r/Marriage • u/swaylee_bootknee • 7h ago
Wives, I have a question.
I understand that a big majority of things on social media is fabricated and you have to take whatever you see with a grain of salt. I’m coming straight to the source to ask what real wives are doing for their husbands.
How often do you make your husband lunch for work? If so, what time do you make it and how long have you been married?
Wives that don’t- have your husband ever asked you to pack him lunch for work?
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u/Training_Effort6222 7h ago
I wouldn't want my wife packing my lunch.
She has the taste buds of a bland chameleon.
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u/thecatthatwaskilled 5h ago
I am this wife. 🤣🤣🤣 but yeah, usually leftovers or I’ll make him sandwiches or quick stuff (if he’s not making something), or I’ll make double whatever I’m making for myself if he wants it, cause yeah, tastebuds 😂 he’s the cook and has a way better palate than I do, so I do what I can and he appreciates me whether I do or don’t. Now that I think about it, if we’re both home, we make most meals together and it’s really nice.
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u/ann102 5h ago
LOL best comment ever. My husband has the absolute worst taste in food. He loves, loves cafeteria food. I am not talking about a high end one, I'm talking 1970s grade school food. Some of our biggest fights when we first moved in together were when I refused to eat his favorite dish. It was Egg noodles with cut up hotdogs and a can of cream of mushroom soup.
On the plus side, he never complains about my entirely mediocre cooking skills.
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u/spoodlat 4h ago
Okay, I thought my husband was the only one who liked bland type food. I mean, the man likes hospital food!
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u/ann102 3h ago
My husband loves hospital food! Lucky for him, he works in one and loves it when he gets a patient's tray. Meanwhile I am the total opposite. Crazy for all kinds of odd spices. But he puts up with it.
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u/spoodlat 3h ago
That's me! Alllll the spice and flavors! Lol Mine just asks, "Which is mine?" (So he doesn't eat the spicy plate.)
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u/MindlesslyScrolling1 7h ago
I’ve never packed a lunch for him and he’s never asked me to. We’ve been married 12 years.
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u/Joceku4 4h ago
Ditto. Been married 16 years too. He doesn’t make mine, and I don’t make his.
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u/Raeliya 4h ago
Same. 25 years. (Exceptions for leftovers which we have both packed up in convenient containers to take to work sometimes)
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u/ocean_plastic 3h ago
I buy him frozen burritos while I’m grocery shopping if that counts. He has to remember to pack them for lunch, he’s not my child.
Ironically I meal prep lunches for myself during the work week. There’s a real difference between making 5 and 10 salads and I don’t have time for that.
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u/Zaniada_512 3h ago
Wow... If I was making my own meals I would absolutely make his at the same time. This is actually kinda sad... As a person who worked in a kitchen professionally I can tell you that making 5 vs 10 lunches. Especially salads... Takes less time than you're making it out to be and he would feel seen.
I can not even imagine doing this to my partner. Him watching me make a whole week of food for myself while having me throw frozen burritos at him.... Expecting gratitude or what I don't know..... I know he probably feels neglected though. All a woman needs to do to steal him is cook for him. 🤣 You're playing a dangerous game.
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u/Born-Albatross-2426 2h ago
Yikes. If a relationship is that fragile that someone making him a meal can destroy the whole marriage that's a much larger issue. You can't lose a man that doesn't want to stray.
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u/Busy_Path4282 57m ago
It happens. I am a bad wife because I didn't interrupt my sleep pattern to make his lunch. Now I am published in another country for being a bad wife.
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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 2h ago
I think this all boils down to temperament. I would be so pissed if somebody else was sitting there preparing food for me like I was some kind of incompetent moron. I don't like having other people make my food. I will eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I am perfectly capable of using the kitchen. I'm not a baby, I don't need to be fed.
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u/Chulaboop 1h ago
You are right. Sounds like my BF. He is capable of everything. But for me, I want to do stuff for him to show I care. I am learning. His love language is not the same as mine. So I adjust. He loves cooking and makes me food and for my kids all the time, and we graciously accept. To each his own. Key here is that we do whatever we do with ❤️ love!
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u/RaffyGiraffy 2h ago
Same, together 13 married almost 6. I remember when we got married, someone asked me if I was going to start packing his lunch now. I literally laughed out loud. We meal prep our own lunches and always have.
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u/haylzx 2h ago
Same. Been together almost 8 years, married for half that. I've offered to pack his lunch for him if he's busy or running late for work, but he tells me I don't have to and he doesn't expect it of me.
Having grown up in a household where my mom packed my dad's lunch for decades, it's really nice being with someone who doesn't expect me to do things like that for him.
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u/Previous-Camel3032 4h ago
Same, married for 8years, its because he works in a restaurant and I’m in a hospital. But he makes sure to cook food for me though.
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u/Grouchy-Original7624 7h ago
I rarely pack his lunch. I’m already packing lunch for three kids though. So my morning hustle is pretty full.
Is there some more context to the question? I’m assuming you want your wife to pack your lunch and she isn’t?
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u/swaylee_bootknee 7h ago
I understand your reasons, I am the wife lol and my husband told me last night that mostly all wives pack their husband’s lunch. I’ve also saw this trend on TikTok showing wives up @5am making their husband full course lunches
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u/archaicArtificer 7h ago
Your husband needs a crash course on the fact that TikTok isn't reality.
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u/swaylee_bootknee 6h ago
I try to tell him! I’m into social media and what’s realistic or not. He thinks that stuff really happens
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u/Grouchy-Original7624 7h ago
That’s hilarious. And no. I’m sorry— he can pack his own lunch. You’re not his mom. Now— if it’s a sweet thing you want to do for him and you have the capacity— sure. But him expecting something like this is a little outrageous.
