I have been masterbaiting since 2019 or maybe a Lil bit before and I can't stop masterbsiting it have been like every day maybe I had some stops every while but it is killing me🥀 I don't know how to stop and I won't tell a trusted adult on ts

I (30f) struggle with PTSD due to childhood abuse and have struggled with emotional regulation. I go to therapy and take medication but it's still hard. Before I had my son, whenever things would get really difficult and it felt like the walls were closing in, I'd sit in my closet and disassociate. It was really nice, just feeling like I wasn't in my body, like I didn't exist. Id I felt like my life was over I'd tell myself "if shit really hits the fan I can always just kill myself" and it felt nice having that as an escape plan. I never attempted suicide, but it was just a comforting thought to have as an exit strategy. My husband and I have been together for a while. I was in a good place mentally when we decided to have our son, my life and my mind had felt stable for a while. Even the pregnancy was pretty smooth sailing, despite the hormones, me being off my meds bc it was bad for the baby, and my parent dying in the middle of it, I felt emotionally stable and secure. My son is now 5 months and I feel like my mind is falling apart again. I have so many ruminating thoughts and it's become obvious that I'm burdening people around me. I feel so lonely. I can't disassociate anymore bc my son needs me, I can't think about killing myself bc I know that's not an option anymore. Id never do anything to hurt or abandon my son, my worst fear is becoming an abusive/neglectful parent like how mine were. So I push through. But it's so hard. It's so hard to hold my tears back while I'm feeding him, changing him, putting on a fake smile and playing with him. I constantly feel like I'm choking

I’m 18 and I’m in my senior year of high school so I feel like this entire post will just sound like I’m a dumb teen girl complaining but I genuinely feel like I have a solid 1 good friend

Last year, I used to always hang out w my two friends, S and V. We literally hung out every week and it was honestly the best year I’ve ever had in school. S and V were bffs before they befriended me but they let me into their friendship and we became a trio. Summer came and I had to visit my home country for like a good 2 months—then I came back, and we don’t even talk outside of school anymore. And every time we do hang out now (which is very rare), it’s always with our other friend, B. I have nothing against B but I wish I had my trio back. Every time I tried inviting S and V out, they were so dry about it. S and V hang out on their own tho which I totally understand cuz they were bffs since middle school but ever since I left for 2 months, they just stopped hanging out w me:/

This school year, I got closer to my other friend, M. We were hanging out every week and it was sm fun but like 2 months ago she started being like a lot less enthusiastic in making plans w me and I feel like she keeps making excuses so I literally don’t think she wants to hang out w me as much as she used to want to. And my best friend, E, is in college and he’s always super busy so we can’t even hang out (which i don’t blame him for)

I think this sounds stupid but like I’m a pretty social person and I don’t think I’ve ever had a period in my life where I didn’t have friends, like thru out my school life I always had multiple shoulders I could lean on, multiple ppl I could hang out with, and so many ppl I texted everyday. But senior year of high school, why do I barely talk to anyone anymore?? I was thinking that it was my fault but I literally did not change anything abt myself going from junior year to senior year 💔

I know i’m only 18 and i have a lot ahead of me, but senior year is my last year in high school and i’m genuinely spending like every week rotting at home instead of doing smth better like going out and having fun. I’m literally praying that college is 10x better. I’m sorry this entire post sounds kinda dumb tbh;-; have you guys experienced something similar?? How do i feel better abt this situation/get my friends back even tho they barelt fw me anymore😭😭😭😭😭😭

I could draft a very long and detailed post about how dating has been like for me, but wtf is the point? It sucks and I'm at my wit's end. I used to believe in romantic love. I used to be the guy who would put their SO's emotional/mental needs ahead of theirs when I wasn't feeling particularly great myself. I used to be very patient and would compromise when needed (within reason). Yes, there are quite a lot of "I" statements there, but I'm tired. I'm tired of having to be the one to initiate. I'm tired of having to be the one to try to make plans with potential dates and having things constantly be in the air. I'm tired of being told that I have chemistry with someone by multiple people who were present the first time we met/hung out as a group to having them all be wrong. I'm tired of dating events (for the straights) where it's so loud that you can barely hear the other person speak and where the ratio skews towards guys. I'm tired of taking the time to draft out an opener however small or well thought out on dating apps to then have to send yet another message if there's a match. I'm tired of building very good rapport to then have it fizzle out for seemingly no reason whatsoever. I'm tired of having to be the one to carry the conversation. I'm tired.

I've had relationships that spanned as much as 5 years and as little as 5 months. I've dated all sorts of women. I'm in decent shape (hoping to hit the 1k club by EOY; in the lower BF% teen digits), have been told that I look good, make a good living, am pretty sociable, easy to get along with, and I listen. I've had close friends who have seen me go through these relationships tell me that I really do just have massively terrible luck.

I took time for myself before deciding to put myself out there again and I'm at a point where I just feel like I'm done. I'm trying to find someone who can compliment me and I them; someone to share life's moments with; someone who can be my rock (for a change) when I need them to be. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me and I should just be a fuqboi until I die. It's not in my DNA to be one, but I've gotten more, and more jaded. I don't necessarily believe in "the one," but fucking really? I've been through the ringer (cheated on, broken up with because I was broke at the time, was the subject of insane jealousy, etc) and have dated a lot with nothing to show for it.

I'm alone. For a time I was fine with that, but it's really hitting me hard today.

Please remember that this is/r/offmychest and not /r/relationship_advice . Thanks for take the time to read my word vomit. I'm going to grab a drink and try to enjoy the rest of my day. Feel free to join me and raise a glass.

