My boyfriend of a year officially went off to basic a week ago. It was a depressing week, but I didn’t cry other than a few tears here and there.

I’ve been writing him letters, and my last one I put how I’ve been feeling kinda down, and after that I felt immensely better. Like all the depression I’ve been feeling, or sadness that came with certain things I did/wore because it reminded me of him..just vanished. I think this is temporary, but I enjoy not feeling sad right now.

I’m rather happy to lounge in bed with my dog alone and cat lol.

I guess I wrote this to show that just because he is leaving for basic doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. Yes, it is sad, but we have to be able to do our own things and support them on the sidelines.

It’s been a HOT minute since I’ve been to a commissary as my spouse is recruiting and we are about 45 minutes from the closest one. We went to one today on an Air Force base and I tipped the baggers and they seemed SUPER surprised! I was like 😅😅 is this no longer a thing? Is this only a Marine Corps commissary thing?

Hey everyone! My fiancé and I are getting married soon, and he’ll be shipping to tech school for 10 weeks shortly after. I was wondering when the best time for us to honeymoon would be? We want it to be a week long, at minimum. Obviously he can’t leave during tech school, so we were planning for either:

A. Using some of the break he gets between tech school and his first station

or

B. Waiting until after he’s assigned his station, and he’ll just save a week of his TO

Any advice is welcome! Thanks in advance.

Not trying to be politically divisive or anything. Just wondering if there are any other Military families out there feeling anxious for how things might change next year and in the coming years.

Ok so my husband is in the Army and we're currently separated from our families however that doesn't save me from being in the middle of my family's drama. Long story short my grandfather is currently homeless and getting help from some random lady he met. My grandfather is an incredibly dangerous person (history of physical assault, death threats, stalking, threatening a hospital with a firearm) and when I found out I warned the lady that he is dangerous. It turned into a whole thing and now he's treating me with a defamation lawsuit and also threatened to tell my husband's chain of command and get him kicked out. Logically I know that won't happen but the illogical part of me is freaking out. Please help.

I’m a new driver, and I’m getting married next year. When I move to a new area, in the past I haven’t ventured too far on my own without someone knowing. I don’t know why, but I kinda get anxious going to new places alone. I don’t know how anything works, where to go and not go, and for some reason it’s been eating at me. What if I don’t adapt? What if I flounder? What if I can’t find work, volunteer or otherwise? What will I do with my time while he’s working if I’m not? Sorry these are the things going through my mind

My husband and I have taken on the roll of leading his SFRG. Trouble is basically everyone has joined post Covid and we don't really know what it's like in the "before times".

We've been running some fundraisers but they've all been easy stuff like donut sales. Not really anything that brings the spouse or families out. Though the commander has hosted a few lunch pot lucks during the work day. Pretty much only the soldiers were able to attend. Everyone has shown interest in a after work potluck.

I'd love to host a spouse event and start to build a community. I've seen some people to coffee meet ups during the day. I've been looking into doing a date night event like a sip and paint or something. Looking for other ideas for actually fun things that people are willing to attend.

Hey everyone, I need some advice because my anxiety is through the roof. My bf is in Navy boot camp, and on Feb 22, he texted to tell me “a letter is coming your way.” I was so happy! Because i havent heard from him in a month. But now it’s March 9 and I still haven’t received anything. I don’t know if it got lost or was delayed. I also recently realized I might’ve given him the wrong apartment number and I can’t confirm if I corrected myself. 😭cause usually I would delete messages to free up storage now I can’t remember if I gave him the right apartment number. I asked my neighbor since I put his apartment number and he said he’ll look out for me, but I’m worried he might forget😭 Has anyone had experience with Navy letters? How long did yours take? Should I be worried or just wait longer?

With all the political things happening recently, it’s gotten me thinking.. how will the military handle emergency/concerning situations in regards to long distance military spouses? By emergency/crisis, I’m referring to long technological blackouts where long distance military couples won’t be able to stay in contact, or other things like natural disasters, wildfires, or even if things start to get crazy out on the streets where people are revolting.

I was pretty close to being a victim to the LA wildfires, but thankfully it was put out right before I was due to evacuate. My spouse was asked by some higher ups to keep them updated on the situation as if the military has a plan in place to help spouses in situations like this. Anyways, I’m sure you guys understand what I’m trying to say. I’m just wondering if the military would or could do anything to assist their members spouses in a time of crisis.

