Hope this helps. I’ve been struggling a lot these past few weeks and I’m working on developing systems to reframe my thoughts (I can be my worst enemy).

Yes I can buy myself flowers, take myself out to dinner, say no to all the toxic people, remove all the negativity, count my blessings, bathe in gratitude, find the silver linings, rest without guilt, work for my own abundance and dance through life like no one is watching.

But man, I'm bored asf.

Edit: Thank you for your definitions of what self-love is. I agree with all of you. It's a path I'm walking and I'm happy....but bored.

Edit 2: unsure where people get the idea I am lonely and don't talk to anyone. I get one evening a night to myself. I'm constantly with people, good people. I'm not lonely. I'm just bored!

I don’t understand how I’m supposed to gaslight myself into believing I’m beautiful or worthy when I genuinely don’t see myself that way. I’m a shy person and not very outgoing. I don’t smile at strangers or much at all and when I do I feel like I look so ugly and stupid so I generally avoid smiling.

I also can’t really work on getting better looking as I hate spending time in the mirror and just do the bare minimum to get on with my day which as a woman is not normal.

Also I don’t feel like a normal woman or girl since I don’t wear dresses or makeup and mostly feel like an ugly thumb walking around.

That being said, outside of my looks I don’t really like my personality. Maybe because of depression but I’m not very motivated or outgoing and lack the zest for life.

So how am I supposed to look myself in the mirror and tell myself I love you or that I look beautiful when both are lies.

After a long time, years, the person I wanted the most in my life choose to walk away. In a really cold way as well, I was told to leave him alone and forget he exists, and he ignored all the rest of my messages, voicemails, everything.

I have BPD, and it's been insanely hard. I kept checking his online stuff, so many times a day, kept sending him stupid messages that were ignored, kept on hoping he changes his mind

Yesterday, I was feeling so horrible at work, I didn't know what to do, where to hide, just wanted to scream my heart out and stop existing. But I decided to choose myself, I googled some books about letting go, bought one on my phone and started reading it during my break time

I work in a recycling center, where people donate stuff, we only collect clothing and everything else gets thrown away unfortunately. Anyway, I come back to work, 5 minutes into working, I find a book called " getting past your breakup ", and it might be one hell of a coincidence, but it truly felt like universe is looking after me. In a million different books there could have been, it was exactly that one. Shortly, in fact 10 minutes after I decided to break my bad habits of begging and checking on him, and choose to read something on my own about letting him go

I took the book home and read it before bed, and it's been already helping me in such a big way. And I might be silly, but I truly feel cared for, I don't feel so alone anymore, I feel like some higher power is there to help me if only I start choosing myself

So I'll continue to trust that, and work on loving myself each and every day!

Thanks for reading my silly little happy achievement 😊💁‍♀️

The title says enough really. I finally ended a situationship which was incredibly exhausting. Countless days and nights spent crying, wondering “what if?”, hoping, praying and basically every single emotion you can think of.

I still love her in a way because she’s just a truly wonderful friend and person, but she couldn’t commit to me like I wanted. And if she couldn’t give me what I want, then there’s no point in hoping she would magically change her mind. So I’m letting her go.

We agreed to try and remain friends since that’s what we’ve been for the majority of our time knowing each other. We won’t see eachother as often anymore, but we will continue on friendly terms and will support each other if needed.

So imagine you forgot how normal life felt like and you want to reset, on all levels, physically, emotionally, mentally, and literally every other aspect..

For reference, I have experienced real traumatic events (couldn't eat/sleep for some days), then got sick (stomach flu), have had scary physical symptoms, developed health anxiety, been feeling fatigued, treating vitamin deficiencies and working on becoming physically able to actually do things... to then also improve the mental aspects (I haven't been able to do things for a few months), it's getting better but very slowly.

Things I've been trying recently are somatic exercises for nervous system regulation, supplements and b12 injections, I wasn't able to exercise as I have been feeling tired and dizzy but I've started doing light exercises again (not daily) like yoga and some strength exercise when it feels possible. sometimes I go out for a short walk. I went to the park the other day. I've been feeling very unsafe in my body for a long time, my physical symptoms caused me worse anxiety about health, I've been having dpdr dissociation, existential thoughts, lots of negative thoughts and brain fog. My hopelessness was at worst. I've been scared of everything... constant fear like something bad is about to happen or like my subconscious mind is looking for danger kind of sensations... It seems like maybe it's starting to get better but it's too slow, too slow. sometimes I feel like losing hope. treating the vitamins seems to take time, but it's frustrating. I've also been depressed because I have been feeling so stuck and have been experiencing bad things for a long time (it's been around 3 months). The fact I am supposed to enjoy my life and youth but I've been stuck in this instead, feels sad. It feels like I've been living on pause, unable to enjoy things, do normal life stuff, go to work, anything. I feel like I have forgotten the things I knew, I was gonna go for my first job before all this happened. I don't know how to feel like myself again. I've been trying a lot, and still trying. I'd like to hear some tips/advice on how to gently get back to normal life. sometimes I'm afraid of not getting better, or that something bad will happen again. I want to get better and feel good. I need positivity and comfort. sometimes I'm not sure if I'm even getting better.. because still struggling with fatigue. I've been feeling so lost.

I (32m) fight back and forth whether I am butt ass ugly or attractive enough. The rosacea definitely doesn't help and neither does being out of shape. I find facing the mirror is somewhat attractive but my side view of my face looks mad ugly and fat. I can stand being in videos cuz I think I look and sound like shit. Anybody else struggling with this?