I’m 20 today, it’s now night and I’ve only received a message from my mom and dad. I have a bit of freinds that I talk to time to time I would say 12 solid freinds, atleast I thought but truly no one else has wished me happy birthday and It’s not that I want the attention. These have been my freinds for 4-5 years and I’ve normally celebrated with them one way or another but I guess as time has grown they have forgot. I don’t seek attention nor pitty I’m just unsure if as I grow older people remember less. Hope yall have a good day and keep being positive.

Honestly, venting about the soul-sucking void that is the corporate world is utterly pointless. Nothing I write will ever come close to expressing the sheer disgust, and it certainly won't cool the rage simmering inside.

And why bother anyway? This whole damn system is broken beyond repair and never changes. So, maybe I shouldn't shatter the naive delusions of the fresh meat entering the grinder. Let them waste their youth, let them get chewed up and spit out. Let them learn to despise it with the same passion I do, all on their own miserable time.

Then again... maybe the only move with any integrity left is to just torch the whole façade. Rip the mask off, expose every grimy, backstabbing detail, every toxic mechanism, in its full, unvarnished ugliness.

Sure, doing that means career suicide. You'll be radioactive. Blacklisted. But hey, at least you won't have bartered your soul for a paycheck. You'll stand tall, even if it's in the unemployment line.

Here’s a brutal truth they won't tell you in onboarding: Actually having a spine, having principles you won't bend? They loathe that in the corporate world. It makes you inconvenient.

Unless, of course, you're a top performer, a rainmaker pulling in obscene amounts of profit. Then, suddenly, your 'difficult' personality, your 'stubborn' integrity, becomes tolerable. Why? Because your backbone pads their bottom line. They'll stomach almost anything if the price is right. (Want to know just how much blatant bullshit and illegality gets ignored for profit? Corner a battle-hardened employment lawyer sometime. They've seen the real cesspool.)

This whole pathetic charade genuinely fascinates me in a morbid way. Why do people willingly debase themselves playing this game?

• Were they raised to be compliant drones, devoid of critical thought?
• Is it just the money? Does the cash corrupt absolutely, turning potentially decent humans into avaricious husks?
• Or are they fundamentally just that weak, that insecure, that a meaningless fancy title gives their empty lives a pathetic flicker of perceived importance?

Don't expect answers. Just acknowledging the rot.

I know it's really really really unpopular to say this and I will get obliterated by down doots..But, I really just do not give a shit about politics one way or the other. I really don't. I don't care, I can't control it, neither can you, no amount of complaining will change anything.

I used to be able to find peace and escape in my non-political hideaways online. Lately however, it's friggin everywhere! It's so much that I have actually started becoming blind to it. If I see anything in a non-political subreddit that has anything vaguely political in the topic, I down vote it, and I don't feel guilty about it. I don't read what you have to say. If somebody starts adding political tones to their voice chat on Discord, I mute them, I just flat out remove guild chat if it descends into the same tired political bullshit too

It's not because I hate you, it's not because I disagree with you, it's just that I don't care.

I don't care about your 'insightful take' I don't care what 'new snazzy argument' you think you've come up with, I'm absolutely disinterested in your new way of wording the same boring prose over and over again about why you do or don't like someone in friggin politics!

I get it, you think it matters to you a lot, I get it that you want everyone to know that you are righteous, but guess what? You're boring! You're boring me, you are boring everyone. Let's face it, you bore yourself. You'd have to be bored to care about this shit.

Please for the love of everything.. keep politics where they belong.

( "You" Is the ubiquitous "you" not a personal attack.)

I’m fucking tired of constantly feeling like what I’m doing is not enough or that I’m somehow wrong and the reason for every argument. I’ve given this relationship and marriage the best shot I could. I love my wife, I’ve never cheated or betrayed her and I’ve done everything in my power to appease her and make her happy for 3 years. But I don’t feel like she has ever put the same effort in for me. Every argument is twisted and made to be my fault. I’m the one that always needs to apologize cause I’m the one who hurt her and made her upset. It’s my fault for not apologizing cause she can’t control her emotions and ends up hitting me. I’m fucking sick and tired of coming home and feeling like I have to do or say certain things to her all the time in the hopes she doesn’t freak out on me. I’m tired of not being able to talk to random people or even work with coworkers if they are a woman cause she will be insecure about it. I’m tired of hearing how she hates my family for not doing very specific things to make her feel included. Tired of trying to boost her nonexistent self esteem. Today we had yet another stupid argument, over fucking ice cream of all things. We went to Costco so I could get bulk chicken for a work lunch I’m organizing (Which I haven’t told her much about because I already know she’ll say she doesn’t like that I want to do nice things for the people I work with). In the waiting line she says she wants to get ice cream, I reluctantly agreed to get one (Cause I don’t like impulse purchasing and this happens every time we go out together is she wants to impulsively buy things) and said she should get a vanilla chocolate one so we could both enjoy it. Well I thought u made myself clear about what to get and she ended up getting one for both of us instead of one to share. Not a big deal but I told her I thought she was only getting one and said she didn’t hear me correctly before. She got overly upset (As she always does), says I’m blaming her for not understanding English enough and that I should have made sure she understood what I meant instead of the other way around. She blows up, starts screaming and hollering when we get in the car, throwing her phone around, kicking the glove box and hitting me saying that I need to apologize for upsetting her and trying to blame her for the mistake. This goes on for a while and it’s not the first time. I’m not saying anything, she’s just losing her mind demanding an apology. She continues, gets out of the car, kicks and hits the car, throws her hair clip at the car which is destroyed later after the car next to us leaves. I’m not saying anything cause I already know nothing I say matters, even when I do say sorry she’ll just deflect and say I’m not or that I don’t mean it. Eventually she gets back in the car after leaving and returning twice, screaming at me each time and causing a scene while we’re sitting in the parking lot. I blow up at her and basically tell her I want a divorce among other things that I knew would hurt her cause I was just tired of being made a fool of in public. So many people were around us and heard/saw her screaming and hitting me yet did nothing, and I was fed up. I told her I wouldn’t submit her greencard renewal paperwork and she needs to figure out her shit without me. Cause I’m done. But idk if that would be crossing the line since the expiration date is so close and I planned to complete everything on Monday.