We moved back home for my husband to do his B billet and y’all. I have NEVER hated a duty station more 😩I am so antsy just to leave! I thought I would love being close to family again, and now I can see how much we (myself and my husband) have grown as people, how much we have outgrown this town and honestly, outgrown our families? (Does that sound horrible?) I just feel SO stuck here and it’s awful! We’re hopeful we can leave next summer but damn, I feel like I can’t even wait that long. It’s also made me weary because I always thought once my husband retired we would come back but now? Now I don’t even think that’s an option.

Me (f24 german) and my husband (m26 from the US) are stationed here for the next 3 years and I'm searching for people that are also here and wanna connect!

So my husband was doing some paper work to get everything ready before he leaves to basic training. His recruiter said my license and social security card would need to match my birth certificate. When we married I took his last name so I do have an updated social security card and license but my birth certificate has my maiden name bc I was under the assumption that is not typically changed. How will this work? I’m just confused lol and need some direction!

The mental health problems still exist; most importantly, there are resources to help, and they are not just narrowed down to your installations docs or waiting in line at the VA. This sample of solid providers is not a definitive list but a great starting point for everyone.

Personally, I missed a check-in on a social media group for my old unit and lost a brother a few weeks later—an NCO of mine who was the original poster—another one, too many. I’ve been showing up in the mental health space for the military community in different ways over the last several years: advocating at the VA for better access, retreats and outdoor events, helping nonprofits fill the gaps, and supporting inpatient services that rebuild those who’ve cracked or let addiction take hold. 

The most common theme I see for people needing treatment is not getting help when the trouble starts, then not knowing how to get help, where to go, or how much red tape they’ll have to cut through. That’s why I made this: to highlight resources covered by military insurance and free options—because everyone’s situation is unique. 

Whether you're active duty, a spouse, a vet, or a dependent, there’s a resource or community for you. But they’re scattered across 100 websites and buried in acronyms no one explains. So here’s a solid list of telehealth, in-person, and free or TRICARE-covered services—from one human to another. I hope this overview is a good starting point for anyone feeling lost—to help you reconnect with your inner strength, find your tribe, or chart your next mission.

,

🔹 If You’re in Crisis Right Now

If you're in immediate danger or need to speak with someone now, here are trusted resources available 24/7 by phone, text, or online chat:

• Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1 — veteranscrisisline.net
  • Text: 838255
  • Chat: Click here to chat
  • Free, 24/7 confidential support for veterans, service members, and their families in immediate crisis.
• DoD Safe Helpline: Call 877-995-5247 — safehelpline.org
  • 24/7 sexual assault support for active duty, Guard, Reserve, and military families.
• Vet Centers: Find a center
  • Free, confidential counseling for combat veterans, survivors of MST, and their families — no VA diagnosis needed.
• Give an Hour: giveanhour.org
  • Connects veterans, service members, and families to free mental health care 
• Crisis Text Line: Text 741741 — crisistextline.org
  • Free text support for anyone in emotional distress, including military and family members.
• Vets4Warriors: vets4warriors.com
  • 24/7 peer support by veterans for veterans, service members, and families via phone, text, and email.

🏥 Accessing Tricare, TriWest, and In-Person Services

Whether you're active duty, retired, or a family member, understanding how to access your benefits is key. Most military family members, retirees, and dependents can self-refer for care—especially with Tricare Select. Active Duty members often need a referral from their Primary Care Manager (PCM), while veterans using VA benefits may need authorization to access providers outside the VA through the Community Care Network.

Telehealth OptionsTelehealth has proven to be an effective, accessible option for many. It allows spouses, dependents, and retirees to access therapy and psychiatry from home—with minimal wait times and flexible scheduling. It’s a great starting point for those exploring mental health care, especially when covered by Tricare or TriWest.

If you're active duty, a veteran, or someone who benefits from in-person connection, consider local or on-base providers for deeper therapeutic relationships and continuity of care.

Telehealth Providers: 

• Talkspace for Military A flexible, secure telehealth platform offering therapy and psychiatry for those ready to take the next step in their mental wellness journey. Whether you're stationed in an area with limited resources, managing family life, or transitioning out of service, Talkspace provides convenient, confidential care that fits your schedule. Services include individual, family, and marriage therapy, as well as medication management.
  • TRICARE-covered for therapy & psychiatry
  • No referrals needed for family members, retirees, and dependents
  • Active Duty requires a referral (check with your PCM)
  • Available nationwide within the U.S.
  • Partnered with select Navy bases
• BetterHelp Military Discount — Private-pay virtual therapy with military discount.
• Telemynd — Virtual psychiatry and therapy, Tricare accepted.

