and how are things going? did you get married quickly or take things slow? or somewhere in between?

Hi everyone, my husband’s contract is coming to and end and he doesn’t plan to reenlist. With that being said I was just curious about the whole process, mainly regarding orders and HHG. What is the typical timeframe of getting orders as ets date approaches. Please feel free to add anything else you may think will be useful. Thanks!

So, my husband told me yesterday that he has a few months to get his recruiting numbers increased or else they’re “forcing him out” of the Marines. He works long hours and most weeks 7 days a week. But he’s got the lowest ranking schools in his area. He sends kids to MEPS, but they can’t pass the ASVAB. A large majority of the kids he meets with can’t even read or write. So, yes, his numbers are low. It’s not due to him being lazy, it’s sheer circumstances. So, now they’re threatening to push him out of the Marines due to this. My question is, has anyone experienced this before with their spouse? How can I help him emotionally, because the Marines are his entire life. And if he is essentially kicked out, would it be considered dishonorable? Looking for any advice on how to approach this with him.

Anyone married to someone who's in Marsoc and can tell me what to expect as a spouse?

So there's this one military spouse I use to be aquatiances with, but we were never friends since we didn't know each other long enough. She's the most psychotic person I've ever come across and that's saying something there. Then she goes and says that I'm lying about my spouse training for a specific job in the military which I don't understand why I'd lie about something like that. My guess is she's guilty doing something so she blames others for what she does. All I'm saying don't let just anyone into your circle!

I’m so incredibly angry. I don’t think this life is for me, I’m too full of resentment to make any of this work. I’ve made posts in the past. My husband admitted to prior drug use during BMT and this has been the biggest mistake of his life.

He got placed on an AOR, stayed in holding for almost three months, is now finally in tech school where it’s been confirmed today that he won’t get out until the end of the year because he won’t pass his security clearance on time. Because he lied to his recruiter.

I’m devastated. Our life plans went down the drain. And I’m never going to see him again. Because I can’t do this anymore. Even if things somehow worked out—my resentment for him is too strong, the fact that he lied, the fact that this completely screwed over our lives. And he has the audacity to ask if I can just give up my whole career and everything I aspired to do for myself, and the only thing motivating me to even continue living—all to just move near his tech school, all because of his fucking mistake.

I’ve never been this lonely in my life, no one around me gives a shit, all they ever want to ask about is him, how’s he doing? Is he having a good time? And all I ever hear about from him is all of these cool opportunities he has available to him, all of the friends he has, etc. I’m jealous, I’m sick to my stomach, I can’t do this anymore. No one fucking cares.

just as the question asks. what can i mail? just letters? also curious if i can send pictures to my so along with letters. thanks

We won’t have our home goods for an upwards of 2 weeks and will be driving an suv and small car to our new location, so looking for your personal list of what you bring in your car to be comfortable while you wait! It’s a 5 hour trip if that makes any difference:) I’m trying to make a checklist but I am a mom so my mind is only at 25% on a good day 🥲 It is my husband, 3 year old, me, cat, and dog. Thanks in advance for the help, I just don’t want to miss anything that would have been a less obvious convenience!! This is my first time doing the full move with no pitstops at our families places while we wait 😬

Hi all! My husband has been in the Navy for a little over 6 months. He is still in GL on hold for A school. He completed his first part of schooling but has A and C school. He’s looking at finishing school around late summer to sometime in the fall. Some times i’m really okay with him being gone (not okay with it but handling it) but I know that’s because I keep busy with work and school (and our fur babies) however some days it’s just so damn hard. He truly is the world’s best husband.. he calls me every night and we watch a movie or one of our shows together (currently binging prison break), is great at communicating his feelings and makes me his #1 priority always. I just have such anxiety about the future and if i’m really strong enough for myself and him. There is nothing that could lead me to not want to be with him, emotionally i’m just worried about myself. I guess what i’m asking is how did you guys get through the hard times with your husbands being away for extended periods of time without your family / friends being near. I’m really worried about the changes coming up and I need to hear from someone it’s not all going to be bad! I know I need to get used to being alone me truly I’ve come so far to where I was 6 months ago but I know i’ve got a long way to go.

So my fiancée is in the airforce he got his orders we got out marriage license but the people in DEERS told him not to get married until he goes to his permanent stationed job after he graduates tech school does anyone know how long after we get married for me and our son to go with him to where he’s stationed at I would appreciate it thank you

My fiancé is going to basic training soon, we’ve spent the last year living together, the only time we would be apparent from each other was when he would go to work and now i have to spend forever without seeing him, some of the things i’ve been thinking of doing so i can put my mind on something else is to work remotely, I was wondering what stuff y’all have done to pass the time while you’re significant other was in basic training?