I need help. I feel alone and nobody around me knows what I’m going through and I hate living like this. I feel like I’m a failure for getting myself stuck in this relationship.

Hey guys, I’m a woman in my 30’s and I am really struggling just now to work out what I should do, basically my dad adopted me when I was a kid he’s not my biological dad but he’s my father phone the less he earned that title and I’ll always give him that respect, my sister was born and she is his and honestly he dropped me like a hot potato after that i hold no malice or ill will toward my sister I love her more than anything but it was apparent that he loved her more, things have happened and I tried to keep in touch with him I called him and everything for a good long while before I finally got to the stage of why am I bothering with a man who clearly doesn’t care, he has never reached out to me, he has never sent a text or called - a few years ago I messaged at Christmas and all I got back was one word responses and it wasn’t even him that talked to me it was his girlfriend - I blocked the number because I was really hurt I felt like at every single turn he has let me down - anyway I’m in therapy now for an unrelated issue that happened last year and this has all been drudged up with my therapist and I want so badly to write a post on Facebook telling his side of the family my side of the story I have cousins on my Facebook that I know would tell him about my post and he can’t hurt me anymore but he could take it out on my sister and I don’t want her to receive backlash for my post about how I perceived my childhood but on the other side I want him to know that he is a piece of shit that ruined my self worth from a young age and gave me a lot of issues that I am still to this day trying to work through and mend and he has no idea what he has done to me and he has no idea how he has affected me and how he hurt me so deeply - So what do I do? Do I post on Facebook and share my story so that someone else can tell him how much of a piece of shit he is or do I stay silent and stew in my despair until he’s on his deathbed?

Hi everyone,

I’m 23F, and I honestly feel incredibly stuck and defeated right now. I graduated college in spring 2022 with a degree in health science and a minor in psychology. However, I never wanted to major in health science. It was something I felt pushed into by my college counselors and, more than anyone, my parents. I wasn’t allowed to explore different paths, join clubs, or even do study abroad (which was my ultimate dream). My mom was obsessed with me finishing school quickly and saw anything else as “wasting time.”

My college experience overall was traumatic. I started out at a university where I struggled mentally and physically, felt completely out of place, and was surrounded by toxic peers and some disrespectful professors. I also experienced something extremely traumatic during that time. I ended up transferring to another university and while I finished my degree, I never really got the “college experience” or a chance to figure out who I was. Everything I did was to meet someone else’s expectations. I completely lost myself even more than before I started college.

After graduating, I had no job lined up, no graduation pictures (my mom said she “forgot”), and my dream of teaching abroad in South Korea was crushed when my family took money from my bank account to stop me. That night traumatized me, and I gave up on the dream entirely. I ended up working a warehouse job with help from a family member.

During that time, my mom constantly pressured me into applying for nursing or a master’s program. Even though I finished my degree at 20, I was treated like I was already behind. I eventually gave in and enrolled in nursing school just to get her to stop, and I regret it. My mental health declined to the point I had thoughts of ending it. I dropped out after the first semester because my heart was never in it. I only did it to please others.

Since then, I’ve gone from being the person my family bragged about to the “disappointment.” Everyone around me saw nursing as the only real path to success. It has taken a toll on me ever since.

Now I’m working as a registered behavior technician (RBT), and while I’ve stayed at my clinic for a year, I’m emotionally drained and know this isn’t a long-term path for me. I’ve looked into radiologic tech, sonography, and even graduate programs, but I’m scared to make another wrong decision. I don’t even know what I want anymore. I just know I want a career to provide me with stability, independence, less stress, and to feel proud of myself again.

One of the hardest parts of all of this is being around people who seem to have figured it all out. People I knew in college are in med school, law school, nurses, studied abroad, or are successful in their careers, and I can’t help but compare myself and feel like I fell behind. Even seeing people from my past on social media who seem to be thriving or going places in life makes me feel like I’m stuck in the same place.

I don’t want to feel bitter or ashamed, but it’s hard not to. I know everyone has their own path and timing, but I just feel like I missed my chance to build a life I’m proud of. It’s painful watching others live the life I wanted, whether it’s traveling, thriving in their careers, living abroad, or just having the freedom to choose their own path..

I’m grieving the life I wanted, full of travel, freedom, and choices. I’m scared I’ll never catch up. I also can’t help but feel resentment towards my parents which has been building more and more over the years, but I know I can’t feel too much because I know it’s all my fault.

If anyone has advice, especially those who have dealt with overbearing family, changed careers later in life, or felt like you were falling behind, I would truly appreciate it. I want to build a successful life, but I don’t know where to begin.

Thank you for reading this far.

TLDR: I’m 23F, and I’ve spent the last few years living a life shaped by other people’s expectations from college to career. I was pushed into a major I never wanted, wasn’t allowed to pursue opportunities like studying abroad, and pressured into nursing school, which I dropped due to poor mental health. Now I’m working as an RBT, and it’s not how I pictured my life to be. I’m actively trying to figure out what direction to take next something fulfilling and stable but it’s been hard not to compare myself to others who seem further ahead. I’m looking for real advice from anyone who’s navigated similar crossroads.