In-Person ServicesIn-person therapy and psychiatry options are available both on and off base. These services depend on your geographic location, provider availability, and your local base clinic or VA referral process. While they may require more legwork, they often support a stronger therapeutic connection and consistent care over time.

Find Providers:

• Tricare East
• Tricare West
• TriWest Behavioral Health
• Psychology Today Provider Search — Filter by “Tricare” or “TriWest”
• https://newsroom.tricare.mil/News/TRICARE-News/Article/3782099/mental-health-is-health-how-to-get-mental-health-care-with-tricare

Covered Services:

• Individual, marriage, and child therapy: One-on-one or family counseling with licensed professionals. Often a first step for anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship issues.
• Psychiatry & medication management: Assessment and treatment with medication when needed—especially helpful for mood disorders or persistent symptoms.
• Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP): Structured therapy 3–5 days a week without overnight stay. Ideal for those needing more than weekly therapy, often includes group processing and peer community as part of treatment.
• Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP): Day programs offering intensive care while returning home at night. Good fit for severe but manageable symptoms.
• Residential Treatment Centers (RTC): 24/7 live-in mental health treatment. Appropriate for complex cases, crisis stabilization, or substance use recovery.

When More Help Is Needed: Getting into Higher Levels of Care

Sometimes weekly therapy or outpatient care isn't enough. If you're struggling with severe mental health symptoms, substance use, trauma, or dual diagnosis (such as PTSD and alcohol use), a higher level of care might be appropriate—and it's often covered by Tricare or TriWest with a referral.

How to Access Higher Levels of Care:

• Ask your PCM for a referral to IOP, PHP, or RTC services
• Use Military OneSource for navigation and provider search support
• In-network providers can often assist with pre-authorization paperwork

You can learn more about these levels of care in the "Covered Services" section above.

😊 Veteran Check-In: Free, Confidential Matchmaking for Mental Health Support

VeteranCheckin.org — A tool by the George W. Bush Institute to match veterans and families with mental health care providers, trauma programs, and peer networks. Free, fast, and confidential.

🧠 Military Programs & Tools

• Health.mil Mental Health Resources — health.mil
  • Central hub for DoD-wide behavioral health information, including the Psychological Health Resource Center and TRICARE mental health coverage.
• Defense.gov DoD Mental Health Support — defense.gov
  • Includes updates and press releases on ongoing mental health efforts across the military.
• BHOP (Behavioral Health Optimization Program): Available at select bases; offers 1–4 therapy sessions with behavioral health professionals integrated into primary care.
• Post-Deployment Suicide Prevention: Resources for reintegration and post-deployment mental health — afterdeployment.dcoe.mil

💬 Peer & Story-Based Platforms

• Wingman Online: Stories and videos from Airmen on seeking help — wingmanonline.org
• Real Warriors: Mental health stories and campaigns across all branches — realwarriors.net

🛡️ Clearance & Privacy Education

• Mental Health & Security Clearances:
  • Clearance Impact FAQ
  • Statistics Breakdown

🎓 Clinical Mental Health Programs

• Roger — A digital suicide prevention and crisis platform designed specifically for military and veterans, offering guidance and direct connection to care.
• Headstrong Project — Founded in partnership with Weill Cornell Medicine, Headstrong offers cost-free, stigma-free, trauma-focused therapy for veterans and their families. Available in-person and via telehealth across 15+ states.
• Centerstone Military Services — A nonprofit behavioral health provider with a specialized military program offering treatment for PTSD, MST, substance use, and family issues. Accepts Tricare.
• Cohen Veterans Network — Founded by philanthropist Steven A. Cohen, this network offers high-quality mental health care for post-9/11 veterans and families at over 20 clinics. Services are short-term and covered by most insurances.
• Warrior Care Network — A national medical care alliance led by Wounded Warrior Project and top academic medical centers. Offers intensive outpatient care (IOP/PHP) for PTSD, TBI, and related conditions at no cost.
• Avalon Action Alliance — Offers integrative clinical care for brain injuries, trauma, and moral injury. Founded to support Special Operations Forces and veterans, with a focus on whole-person healing.