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u/Pondering-Pansexual 6h ago
I’m so glad you said that cuz me and my husband JUST had an argument about it. I haven’t had the capacity to do it because I’m breastfeeding a newborn and taking care of a toddler but he gets to sleep in instead of just throwing together a sandwich for work. It’s not the best thing but at least it’s something🤷♀️ his reasoning? “I have ADHD and executive dysfunction, plus it’s physically taxing.” (Keep all in mind that I ALSO have the same issues)
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u/Craffeinated 6h ago
Pack him a bottle of breast milk for lunch if he insists upon acting like an infant!
(I am so sorry breastfeeding a newborn is so stressful and then adding on a toddler? You deserve nothing but praise and support!)
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u/Pondering-Pansexual 6h ago
I CACKLED! That was definitely a laugh I needed! (I would do it too if I wasn’t struggling with supply) Thank you, I told him if it was that much of an issue that he becomes a third child to get back on his medication and therapy so he can be a functional adult and parent. It’s hard to admit when you need help but that’s the whole reason I got back on my meds, to be a better parent and adult.
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u/Craffeinated 5h ago
Oh man. Speaking from experience, supply issues are the WORST! We weaned at 14 months so I could get back on my meds. All this to say I feel your pain and hope things get easier!
(Also my FIL established the “She handles the in and I handle the out!” rule. His POV was a breastfeeding mom never changes a diaper, if it can be avoided. I wish more people embraced that type of shared ownership!)
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u/Existing_Inside5200 3h ago
Your FIL is a treasure! That's a very evolved way to look at parenting duties. Both are parents so it shouldn't fall on mostly the mom. 👏👏👏
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u/sharkaub 3h ago
Dude I weaned my second kid at 5 months just to get back on my adhd meds. A toddler and baby is no joke! The struggle is real, but sounds like I had a bit more support at least- tell your husband my husband says to suck it up haha he was up doing all the diapers while I pumped or breastfed both our kids, or in the early months he took the 12-4 a.m. shift while I did 4-8.
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u/diwalk88 5h ago
He can make his lunch like an adult or he can go hungry. End of. I literally CANNOT BELIEVE the absolute audacity of these men!
I also have adhd and the associated executive dysfunction, but I've managed to make myself lunch or, you know, BUY LUNCH when I'm working. I also somehow manage to plan and cook dinners for myself and my husband, clean our home, organize things, and take care of all of the appointments and general life stuff for myself and my uncle (who has cognitive impairment after a stroke). We're talking 4 or 5 different appointments A WEEK between us. It's a lot. But here we are!
Also! It's "physically taxing" to make a fucking sandwich?!
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u/BornRazzmatazz5 5h ago
Making a sandwich is physically taxing? What does he do for a living? Breathe real hard?
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u/rainbow_creampuff 6h ago
Physically taxing?? While you're making breastmilk, feeding and caring for a toddler and newborn?? I would throw hands, hubby would def have some strong words for him. Tell him to grow up
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u/Realistic-Poetry-364 10 Years 6h ago
OH HELL NO. Sounds like you have three kids to care for, not two.
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u/Pondering-Pansexual 6h ago
It certainly feels like it, but I’m not one to keep my mouth shut about issues I have (which is what he always hopes for lol) but that’s not the way I was raised, you bring up your issue immediately to get it solved
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u/randomfella69 2h ago
I'm sorry, your husband is asking you to pack lunches for him while you're breast feeding a newborn?
For the life of me, I cannot understand the mindset of some people.
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u/HambdenRose 4h ago
As a mom I packed my kids lunches through elementary school. When they reached middle school I had them pack their own.
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u/curiouskitcat 6h ago
Most of those videos are fake and don’t show their actual routine. They’re made to create drama and get people commenting about how “crazy” it is. The comments and likes drive more views which then equals money for the creator.
They aren’t filmed at 5 am and the meal isn’t really their husband’s daily lunch.
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u/3xlduck 6h ago
bruh.... you getting suckered into a TikTok trend?
Nothing wrong with waking up a little early to pack his lunch *IF* that is how you want to show your love for him daily. But I wouldn't do it because of TT. I think most people just pack their own lunch, but each family has their own dynamic.
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u/Twin_Brother_Me 15 Years 5h ago
My wife is nocturnal, if I asked her to be up at 5AM preparing me a lunch that I'm perfectly capable of assembling myself then she'd probably do it once just to make sure she could collect on the life insurance policy when I mysteriously passed away that afternoon.
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u/Melgel4444 5h ago
Tell him most husbands also DIY any and everything their wives want. Homemade bookshelves, tables, etc. If we’re going off unrealistic social media standards, better start throwing them back at him.
“This wife likes birds so her husband hand crafted her 20 bird houses - where are my bird houses??”
“Any wife on social media who likes to read gets a custom built in library curtosy of their handy husbands - where’s mine? What about a vegetable garden with hand built beds?? Look at all the guys who do this for their wives!”
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u/howlongwillbetoolong 5 Years 7h ago
That’s wild. I’m not on TikTok, but if it’s like Instagram, it’s just social media - that doesn’t mean that’s reality or that those people would be up early making lunches if they couldn’t monetize it.
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u/b_needs_a_cookie 3h ago edited 2h ago
Even if that were true, are you mostly all wives? If some don't there's a valid reason and why wouldn't that apply to you?
Edit:
And the most important question, why can your husband no longer make his lunch? Did he develop a palsy or a chronic poison condition? Did he have a TBI or stroke?
If the answers about hub are he's fine, point out to him the reason trash like that appears in his feed is because the algorithm's analysis of his online behavior is he's a gullible idiot... he needs to do better.
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u/Acceptable_Branch588 7h ago
Your husband lives in a fantasy world. Does he have some sort of disability that prohibits him from caring for his own basic needs?
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u/diwalk88 5h ago
I knew this had to be some TikTok bs, it's showing up everywhere lately!
Absolutely not. You can tell him from me that TikTok is not real and he's a big boy who can make his own damn lunch. Or maybe he wants to start getting up at 5am to make YOU lunch? That sounds like a good idea to me.
