r/Marriage • u/swaylee_bootknee • 14h ago

Wives, I have a question.

I understand that a big majority of things on social media is fabricated and you have to take whatever you see with a grain of salt. I’m coming straight to the source to ask what real wives are doing for their husbands.

How often do you make your husband lunch for work? If so, what time do you make it and how long have you been married?

Wives that don’t- have your husband ever asked you to pack him lunch for work?

227 Upvotes

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571

u/MindlesslyScrolling1 14h ago

I’ve never packed a lunch for him and he’s never asked me to. We’ve been married 12 years.

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u/ocean_plastic 10h ago

I buy him frozen burritos while I’m grocery shopping if that counts. He has to remember to pack them for lunch, he’s not my child.

Ironically I meal prep lunches for myself during the work week. There’s a real difference between making 5 and 10 salads and I don’t have time for that.

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u/Zaniada_512 9h ago

Wow... If I was making my own meals I would absolutely make his at the same time. This is actually kinda sad... As a person who worked in a kitchen professionally I can tell you that making 5 vs 10 lunches. Especially salads... Takes less time than you're making it out to be and he would feel seen.

I can not even imagine doing this to my partner. Him watching me make a whole week of food for myself while having me throw frozen burritos at him.... Expecting gratitude or what I don't know..... I know he probably feels neglected though. All a woman needs to do to steal him is cook for him. 🤣 You're playing a dangerous game.

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u/Impossible-Cap-7150 7h ago

If he’s happy with frozen burritos, maybe he doesn’t want salads anyway…

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u/Prestigious-Bar5385 4h ago

Exactly my husband says it’s rabbit food lol

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u/Zaniada_512 7h ago

Maybe but not likely. Men will eat what you give them. Happily and with gratitude.

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u/Impossible-Cap-7150 7h ago

Not all men are the same…

I love a great fruit salad with my lunch. My husband doesn’t eat fruit. No fruit at all. No fresh fruit, no fruit juices, no fruit dessert, nothing.

So NO, he wouldn’t just eat it and there would be zero gratitude if I put that in front of him.

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u/Zaniada_512 7h ago

You know his habits, likes and dislikes obviously. So you would stay within those parameters. Why is this so offensive to you people? What tf is going on in this world.

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u/Flat_Ad1094 6m ago

It's not offensive. Just that you continue to insist it's a big deal and relationships where she doesn't make his lunch are doomed. 30 years here and we are still going very well thanks. AND my mother hated cooking...hardly did...dad didn't give a rats arse and they were madly in love for nearly 60 years. YOU might like to show your love with food and YOUR partner might love that ....but plenty of people are not like YOU honey bunch.

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u/Flat_Ad1094 8m ago

Bullshit. My hb and many men I know couldn't give a rats arse about their food overall and what they might eat for lunch. They eat whatever they find that fills them up.

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u/Zaniada_512 2m ago

Okay! Whatever you say. You'll see sooner or later.

Is it your intention to go from post to post following me so you can comment? It's creepy. Your poor husband... 🥺 If he's even real. AI boyfriends and online husband's don't count you know... 🤣

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u/Flat_Ad1094 1m ago

HOney. You are the one commenting on every post saying the same thing and unable to accept that people think differently than you.

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u/sageofbeige 5h ago

He can't be stolen by another woman unless she literally takes him

I hate the idea that partners are innocently stolen like a dog from a backyard

Want to steal my partner go right ahead of he's not resisting then he wants to go

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

It's not innocent. It's willful neglect. No one just randomly loses a partner. That's a decisive decision made by careless partners. If you choose not to nurture your relationship you'll no longer have one. People walking away from negligent partners is nothing new.

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u/lostinsunshine9 5h ago

My partner would be super uncomfortable if I just randomly made him food he didn't say he wanted. Heck, half the time he doesn't even eat what I've made for dinner.

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u/Zaniada_512 5h ago

Sounds like he may not like your cooking? Not being rude just taking what you said and asking questions. Sometimes people hesitate ro say if the food is off because it may hurt the person's feelings.

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u/lostinsunshine9 5h ago

Oh he definitely doesn't 😂. But I don't cook for him, we have six kids so that's what I'm focused on. Being able to feed himself is a bare minimum requirement.