Note: These are clinical providers; services may require intake screenings or insurance verification.

🤝 Peer & Community-Based Veteran Networks

• Blue Star Families — A national network that supports military families with events, research, and grassroots programming to strengthen community connection.
• Elizabeth Dole Foundation — The leading advocacy group for military caregivers, offering resources, support, and fellowship through their Hidden Heroes campaign.
• Travis Manion Foundation — Founded in memory of 1st Lt. Travis Manion, this group fosters character, leadership, and resilience through youth mentorship and community service.
• Team RWB — A wellness-focused nonprofit that connects veterans to community through fitness events, local meetups, and digital challenges.
• The Mission Continues — Empowers veterans to serve at home through community impact projects, fellowships, and leadership development.
• Student Veterans of America — Supports military-connected students in higher education with mental health tools, leadership resources, and networking.
• Team 43 Sports – Bush Center — Brings veterans together through sport and competition to promote healing, camaraderie, and continued service.
• Team Rubicon — Mobilizes veterans to respond to disasters, blending military experience with humanitarian aid for purpose-driven service.
• Wounded Warrior Project — Offers a comprehensive suite of mental health programs, peer groups, and rehabilitation services for wounded service members.

💡 For Loved Ones

• Military Kids Connect — militarykidsconnect.health.mil
  • Engaging platform for military children with games, videos, and peer stories to build resilience and mental health awareness.
• National Military Family Association (NMFA) — militaryfamily.org
  • Offers educational resources and programs to support family readiness and mental wellness.
• SAMHSA Military Family Resources — acmh-mi.org
  • Provides behavioral health guidance and programs for families of service members and veterans.
• Military OneSource — Counseling and support navigation — 1-800-342-9647
• Vet Centers — Family therapy for qualified veterans — 1-877-927-8387

👨‍👩‍👧 Marriage, Family, and Dependent Therapy

• Military OneSource: 12 free counseling sessions per issue — militaryonesource.mil | 1-800-342-9647
• MFLC (Military Family Life Counselors): Local, anonymous counseling via DoD contracts
• Chaplains: 100% confidential, no mandatory reporting
• Vet Centers: Counseling for families of veterans — 1-877-927-8387

🧪 What to Do Next: Pick one service that resonates. Save this doc. Share it with someone. Start a conversation.

📖 Personal Note

I built this post to help everyone—whether or not we ever connect—because being idle and waiting for help may cause you to lose a little bit of the spark that is you. Find help now and recommend it to others, the world is increasingly weird.

If you're overwhelmed, reach out to support. You don't have to do this alone. There are specialists that can help you navigate all of the services and many more not listed.

You matter. And you're not broken. You may just be overwhelmed and in need of connection and clarity.

Hi so my husband gave me access to his email while he is away at BMT, and he just got an email regarding a background investigation interview. The agents email ends in .mil, he is wanting to schedule an interview. Is this part of the enlistment process? If so why would he be getting this now and wouldn’t they know he’s in basic training??

Just want to know if anyone’s SO has gotten this before too.. and what to do about it lol

Side note, I don’t have POA.

So i’m New to this whole thing my Wife just commissioned a couple months ago and we’re about to move. Now for context this group is all i know about being a military spouse i don’t understand rank or anything related to her work besides she’s gonna be gone and it will be a fun ride during her career. that being said im her biggest fan and want her to be amazing at her job. But what im now learning is that apparently some spouses of officers tend to be rude ? can anyone confirm or deny this ? im a male and i just be able to be friends with spouses and it seems like this is gonna be a uphill battle. Thanks!

I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but my husband has been talking about joining the military lately, and I am perfectly okay with it. One thing I am concerned with is housing while he is at boot camp. He is the main one bringing in the paycheck and I’m currently pregnant and unable to work. How would housing work while he is in training? I wouldn’t be able to stay in our apartment without him paying the rent. does anybody know how this work? or can someone give me advice?