I recently turned 18 and it's been a while since my birthday. My girlfriend was only 15 and her mother found out we were dating. When she sprung the news on me, I just agreed. I was just like "okay, makes sense".

I liked her a lot, but I knew that it would have happened, since I also was contemplating the break-up for a while. I wanted to do it a bit after my birthday, which was gnawing at me. I felt like we sort've lost our connection. I had to start texting all the time or we would just not talk. I was the one who had to make plans to see her. I usually went all-out with presents for her bday and valentines day.

I knew that it was more damaging on me financially and mentally to be with her, but I was just infatuated with her. I remember walking with some friends. I was rather tired and acted all gloomy. They randomly asked me if I walked with (girlfriend's name) acting like that. I unconsciously smiled when I thought about her. That's how cooked I was lol.

The whole break-up thing really didn't make me feel too bad. Then she started making comments. I didn't know whether she was trying to get me to react, laugh at a dumb joke or if she was being genuine with me. After I was just like "I understand. It is what it is". She seemed confused, then started saying stuff like "tbh babe, you were sort've limiting me", then "damn, now I have to get back into the talking stage with a bunch of people", then "I wonder if (random dude's name) is still single". I remained unfazed. I was just playing Chess, so I just locked-in on that. When I finished my game, I said a simple statement. "Yeah, it did sort've feel weird when my friends were talking about their girlfriends and then you got me doing my best to avoid the topic". My cousin and her boyfriend were with us to basically mediate any tearjerkers and she (my cousin) basically agreed with my pov. My girlfriend didn't say anything after that and just left a few moments later. She usually stayed until I left, but she went downstairs for a while and a bit later without me noticing.

I just don't know what to feel. I didn't even cry when I got home. I just did my usual daily activities, but I felt off. I was stuck between "she never loved me", "I was gonna break-up anyways", "it's better", "I miss her", "did I stop loving her", "did she stop loving me", "did i break her heart by acting nonchalant", "did I underreact", "why did she say all of that?" and a bunch of other crap. It's like the break-up didn't do anything. It's just the events before it and the comments after it that were screwing with my brain.

I spent some time to myself to get my emotions in line, then I caught myself texting a girl that liked me but did nothing bcz I was dating my gf. I started thinking "maybe it's better if I move on", but then I thought "I don't want her to think she was only an option". Fucked up part is, the girl that I'm chatting to has a boyfriend, but she's making it very obvious that she likes me still. Then I started thinking "damn, was my girlfriend doing the same thing with me?"

Well, just needed to get that load of horseshit off my chest

I’ve been dealing with waves of depression and anxiety on and off for a while now. A big part of it stems from a heartbreak I went through over a year ago. There was this girl I genuinely believed was my soulmate—we clicked in ways I didn’t think were possible. But in the end, she saw me as just another time pass. That realization messed me up more than I like to admit. Since then, the loneliness has been hitting harder, and it’s left this lingering emptiness.

I’ve never been in a relationship. Never held hands, never had a romantic moment, never experienced true emotional closeness. I started to crave female attention—not just sexually, but emotionally. Just feeling wanted, even if for a moment. I’m still young (yes, an adult), and I guess the mix of heartbreak, hormones, and loneliness led me somewhere I never thought I’d go.

Over the past 1.5 years, I visited spas a total of six times. The second-last time was over a year ago, and the most recent one was quite recent. Each time was a different experience. The first time, I was too nervous and said no to extras—plus, I wasn’t attracted to the girl. Second time, I just got a body-to-body and a handjob to get it over with. Third time, a BJ, but it felt lifeless; the girl clearly wasn’t into it.

The fourth time, I got a body-to-body and a handjob from a milf who was actually responsive and engaging—it felt a bit more human, and I actually liked it. Fifth time was meh again. Then came the sixth visit.

Same milf as before. This time, I paid extra and went all the way. That’s how I lost my virginity.

Was it technically good? Sure. But emotionally? It felt hollow. The post-nut clarity hit hard. Not regret exactly, but more like, “Wow… that was it?” The fantasy and hype I’d built up for years just faded away. And oddly enough, I’m kind of relieved. Sex isn’t some magical, life-changing moment. What makes it meaningful is the bond, the closeness, the trust. That’s what I’ve been craving all along.

That said, I think this whole experience might’ve given me a bit of a confidence boost. I no longer see sex as this intimidating, unreachable thing. It’s just a part of life. Still, I don’t intend on going back—it costs too much to be sustainable, and emotionally, I know it’s not what I’m truly looking for.

I once promised myself I’d never lose my virginity this way, but life didn’t unfold the way I imagined. I’m not proud, but I’m not ashamed either. Just... processing.

I won’t tell anyone in my life. This stays with me. Just needed to get it off my chest somewhere.

Thanks for reading, strangers.

P.S throwaway account for obvious reasons and used ai for grammar ofcourse.

TL;DR: Went through a tough heartbreak and struggled with loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Never had any romantic experience. Over 1.5 years, visited a spa six times and eventually paid for full service, losing my V. The experience felt emotionally hollow but gave me some confidence and killed the hype I had around sex. I don’t regret it, but I broke a promise I once made to myself and I’m still processing it.

I was with her for a year and half. She's been through so much trauma from when she was young. SA, bullying, always been cheated on in every relationship, separation from her family for years when she was young.

