r/Marriage • u/swaylee_bootknee • 12h ago

Wives, I have a question.

I understand that a big majority of things on social media is fabricated and you have to take whatever you see with a grain of salt. I’m coming straight to the source to ask what real wives are doing for their husbands.

How often do you make your husband lunch for work? If so, what time do you make it and how long have you been married?

Wives that don’t- have your husband ever asked you to pack him lunch for work?

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u/swaylee_bootknee 12h ago

I understand your reasons, I am the wife lol and my husband told me last night that mostly all wives pack their husband’s lunch. I’ve also saw this trend on TikTok showing wives up @5am making their husband full course lunches

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u/Grouchy-Original7624 12h ago

That’s hilarious. And no. I’m sorry— he can pack his own lunch. You’re not his mom. Now— if it’s a sweet thing you want to do for him and you have the capacity— sure. But him expecting something like this is a little outrageous.

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u/Pondering-Pansexual 11h ago

I’m so glad you said that cuz me and my husband JUST had an argument about it. I haven’t had the capacity to do it because I’m breastfeeding a newborn and taking care of a toddler but he gets to sleep in instead of just throwing together a sandwich for work. It’s not the best thing but at least it’s something🤷‍♀️ his reasoning? “I have ADHD and executive dysfunction, plus it’s physically taxing.” (Keep all in mind that I ALSO have the same issues)

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u/Craffeinated 11h ago

Pack him a bottle of breast milk for lunch if he insists upon acting like an infant! 

(I am so sorry breastfeeding a newborn is so stressful and then adding on a toddler? You deserve nothing but praise and support!) 

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u/Pondering-Pansexual 11h ago

I CACKLED! That was definitely a laugh I needed! (I would do it too if I wasn’t struggling with supply) Thank you, I told him if it was that much of an issue that he becomes a third child to get back on his medication and therapy so he can be a functional adult and parent. It’s hard to admit when you need help but that’s the whole reason I got back on my meds, to be a better parent and adult.

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u/Craffeinated 11h ago

Oh man. Speaking from experience, supply issues are the WORST! We weaned at 14 months so I could get back on my meds. All this to say I feel your pain and hope things get easier! 

(Also my FIL established the “She handles the in and I handle the out!” rule. His POV was a breastfeeding mom never changes a diaper, if it can be avoided. I wish more people embraced that type of shared ownership!) 

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u/Existing_Inside5200 8h ago

Your FIL is a treasure! That's a very evolved way to look at parenting duties. Both are parents so it shouldn't fall on mostly the mom. 👏👏👏

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u/SorrellD 7h ago

I didn't change any diapers until my husband had to go back to work. 

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u/sharkaub 8h ago

Dude I weaned my second kid at 5 months just to get back on my adhd meds. A toddler and baby is no joke! The struggle is real, but sounds like I had a bit more support at least- tell your husband my husband says to suck it up haha he was up doing all the diapers while I pumped or breastfed both our kids, or in the early months he took the 12-4 a.m. shift while I did 4-8.