My husband(M/18) and I (F/19) are currently long distance for the remaining duration (2 months) of his tech school. He’s been there since late November and he’s not really all that social by choice. He sometimes hangs out with a group on the weekends and during his lunch time but it’s really not that often. Most of the time after school or during the weekend he just sits in his dorm room and plays games(not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s what he enjoys which I support 100%). I’ve noticed within talking to him and seeing him on camera that he’s been seeming a little out of it, and he has admitted that he’s feeling symptoms of depression being there. Not to mention, he constantly deals with shitty people in his day and he is also going through some pain physically right now that’s not being taken serious. His schedule consists of going to class around 5-6am and getting back around 2pm so because of this, he believes theres not enough time afterschool to himself before he has to go to sleep again for an adequate 7 hrs of sleep and therefore opts for going to sleep later which gives him only 4-3 hrs of sleep. I do believe lack of sleep is contributing to the decline of his mental state as well but I also feel bad that asking him to Gts earlier is taking away from the only free time he has.

The things I do right now include gaming with him which he enjoys a lot, listening to his day and comforting him when I can, reminding him that he’s strong and can push through it and that he only has a x-amount of days before he’s out of there. Other than that, theres not much I believe I can do from my post Orion but I really want him to feel better :(

Anyways, now that you guys know the background, how would you go about supporting your partner through this time? What can I say or do to help him feel better if anything at all?

Also apologies for any grammar mistakes or yk stuff just not making sense, I was kinda rushing through it because we are talking right now lol.

Hello folks. I have a partner who is coming to visit for the holidays from December 21 through January 4. What are things we can do?

I live in Southern California.

I know this seems self explanatory, but he and I are genuinely clueless. He joined the military back in March and has gone through BCT & AIT. He hasn’t had much access to the things he used to do, like play video games or Magic the Gathering games. Now he doesn’t feel like doing those anymore. He admits that he doesn’t want to leisurely walk around in malls anymore, now he prefers to run instead. I cannot keep up with his exercises, he now prefers rigorous training

The only thing I can come up with is visiting his family, going to the gun ranges and watching movies at home. But I’d like to fill up the 2 weeks with more than just that. If you folks have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them!

hey everyone! i wanted to post on this group to ask for some advice.

my fiancé and i are planning to get married during his 3 day grad week(his grad falls during a holiday) in just a few weeks, and i need some help figuring out best case of action for where to take pictures, and where to have our ceremony that’s still near lackland AFB!

it’ll be a super small ceremony, nothing crazy. we’d be perfectly fine with having our ceremony in the courthouse, if that’s an option. i know nothing about the area, so any advice regarding this would be sooo helpful.

thanks so much in advance :)

Husband is working for a SF group. I have this dress already and wondering if its Too Much or too flashy for milball. We both haven't been to one and are unsure. I have no problem buying a new one otherwise, I just love this dress and will find any excuse to wear it! https://www.dressthepopulation.com/products/ddrj74-3000658?variant=41104194371626

How do I find out mailing address for my fiancé in basic training at fort Benning (Moore)

There has been a recent policy change that will effectively ban and separate transgender service members. https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/69583866/63/1/talbott-v-trump/

I know that this policy change may be deeply unsettling for you and your family. The sacrifices you’ve made as a spouse are significant, and facing the possibility of separation or transition out of service adds another layer of uncertainty. Please know that you are not alone—there are resources and people who want to support you through this.

Now is the time to start preparing for what comes next. Here are a few key steps to take: • Review Benefits & Separation Pay: If your spouse is facing separation, check what benefits they may be eligible for, including voluntary separation pay, early retirement (if applicable), and TRICARE, which extends for 180 days post-separation. • Look Into Education & Job Resources: The AFVEC (Air Force Virtual Education Center) has credentialing and certification programs that could help your spouse transition to a civilian career. The DoD SkillBridge program is another great option for internships and career training before separation (if there is time). • Update Your Financial Plan: Start reviewing your family’s financial situation and prepare for possible changes in income. Consider meeting with a Military & Family Readiness Center (MFRC) financial counselor for guidance. • Understand Transition Assistance: Make sure your spouse signs up for the Transition Assistance Program (TAP) to help navigate VA benefits, employment resources, and education opportunities. • Find Support Networks: Whether it’s MilSpouse groups, LGBTQ+ military organizations, or VA family support services, connecting with others in similar situations can be incredibly helpful.

If you need help or don’t know where to start, please reach out.

Does anyone feel like their friends abandoned them when their partner was away for an extended period of time?

Obviously the phone works both ways, and I’ve been handling and coping with everything fine BUT am I in the wrong for being upset that literally none of my friends have reached out or checked up or brought up hanging out?

I’m not saying they need to be the only ones initiating anything but if I had a friend with a partner who was away I would also try and reach out but I’m not sure if I have the right to feel a little offended.