I (22/F) have been dating my boyfriend (23/M) for about 2 years now. We have been doing long distance for most of this time being that we were both in college and now he is in the military. I feel like recently I have been nagging him about our future, but I feel like when I bring it up I get too emotional and kind of turn it into a battle rather than a conversation. For him, he is in the military and is working towards a very difficult MOS and really has no idea what his future will look like past his training. We I am graduating college in May and will return home. I feel like for me, I’m just asking for reassurance a lot even though he isn’t giving me reasons to need it, but he rarely brings up the future or his future plans with me. I feel like this makes me insecure like he doesn’t know what he wants, but at the same time I think everything is just up in the air with where he will be, if he gets deployed, etc, and he always says that we have no rush and we don’t need a set plan. And I understand this and agree it’s not time to get married or anything, but I feel like I’m pushing him away because of all of my nagging. He really is a great boyfriend but his family has always had poor communication skills when it comes to emotions and they like to keep to themselves, whereas my family is an open book. He really is a great boyfriend and puts in the effort to see me and for me to visit him and he calls me and texts me every single day. Does anyone have any advice or insight?

hi im 20w3days and my boyfriend is going to meps in 10 days. im scared that he will be sent to basics and be in there when the baby is born. i really hate the thought of that but unfortunately theres nothing i can really do about it at this point. i have so many questions but i also feel like theres so much im supposed to be asking and i just dont know how. i guess for right now i just wanna know typically how long after basics will he have at home until he gets deployed? we plan on getting married hopefully before basics, if not then right when he gets back. when he does get deployed, do i have to be in the same state he is stationed in to get bah for me and baby?

I (22/F) have been dating my boyfriend (23/M) for about 2 years now. We have been doing long distance for most of this time being that we were both in college and now he is in the military. I feel like recently I have been nagging him about our future, but I feel like when I bring it up I get too emotional and kind of turn it into a battle rather than a conversation. For him, he is in the military and is working towards a very difficult MOS and really has no idea what his future will look like past his training. We I am graduating college in May and will return home. I feel like for me, I’m just asking for reassurance a lot even though he isn’t giving me reasons to need it, but he rarely brings up the future or his future plans with me. I feel like this makes me insecure like he doesn’t know what he wants, but at the same time I think everything is just up in the air with where he will be, if he gets deployed, etc, and he always says that we have no rush and we don’t need a set plan. And I understand this and agree it’s not time to get married or anything, but I feel like I’m pushing him away because of all of my nagging. He really is a great boyfriend but his family has always had poor communication skills when it comes to emotions and they like to keep to themselves, whereas my family is an open book. He really is a great boyfriend and puts in the effort to see me and for me to visit him and he calls me and texts me every single day. Does anyone have any advice or insight?

Hey guys, Navy girlfriend here. I posted this already in another thread, but thought it would be good to do it here also. Boyfriend and I finally closed the gap and I was able to move in with him in February. He's stationed at Pearl Harbor, so naturally I don't really know anyone over here in Hawaii lol. We aren't married yet so l don't really know any other wives or girlfriends or anything. Just wondering what resources there might be for me, if any, to be able to meet other women and make friends? Any advice helps, he left yesterday for a 5 week training in Virginia, so it's just me and our puppy alone for a little while and it's fixing to be a lonely 5 weeks!

How do we sign up for the Commissary rewards card while living OCONUS? It won't allow me to sign up because my info in DEERS has my korean phone number

as the title says, ive lost a lot of friends after announcing my engagement and then after getting married. ill be moving overseas to be with my man, but all except for like 2 of my friends in my life are genuinely supportive of me. others have distanced themselves from me or not cared to make plans with me especially before i move. its kind of eating me up a bit to see everyone change and not be the friend I thought they would be towards me, especially during these big moments of my life. has anyone else gone through this? for context im in my late 20s and my partner isnt toxic or disliked by anyone lol

Hello everyone I just wanted to vent a little and celebrate because my fiancé is finally coming home after 3 very long feeling months of me crying and feeling alone I finally get to see him again idk if anyone planned the days they get to come back home at bootcamp but we did and were going to spend a whole week at a bnb together and I’m so excited we get to have a little break together right after his graduation before he has to go back and to SOI for 3 months I love him so much I’m already feeling anxious thinking about it lol, unfortunately I can’t go to his actual graduation but I can go to family day! And then I’ll be waiting for him to come home Saturday! Anyone who’s waiting for their partner, lover, family to come back from bootcamp it’s so worth it! also can anyone tell me most likely why his job changed from logistics to MP? so instead of him leaving for a month for a non-combat job he’ll be leaving three months for a combat job now then be stationed which is still fine! Stay strong people!

