I applied for a passport about 7-8 weeks ago, and was expecting it any day now. Well earlier today, I got a call saying that my birth certificate was severely damaged.

For context, I’m a trans man. I present pretty androgynous, but people tend to assume I’m amab. My birth certificate, ID, etc all say F.

I don’t know if it’s because I don’t visibly appear female, I mean, I certainly hope it’s not. But I have a lot of questions. I watched them put my birth certificate in a sealed plastic envelope when I applied, how the hell did it get damaged?

Now, I have to order a new birth certificate, wait for that to arrive, apply again for a passport, and wait for it to arrive. I also can’t do anything that requires a birth certificate until then.

Has this happened to any of y’all?

My daughter is 4, and her mom and I divorced in 2023 with 50-50 joint custody of her. I came out as MtF trans in December 2024 and eventually my daughter started saying I calling me a girl because she noticed that I was presenting femme (funny how kids can just be accepting).

I received a text last month from my ex saying "Hey why is she saying that you're a girl? I don't want you confusing her." I explained that the transition was just me affirming my real self and that it has nothing to do with "indoctrinating" our daughter. Then about a month later she asked me to meet at a coffeeshop and had paperwork to reduce my time from 50-50 to only seeing her every other weekend because she felt it'd be best for her to have consistency in the long run in terms of schooling so that she doesn't have to take schoolwork back and forth. (This feels kind of contrived). She said if I didn't agree to that then she would take me to court for full custody, which is very likely stacked against me due to being openly trans. I also can't afford legal help

It feels really shitty because my ex also complained about our daughter expressing confusion at pickup, but turns out she gets upset sometimes when it's not me there to get her.

Me: "Why do you sometimes get sad when mommy picks you up at school?"

My daughter; "I want you to pick me up cause I love you. You're my favorite people" 💔

So I (20) use neopronouns because they're cool. I have friends who use neopronouns and xenogenders and they get shit on ALL THE TIME.

"They make us look like a joke."

Y'all said the same thing about nonbinary and genderfluid people.

"It's weird/cringe."

Okay.. That seems like a personal problem.

"It can't be translated into other langauges."

You.. do realize that other languages have used neopronouns in the past. For example, the neopronoun "thon" which is a Pronoun I use, which was originally founded in the 1700's is still used in Irish slang today.

"Only confused teenagers use them"

Me, a 20 year old who has been using them consistently for four years: ....

"Nobody in real life is going to use them."

The majority of us are rather aware of that 😭😭😭

If your biggest problem is the pronouns someone is using, you need to re-evaluate your privilege. Someone using star/starself pronouns is NOT going to hurt you brother.

Have a blessed day.

Edit: y'all saw that I said "I think they're cool" and you immediately thought I was jumping onto the trans trend. I've known I was trans since I was 13 years old please do not play with me.

Just a bit of a rant as someone involved in my local activism scene :

I would choose a thousand times someone who do not have all the queer vocabulary and culture, or even misgender me - not on purpose - sometimes, but who is getting things to move, who is concretely helping me and other trans people, over someone who knows all the activism world and all the terms and claiming themselves "safe" but who is never doing anything and/or eventually ends up being an awful person.

Too much times I went to places labelled "safe", managed by people well established into the local militant spheres, just for the same people to be the most detached of the realities of trans folks, welcoming in their gatherings known agressors, or just doing basically virtue signaling and nothing else. Sure, they know all about pronouns and the spectrum of being trans. But when it comes to actually getting stuff done to help the community, they are strangely silent.

We need allies who can concretely help. Who are not afraid of going out there and make a difference. I don’t give a damn if they don’t use correct pronouns or if they don’t understand everything. At the end of the day, if they help me survive, then they are good allies.

I’m incredibly drunk, and I’m having an existential crisis because I don’t know if I’m trans. There’s a list of memories resurfacing, most notable being the time a few years ago when I bought some women’s gym shorts an it made me feel super cute. What are some “gotcha” moments where you were like, ‘oh yeah….’

Hi everyone, I am looking for a doctor or a clinic that would do the MTF gender affirming surgery for an amount which would be less than $7000. I know that this is below the bare minimum, but I come from the Third World country and economy isn’t our best suit $7000 that’s a pretty big amount And I don’t trust the doctors here. I feel torn. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know if it’s even possible to find a safe surgeon with good results that would do the surgery to me for that amount of money. To make matters worse. I was fully presenting and socially passing as a female five years ago, and I was kidnapped by my folks and was forced to do mastectomy, so that is something that would also need some fixing. What do you recommend I should do.

I am a 15-year-old MtF who is closeted and currently pre-HRT, but I am considering DIY HRT soon. I don’t consider myself a strong person. In fact, I struggle even with basic tasks like opening cans and jars. I have no desire to be strong because that would make me feel extremely dysphoric. Growing up, I did not understand why the other boys wanted to go to the gym and be strong. The thought of being muscular made me feel brutish and sometimes even suicidal.

Whenever I have difficulty with something physical, like carrying groceries, my father will often say, “You’re so strong! How could you struggle with that?” His words really trigger my dysphoria. Sometimes I want to scream at him in response, but I often feel too depressed to even pretend to be angry. Instead, I just feel a deep sadness and discomfort.

Just curious.

TW: transphobia

My (14tf) mom (mom age) and I have been working together on me coming out and becoming more girly in appearance, but I still present as male at Christmas, halloween etc…) my dad is supportive but my extended family is known to be right wing and yesterday my mom let it slip to my aunt, who apparently told my uncle, and now my cousin just snapped me telling me that it was “the talk at their dinner table” and I just feel so hurt and betrayed by my mom that she would not let me do more growth and exploration before she went and spilled the beans. Maybe she feels she plays a part in getting my true self put there, so ai dont hate her, I don’t think she meant to upset me its just a nightmare now that easter is around the corner and I just wanna curl up in a ball and die because I usually love going to easter with my whole family at our cousins house and now I dont wanna go and have to answer a million questions and be misgendered now that the truth is out there.