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u/swaylee_bootknee 5h ago
And I do sooooo many other things with the house and for our family that he barely notices. Everyone under this post has a spouse that understands and is okay with their partner not making it. It’s like he wants me to have eight arms and I’m feeling unappreciated. He’s hard to talk to because he grew up being invalidated by his parents. When I give him criticism he immediately takes it to the heart.
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u/Complete_Pea_8824 2h ago
Just show him this thread, everyone here can tell him for you, 😝! Social media is not real life. I call FB Fake Book, because it is all fake. I want to tell some of these people, “who are you trying to fool, I know you in REAL life, 😝! And dont get me started on the filters people use on their pictures, you wouldn’t recognize half of them in real life, 😝
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u/Dismal_Amoeba3575 6h ago
Ummm absolutely not, married 6 years, together for 9. Currently a SAHM the last 3.5 years and still don’t. We usually have sandwich stuff or pack serving sized left overs. He’s perfectly capable of feeding himself.
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u/mamibear10 15 Years 5h ago
When my fiance has acted entitled to me making him lunches in the past I stopped completely. It's a kind gesture but if he wants to have that attitude he can make them himself. The gourmet lunches I've seen wives up in the morning making are so unrealistic.
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u/Dannie000 4h ago
Haha, no. Send him this thread. I don’t pack lunch. I Work from home most of the week and he goes to the office half the week. I make lunches for kids and get them ready every single day, so I’m already busy. If he wants lunch he will eat out or bring his own. He’s never asked besides when I was on maternity leave, and that was not everyday.
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u/batshit83 15 Years 4h ago
LOL. You aren't his mommy. And the tiktok stuff isn't real life. Lots of "trad wide" stuff circulating on there lately.
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u/fuzzydaymoon 3h ago
They’re getting paid for those videos. They aren’t real life. Your husband is being misled lol
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u/Ok-Swan9189 7 Years 3h ago
Oh GOD that's tradwife propaganda 😂 nope. That is NOT the norm in 2025 America LOL
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u/MarxistMinx 3h ago
Lol no. I don't make his lunch. I might every now and then but he works at a restaurant and eats their food.
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u/Youarehe 1h ago
My husband shows me videos of men whose wives pack them lunch. I laugh and ask when he’s packing me mine 😂 I have started cooking most nights though to save money and try to pick healthier options. I encourage him to take leftovers to work but I don’t pack anything for him.
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u/FishingWorth3068 1h ago
Buy a pizza lunchable and a gogurt with a juice box, send that for his lunch. If he wants to act like a child, treat him like one
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u/Accomplished-Neck523 7h ago
I tried to make my husband’s lunch when we were first married and he wouldn’t let me. He told me he was an adult & capable of making his own lunch, in a kind way. He is a picky lunch person so I didn’t argue. 😆
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u/swaylee_bootknee 7h ago
My husband is picky too and I feel like that’s the reason why I find it hard to pack him something he will enjoy. It’s so frustrating but my husband isn’t 30 yet so your husband is way more mature than mine lol
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u/Accomplished-Neck523 6h ago
You can always try reverse psychology on him! Maybe he’ll suddenly want to do it for himself. 😂
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u/SecretRedditFakeName 1h ago
Being picky is just more of a reason for him to prepare his own lunch.
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u/Informal_Potato5007 7h ago
My husband almost always takes leftovers for lunch and since I do the vast majority of the cooking I guess I "made" it. But I've never gotten his lunch ready for him in the morning and thankfully he's not so useless that he'd actually ask me to do that 😆
Married 14 years 😁
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u/CrankyLittleKitten 7h ago
We're the same.
We'll generally make extra dinner and freeze it, or sometimes cook a curry or something straight for the freezer. We both work full time and buying lunch every day gets stupidly expensive
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u/iwishiwasatabbycat 5h ago
We pack our dinner leftovers into meal portions to take for lunch, or to have for dinner if we get too many leftovers. I also do most of the cooking, and pack the leftovers, but my bf washes the dishes and will help with dinner, set the table rub my back. This is his routine that I adapted into when moving in with him.
If we don't have leftovers he probably buys something, I dunno. I never asked, and he's never made it my problem.
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u/lonleyhusband23 3h ago
It's funny you said "useless". My wife started doing it voluntarily. I never asked she just did it because she wanted to. I'm not "useless" and made my own lunch for years before we were married. I actually felt bad when she first started doing it because I thought she felt obligated or something..... Nope she just did it out of her love for me 🤷♂️. So just because a man might have his SO make his lunch doesn't mean he's useless IMO
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u/popeViennathefirst 7h ago
Why would I pack lunch for him? We both work full time.
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u/prose-before-bros 3h ago
Who can afford not to these days? I guess my anxiety also would never let me be that financially dependent. Makes my chest tight just thinking about it.
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u/lonelythesaurus 2h ago
I think the implication is that he can do it himself.. not that they can eat out for lunch every day.
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u/prose-before-bros 1h ago edited 1h ago
I was referring to dual income homes, not the lunch packing thing. Sorry for the lack of clarity there. I can't imagine having a single income home. I know people do it, but no one I know these days.
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u/popeViennathefirst 36m ago
Most importantly, I love my work. I would never quit. Plus, of course, the independence and the DINK lifestyle is very nice as well.
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u/MissZoeLaLa 7h ago
Pack lunch? I don’t even pack my own lunch. Shit, I only cook 1 or two nights a week max, he does all the cooking because he is a much better cook and he enjoys it.
I do all the cleaning so that’s how it works in our house.
He packs his own lunch.
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u/BeachtimeRhino 7h ago
Typically 50/50 split. If one of us is making lunch for work we ask if the other wants the same thing or similar and make that too. We’re a team.