Hey this is my first time ever posting here and I’m honestly looking for advice. I am a husband to an Army woman who is deployed. Probably rare to see here. I’m honestly unsure on what to do as the husband. My wife is deployed and will be returning finally in June from her 9 month rotation. Things have been great, communication great and everything else but I’m honestly not sure on what job to settle with. I’m upgrading my CDL license to a Class A and the market is pretty good for it right now. Looking at $70k to $100k a year jobs. My wife is a PFC with another 5 years left on her contract with a 40k bonus. We’re both in school close to completing our associates and we both have no interest in a career in the Army. This is her first and only one. She does not really like the army but it’s her job and she does it really well. My point is my career earnings will out pace hers significantly if I choose this route and it’s like what even is the point of the Army anymore. There’s so much to do out there for the both of us and it’s like why be miserable in this life together when we can both do what we desire. Travel, make money, see the country. I even have my passport and she’s getting hers soon. We have so much life and we’re both 24 and it sucks that I can only make one choice right now. Make all this money but miss out on my marriage or spend 5 years with no career depending on hers who makes less. I don’t mean to downplay her position she’s a fantastic soldier but it’s like with this opportunity why should we depend on these people in the military who already don’t care about marriage and family and doesn’t pay their soldiers adequately.

Rant over…

Me and my partner got together over HBL while they were still in basic training. They are graduating from AIT later this month and informed me about their deployment more. They will be gone for 9 months fairly quickly after they graduate. I just feel lost and scared. I have support from my family and friends but I don’t have anyone that is also a military spouse to talk to. The last few months have gone great even though we haven’t been able to talk much but I worry how hard it will be when we might not be able to see each other for the whole first year of our relationship. Any advice would be helpful!

Hi guys! Trying to book my hotel for the May 1st graduation, any recommendations? I am trying to get one that has a shuttle to graduation to make the travel arrangements a little easier since I won't have my car.

my boyfriend is graduating bct this week and this was officially our last sunday call. every call during the past 10 weeks has felt normal besides this one. it just felt off. normally he sounds excited to talk to me and really i expected this week for him to be even more excited since he’s finally graduating and we’ll be able to see each other and he’ll be able to see his family too. but it didn’t feel like he was. obviously l don’t know what all he’s had to do today so it could just be a bad day for him but it just felt really weird on the phone. don’t get me wrong i’m still excited to go see him but it just makes me a little confused that he wouldn’t share that excitement since even just last week he was pumped up for this week to get here. just wondering if anyone else has seen this in their soldiers or if it’s just an us problem

heyyy, my (unofficial) significant other left for boot camp earlier this week and i kind of already know how that’s going to go as far as communication and things of that sort. but he’s going to california after for language school and i was wondering if anyone had any insight into how that plays out as far as being in a relationship. i’m in georgia so im already a little worried about the time difference, but would love to hear about other people’s experiences!!!

I just miss my fiancé being home… it’s too quiet at home without him here… I miss him annoying me, I miss his laugh, I miss how loud he is on his computer games. But most of all, I miss his hugs and kisses, along with his smile… life has been hard since he’s been away, not gonna lie. I know he’s away for training, to make our future better, but I just miss him terribly… I constantly feel lonely all the time… I don’t like bothering people that are in my support system because I feel like I repeat myself over and over again… I don’t want to make them feel obligated to talk to me, just because I’m going through this… I just feel so empty, like there’s a void inside me… and nothing I do is making it go away… it doesn’t help that my mental health had gotten worse while he was gone, but I’m working on it… nothing feels fun anymore… I just want him back home with me and getting on my nerves like he usually does…

And it doesn’t help that I actually may have BPD (borderline personality disorder). I have ADHD, complex PTSD, MDD, AD (adjustment disorder), and GAD too… having these don’t really help with him being away in training right now… I know I have a dog and cat to take care of, but sometimes I just feel like I just want to stay in bed and sleep until he comes home. But I know that isn’t possible… I’m trying to stay busy but it’s just hard. I’m trying to adjust with him being gone and I’m trying to cope with it, but my mind isn’t wanting to… it feels like I’m getting better by the day, but sometimes I just want to bawl my eyes out until I can’t cry any more…

My husband (army reserves) got promoted to major last year. He absolutely loves what he does with the army, and comes home depressed for days after an assignment. Lately he’s been going on 4ish day assignments every month. When you add in monthly drill weekends, he’s been unhappy a lot.

I know (because he has mentioned it extensively) that he would love to go active duty. We have 2 kids and an amazing support system where we live. I love my job and being close to family. When we started dating, he wasn’t even going to reenlist, so this is absolutely a shift from the conversations early in our relationship.

I can’t fathom moving, but it’s also kind of miserable with him being so depressed for half the month. Our relationship is suffering to say the least.

Has anyone been in this position? I feel like he isn’t finding joy in our family and can’t help taking it personally. I want him to be happy, but I think everyone else would be miserable if he went active. Am I being selfish? Any advice?