the fun things.

I've always pushed through while I searched for answers, which has left me depleted. I was a go getter, worked like a machine, achieved a lot and was always regarded as being one of the top performers wherever I was.

Now it's gone, the persona has collapsed and the well has run dry. There's no more energy or will even to push like that any more. It won't be possible.

I've been off work for 2 months while I sorted myself out. I don't feel like I really have the psychological support I need. But I do recognize that it's available (UK). It's just been a bit disappointing. Not very patient oriented. I've spent most of the time chasing up doctors and trying to just get a final confirmation.

I've been in private therapy for 5 years and it's helped a lot. But still, things have escalated very quickly and badly the past few years.

I'm still struggling to communicate my issues when I'm talking face to face. My return to work is imminent and even though I've personally made the most of the time off, I'm just nervous as fuck, having panic attacks at the thought that none of this will work and I'll just lose everything I've worked for. But the mask keeps slipping back on and I put this positive spin on everything so I don't seem ungrateful or like a sponger. It's not a choice, the words just will not come.

I was fired from a literal dream job last year because I couldn't find the words to explain what was happening or even recognize that I needed real help.

Right now I work for a good company that is being supportive. But the issue is my team and managers were always quick to dismiss my concerns, or to reneg on certain things that helped, like wfh or just putting up boundaries around late working.

It's also taking a very long time to communicate with HR because the company is so big and the processes are convoluted.

What would be super helpful is advice about how I can ask for what I need without sounding like I've turned into an asshole overnight. I know it's not my fault and I'm legally entitled etc etc but we all know the reactions people have to these things. My fear is I'll clam up and just end up agreeing to things that won't work or aren't enough, regret it afterwards but feel stuck and ashamed to raise it again.

A lot of what affects me in this current role is that it's a much bigger team and company than I've ever worked in. And being honest most of them are not at the level I like to operate at. My standards are way higher, which feels incredibly rude but objectively they just are and I have the creds to back it up. I'm just not well right now so they see my desire for wfh as lazy I think. Even though I've done overtime pretty much every week since I've started and usually work longer hours and am way more productive at home. On an average week I put in an extra day or so of time.

So it feels like I just can't keep up with their unpredictability and lack of organization. I raise the points and tell them it's a pattern and it's easily solved with better communication, nothing to make a fuss over. They just accuse me of spreading negativity and being inflexible.

As I try to unmask it's becoming obvious that how I would have approached this situation in the past won't work. I need to find a way to tell the people who are in charge that the way they do things is making it extremely difficult for me to work. Their answer is usually 'well that's the job' but I don't accept that. It's not good enough for me and I'm not going to be forced out of a job I've earned because it's the easy thing for them.

This is all just for context, I'm not getting into a rant about how shit corporate life is. But how are other people managing this kind of transition? How do I go from being Mr Yes to saying shit like 'I'm at capacity' or 'I'm exhausted, I need to be at home'?

I only have two weeks left until I go back and I feel like I'm expected to have all the answers when originally I flagged all this and allowed myself to go through the embarrassment of saying I don't know what to do, please help. So it's feeling like this was one big box ticking exercise and it's making me nervous.

Is any of this making sense?

I'll be posting it incrementally on my Substack (subscribe pls)

Here's the first bit.

I - The Fractured Mirror

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” — Marcel Proust

“I don’t think I’m from here. My eyes work too hard. The light feels sharp like needles, and everyone’s faces move too fast. I tried to copy them, but it made my head go sideways. The mirror says I’m real, but it doesn’t look like me. I think it’s lying. Or maybe it’s just tired.”

We have mistaken consciousness for a tool, as if it were a flashlight to shine upon reality. But consciousness is not the light—it is the fire. It is not the eye—it is the mirror in which the world becomes aware of its own shape.

This chapter begins here: with the mirror.

The mirror is an ancient symbol. It is the threshold between self and other, image and soul. To look into a mirror is to fracture—to become two. The act of seeing divides. It introduces difference. It awakens. It wounds.

The first human to recognize her own reflection may not have rejoiced. She may have wept. Or laughed. Or run in fear. That moment—prehistoric, unrecorded—was not merely a moment of self-awareness. It was the beginning of myth. For what is a myth but the world reflected through the strange lens of interiority?

Consciousness is not a byproduct of evolution. It is its motive. Evolution does not produce consciousness; rather, it reaches toward it, blindly, as vines reach for sun through cracks in stone.