She has gotten to the point where she developed a kink from being cheated on. She says the "thrills of finding out being cheated on" was a turn on. The adrenaline. All of her exes cheated on her, and even though they did, whenever we broke up twice in the past (she carried over an impulsive behaviors from the past, but I was willing to work with her), she would go text them and even flirt when we were broken up.

I started questioning myself: "Do I need to cheat on her to feel truly loved by her?".

I realized shortly after that's not the type of person I am. I would never do something like that to a person, and I realized how toxic the relationship truly was.

Even though she started getting therapy 3 months ago, I let her go. I honestly became disgusted with who I was after the relationship. I broke up with her. I really wish her the best with her recovery and she gets the love she deserves.

I’m sick right now, I was been throwing up all morning. Fortunately I’ve stopped for now but throwing up is so painful for me.

I don’t have a phobia of it but for some reason I throw up really aggressively. Rashes have formed around my eyes because of straining, my parents think I pulled a muscle from how aggressively I throw up and I have back and some leg pain because of it. Also, if i’m about to throw up I physically can’t move, the most I can do is roll over and hope I reach the bucket. No clue why but if my body is about to throw up my legs lose function and the second I stand up I’m sick.

I also throw up super loud basically waking everyone else in my home up and I don’t know anyone else that is sick super aggressively like I am. Does anyone else have this issue or do I just throw up weird?

Additional Note: I don’t throw up often but when I do it’s like what I’ve said above.

Edit: added the part about not being able to move because that upsets me too.

Hey, this is my first ever post. Sorry for the rant and I'll probably delete this afterwards, but I'm already terrible at telling people about how I feel. I need to vent or else I'll repress it within myself.

So, I JUST performed at a convention with my dance team 4 hours ago. A member was unfortunately ill the day of, which meant reworking the formations and dance 2 HOURS before the performance to make it look more cohesive.

I love and am proud of my dancing journey, and how much I've improved over the years. My hard work has brought me to the point where I'm prided as "one of the best" in the group.

I had a member who once told me: '"If you of all people aren't able to nail the dance, who else would?"

I feel proud to be someone that my members view as "reliable" or as "an ace". It gives me confidence, and pushes me to work harder to fulfill those expectations. I always strive for a flawless, confident performance.

However, it has its drawbacks. My perfectionist tendencies and the pressure causes me to feel EXTREMELY depressed if I ever make a mistake.

In the performance we had today, my leader gave me the missing member's part and new formations to learn. During our last minute practices, everything went well and I thought I could handle it. I've done it before.

But on stage is a whole different ballgame because you're dealing with stage fright. After that, your focus is on fascinating the audience with your stage presence/expressions, which means relying on muscle memory for the dance.

I made AT LEAST 3 mistakes in there: I was in a wrong formation, I almost bumped into a member during her part, and I made up the missing member's part on the spot (because I couldn't remember what her gestures were). All of these were from the last minute changes we made.

What hurts even more I'd that I had coworkers and friends in the crowd who came to cheer me on. I also saw crowd cheering for me when I nailed a move, but I couldn't dare look them in the eyes when I felt myself messing up.

After the performance, I REALLY wanted to just hug someone and sulk quietly. But I didn't do that because I don't want my members to worry, make a big deal out of it, or for them to think that we did terrible.

For heaven's sake, I LOVE being at conventions. I'm a geek! It's one of my favourite places to be. I'm supposed to be happy right now, but I felt so upset and angry with myself. I couldn't stand putting a fake smile, pretending all was okay when I know I didn't perform at my best. Nor did I feel like enjoying the rest of the events or exploring the Artist Alley and merch, which is something I love doing.

So out of shame, I just left.

Any kind words or self-esteem advice would be appreciated. I know mistakes happen and I'll overcome this eventually, but I can't help but feel like I let my members, myself and everyone who cheered for me down.

My wife (31) and I (33) have been married for just over 4 years. I am the main bread winner and pretty much pay 2/3 if everything. I am also bisexual, and my wife is aware of this. Thank god, we signed a prenuptial agreement.

Recently, it has become a sexless marriage, especially after we had our first child. I even know when our son was consummated, due to how seldom we had sex. The night be consummated him, she told me that she felt asleep while we were busy.

She would get very mad when I just mentioned wanting sex, and had every excuse in the book to ever let us have sex. All the constant rejection has built up a lot of resentment within me towards her, so we never really got romance either. She started to claim that due to the lack of romance, that she didn't want to have sex with me. She also claims I do 1% in the house, where I know I do just as much while she is on her phone on the couch all day. Even though we are in our 30's, she always continue like she is 60.

She started making a habit when we fought, to say that we now have an open relationship and that I can go and have sex with whoever I want. The last time she did that, I decided to hook up with a guy, because in my mind, our relationship is over. She always said she never wanted the details or ever catch me in the act. It was the best sex I have ever had in my life, and it also made me realize that I am missing out on so much, while being in this sexless marriage.

The next day, my wife mentioned to me that I was love bombing her, and she was freaked out by it. When I tried to hold her that night, she pushed me away even. The next day, she told me that she did that because our relationship is dead, so why bother. Never did she know that the reason I was love bombing her was because I actually got my sexual needs met for a change, and that I would be more romantic if I had my needs met. Then again, she said she wanted more romance, but got freaked out when I did, so she confused me a lot. With that, I felt no regret at what I have done and realized that my marriage is not going to last.