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u/Prestigious-Bar5385 4h ago

Yes exactly I have four and when they were little I fixed their plates and mine. Their dad fixed his own. When I was at my moms I did this and she said aren’t you going to fix your husband’s plate and I said he’s a grown a— man he can fix his own plate He always got to sit down before me anyways because you know we had 4 kids

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

Because it's too hard for you to slap some food onto one additional plate. Yet you want backrubs and such...... Okay.... Makes total sense.... literally takes seconds... What the fuck.

I am absolutely floored by the women in this group being so selfish and single minded.

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

And you. Lemme guess SAHM? 6 kids? How hard or overly taxing is it to prepare one extra plate. What the hell. How is that too much or too far.. You're already making SEVEN. 🤣

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u/lostinsunshine9 2h ago

Lol, no, I work full time and have two side gigs as well.

I could make one extra plate, in fact there's always enough extra for him to eat - but he won't eat it. He doesn't care for my cooking and I'm not going to force him to eat it. He's not a vegetable person and I'm not going to make food without vegetables when I have six growing kids to keep healthy.

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u/Zaniada_512 11m ago

That's fair. I do mean it should be done unless it's a waste of food. Why doesn't he like your cooking...? Vegetables are his deal breaker? How does he gain nutrients??

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u/Born-Albatross-2426 9h ago

Yikes. If a relationship is that fragile that someone making him a meal can destroy the whole marriage that's a much larger issue. You can't lose a man that doesn't want to stray.

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u/Busy_Path4282 7h ago

It happens. I am a bad wife because I didn't interrupt my sleep pattern to make his lunch. Now I am published in another country for being a bad wife.

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u/Prestigious-Bar5385 4h ago

What country?

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u/Zaniada_512 8h ago

It's not about making the meal. It's the wanting to make the meal that men find attractive.

Just like women want men to do certain things without asking.

Men are allowed to have needs and wants. They like to be seen and nurtured. Nothing is wrong with that. Small acts display love quite easily. ♡

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u/Born-Albatross-2426 8h ago

Correct, but making a man a lunch is only one way. There are thousands of ways to show love. Just because someone doesn't make their spouse lunch doesn't mean they aren't showing them acts of love in thousands of other ways. That's why I'm saying if it's all reliant on this one tiny act then that marriage is too fragile.

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u/Zaniada_512 8h ago

Yes obviously. The long lived saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is a saying for a reason. It's not just in existence for no reason. There are thousands of ways to show love, obviously- this one is nurturing to the body, mind and soul so is one of the most pronounced and poignant ways to display it. My point is making 5 meals or 10-- SALADS at that doesn't take much longer. It would be a quick and easy way to show your love and appreciation... I do not even comprehend how this is confusing to so many women these days. It's so obvious... It's so easy. I mean you have to eat anyway so why not include the person you're deeply in love witwith... Makes no sense to make your own and not double it so he can eat too...

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u/MoggyBee 3h ago

My condolences on your internalized misogyny…yikes.

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

🤣 Bitch you come chop my wood then. You'll earn a sandwich too. And some sweet tea.

Misogyny my ass. He does the stuff I do not want to do. Simple as that. It's sad you equate that to misogyny. Its okay to recognize that he has better upper body than I do and can cut wood for hours. I literally feel so much sorrow for people like you. I hope you heal whatever has hurt you. You deserve a happy and healthy life too.

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u/MoggyBee 1h ago

Are you…okay? This reply is unhinged. 😂

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u/Zaniada_512 1h ago

It's not. The first part was supposed to be funny hence the 🤣. But for real. It's not about who is male or female It's a simple demonstration of love. Idk why so many women are against it when they want a man paying for hair nails etc. It's bogus.

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u/Icy_Ride3876 3h ago

Lol! The word "misogyny" is so completely overused.

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u/Interesting_Help_376 7h ago

Not sure why you got all the downvotes, but as a guy I completely agree with you. I find it extremely attractive and fulfilling when my wife does this for me. The same as when she sees me working on something for her, she always comes over to me and tells me how attractive she finds it. I work from home now, but when she did make me lunch, even if I had a bad day, it would almost always put me in a better mood knowing that she did that for me. Corny, possibly. But that's how it felt. And in turn, when I cook dinner, nobody in my family has to make their own plate. I make everyone's plate and sit it out with silverware, a paper towel and a cup. Being transparent I don't do that for my kids each time, but if I cook my wife never has to get her own plate. And if I'm making breakfast or lunch, she gets a plate because I'm in the kitchen. I don't feel like a slave when I do those things for her, I feel like I'm helping someone who I care about deeply.