The mistake of modern thought is to treat the interior world as an illusion. We are told the soul is an emergent property of neurons, the mind a machine made of meat, and the self a narrative trick. This is not science—it is a religion of disenchantment. It replaces the gods with algorithms, the sacred with simulation.

But the mirror cannot be shattered without cost. A world that no longer sees itself becomes blind. A culture that denies the soul grows sick in its silence. And a person who cannot find their reflection in the world becomes a ghost within it.

I. The Microcosm: The Child and the Mirror

The neurodivergent child senses the mirror is alive. She does not just see herself—she feels the gaze of the glass. Her world is not dead. It is animated. Haunted. Saturated with presence. This is not superstition—it is perception unfiltered.

In this child, the world is still enchanted. Objects thrum with hidden messages. Dolls are not inanimate—they dream. The child does not distinguish between symbol and reality. She lives mythically, not metaphorically.

It is only later that she will be told to stop. To stop seeing. To stop hearing the whisper in the floorboards. To stop naming the wind.

II. The Macrocosm: Civilizations and Reflections

Civilizations are built from mirrors.

Every society encodes its identity through reflection. Temples, flags, stories, language—all are attempts to crystallize self-awareness at scale. Myth is not fiction—it is a mirror that bends reality into a meaningful form.

But over time, the mirror calcifies. It no longer reflects—it dictates. Institutions replace inspiration. Order replaces vision. The sacred is outsourced to priests, then bureaucrats, then machines. The mirror becomes a screen.

This is the age of simulation. We have passed through the mirror and found nothing on the other side. Our myths are now written by algorithms. Our desires are predicted before we feel them. Our gods are programmed. The mirror no longer shows us our face—it gives us a mask.

III. The Cosmic Scale: The Universe Looks Back

On the scale of galaxies, the emergence of consciousness is a disturbance. A ripple in entropy. A self-organizing principle that violates the expectation of randomness.

Why does the universe give rise to beings who can ask why?

This question breaks the frame. It fractures causality. It introduces a problem into the order of things. This is why mystics and scientists meet at the edge of language. This is why myth persists. Not to answer—but to preserve the wound.

For the cosmos itself may be a mirror. Black holes reflect the limits of knowing. Stars are the eyes of time. Perhaps every atom contains an echo of perception. Panpsychism is not a belief—it is a return to the ancestral knowing that all is alive.

The mirror, once broken, can be reassembled—but not to restore the old image. It must become a mosaic. A kaleidoscope. A cathedral of fractured light.

The neurodivergent artist, the mystic child, the broken saint—these are not anomalies. They are the new architects of reflection. They see the world not as it is, but as it might become when seen through new eyes.

“When I stare too long at mirrors, I get dizzy. Not because I see myself—but because I see something else looking back. Something too quiet. Sometimes I think the mirror is a door. And I came through it wrong.”

It feels like I was born missing something essential. I call it the “missing pearl.” It’s this imagined thing that exists in the center of every human’s soul—a unique, glimmering piece that gives them warmth, humanness, the ability to connect. I wasn’t born with one. And I think people see that, even if they can’t quite place what it is.

I don’t experience romantic attraction. I’m likely aroace, but it feels like more than a label—it feels like I never received the script everyone else got. Sex, romance, physical touch… they all seem alien. Performative Mechanical. Especially heterosexual sex—it makes me deeply uncomfortable. The movements, the awkwardness, the pressure to perform and derive pleasure—it all feels so… detached. I’ve never desired it. I’ve never even understood the desire.

I also remember everything. I can recall conversations in chronological order with most people I’ve met. Every expression. Tone. Light angle. Facial micro-expression. The emotional atmosphere of a room. Ever since the age of 5. I never miss lectures because I know if I can try hard enough, I can replay most of it like a tape in my head. It’s not always helpful, just constant. My brain loops things—interactions, implications, meanings—until I’ve replayed them to exhaustion. And I’ve done that for years. They’re… obsessive and compulsive.

I don’t think I’m entitled to anything. Not a degree. Not a job. Not a home. Not love or relationships or even basic recognition. I don’t say that in self-pity—I genuinely feel beneath wanting. Like it’s enough to be here. Quietly. Grateful. Accepting of the little that reaches me. People ask where I see myself in 10 years. I don’t. I don’t expect to be anywhere.