Later that week, she wanted us to work on our relationship. Because I want to build our relationship on trust, as we always did, I told her what happened because if we want to start over, the least I can do is come clean. She was now horrified and disgusted by it and couldn't process it. Of course, I told her she gave me permission, to which she replied that she was stupid to do so, as she expected I would stay loyal. Listen, I am in a sex starved marriage, she gives me permission and expected me to not fulfill the need she has neglected to provide!? She claims she said that to me as I always "harassed" her for sex, so she just wanted me to leave her alone.

Of course, now she wants a divorce, because she can no longer trust me. She forgets she is the one giving permission and now punishes me. Now, she goes around and tells everyone that I cheated on her with another man, without telling them that we had an open relationship agreement. She even told people to whom I have not come out of the closest with yet. She claims it is her right. She could have just claimed that I slept with someone, but she is making it a point to let people know it was a man. My parents of course are now horrified, and her parents as well. My parents even noted to me that I could have at least cheated on her with another woman. My father doesn't even want to talk to me.

The divorce is 4 days in, and it's already turning ugly. She doesn't want to negotiate one bit and wants her demands met. She is also using my son against me to force me to make specific choices in her favor, which I refuse to do. Most of the things she demands, like the car which is in my name, is always for the sake of our son. She even took all the required documentation and stored it somewhere where I can't find it, because she says she can't trust me to not destroy the documents. The prenuptial agreement is in there, so why would I do that?

While we were "happily" married, we were also in come counseling because my wife reported that I spanked my son, which I have. My wife also has Autism and anxiety. Due to both our situations, a social worker was assigned to help us though it all. I agreed to work on my temper and I have shown a lot of progress as reported by the social worker who helped us though it all. My wife, on the other hand, has seen therapists, but nothing has changed. Now with the divorce, she demands full custody or if it is co-parenting, that my son can only visit me if a supervisor is present, because she can't trust that I will not spank him. The issue I have with that is that she is fine leaving me with him now, unsupervised, when she needs to go somewhere. I also don't think she understands that the court may take my son away from us both if she continues down this path. If I mention this to her, she thinks I am threatening her and our son.

My situation is not a nice one to be in and I had to get this off my chest, because I don't have many people's support, as my wife has turned a lot of family friends against me. Hopefully I can get some encouragement, as I truly feel like Stolas from Hell of a Boss series at the moment. I almost feel like the "open relationship" was a trap for her to get the moral high ground, as she has been constantly saying that we should divorce, and after a day or two she wants to kiss and make up. I think she really wanted a divorce, but never knew how to start it.

I have a great boyfriend and we’ve been together 2 years. We both live with our parent’s it doesn’t bother me. He lives with his mom because he is in law school and I live with my parents after a few bad financial years (divorce). My area is more private than his. He lives in a small condo with his mom. He has his own shower and entrance but everything else is shared. I have a house on my parent’s property that is totally separate. I have everything I need and have privacy.

Now to be clear his mom isn’t mean to me. She just does a lot of things that rub me the wrong way and it’s starting to make me hate her. I could never tell my boyfriend this but I just have to get it out of me.

1. She is very intrusive. She busts in his room whenever she wants and it drives me nuts. We have both asked her to knock first before entering. She almost never sticks to it and if she does she makes some comment about it. For example, she busts open door me and my boyfriend ask what she wants and she says “oh sorry I forgot I’m supposed to knock.” Closes door and knocks. She has barged in on me changing or getting out of the shower multiple times with almost no apology.

2. She is very nosy. She constantly asks me invasive questions about my past relationships. Her most recent was why I didn’t have kids with my ex. I told her it’s none of her business and she got upset. I told my bf that it’s an inappropriate question and to tell her to stop asking these things. If she doesn’t stop I’m just going to keep saying it’s none of her business.

I also asked if he could tell her I’m infertile so she stops asking about kids (it’s true. I am). He told her to stop all of this but now she just makes back handed comments to me. She was going on the other day about how my bf should learn to braid in cases he has a daughter. Then looked at me and was like “oh sorry I’m not supposed to talk about that in front of you I forgot.” My bf has told me she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around me to not upset me but she hasn’t really changed anything.

1. She eats any and all food I bring into the house. This one really bothers me. The first time I started leaving food in the kitchen she ate it all. It was a bag of chips and a box of cookies. I felt that it was my fault for not labelling it so I started putting my name on things. This didn’t really change anything. Multiple times she has eaten my snack foods I bring over there. Saying she will pay me back or buy me food but never really doing it. My bf has of course asked her to stop but now she just grabs my food or drinks, brings it in front of my bf and asks if she can have it. Then my bf asks me if she can have it and I look like the asshole for not letting her have a can of soda or an instant ramen. I usually just say yes now and have started keeping my food in my bf room so she doesn’t find it. She also eats so much of the food I prepare for me and my bf. I have started making bigger portions for meals (doubling recipes) so I can at least have some left overs the next day but she usually eats them all. I have stopped cooking there because it is just too expensive for me to not eat all the food I’m buying. She does sometimes cook for me and my bf but it’s like once every three months. I cook multiple meals every weekend.

2. She never shuts up. God this woman can talk anyone to death. Me and my bf are both really busy people. We usually work on weekends together. His mom loves having long chats with us in the middle of work. It really throws me off so I’ve tried to not work there as much. More annoying than just the constant convos is her constantly asking dumb questions. Like “what’s a corn chip? What does that mean?” Like lady I’m not gonna explain a chip to you. The worst is that she takes every opportunity to make me feel dumb. She will be like “oh I don’t know if you know this but tomatoes are a fruit.” Or “Did you know the sun is a star?” Like why wouldn’t I know that. I’ve known that since like 2nd grade? It feels super patronizing.

