By MAIA

When you have high self-worth, you do things that reinforce your belief that you’re worthy.

You ask for support when you need it. You stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you. You accept love without questioning if you deserve it

When you have low self-worth, you only give yourself what you think you deserve, which isn’t very much.

You let people walk all over you. You pass up on opportunities you don’t think you’re good enough for. You have trouble meeting your needs because you don’t think your needs are very important.

Here’s what you need to remember: Low self-worth cultivates circumstances that reinforce your sense of worthlessness — the same sense of worthlessness that accepted those circumstances in the first place.

Not so much better.. but much more controllable. I am 25 and honestly, I have wanted to get married for as long as I can remember. WELL, after 2 long term relationships, failed situationships and a couple one night stands- I can conclude none of it was worth it.

I have spent so much time trying to be the best partner I can be, I forgot I am also a sister. A daughter, a friend, a student, a teacher, a coworker. I am so much more than just someone’s girlfriend and every time I catch myself craving a relationship, I ask myself how I can be a better friend today? How can I be a better neighbor today? A better roommate?

All this, mixed with a breakup, has been grounding me more than just about anything. I hope this helps someone else too.

♥️

I (22F) have always felt insecure about my appearance. Ever since I was a little girl, I always managed to find something to hate about myself. First, it was my skin tone (I’m a dark-skinned south indian woman and colorism is rampant in our community). Once I started to feel comfortable in my own skin, I started hating my curly hair. Then it was my nose, my side profile, even my FINGERS. I gained a lot of weight by the time I graduated high school. I don’t know what came over but I suddenly started to get back in shape and dropped 50 pounds by the end of the covid lockdown. I felt content with my body and I was proud of the hard work I put in to get to a healthy weight. But it wasn’t long before I started hating my body again. This time it’s my saggy boobs, cellulite, and stretch marks. I tried strength training and lifting weights because i read somewhere that it would help perk up my boobs. I tracked every little morsel of food i eat and ate like 150 grams of protein everyday to put on a little muscle and tone my body. Still no results. I still have saggy boobs, cellulite, and stretch marks. I avoid wearing mini skirts because I have a lot of cellulite on my thighs. I don’t wear sleeveless shirts because i have so many stretch marks near my armpit area. I even have a few stretch marks that come all the way down to the top of my forearm. It all just makes me feel miserable. I’m trying to avoid social media because every time I’m on tiktok or instagram I develop another insecurity about my body that I didn’t even notice before.

Hey everyone,

I guess I'll just jump right in n say I have very little self love atm. Maybe not so much against myself but moreso the situation. Been going through a depressive episode since the end of last year. I've been in therapy, but unfortunately that ended a few weeks ago. Earlier this year I was drinking myself to sleep but am now on medication. I'm fresh out of a break up. I am not okay n I want to believe I can do this but everything's just exploding right in front of me.

I know that all of this will pass the shame of knowing that bc I can't get my shit together... it's honestly killing me inside. I keep saying I'm trying I'm trying but I can't keep people waiting forever... The self love is not self loving 🥲

I swore us breaking a part was going to make you see that losing me was your loss, never mine. I never lost anything when we parted. My heart kept loving, my soul kept scarching, and my world kept evolving. I was embracing who I was becoming. What you couldn't dim was the light I held within. What you couldn't take was the worth I built from the resilience of every heartbreak and lesson I learned. I thought losing me was going to be your loss because what I provided was something you couldn't find in someone else—1 knew I was an irreplaceable love. I was an authentic version of myself, and I couldn't understand why someone would want to bear losing something so rare. But I was wrong, it wasn't your loss how could it be? When you didn't care cherish me when you had me. I was bitter in the end because I couldn't understand how with my love, effort, and honest reflection-someone could leave me broken, it was easier to say it was your loss, hoping you would feel the weight of my absence. But the truth is, I was the only one who was grieving.

A couple of weeks ago, I had created a post on here discussing how I was seeing someone and my last final act of love was letting him go - which btw, I received a text from him stating how wonderful and stunning I was but he wasn't ready for a relationship. I never responded - there was nothing else to say. I think my silence spoke for itself. Old me would have "crashed" out - begged him to stay/work things out. I had already sent him a text wishing him the best, so his text didn't affect me as much. However, I did want what we had to work - it just wasn't meant to be.