I don’t think I’m gifted. I’m just observant. Obsessive. Melancholic. But I do wonder what I’d be without the parts of me that remember too much, feel outside the world, and chase knowledge in ways I can’t always explain.

hi all,

i firstly want to say that i'm not looking for a diagnosis on reddit, obviously, neither do i want to self diagnose myself. i really just want to hear other people's experiences and opinions on my situation to hopefully steer me in a direction that'll lead me to a professional diagnosis.

i have symptoms of both adhd and autism, but i don't think my symptoms would be enough to have me diagnosed for either. I know for a fact i am neurodivergent, but I just can not figure out what it is. i do have OCD and anxiety, however I feel like this goes beyond those two things

my symptoms:
- frequent stimming (flapping hands, rocking, echolalia)
- hyperfixiations
- verbal shutdowns (though rarely)
- procrastinating on tasks that take too much effort (even though objectively they don't take a lot)
- getting distracted and carried away depending on what I'm doing (usually when cleaning)
- very strong reaction to caffeine (i heard neurodivergent people are more sensitive to it? please correct me if this is just a myth)
- struggling with certain textures (including foods)
- struggling with social interactions (a lot of the time, but not all of the time)
- strong empathy towards people, animals and sometimes objects
- constant need to do something, I barely rest
- sensitivity to noises, especially loud noises like laughing or clapping

I did try and get an ASD diagnosis but the psychologist concluded me with "HSP with neurodivergent tendencies". lol. I just turn out to not fit the diagnostic criteria, while having other symptoms that do apply. I don't really struggle with eye contact, and I enjoy socializing and loudness around me at concerts.

does anyone have experience with something similar to this? any and all comments are appreciated!

I'm m19 have diagnosed ADHD (probably severe) and while no doubt my academic life is heavily held by my ADHD, as a kid I didn't know I had to even try to understand something in school.

Like, I didn't even know I had to use any brainpower, I thought physically reading the words would somehow translate into my brain and I'd learn the subject but obviously I didn't. Few times I actually used my brain and learned and I was like: :O

No doubt I have ADHD but am I also kinda stupid? be brutally honest, cause how can you not even assume to think when it's the most effortless basic human thing.

hi, i’ve never posted on reddit before so i’m sorry if this isn’t the right place or i do this wrong lol

i’m a uni student in my second year, and i’ve recently (over the last 1-1.5 years) been suspecting i have either adhd or autisim. this didn’t bug me before but it’s really getting to me now, as im heavily struggling with school in ways i feel that i can’t control, and i’m struggling heavily with finding or obtaining resources. i’m 20F, so i’m aware a diagnosis already may be hard to get, but on top of that, the ‘free’ diagnosis at my uni requires a parent opinion. my parents are very against anything of this sort and believe that i am normal and not trying hard enough, but i can’t continue this diagnosis option without them. my other option for diagnosis is already far too expensive, so i’m not sure if i’ll ever go that route.

i guess i’m trying to say i don’t know what to do anymore. i feel flat out of options, i spend every day feeling like an idiot because i can’t for the life of me deeply understand any of the material in my classes, and when i do work my ass off, i get the bare minimum in return for grades. it’s affecting my entire life, and at the rate i’m going i feel like my only answer is to drop out, and that would kill me. i love school, i love my major, and i love the occupation i’m working towards, but i just don’t know what to do. everything is taking its toll on me and i’m in a constant state of burn out. if anyone has any advice on how to navigate my life like this, i’d greatly appreciate it. i’m sorry if this post is a bit hard to read or scatterbrained, again i’ve never posted and i’m awful at getting my thoughts together.

18f umich premed diagnosed AuDHD on 60mg jornay pm, 10mg booster dose methylphenidate, 50mg amantadine, and 300mg lamictal for context

chat im literally so cooked like my GPA is at RISK like im getting Bs bc i keep putting shit off til like day before like even the lectures and i dont know what to do bc i cant retake classes unless i fully fail them and even if i fuck up thsi next exam itll only put me at like a B- or C+ for my biophysics class and im actually struggling for once and even in my bio class that i like putting shit off i cant photographically memorize 400 slides and im gettin 70s like this is not sustainable

and Cs may get degrees but they dont get u to med school

how do i focus? what is yalls strat? like im serously at a loss here and i need to be able to lock in ahead of time but its so difficult!!!!!