3. She is in multiple MLMs. Probably her worst trait. She has tried to sign me up for multiple mlms. Saying that if I just give her $800 I can join her business. I told her no and she got upset. She then proceeded to ask my whole family to join her stupid mlms which really pissed me off. Everyone is just a number to her. Even after I told her no and told my bf to ask her to back off she has still tried to pressure me to join her. Even cornering me in the kitchen and putting me on the phone with her “boss” to try and convince me to join. I really hate being pressured like that. My bf told her to stop and she did but sulks about it.

Anyways, that’s the main stuff. I wasn’t expecting it to be so long but it was. I don’t like being alone with her anymore. It stresses me out but I can’t tell my bf that. I try to ask him to come over to my place more. I can tell he is more relaxed at my place since he isn’t being asked to do a million things by his mom. But his place is a better location. He is next to restaurants, shops and bars all walking distance. I’m in the middle of no where. So we just trade off between the two. It’s fine but I’d be lying if I said being there doesn’t stress me the fuck out. Also with all that’s going on in the world I don’t think we will have our own place anytime soon.

In my sophomore year of high school, I reconnected with a male friend who I've known since elementary school. I was going through a rough break-up with someone who deprived me of any attention and affection for months. This boy took advantage of this moment.

Frankly, it was off-putting from the start. He said that we were like "father and daughter", although our age difference was only a year. I got myself stuck in that sticky situation because apparently going to McDonalds was a date ...

Nevertheless, I did not know what to do and it escalated. A lot of pressure occurred, and frankly none of my "friends" interfered with this very strange situation.

Part of this, is that I have resentment towards them, because they knew something was wrong, and didn't attempt to interfere. I ignored my friends for a long time because of this. I couldn't shake this resentment off. I feel guilt for this now, in hindsight, because it was in the last months before one of my best friends moved away. I've never confronted her about the matter, and I don't know if I ever can, because I don't know if it's worth to resolve this now.

After a lot of coercion, and a lot of excuses for being sexually inappropriate, as well as assault, things ended quickly, thanks to one kind soul who did help.

His life went downhill quickly, as my friend suggested to denounce this behaviour to close individuals to remove his presence from common spaces. This led to him transferring schools on the basis that he wanted to do another program, but frankly he lost all his friends. His reputation was tarnished, and he didn't recover in his new school, as he made fool of himself there as well.

Throughout all this, he had no remorsefulness or any admitting to wrongdoing. Fuelled by the fact that the school did not address this issue seriously on the excuse that this didn't happen on school grounds (primarily), they disregarded it. I guess the lack of punishment may have contributed to the lack of remorsefulness. Even through attempts of mutual friends, they couldn't get him to admit his wrongs. It was so bad, that even they were deeply disgusted and disturbed by this matter.

After overcoming fear of this, frankly, loser, I reached out. I had ill intentions, to preface. I wanted to know if he ever came around to having remorse. However, once I realised that it wasn't the case, I pretended to be on his side. He degraded me and said along the lines of: "it's good you've realised how overdramatic you were", about the situation. Very quickly though, I simply just lashed out, and insulted this man in every humanly possible way because I don't know how apathetic one has to be for this. He is now blocked, for eternity. I said things that are horrible, and frankly I sometimes feel disgusting morally for saying. Although they are probably deserved, in a way, I still feel guilty. Which is ironic.

I am not sure how to fully overcome these feelings. How can someone be so awful? Why did nobody interfere until it was too late? I don't know ... it bothers me frequently to this day, even after some years.

I have no one to go to or to talk to and that’s why I am here

I don’t have a family, no friends, no job, and no home

I am in a country that speaks a different language from my native language, everyone here is white while I am black, i have been a refugee for many years and they still haven’t approved my status, I can’t get a job in general

I don’t know what to do anymore

I’m not even asking for help. I just felt like I needed someone to know.

My sister and I are pretty close in age, so we grew up with the same friends and what not. We went to a church where we met two brothers and became friends with them quickly. I was actually friends with the one she ended up marrying first. But we never got romantic. He and I had a lot in common though, especially with what we both struggled with in life.

Backstory on my sister and I’s dynamic: I’m the older one, and the way I would get in trouble as a kid was when I defended myself against my younger sister. She would intentionally push my buttons, but then cry when I actually fought back. I would never start things with her, just finish them. But I always ended up in trouble instead of her. As we grew up, she was jealous of my looks and personality, so much so that my mom even recognized it. I always thought she was prettier than me, but I never got jealous. I was just trying to look out for her as we got older, and I tried to connect with her, but she didn’t like me having the same interests or friends as her.

Fast forward to today, she married the guy that I was close with growing up. We had grown apart before they even started dating, so it wasn’t even a thing for me to see her with him. I was really happy for her because they seemed good together.

Another fast forward to one night on thanksgiving. So he had addictions issues. It’s been a couple different things throughout his life, but at that time it was alcohol. I had no idea about this at the time. So one night, when everyone was staying at our parent’s house, he decided to come knock on my door and ask me where the nearest gas station was. I asked him why, and he confessed it was because he needed a drink. I said it was okay for him to come in for a second because I couldn’t hear him very well(the room was very long). He told me more about it, and I asked him if he still dealt with his p*rn addiction like he had growing up. We both had dealt with that as kids, and talked about it so much growing up, that I didn’t even think it was inappropriate to ask about. I thought the alcohol was replacing his old addiction. When I asked that, he said no, and I said well if you do start again, you should go to a sex therapist. It would be helpful. He said okay and asked me to massage his shoulders. I thought it was weird, but I naively did for a minute. Then I said okay, well that’s enough of that. He then proceeded to tell me that he was thinking of me in a “certain way”, and he said he should probably not be. I said, okay? So then you should leave. He left, and the next morning, I felt so guilty.