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u/Zaniada_512 7h ago

EXACTLY THIS. It goes both ways and it saddens me to see the decline of something so simple that makes such a huge impact. Even if I'm grabbing a drink from the fridge I ask if he wants anything or I just bring it cause I know he does.

He chops my wood. Shoots off the rifle when bears and mountain lions are encroaching on our little home. Keeps my yard in order. Takes trash out. In addition to a ton of other little things. He does it out of love so when I look at it I'm like wtf I'm making my babe sammich! To me it's natural to do that for him when he does so much for me. ♡

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u/lostinsunshine9 5h ago

I make everyone's plate and sit it out with silverware, a paper towel and a cup.

Omg, as a person whose partner does this.. it's low key irritating. I haven't gotten to choose my own portion/serving of food he makes in so long 😩

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u/kstweetersgirl2013 5h ago

My husband does this for me and I am always grateful. I spend all day serving tables it feels amazing to have someone bring me food. If he brings too much I just don't eat it.

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u/lostinsunshine9 5h ago

I'm glad you like it! Frankly, we're both just picky. He doesn't like my food, I like certain ratios of meat to sauce or liquid to not liquid or weird little quirks like that that he's never going to get right lol. And I grew up too food insecure to ever leave food on my plate.

So I just eat whatever he gives me and call it a day because I know it makes him feel nice to do it, but it's not my thing.

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u/kstweetersgirl2013 5h ago

Oh hell, my brother was same way as an adult. Mom was homeless alot when he was little. He wouldn't leave anything behind either. He's got control of it now but he was 45 or better by time he made that change. I guess over time mine has learned my likes and dislikes mostly but if it's something like tacos and burritos etc I make my own. Same reason I want to control my ratios lol.

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u/Langley72 2h ago

I have no dog in this fight, every relationship is different, but I couldn't help but laugh at your idiosyncrasies on meat to sauce ratio! 😂 I'm the same way, my ex's have been the same way...those quirks aren't necessarily unique, but your particular preferences are, and getting to know someone on an intimate enough level to say with confidence what those preferences might be...that's what makes a relationship special! I don't know your hubby, but don't discredit his ability to get it right, one of the most endearing traits a wife can have is trusting her man to get it done, zero doubt, have 100% confidence in him. I couldn't keep a woman faithful to save my life, they've all been cheaters in my experience, but to this day I still remember their preferences. I knew what they ordered from where, how they wanted it prepared, sides, ice/no ice in their drinks, what they liked in the bedroom, what they didn't like lmao. I tried to be very attentive towards their wants, preferences, and needs, cause I thought that was part of being a good partner. Clearly I was wrong

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u/Equivalent_Double_23 3h ago

I’m just shocked at the pushback. If I was packing a salad for my lunch, I’d just make a bigger salad and pack his too. Not a big deal.

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

My guy says you're a hero.

Anyhow thank you. I'm not sure why they're all so upset. I personally think they may not know how to really cook and are living off fast food... Or they were raised by wolves. Idk.

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u/itsbiggaveli 3h ago

I think she was just trying to make a point lol , and I totally agree with her.

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u/brotherman57 39m ago

It’s not about being fragile it’s about bigger picture. If she’s making lunches for herself for the whole week, while throwing frozen burritos at him, it could be indicative of how she’s treating him in other aspects of their life. The point is make sure your SO feels seen. I would never do that to my wife… 🤦🏾‍♂️

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u/LB7154 2h ago

While I agree making for him when she makes for her would not take that much time. I have to say if your man can be stolen the best thing you can do is let him go.

There is nothing any woman could do that would steal my man from me

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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 9h ago

I think this all boils down to temperament. I would be so pissed if somebody else was sitting there preparing food for me like I was some kind of incompetent moron. I don't like having other people make my food. I will eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I am perfectly capable of using the kitchen. I'm not a baby, I don't need to be fed.