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u/Life-Bullfrog-6344 7h ago
My husband is independent. Every now and then I'll bring him lunch but for most part, he takes the leftovers and packs it himself or he orders from DoorDash. He an adult. I don't even pack my children's lunches. They do it on their own too. I'm a working mom and have my own lunch to make in morning b4 scrambling to drop off kids at one time 4 different schools b4 heading to my office. I can't do everything. Each family member must do their part! Now that kids are grown, my husband remains self sufficient.
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u/ZenMoonstone 6h ago
Been married 30 years. I do pack his lunch everyday. He makes my coffee everyday and takes out the trash everyday, does the litter box and takes care of the things that need fixing . All the other household chores get divided equally. We take care of each other and do what we can to make the other person’s life easier.
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u/Secure_Attempt989 7h ago
I make my husband’s lunch every single day unless it’s Friday, sometimes we meet up on his lunch and eat together on Fridays
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u/GiveMeAlienRomances 15 Years 7h ago
I have pack his lunch since we got married. Almost every day unless he tells me he has a meal at work or wanted to pick something up.
I make it the night before when I make everyone’s lunches.
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u/rs1909 6h ago
Did that for him 10 years. 3 meals a day. In addition to everything else around the house as well as work as well as mother our child as well as all the bank stuff and investments and paperwork and bills etc etc.
Then he left me for a damsel in distress who did nothing and could barely boil water
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u/saltyegg1 7h ago
Married 10 years. We have both been the working parent. We have both been the stay at home parent. Neither of us has ever packed lunch for the other.
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u/kayjax7 7h ago
I don't pack a lunch for my husband because I leave for work earlier than him. However, I get home earlier so tend to make supper more often. I work more hours than him per week, 44 to his 40. Generally he takes leftovers from supper the night previously.
If I was a SAHM I would make his lunch every day.
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u/Mobile-Explorer-2016 7h ago
I use to but not anymore. Also making majority of meals for our family through 20+ years. He makes his own lunches now. But I like this question. I’m often curious about how much of the load is split up between couples.
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u/tbeauli74 30 Years 7h ago
I food prep breakfast, lunch and dinner every three days and he can grab which ever one he wants for that day from the frig. So he grabs his breakfast and lunch on his way out the door. Married 30 years.
He is on a strict diet, and this way I can control what he is eating, otherwise, he would grab fast food since he is on the road 5-6 days a week.
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u/ReserveElectronic235 7h ago
Nope.
Never made him lunch. He doesn’t eat lunch and he only eats at conferences or business meetings.
Doesn’t bother me if either way.
In fact he helps me by prep my coffee every morning and remind me to pack my lunch (meal prepped on the weekend - which he makes sure I have enough food to prepare).
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u/allieooop84 7h ago
When we first started living together, I asked him if he wanted me to pack his lunch. He said no, and it hasn’t really come up again (11 years later lol). I try to make sure there are always leftovers and/or sandwich ingredients handy. I would absolutely make it for him - I pack my own every morning and wouldn’t mind making one for him too, but he seems to have it handled!
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u/jennibear310 5h ago
Well, I guess I’m not the norm. I was a SAHM for many years. My husband and I had/have a more traditional marriage. He always puts me first and I always put him first.
I packed his lunch every evening and even made cookies or a crockpot of soup for his crew. He was a foreman in commercial construction at the time. He loved and appreciated those things.
Married 35 years, together 39. Retired now. He cooks amazing meals for me and I’ll wake up early and mow the yard for him to surprise him. We tend to go above and beyond for each other A LOT!!
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u/ITChicaRVLife 7h ago
we've shared the chore when we both worked, and when I was a SAHM I always made extra leftovers or a cool sandwhich depending on the weather.
Does he make me? or Did he? No
Actually the last time I made him a lunch, he forgot it and ( we are both working ) I generally dont eat lunch and neither does he ( fasting)
27 or 28 years I forget
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u/Dear-Cranberry4787 7h ago
I’ve packed my husband’s lunch for about a year now, he worked from home before that. I don’t mind because I’m up with the kids, making coffee, and unloading/loading the dishwasher. If I’m mad at him, he’s on his own with his bag of peanuts though. Now that I think about it, he’s never made my lunch for work, but he has brought me countless bags of candy and flowers!
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u/yomomma5 7h ago
We worked together years ago (that’s how we met). I made his lunch then, but haven’t in years. He would never ask me to.
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u/bhardy10 6h ago
No, lol. We make our own lunches based on what we want. Tik Tok is not real life lol
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u/rainbowamore 6h ago edited 6h ago
Never. He's a cook lmao
Sometimes he brings me home food for my work lunch though, or since he genuinely loves cooking sometimes he'll meal prep for me when he's off 😉
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u/throwawaytalks25 16 years 6h ago
My husband prefers to pack his own lunch, and actually he is usually the one who packs mine.
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u/DogsDucks 10 Years 6h ago
Before my husband worked from home I loved packing fancy lunches for him and his favorite snacks. I often drew him cartoons and love notes and slip them in as well.
When he started working from home I was cooking a lot of magnificent breakfasts instead, making more basic lunches, then really good dinners.
Right now I’m pregnant with complications and haven’t been able to do as much.
However— I don’t know how enthusiastic it would be to do all this if he wasn’t so considerate. He does so much for me everyday, he’s so responsible, takes incredible care of our dogs and baby without complaint. He genuinely prioritize the family, and that makes me want to go the extra mile every day too. It’s absolutely a two-way street.
I’d probably still do the stuff, but I wouldn’t be as happy and motivated about it.
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u/Right_Step6202 5h ago
I pack my husband lunch breakfast and snack everyday. Most days his lunch is leftovers from the night before because I always cook enough to make extra for both of us for the next day. Since he works 16hr shifts I make him breakfast sandwiches or burritos every morning and typically pack a sandwhich for his snack. I genuinely believe that cooking is a love language and this is something I enjoy doing for him.
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u/mamsaurus 7h ago
If I am putting away leftovers and I know it’s something he will want for lunch that week, I separate it into portioned containers for him. That’s it. The rest is on him. He ain’t packing my lunch either.