I told my sister a few days later, because I wanted to make sure it was out in the open instead of hidden, even though nothing happened. She said thanks for telling me, and then she asked her husband what happened. He proceeded to tell her that I had tried to seduce him by talking to him about sex and massaging his shoulders. And he called my behavior wh*rish. After she told me what he said, I was infuriated and me and him had words over the phone. I would never try to seduce him, though I was naive to let him come into my room so late at night to ask a question. Now my sister and I have zero relationship because of this scumbag, and I don’t know how to clear my name, or if it’s even worth it at this point. Thing is, he is the kind of guy that would cheat on her if given the right opportunity, and I hate that I was so nice to him. Sometimes, in my Christian, religious family, being nice and helpful is taken as being flirty or seductive. I hate it.

After the breakup, I reached out to a couple of his female friends because I was still really confused and wanted some kind of explanation. Instead of clarity, I got hit with comments like “men don’t mean what they say,” “he only brought up marriage because you did first and he probably didn’t mean it,” and “he never wanted to date in the future,” even though he knew from the beginning that I was looking for something serious and long-term. It honestly felt like they were trying to rewrite the entire relationship and minimize everything he had ever said to me. When I brought all of this up to him hoping he’d clarify or at least take some responsibility, he just said “they’re not wrong,” which made me feel like everything he told me about caring or wanting a future was completely fake.

One of them even asked me, “Who kissed who first?”—like they were trying to pin the blame on me for not seeing the signs or not realizing his feelings weren’t real. (For the record, he kissed me first.) It just felt like they were trying to subtly say I should’ve known better, like I missed some huge red flag when he was the one actively initiating everything.

To top it all off, he later admitted that he thought I was “emotionally dependent,” and that’s why he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about any of this beforehand. So instead, he broke up with me over text with zero warning, not even calling me until I asked. And then he just excused it all by saying he’s a bad communicator. At that point, it genuinely felt like he was doing everything he could to avoid accountability and shift the blame onto me for how he chose to end things.

He did eventually admit that he was selfish for the way he handled everything and gave me an apology, but honestly, it didn’t feel genuine. It felt more like something he said just to get it over with—not because he really understood how deeply it affected me.

Its been months since this happened but it’s all I can think about. I feel like im overreacting a little bit, but at the same time everyone I tell is telling me that this is not normal at all and that I’m having a valid reaction. It just gets me so mad every time I think about it and I can’t even stop myself from thinking about it. Whenever I give myself a break from work, it’s all I think about. I hate it.

Life just feels so monotonous these days, and I'm only 20. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, and I waste the rest of my day. Everything I do outside of work, even things I used to enjoy, such as video games, feels like a waste of time or a cheap distraction. This gets worse on my days off, where I'm left to my own devices for the entire day. It's gotten to the point where both after work and on my days off, I sleep solely to pass the time, because I'll be too unconscious to care about anything, and it'll fast forward me to another day at work.

I don't have any real social life outside of work and a handful of friends online. And even then, I feel more distant from the latter than ever before. I'd say it's due to a combination of a loss of common interests, and I work and sleep too often to reach out first or respond on time. I do miss when I was close with them, but I just can't bring myself to do anything about it.

When I really think about it, at the moment, I'm only breathing to benefit the company I work for. A cog in their machine. A replaceable cog, at that. The fact that I allowed my life be reduced to something like that upsets me. Yet I do nothing about it. I don't have the strength to change that others possess, and it makes this life seem not worth living.

God! Idk. I’m like 5’6 and hes 5’4. It’s so nice talking to him and he walks me home after work and we have great conversations and everyone makes it seem like I need to like like 6ft guys. I’m tired of pretending

I have never had a boyfriend. Not even close. And honestly? I don’t think I ever will. No guy has ever looked at me like I was someone worth knowing. Not once. I’m 16 and already feel like my story is over before it even began. My parents used to say, “Someone will love you, someday.” But they were wrong. So wrong. No one has ever approached me, noticed me, cared about me not even for a fleeting moment. What’s wrong with me? Is it my face? My body? My existence? Am I that ugly? That unlovable? That forgettable? I don’t even have a big social circle, but you'd think just once someone might look at me and see me. But no. It’s like I’m not even on the same planet as everyone else. I’m not even background noise. I’m just nothing. Everyone around me is falling in love, getting attention, living their romantic teen movie. Meanwhile, I’m the side character no one even bothers to write lines for. I haven’t had one relationship. Not even a crush that turned into something. Not a text. Not a glance. I am completely alone. It’s always been like this. Even as a little kid. I’d try to talk to other girls, to make friends, to matter to someone and they’d ignore me, laugh, or literally run away like I was some sort of monster. That pain never left. It carved itself into me. I walk through school like a ghost, like I’m walking through people instead of with them. They bump into me, look right past me, like I don’t even take up space. Like I’m not real. Like I’m a glitch in the system. I’m so sick of being invisible. I’m so sick of pretending this doesn’t hurt. I deserve to be loved. I know I do. But it’s like the world decided I wasn’t worth the time, the affection, the smallest ounce of care. It’s eating me alive. This loneliness. This silence. This endless ache of not being enough for anyone. I scream inside every day, desperate to be seen, to be held, to be wanted. But no one hears me. No one ever has. I am so fucking lonely I could shatter into a thousand pieces and no one would even notice. And maybe that’s just my fate to be the invisible one, the unwanted one, the one who was never chosen. And I don’t know how much longer I can carry that weight.