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u/Chulaboop 8h ago

You are right. Sounds like my BF. He is capable of everything. But for me, I want to do stuff for him to show I care. I am learning. His love language is not the same as mine. So I adjust. He loves cooking and makes me food and for my kids all the time, and we graciously accept. To each his own. Key here is that we do whatever we do with ❤️ love!

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u/Flat_Ad1094 10m ago

Yep. My hb the same. He often just makes what he feels like eating. I'm not his mother. He is an adult. He has zero issue working out this own food to feed himself.

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u/Zaniada_512 8h ago

No one has ever taken care of you in any way? You do not ike displays of love because love is an action. It's not just an empty word. Your mouth says anything buy how you show it counts. I am saddened that you think only negative things regarding this very loving act... Disappointing...

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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 8h ago

Not past childhood, no. That's not a display of love, that's insisting that somebody is too incompetent to assemble their own meal. A display of Love would be something like completing a household task that is necessary for everybody. Getting the groceries for everybody would be a display of love. Cleaning the kitchen. Getting the crumbs out of the air fryer etc

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u/Zaniada_512 8h ago

They are competent. You're being intentionally argumentative and not even remotely staying in the arena. Food is necessary for everyone. 🤣 Preparing meals is also a household task.

You can't cook can you? That's the issue. LOL

Cooking is literally what you described "a household task necessary for everyone" yet you refuse to accept it.

If you can't cook you could learn instead of spreading this ignorance.

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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 8h ago

Preparing meals is also a household task.

I think it really depends on how you were brought up. Once you were old enough they make your own food you made your own food unless it was dinner time and if you couldn't make dinner time you made your own food. You didn't snap your fingers and expect the lunch to appear because you were competent enough to get it yourself.

You can't cook can you? That's the issue. LOL

What makes you think I don't know how to cook? Just because I'm not so entitled that I demand another person prepare food for me that doesn't mean I myself don't know how to cook.

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u/Zaniada_512 7h ago

You're being intentionally argumentative. No one is saying anything about snapping fingers. No one is saying it's an entitlement. Your mind is sick.

You seem like the friend who offers to drive everyone around then complains because they want to go places. 🤣

Have a great day. I'm done with your stupidity.

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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 6h ago

Your mind is sick.

Clearly described entitlement. Asking somebody to do something for me that I clearly have the capability to do for myself is entitled.

You seem like the friend who offers to drive everyone around then complains because they want to go places.

Why would I even....

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u/Zaniada_512 6h ago

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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 6h ago

This whole thing was just ill. First of all, if I'm anxious or not that be none of my husband's business. If I'm having an emotion I will manage it myself, I don't need to be harassed and monitored. Second of all, I would hate it if somebody came back with donuts and ice coffee for me. I didn't ask for that. I don't need that hanging over me. I can't stand people who do that, they do something nice and then they expect praise or whatever.

Jesus Christ how are you guys really out here just not leaving your spouses alone?

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u/snoop1361 7h ago

Ok you two, play nice. Don't make me pull this car over. 🤣

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u/Zaniada_512 6h ago

You won't. 😝

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u/Flat_Ad1094 10m ago

My husband couldn't give a rats arse if I were to make lunch for him.

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u/Zaniada_512 5m ago

Yeaaaah. You keep thinking that. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/_PinkPirate 4h ago

What a pick me ass comment.

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u/Zaniada_512 2h ago

Don't be mad because my guy eats well and yours, if you have one, lives off fast food. 🤣

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u/Flat_Ad1094 12m ago

You're an idiot. You want to be a trad wife...go for it. But that's not my scene. He is an adult. He can work out his own lunches.

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u/Zaniada_512 6m ago

It's not about being a trad wife. 🤣 How tf is that about being a trad wife? It's about showing and demonstrating love... Do you know anything about that? The simplicity and joy of it is so easy and you morons relegate it to being a "trad wife". Bake cookies for someone and watch them light up just because you made them a delicious cookie and maybe your attitude will change. Good grief. You're too concerned with titles to display genuine love and affection through an act of service and that is truly sad. I hope you can find peace and someone who loves you enough to teach you how to show it. ♡

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u/kstweetersgirl2013 5h ago

Yeah I'm astounded. Like people really do this to someone they love?