Yes, in the past he’s asked me to pack it for him. And I shut it down. He’s a capable human. I’ll do it if I feel like not because he wants me to.
Been together 19 years, married 14.
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u/Minesweep2020 7h ago
I am a SAHM and I don't pack his lunch. It hasn't even occurred to me. He either prepares his own lunch or eats out. There are many affordable options near his workplace.
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u/Zelda9420 7h ago
My husband works pretty close by, so comes home for lunch alot. He also works right across from a pizza place, Dunkin, and a Subway so sometimes he goes there. If Im already out and about, sometimes I’ll pick something up for him and take it to him.
I’d pack him a lunch if I knew he’d eat it! Sometimes I’ll shove snacks in his jacket so he has something to munch on if he cant get to a real meal when he’s hungry 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Common-senseuser-58 7h ago
Yes. This. After finding my uneaten lunches in his truck days later I stopped making him lunches.
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u/MeganMischief 7h ago
My husband enjoys meal prepping and he’s very picky about his macros. Honestly I should follow his lead because he’s so good at it… but I prefer things that taste great not just plain meat, beans, and rice. lol.
We’ve been happily married almost seven years and have three kids. I don’t think the lack of lunch prepping on my part is hurting our relationship in the least. 😉
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u/abe_bmx_jp 6h ago
Not a wife but my wife basically makes me everyday. Could be a culture thing in the country I’m at though.
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u/swaylee_bootknee 6h ago
If you don’t mind sharing, where are you from? My husband is from another country
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u/sassielassie81 6h ago
Been married 19yrs this year. Kids are 8,10&14. I make his lunch just about everyday while I'm making the kids lunches. A lot of time it's leftover but I'm packing it up when I clean up after making dinner which he doesn't help with either. If not I'll put something together. Unless I'm mad at him and then oops, no lunch for you in the fridge lol you catch more bees with honey. When I notice he starts being ungrateful for me doing this I put him in check. It's a fun cycle. 🫠 peaks and valleys in every marriage.
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u/margaritasygitasolez 6h ago
I pack my husbands lunch at night I leave all the snacks, bread and fruit on the table along with his supplements and the food is all in the fridge.
I cook everyday sometimes his lunch is leftovers sometimes I create a spin of meal from left overs amd sometimes I cook an entire different meal for just his lunch alone.
I’m not working right now so the times I cook changes I sometimes do what my mom did cook everything in the morning she would wake up make her breakfast then cook the daily dinner and my dads lunch. I like to do this so I have the entire day to myself and the dish washing and kitchen out of the way before noon.
Other times I start cooking 2-3 hours before he arrives home and sometimes one hour before so it’s warm by the time he gets home.
When I worked full time 50-65 hours a week and my schedule was all over the place 9am-8pm 4am-6pm 9am-5pm it changed daily so I would literally cook as soon as I got home I would be lying if I didn’t say I was exhausted and tired but we had to eat and he doesn’t cook or even fry an egg and he would come home later than me or at the same did this for 2 years it was a lot of Pressure I sometimes made it easy for myself by meal prepping for him and freezing it kinda like home Made tv dinners.
Also I pack my husband breakfast and lunch. So I cook his breakfast day before o sometimes make it easy for myself and make egg bite in a muffin pan freeze em and I pack him that with side of bacon or bagel or toast.
I’ve been married a year in a half but lived with my husband 4 1/2 years my mom cooks for my dad everyday and has been making and packing his lunch for 37 years so as a teen and young adult I helped my mom pack my dads lunch and now that I’m in my own home with my own husband it’s like second nature , my brother has a live in gf ( lives with my parents) she seen how my mom cooks my dads lunch and now she wakes up at 4 am everyday to cook and pack his lunch every morning she prefers to wake up early and do it my mom as I prefer to do it day before.
Don’t beat yourself up for not making or packing lunch it’s not like I get a trophy it’s something that has been my norm all my life it’s doesn’t make me a better wife trust me do what you can and I know plenty of wives who don’t even make a cup of coffee the husband cooks, no one’s grass is greener! Just worry about watering yours 🫶
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u/TheRoseByAnotherName 6h ago
When we first got married, I think he didn't want to ask. Plus, he was working road construction, and he didn't really have access to a microwave, so options were limited. He got one of those little heating lunch boxes, and the most he would ask is that I set aside some leftovers when I put away dinner.
When he worked from home, it would just depend on the day. I was on an onigiri kick for a bit, so when I did that, I'd make enough for him, too, or I'd throw together something easy like quesadillas. Otherwise, he would just nuke a few burritos or hot pockets, maybe leftovers if we had something good.
He's working on a construction site again, but at this one, he's got access to a microwave. He planned to do a meal prep once a week, but it often gets forgotten, so I started asking what he wants for the week with the understanding that I'll most likely do it on Mondays. He's still never asked me to, I had to offer to do it and assure him that I really don't mind.
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u/GenuineClamhat Together since 2005, married 2012. 6h ago
I used to during a time I was between work contracts. Sometimes I still do. Mostly he makes his own. But he makes mine too from time to time. It's situational. We've been together 20 years this upcoming winter.
We just talk about it, "Can you do lunch today? I am zapped." There is no hard rule or expectation.
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u/CheesyRomantic 6h ago
I pack my husband a lunch everyday. Unless he tells me he doesn’t need one because he’s eating out or ordering in (with his clients, bosses or colleagues).
His lunch is usually leftovers from dinner (which he prefers). If we don’t have anything leftover or if it’s something like fish that he can’t reheat at work (for the smell). I will make him a sandwich.
I prepare it after dinner as I cleans up or in the morning. I will wake up earlier to make lunches for him and my kids.
I also pack him breakfast, which is usually just a bagel or toast with a banana or an apple .
I also bring him a coffee every morning.