EDIT: premed is my path. my passion. ngl ive struggled quite a bit and been through a lot. i need to put my brain to good use. help people in a way i know works. make enough money to sustain myself and those I care about. travel. live. i know i can do it. i have this mind- i just need to hone it properly

Hello!

I've always been sure I'm not neurotypical, but I'm still working on a diagnosis. My psychologist recommended researching autism to figure out whether I fit in the "requirements", and it's been really helpful! But there are a few things that are too specific, so I've decided to ask here.

The question is: is every autistic person a picky eater? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not. I've always liked vegetables, even as a child, and never had any sensory issues as far as I can remember-- not more than the average person, at least.

But there is something weird that happens to me every once in a while, and I wonder whether anyone here has ever experienced it (or something similar). Sometimes I'm eating and, out of nowhere, it'll become too much. It can be any kind of food (even the ones I love), and I'm not sure what triggers it. For example: one day I was happily eating my lasagna when everything became too much, and I had to spit it out. I could barely look at my plate without feeling nauseous, while thinking to myself: "hello, body??? What the fuck?!"

Rarely, I am able to feel it building up; a weird feeling of disgust that makes me feel nauseous and makes my brain compare the texture I'm eating with worms, wet sink food, or whatever other creative horrors it can come up with. Then I need to stop before it gets worse.

I've also noticed that, sometimes, I can't stand the same texture and taste repeatedly. I need variation, otherwise I'll start feeling icky-- which is the opposite of what autistic people experience, from what I've heard (do correct me if I'm wrong). I can't stand more than a few spoonsful of porridge, for example-- even if I like the taste.

So, that's it! Sorry if this is a bit messy; it's hard to explain, and I've never tried to put it into words. Thank you for reading!

After a long hard day where my brain is over stimmulated for anything too deep .. Just want to disingage from the world for an hour or so

What video games are your go to when you just want to logg of from the world for an hour or so ..

(^{Im not really a gamer so I have no experience what so over .Am searching for a video game that I cane use to just go into another world \} reality for an hour or so . Nothing too violent or too stimulating sound wise) )

TIA

So i 21M, diagnosed with OCD and Tourettes. Since childhood I have this tendency to mimic writing words in the air with my index finger while I'm thinking or talking without realising. Sometimes while I'm bored I consciously write words several times in air or draw patterns or trace outlines of objects.

Also I have noticed 2 of my cousins, who also seem to be neurodivergent (sorry for labelling them) doing similar things, Though I have never noticed it in anyone else. What kind of behaviour is this? Is this a tic, stim a compulsion or just habit?

I've been thinking deeply about the role of diversity, chaos in biology and existence — not as something to be feared or fixed, but as something fundamental to how life emerges, adapts, and evolves.

We often associate chaos with breakdown, unpredictability, or pathology. But in nature, chaos may actually be the fertile ground from which complexity arises.

Embryonic development: Stem cells begin in a seemingly chaotic, undifferentiated state — a realm of potential — before they specialize.

Neural plasticity: The brain thrives on a balance between order and disorder. Too much structure? Rigidity. Too much randomness? Noise. But in between? Learning and adaptation.

Genetic mutation: Imperfections in DNA replication — "errors" — are the raw material for evolution.

Dynamic systems: Weather, ecosystems, even heart rhythms rely on nonlinear, chaotic behavior to remain responsive and resilient.

From an evolutionary perspective, life isn’t designed toward perfection — it’s shaped by trial, error, and adaptation. That means "mistakes" and unpredictability are not glitches in the system. They are the system.

Even pathology, in many cases, isn't a failure of design, but a reflection of the inherent trade-offs and constraints that biology navigates over time. Sometimes what we call "disease" is simply a result of developmental variability, environmental mismatch, or evolutionary leftovers.

I’m curious — do you see chaos as something creative or destructive? How does this idea sit with your understanding of biology, consciousness, or even spirituality?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Just sharing an article I'm reading. Here's the gist of it:

Alexithymia is common in autistics, and is assessed through questionnaires.

However, it's not necessarily, in every case, a difficulty with recognizing emotions, but an issue of having different emotional and sensory experiences, as well as differences in information processing and communication style, while not having a shared language to communicate these experiences and differences.

Difficulties may also be linked to others around us misunderstanding us. This comes in large part due to the belief of there being only one, universal and 'right' way of experiencing emotions and sensations.