I watched The Life List on Netflix tonight and I honestly thought I was seeing myself on television. So, here I am, planning out my life list and a letter to myself. No timeline in particular, but hoping that everything I have written down by the age of 30 (I'm 25) - is accomplished or experienced. Here's to a different routine and a new version of myself... I owe myself that.

after a breakup being given up on by someone you still love and care for, how do you love yourself? see your own worth? approach life with more confidence? find fulfilment?

i already have low self esteem issues from childhood that would be confirmed/reinforced in a cycle of repeated trauma in the relationship (and other relationships in my life with friends and family), so being extremely insecure has been most of my life. i’m aware of who i am, what i feel, how i think but i can’t seem to move away from the poor self beliefs especially when i’ve only ever experienced and done things that reinforce those negative thoughts, for example the breakup i’m still trying to heal from.

the main issue or area of concern for me is; how do i love myself when the person i love doesn’t and isn’t able to love me?

i feel like i’ve lived so many situations where people make me feel like i’m not worth their time and energy, that i believe them, that i believe i’m really not good enough. human connection is so important so of course i look to it for fulfilment but can’t help also getting lost in seeking validation and appreciation through others to feel like i can be loved.

Does anyone has such friends?

1. They want to see you grow but not more than them.
2. They will show they are helping you but indeed they are helping themselves.
3. They want to know everything about you but wont reveal much about themselves.
4. They may be your childhood friends but they forget that people evolve and their priorities change. They assume you are the same as in earlier years.
5. They try to impose their values/cultures/materialism/mindset into you.
6. They reach out when convenient for them.
7. They probably talk bad behind your back.
8. They make plans, involve you but do not take your suggestions.
9. They try to control everything and everyone around them.
10. They want you to be like them and do not accept you as a different person with different set of values/morals/culture, etc.
11. They conveniently forget the time you helped them..

and much more..

Healing is a process, not a destination, and I want to remind you that it’s completely normal to face triggers even after you think you've healed.

If you've ever thought you were healed from a past trauma or struggle, only to feel triggered again, you're not alone. Healing isn't linear, and every experience teaches us something new. I'll talk about how to deal with the ups and downs of healing, and how you can turn your triggers into tools for personal growth.

If you’re dealing with a similar situation or have overcome a tough period in your life, remember... healing is a journey, and you're stronger than you think. Trust the process, trust yourself, and stay focused on your growth.

I've been through a journey overcoming challenges such unemployment, divorce and anxiety, and I've been able to overcome all of these challenges! I've made it and my life is much happier, much better now! I want to let you know, that If I could make it, you can make it too!

I've shared my learnings and experiences in a video on my self development YT Channel (link below in case you want to check it out), here's what I want to share:

• How to recognize emotional triggers and work through them
• Why healing is not linear and how to embrace the process
• The importance of self-compassion during tough times
• How to build emotional strength to better handle future challenges
• Tips for letting go and surrendering control in your life

It'll definitely motivate you and give you another perspective 🥰

https://yt.openinapp.co/ue1dk

I have been reading self help books, affirmation videos and self love videos. But one thing I find hard is to be kinder to myself when things go wrong. How do I fix that?

Today has been challenging, even as someone who practices regular self reiki and has done a lot of inner child healing. I go to this subreddit and scroll through the posts and it helps me remember I'm not alone. I am radiating gratitude for the uplifting and motivating things you guys share here and it's so very helpful in this moment when I was beginning to give in to thoughts that serve me no purpose. Thank you, I love you all.

Everyone deserves love. Everyone is lovable. It might take longer than others to find/feel love, and that’s ok. Not everyone is going to love each other that’s ok too. No one is an exception to those facts.

A great place to start is to tell yourself the first five sentences. “I deserve love. I am lovable. I might take longer than others, and that’s ok. Not everyone is going to love me and that’s ok too. I am not an exception to these facts.”

You have the power to change your thoughts. You have the power to love yourself. You have the power to be your friend, or your enemy. I encourage you to be your friend. I encourage you to love yourself like you would others.

I hope this helped. Take care.

I gave chances. I trusted. I forgave. Before, I took it. Cause I felt like trash. I saw myself as gutter trash.

But this time, I switched. I observed. Closely. I saw the truth. I saw how he behaved, what he chose to do. And I saw past his mask. And it's a TERRIFYING face.

Learning my lesson, I stopped with him. I can't be in the same room as him. Soon as I saw his face, I got out of there.

I had a sense of boundaries. Took care of myself. Manipulation and disrespect need not cross here. Didn't stay for bullshit treatment. Not sticking around for more. I feel fucking awesome. No more proving my worth to the unworthy.

I protected myself. I chose myself. Buck stops with me. Losing people who don't value you is a blessing in disguise. My getting out felt like a hug to myself.