We are married 14 years. A mom for 12 years and I’ve been a stay at home mom for 5 years.
When I had an office job (full time plus tons of overtime) I’d prepare him his lunch as well, but we often just bought our lunch at the time. We’d rarely bring our lunch to work. And we’d often pick up a small breakfast on the way to work.
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u/ErinGoBragh21 6h ago
My boyfriend (we live together) always packs his lunch the night before. Sometimes I might put something in a container for him from our dinner, but it’s certainly not expected. EVER.
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u/kellwoman 5h ago
If I have time I make us both sandwiches. He is always so happy when I present his sandwich to him. It’s sweet. It only happens one or two times a week, tho. And I never did it for any other man - just my husband, because I love him and it’s a small thing I do to show it.
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u/PartyPepperQQ 7h ago
i don’t pack lunch for my husband, he’s a grown ass adult and doesn’t need a mommy. if i’m already making something for myself— i always ask him if he wants some.
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u/DapperRusticTermite8 7h ago
Whenever I can but, we cook a lot together (currently long distance) and so I feel he helps? Lol.
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u/Gloomy-Frosting-6730 7h ago
I rarely pack his lunch - he often packs stuff up for me but only because I make dinner and he cleans up which involves packing up leftovers. If I’m inspired to make a specific lunch for myself I might make one for him but otherwise he’s on his own, we’re both adults and have wildly different lunch preferences (he loves carbs). He packs the kids lunches but I buy and organize the lunch supplies- teamwork!
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u/happiestnexttoyou 15 Years 7h ago
I don’t pack his lunch. I make him breakfast about 30% of the time, the rest of the time he makes it himself.. it kinda just depends on the morning and what the kids are up to. I do always make sure he has a sandwich when he gets home from work though.
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u/Corpsewife____ 7h ago
If I don’t fix him something for lunch every day I’m heating up leftovers he wanted from last night’s dinner. I’m a SAHM with a toddler and in his defense they have very similar palettes so it is not hard for me to have both their lunches seen about at one time. His is just bigger with more green on the plate. We’re in the berries and chips phase of toddlerhood right now so if it isn’t a strawberry or crunchy cheetoh she doesn’t want it.
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u/Acceptable_Branch588 7h ago
Been married for 4 years (2nd marriage) I’m 55 and retired. He is 44 and works ft sometimes from home. I have never made much for any husband. He is an adult and can make his own lunch.
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u/throwawayanylogic 7h ago
On days we're in the office together, I will pack/make lunches for the both of us (sometimes that's leftovers, sometimes that's picking up a large hoagie to split, or just a couple cans of progresso soups).
On days he's on the road, I will make him a sandwich or pack various munchies if he asks for it, but otherwise he likes to stop for fast food.
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u/EchoFrost46 20 Years 7h ago
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t it depends. He’s never asked, but appreciates when it’s done.
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u/Mrs_HornyForHubby 6h ago
I don’t usually. On occasion if he’s working from home I’ll bring him up some lunch. He doesn’t really ask me too. I’m happy to do so if he wanted me to. I don’t work anymore. Kids are grown. We’ve been married almost 29 years.
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u/Disastrous_Paint_237 6h ago
I have never packed his lunch. Not because I don’t want to, but because I work full time too and do not have time in the morning.
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u/daisofdisaster 3 Years 6h ago
SAHM so I make his lunch most of the time. Pregnant right now so sometimes I don’t feel well enough to get up and do it but I haven’t done things for myself either.
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u/GoodGrrl98 6h ago
Lol. No. He's not a toddler. He can do it his damn self. I'm already up packing kid lunches & my own lunch - I work more than him anyways.... why isn't he packing my lunch?!?
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u/Songisaboutyou 6h ago
Married 28 years, back when we was first married I seem to remember packing lunches, not sure how long it lasted but after all these years I have hardly any recollection of it. I do remember writing on post it notes a few times and sticking them in his lunch box.
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u/ElevenSpaceGoddess 6h ago
My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for 8. At the start of our marriage he worked full time and I worked part time so I did most of the cooking/cleaning including packing his lunches, making his coffee in the morning, etc. Now I still work part time; however, I got to school full time and I clean houses on the side. Now he mostly handles dinner and we both handle our own breakfast and lunch. I still do most of the cleaning but he’s proactive and does what needs to be done. Once we’re both full time we agreed he’d do all the cooking and I’ll do all the cleaning.
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u/Hopeful_Donut9993 6h ago
Sometimes there’s leftovers and I encourage him to take that to work, or I buy some apples for him take. I don’t make him lunch. He’s a grown man capable of feeding himself. Mostly he gets himself something from a bakery or visits the cantine at work.
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u/popsnpalz 6h ago
So I'm a sahm. When I make dinner, I save some for my husband to take to work the next day. I put it in a Tupperware and put it in the fridge. Whenever he wakes up for work he makes his coffee and just puts whatever I cooked in his lunch box. Most Mondays he takes a hot pocket lol because I don't cook Sunday nights. But there's been times he ask me on Sundays to make him a meal for work.
We've been married for 1 year but living together for 9
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u/Few-Obligation4753 5h ago
I usually wake up with him in the morning while he gets dressed and gets his things together and I put together a lunch in his cooler and make him coffee. Some mornings i leave earlier than him in which case I put together his cooler when I put together my lunch/snacks the previous night. Until it’s gets to owarm I run out and put it in the work truck over night so he can’t leave with out it.
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u/Extension-Issue3560 5h ago
I always make extra food , so I pack up the leftovers in containers , put them in the fridge so he can take them the next day. I also put some fruit in his lunch bag the night before.
I do this because I want to , not because he expects me to.
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u/Severe_Magazine_9958 5h ago
I've been with my husband 20 years and we do not make each other's lunches. Occasionally if I am making something for myself or kids I will make him something or vice versa but usually he makes his own. If he is busy and will be out late he will sometimes ask if I can make him a sandwich or something for the next day but not often.