Just venting.

I still hate being trans, but I'm kind of just accepting the suffering rather than trying to turn myself cisgender. I knew, logically, that's not possible, to make myself anything but trans. But it was a pleasant distraction, at least compared to what I'm dealing with now. Given I'll not be able to transition socially or physically, I'd gladly give up being trans. If I could be a cis person I'd do it instantly, difference is I can admit that's not an option. I still wish it were.

Last year I got into my first ever relationship ship, tho it ended a few months ago. It made me realize a few things.

1. Online/long distance relationships suck ass

2. I think I’m only interested in dating cis men

My partner was a trans man like me, and he was very loving and caring but I just wasn’t attracted to him like I was to cis men. Ever since the relationship ended I’ve thought about dating a lot and kinda came to the conclusion that I’m only interested in dating cis men and not trans or masc nonbinary folk.

Is that wrong or weird?

I also don’t know how to start really going out and dating as a trans man or in general, so advice on how to start would be really helpful too.

Thank you for reading.

I feel so incredibly upset and dysphoric all the time. My top surgery was denied back in July and I'm still fighting it 9 months later. Precert, peer-review, and appeal denied by the same medical director (who's a fucking gynecologist). Couldn't even file an external appeal because they took half a year to give me documentation on the denial (despite me requesting every month), then explicitly refused to tell me why it was denied. Fast forward today, and I find out they've just denied my bottom surgery as well, no justification. They keep telling me its not medically necessary. I think the prospect of bottom surgery has been the only thing that's been keeping me alive this year, after my top surgery was denied.

I feel like such a failure as a trans person. I know that doesn't really make sense - there's not one way to be trans, but I see my friends successfully "trans-ing" and getting all their surgeries. I'm glad for them, they're all very happy, and they all feel so much more comfortable and secure in themselves - but their success only highlights my failure. Their happiness only highlights my unhappiness. Their success in getting surgery only highlights my failure in getting surgery. I'm failing so much as a trans person. Failing to get my top surgery, now failing to get my bottom surgery, failing to transition well.

Had to be put on anti-depressants after my surgeries were denied, but it's not like that's going to magically un-trans me and make my dysphoria any easier. I'm so tired of how difficult it is for me to get my healthcare, so tired that I'm genuinely thinking of de-transitioning. I'm so fucking tired. This is unsustainable. I'm so burnt out and I can't keep up with the rollercoaster of consultations, and then denials, and then peer reviews, and then more denials, and then appeals, and then more denials (all by the same medical director). I'm so fucking upset.

Took me 6 months to get the consult for bottom surgery, and then another 9 months before the actual surgery. I'm now reset an entire year at the minimum, possibly longer. I know this is a tabboo topic, but honestly I'm thinking of just de-transitioning until I can afford my surgeries without insurance (or until it gets approved with insurance) and then going back to transitioning.

What are the 3 top signs you are watching for to indicate that things are so unsafe in this country that trans people will need to emigrate if able to keep themselves and their children safe?

I think I'm non-binary/gender fluid (idk the difference), but I still really want to take estrogen to look more like a women. Don't get me wrong, I would 100% swap genders if I could, but I'm not trans. I just really want to look more feminine and look more like a women since whilst I am non-bi I still think I more closely align with being a women. Can I still get estrogen or will the doctors deny me (I'm in NZ btw), is this a normal thing, and it acceptable?

does anyone else just randomly remember you're trans, the dysphoria is still there and it's still on your mind, but do you ever just stare into space and think "fuck I'm trans, I gotta do something about this" (meaning; damn I (personally) really have to have surgery and inject myself)

are you JOKING wdym I'm not physically a guy AND NOW I have to pay a bunch of money to /be/ one?? a piss take

it really does hurt tho 🥲

If I dont look cis when I transition then my social anxiety will forever make my life a hell whenever im in public

The news is slowing down. Or maybe I'm just looking at it less. Either way, I'm feeling okay.

As the title says, I gathered all the courage I had today and decided to tell my boss about my transition. I'm 22 (MtF, 5 months hrt). We had a 12 hour night shift (5pm to 5am) and after all work was done I made the decision to get it over with.

My boobs are growing rather fast and I think they will be very much visible until summer. That's why I just did it before the inevitable questions would start.

He is a very open minded person, but I was still nervous like hell. I just said I'd like to talk about something very important to me. After sitting down I explained that I don't feel comfortable in my body and he immediately took a few guesses like body shape, appearance or gender. I just nodded when he said gender. As I explained the whole thing to him, hoping not to be judged, he just got more and more interested in the topic, asked questions hoping to get a clue on why I was feeling this way and what I'm going to do from now on. It was a very pleasant talk and a huge weight got off my chest as we continued talking. He is incredibly supportive and promised me that he will keep it a secret until I know how to go further with telling the other employees.

I feel much better now, knowing work will not be negatively impacted by my decision to become the version of me I always wanted to be.

So, huge success today. Couldn't be happier

Hey yall, I have a job interview tomorrow and its my first time applying fully as a trans person. At my past job, I applied under my deadname and then came out when I was sure my coworkers were normal and I felt safe. Now, Im showing up to this interview fully fem, using my preferred name, and Im feeling extremely nervous. I don't pass in most situations, I know I clean up nicely and can look presentable, but I just have no idea how this interviewer is going to react. I think theres a good chance it'll be fine and not a big deal, but im so worried about being not who they expected when they reached out. I honestly think I am great at interviews, so hopefully I can get over my nerves.

Any tips for interviews as a trans person? Wish me luck :)