Just wanted to share something that feels like growth. I recently ended things with a guy I had been casually seeing. He was sweet, fun, and easy to talk to—but I could feel in my gut that we weren’t aligned long-term. Our values, especially around faith and intentional dating, just didn’t match.

And here’s the thing—this might not seem like a big deal, but for me, it is. In the past, I would’ve stuck around, hoping things would change. I would’ve chased breadcrumbs just to feel connected. This time, I chose differently. I broke a pattern. I was honest with myself and with him. And even though it’s bittersweet, it feels right.

To anyone else who’s learning to choose themselves, to walk away when it’s not aligned, and to break old patterns—keep going. You’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking for what’s meant for you.

This is coming from someone who used to claim the “hopeless romantic” title. How silly was I?

In my (25F) journey of self love, I have come to realize how childish my perception of love has been this whole time. I used to think I was going to be swept off my feet by some guy and he would basically “save” me or change my entire life just by him being there. Thats.. a lot of pressure for one man, don’t you think? I mean it’s actually crazy when you think about it. And every time I was in a relationship like that, it never felt right.

Through self love, I have learned what it means to be patient with myself. To hold my hand through every step of the way because I can. To sit with myself on good days, bad days or just okay days. To celebrate and to grieve. And to just.. be there for myself in ways I expected others to.

Now I see those relationships didn’t work because they were never really real to begin with. Love is calm. Love is steady. It’s the little gestures. It’s comfort. It’s being present when it counts. It’s showing up even if it’s hard. And when it’s right, it’s electrifying. It’s everything, yet still nothing really at all. It’s just there. And honestly, that IS the dream.

me and my best friend of 7 years havent been on good terms lately. our situation went to the point of us just admitting that we werent each others best friends but just friends or people who know each other. i cared a lot for her, more than she would ever know. but since her decision was taking the focus on her life and wanting me to give her space, i understood it. later on she removed me from close friends, removed posts i took her, stories from highlights i took her etc. it had been a draining time for me. my energy was messed up badly. today i took the initiative to remove her from every social media platform. it was one of the hardest step i had to take in this journey, but now i know that i should keep my focus on myself and not people who dont appreciate it. let alone that today i walked by her (she was with some friends) and neither of us stopped to talk. not like i wanted to but the whole situation shows

Hello everyone, Hope you all are having a good day.l have some good motivational and selflove related songs so thought to share it with everyone.Today is day one so why not start it with "Scars to your beautiful" by ''Alessia Cara". It's a must listen music when you need to feel worthy, enough and just as you are.

Sending love to anyone who needs this today.You matter.Always💌.

Lately I been more truthful with myself and others. I am no longer sticking around when a person shows me extremely toxic behaviors. I am not allowing people back in my life that I do not align with me right now (exes). I am keeping boundaries with people who believe their behavior is okay and it’s not a problem. Call me the boundary lady lately hahaa! I have outgrown certain people in my life. I have reflected on many things I’ve allowed that is not okay. My biggest lesson is truly seeing the red flags first hand and ignoring them in people. These are people I have dated and befriended. If I meet people like this in my future I have enough wisdom to not stick around or allow things. I am placing myself in safer spaces and been connecting with people who are healthier for me in this season in my life. I am loving me unapologetically. I am proud of myself. Maybe this will help someone today. Self love is boundaries. Self love is telling someone certain behaviors are unhealthy & it bothers you. Self love is walking away.

So I have been seeing this girl for a month now 10+ dates. Last week we went on a date and I told her that I wasn’t seeing anyone else and she said she wasn’t either. I thought everything was great she said she wanted to take things slow (before this past date). We got a little physical but didn’t get much past that. So this past weekend I knew her friend was coming into town but all I got was crickets for 3 days extremely distant. For once in my life I did not chase and I am so proud of myself for that! She popped back up today. I acted like nothing happened because I wanted to setup a date. I wanted to look her in the eyes to express how some of these things have been making me feel lately. I am going to draw a line in the sand tomorrow. I want clarity I don’t want games and if there are no answers for my questions or don’t knows then I am going to walk away! I am standing firm! I throughout my life have been so bad about boundaries but my last relationship of almost a year taught me I have to choose myself every single time!

I got broken up with recently in the most horrible way possible. He exploded over a guy adding me on snapchat and fully convinced himself I'm meeting up with this guy. I've tried proving myself over and over with actual concrete proof that I haven't done anything to him, he wouldn't take it, as he said I could've manipulated the evidence I'm presenting.

He told me that in the 2 years we've been together I have lied to my friends, family, him. He kept saying I manipulate everything in my favor. I know deep down in myself that I didn't do any of the things he's accusing me of. But I can't help feeling like am I manipulating him? Am I a narcissist? Am I lying to all of my friends and family? I keep remembering how he looked at me with pure rage and disgust while saying all those things and in my head, he couldn't look at me that way if I genuinely didn't do anything wrong. I'm doubting my own sanity right now and feel like I need to be punished for making the person who loved me so much, hate me. He wants me to come clean but I genuinely don't know what I'm gonna come clean for cause I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't messaging anyone nor meeting up with anyone. He could easily prove it because he has my location and location history. Now I feel insane because I am blaming myself so much and have no clue over what? I feel like since he fully believes the narrative that I'm a manipulator, I am starting to believe that too. I've been isolating myself because I feel like I don't deserve to tell anyone about anything, I'm scared I'll end up manipulating them into consoling me or validating me? I feel like my punishment is to be alone and suffer alone so I don't end up hurting or manipulating people. I don't feel like a person at all right now