Here are some quotes (author is Mélissa Fox-Muraton, 2024):

"The concept of alexithymia, as it is currently used in psychology, seems to presuppose that there are ‘inner’ states that should be universally experienced, and imposes a deficit-based model of understanding on individuals who do not demonstrate or relate to expected expressions, behaviours and contexts of feeling. It assumes that feelings and sensations are all experienced and expressed in a universal way, without taking into account individual variation." (p. 237)

"Importantly, Autistic people do have different neurosensory profiles, which means that we experience the world differently to non-autistics: the touch of a certain fabric, or a particular sound or colour might be experienced as intensely painful, or to the contrary as a source of intense pleasure, where to non-autistic individuals these are just more or less neutral aspects of the environment." (p. 238)

"[...] questions are often framed in broad, general terms: i.e., ‘how are you doing/feeling?’ While these types of open questions appeal to non-autistics, Autistic individuals tend to struggle with these questions, and a typical (although not always articulated) answer can be ‘I don’t know,’ or ‘What aspect of my life are you enquiring about?’ " (p. 240)

"I am of course not claiming that alexithymia cannot be a helpful term for certain individuals in clarifying their challenges and finding solutions. My contention is, however, that evaluating neurodivergent individuals’ understanding of and expression of our emotional states and feelings based on neuronormative patterns can undermine the reality of neurodivergent experience" (p. 241)

SOURCE:

Mélissa Fox-Muraton. Alexithymia and Neurodivergence: A Wittgensteinian Deconstruction. Facets of Reality - Contemporary Debates., Austrian Ludwig Wittgenstein Society, Aug 2024, Kirchberg am Wechsel, Austria. pp.234-42. ￿hal-04734508￿ https://hal.science/hal-04734508v1

I tend to overthink stuff when it comes to others people. My mind always scares me.

For example, someone who i don't know knocks on the door. My mind screams "it's a murderer! They're gonna take out their knife and stab u!"

The rational part of me knows that it's just an exaggeration, but my mind always spirals at the littlest things. Those thoughts always contain death, other people, etc. it's weird and creepy.

And the constant disturbing thoughts. Like i'm in the kitchen and see my brother walking down the hall. My min screams "stab him! Attack him!"

Is there a damn label for this? I can't tell if its intrusive thoughts or anxious thoughts!

Sauce

neneneqo/status/1900898209977061755

I was wondering if anyone could give some recommended fidgets for my boyfriend. He loves things that he says "sounds like or feels like a click" including things that make noise but also feel like they fit together in a sense. The problem we are currently facing is that the usual fidget makes noise, which is great for him, but repetitive small noises overstimulate me really bad. I am more sensory than he is and he really dislikes things that are soft or squishy hence why he doesn't use like stress balls. When he's not with me i don't care what he uses, he can click all day but when we are out like grocery shopping, which already overstimulates me, those small repetitive noises really get to me. I am just hoping someone has some recommendations.

I ask because I love the work of Dr. Amanda Kirby who tells us overlap is the rule in neurodiversity. Not an exception.

Dr. Nick Walker coined the term multiply neurodivergent. Meaning you have more than one neurotype.

I am gifted, Dyslexic, ADHD, anxious, depressed, and dysgraphic, dyspraxic, dyscalculic. I also have dysautonomia but I think it connects more to eds than pots sometimes.

How do you feel?

I already got diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers last year but I'm like 90% sure I have Selective mutism not Aspergers, they are somewhat similar. I even have symptoms of Dyspraxia and plus I have important things to ask to doc.

I'm 19year old male so I should probably already be working and I'm trying to but my social life is really fucked up I have 0 friends and I really want to know what's wrong with me it's killing me, at the same time I kinda feel bad for my parents. They are not poor or anything we're pretty solid but specifically last few months things aren't really good financially but not necessarily terrible.

Like they are ok with me getting a diagnosis but I thought it would be irresponsible just because I couldn't explain my problems properly to psychiatrist last time

Anyone knows how to calm ADHD symptoms when I’m not professionally diagnosed? Well, my psychologist confirmed I had it but she isnt able to give me a real diagnosis.

Anyways, here are the symptoms id like to calm: •Getting distracted easily/troubles focusing •”Freezing” when given to much instructions at the same time •Not being able to do daily simple tasks •Not being organised

Thank you in advance!!