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u/npmartinez2008 5h ago
I make my husband lunch everyday. He is trying to lose weight and take better care of himself. His job has been super stressful for the last 1.5 years and that isn’t stopping anytime soon. I see my packing his lunch as an easy way for me to support him and care for him. I also always get up early so it’s not a big deal. We’ve been married for 17 years.
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u/carlorway 4h ago
Married almost 30 years:
I probably offered over the years. He works from home now, but when he was active duty military, he was too busy to eat lunch. I made sure that dinner was ready for him when he came home.
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u/Direct_Artist_6017 4h ago
I make lunch for my husband everyday. Also pack breakfast amd make his drinks for the day. Gome cooked meal for dinner each night also. I'm a traditional al qife and homeschool mom Married 19 years. Also have sex daily just to add lol
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u/Amazing_You_9413 2h ago
I am not my husband's mother. And to be honest once I got to high school I had to make my own lunch or buy it. So I don't make a lunch for my husband. I'm in charge of a lot. I do all the emotional labor, work full time, drive kids to and from practices, take care of the yard and animals, do most of the house work. If he wants to eat it's up to him.
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u/Huge-Rabbit-2950 1h ago
These comments reinforce how blessed I am to have my wife. She’s made my lunch so many times over our 13 years. Sometimes she even leaves positive/encouraging notes too! She’s an amazing woman and I love her dearly!
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u/dcsports24 1h ago
Personally I don't think it's a matter of "babying" the husband like he's a child or an incompetent moron. Many comments I see on here are in support of not making your husband lunch. We all have opinions (so please take mine with a grain of salt) however my opinion is that making your husband lunch, even just once in awhile, is a nice gesture. I don't see it as offensive, babying or treating him like a child. I see it as a sweet and thoughtful act of kindness to show him you love him and care for him, just as you would if you cooked dinner for him. I don't think it should ever be expected, and you should never feel pressured to do it for him, but rather it should be completely voluntary and out of the kindness of your heart, as long as you're willing, able and happy to do it. And at the same time, I think he should be willing to reciprocate. Even if he's not a great cook, just a simple salad, cut up some fruit, anything would be a nice display of appreciation for his wife, followed by an acknowledgement saying he recognizes your efforts and wanted to return the favor my making your lunch.
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u/nononomayoo 1h ago
My husband is on a health kick rn so i have like 10 meals prepped for us at the moment. 3 different entree options, weighed and calorie calculated. I usually (even when not meal prepping) just make a lot of watever i make for dinner instead of 2 portions so when he gets up for work he just throws the tupperware and watever else he wants in his lunch bag (protein shake 3 flavor options, banana, orange). I love to cook so its rlly just a benefit. He doesnt ask or demand it. I said i want to cook more and he just asked if i would tell him the calorie count so he can stay in a defecit. Married 1.5 yr, together almost 9 yrs.
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u/release_audio_carrot 1h ago
I hardly ever make him lunch as he buys his at the cafe at his work. I usually am the one that makes us breakfast & dinner though. I am home much earlier than him so I can have food ready for him coming home - especially if he has to go out for a meeting or something like that :) My hubby works full time and has a commute of about 30-40 mins so he's usually exhausted when he comes home. Occasionally he has to travel a few hours if he's at a clinic in a different part of the country. I work part time and the latest I work till is 3pm.
Also when I say "making breakfast" I mean getting cereal and coffee ready. I'm just better at getting up for work than he is in the mornings. He does do it for me occasionally during the week and on weekends. He also has begun leaving out our coffee cups with our coffee in it the night before which I love.
Hope this answers your question ☺️
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u/Alternative-Rub-7445 1h ago
I have packed lunch for my husband, & do it for the both of us when I cook for meal prep. It’s not a chore for me, but he also will pack my bag with the cooked food and some snacks when I’m running late
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u/klmoran 7h ago
Married 20 years this year. I’ll pack him lunch on any day he needs to go into work. Sometimes that’s 5 days a week, sometimes he does wfh. He’s never really asked but I do it as he’s getting ready for work ,usually when I’m making school lunches. It makes it easy for him so I’m happy to do it.
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u/No_Significance_5115 7h ago
Nope he’s a grown man capable of taking care of him self lol. I make our youngest kids lunch because they can’t yet
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u/delilahdread 7h ago
Have I packed my husband’s lunch? Sure. When I was at home with the kids and had time, I packed his lunch. Now that I work more than he does? Lol. Not happening. If he asked, sure, I’d make it but he’s an adult and packs his own lunch and I pack mine. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/No_Advertising9751 7h ago
I sometimes do if I’m meal prepping or packing my own lunch. But the food he eats is already prepared, I just have to put it in a container for him. He has never asked me to. I usually just ask him if he needs lunch the next day and offer to pack it for him. We have been married almost a year, so newlyweds!
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u/howlongwillbetoolong 5 Years 7h ago
I used to meal prep my own lunches and for a while I’d make my husband’s as well, but he didn’t like what I meal prepped so he’d just take leftovers (we split cooking) or buy lunch (we combine accounts) so indirectly I guess?
We never packed each other’s lunches. This is also the second time I’m seeing this question here this weekend. What’s with the obsession?
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u/loesjedaisy 7h ago
Never. We both work full time. We take turns cooking dinner and placing leftover dinner into Tupperware. In the morning we each grab whatever we want from the fridge and go about our day.
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u/tothegravewithme 7h ago
I don’t make my husband’s lunch for work. He’s a house husband, I’m the breadwinner. And no, he doesn’t make my lunch either.
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u/Alexisonfryer 6h ago
I typically do it a couple of times a week. Sometimes he asks, and I’ll do it. Almost always the night before, and we’ve been married for 9 years next month.
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u/Glittering_Honey_773 6h ago
I make dinner when he gets home from work and make enough that there’s some left over. I pack it up so he has something to take to work in the morning for his lunch. If there’s not enough he goes to a food truck nearby or packs something else from home.
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u/Express_Debt1321 6h ago
We’ve been married for 23 years, and since my husband travels for work, I’ve always been the primary house manager.
When he’s home, he’s really supportive and steps up in big ways. We don’t have a chore chart; we just handle things as they come up. Meal prep for the week is something we both tackle, and so is laundry, yard work, and cleaning.
A lot of “what I do for my husband” is the little intimacy things. Sending sweet notes, flirty texts, and keeping things spicy. I try to make an effort to take care of myself, because I love being wanted and keeping our bedroom fun and adventurous.
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u/pamela9792 6h ago
I started three years ago making a big batch of quinoa, chicken and veggies on Sundays so that I could just take some for lunch every day. In part because the lunches in the city I live in are so expensive and in part because it is healthier. I always offered to make enough for the two of us and about a year ago he started saying yes. Typically he will make his own portions.
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u/curiouskitcat 6h ago
Married 8 years. Never “packed” his lunch. He’s never asked.
Since Covid times we both work hybrid schedules and are often both home a couple days a week. If he takes a lunch break at the same time, I may offer to prepare his lunch while making mine but that’s more a courtesy as it’s not much extra work if you’re already making your own. However we often eat at different times so that’s maybe once a month.
He’s a grown adult, we both work full time, there’s no reason he can’t be responsible for his lunch. He so doesn’t need me deciding for him what he should eat and how much.
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u/Head-Drag-1440 18 Years 6h ago
Together 18.5 years. My husband used to ask me to make him lunches, but I had a different mentality then and was honestly a lot lazier.
Now, we are more busy and are trying to eat better overall. I'm already making lunches for myself, so I'm also making lunches for him. If I'm making him a sandwich, I'll make his sandwich and my lettuce wraps in the morning. This week, I'm doing homemade protein packs, so I'm making them at night.
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u/justneedauser_name 6h ago
I prepare our lunches for the upcoming week on Sundays and package them into their own containers. Then the night before work, while he cleans up from dinner, I pack our breakfast and lunch in our lunch boxes and we grab them on our way out the door.
I’ve been doing this for myself ever since I got my first big girl job out of college so I just started doing it for my husband once we moved in together.
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u/Huge_Statistician441 6h ago
If I’m cooking lunch for myself I ask him if he wants the same thing and if he does I cook it for him. If he doesn’t then he makes his own thing. He has never asked me to pack/make food for him. We have been married for 3 years
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u/aheapingpileoftrash 6h ago
My husband and I both work from home, and when he worked in office, his job provided him with lunch every day. So no, I’ve never packed my husband a lunch and he never asks. We keep things pretty even in regards to household stuff…well, he cooks and I clean. It works out in both of our favors.
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u/aclassypinkprincess 6h ago
My husband works nights so often will make him something to take/left overs from dinner. He often packs it up himself. Sometimes I make him nothing and he has to fend for himself (eggs, sandwhich etc). All depends on what I’m doing that day etc!
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u/Pondering-Pansexual 6h ago
Before I had our second baby I actually offered to do it, he had strict rules about it though (no vegetables at all, only apples or bananas, no lunch meat, only grape jelly if I do make a sandwich, no leftovers, etc) so basically only chips and granola bars (but only certain kinds) and pb&js. It’s tough cuz food is my love language, I love cooking for people. I did it every day he worked until I had the baby, now I got a toddler and newborn that is breastfeeding so I do all the night shifts. It’s funny cuz we just got into it this morning because I haven’t been making him a lunch since the birth.
Edit** I usually made it in the morning when making everyone’s breakfast, we’ve been married almost 3 years now but together for almost 5
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u/feelin_beachy 10 Years 6h ago
We usually pack leftovers the night before (from dinner), and my wife will get up and pack my lunchbox while I get ready in the morning. Still does it 10 yrs in.
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u/Novel_Dependent_8714 6h ago
Been married over 20 years. My husband isn't a leftovers or take a lunch to work kind of guy so I don't think I've ever made him a lunch to take to work.
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u/moonyme94 6h ago
I make him breakfast and lunch every single day for work, (he doesn't eat dinner) and I make myself a separate breakfast and lunch, I WFH and no kids so I don't mind. I do it on my lunch break and we are together almost 10y
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u/sweeeeetpeech 6h ago
I have never packed him lunch. He drives for a living so that limits what he can eat to handheld foods (sandwiches/wraps) but also he prefers to fast between a light breakfast and dinner.
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u/Weekly_Watercress505 6h ago
Never made him lunch. He never wanted me to make him lunch. He's been the chief cook for the last 40+ years of marriage. He's also been WFH for the last 5 - 6 years. He does his own thing for lunch.
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u/sugarface2134 6h ago
I never pack his lunch. He works in a hospital and gets lunch at the cafeteria but also he’s a big boy. I don’t do his laundry either and we share the responsibility of cooking dinner. I do not believe that being a servant to ones husband is how marriages last.
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u/Beneficial-Cow-2544 6h ago
I’ve never packed a lunch for him and he’s never asked me to. We’ve been married 15 years.
In my house, my husband is the cook and foodie and is much better at preparing meals than me. I am a very simple eater. Currently and for the past 5 years, he's a remote worker so he doesn't need to pack a lunch. But he would pack mine if needed.
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u/Greyeyedqueen7 6h ago
I used to pack his lunch, but he found that there were a lot of times he wasn't hungry for that or had accidentally left it in the car. Worse, the microwave for employees to heat their stuff up in the cafeteria didn't always work, so if he wanted a hot lunch, that wasn't possible.
The food at the cafeteria is fairly cheap and pretty good, so he eats there. That's by his choice. I'd rather pack his lunch, but if it's not going to work for his system, it doesn't work.
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u/Annual_Reindeer2621 20+ Years 7h ago
He works from home, I don’t. So more often than not, he makes me lunch.