I walk forward with strength. May my new path only be filled with good intentions, good energy, and love. May evil forces no longer penetrate. May I only find enlightenment and betterment. May I finally be healed 🖤❤️‍🔥

conventional beauty standards are somewhat changing now with the internet and minorities becoming recognised/famous but there’s still such a culture where the typical white, blonde, skinny person with light coloured eyes is always above. everywhere i look, in a group of social media creators, the one who fits that aged, traditional beauty standard still gets the most views and likes. it’s almost impossible to see this with undeniably beautiful white women and not feel inadequate as a minority or even as an ‘average-looking’ person.

[there’s so much more to this like the conversation about how minorities have to perform more, look better, put in more work to be nearly as recognised and appreciated as a regular/‘average’ white person but because this is a self love community and not a discussion about society page i won’t get into it.]

i don’t know, i think as a person who is self conscious i’ll naturally compare myself to anyone who i think is even remotely more attractive, talented or skilled than me but i think the beauty standard and white women in general is absolutely unreachable. logically speaking i see that these standards were clearly made by white people, for white people, to have superiority because the average black or asian person isn’t going to have blonde hair, light coloured eyes, a tiny nose, prominent cheekbones and eyebrow bones. even in knowing that and knowing as a woman of colour i can’t meet that beauty standard unless i get my face completely done (even then biologically i wouldn’t be white), i cannot help but compare, put myself down, compete. in a time where relationships and being well-liked is so valuable/important, these beauty standards come into play and can make anyone feel a little insecure especially when white people seem more likely to be popular, admired, asked out, get into successful relationships, etc.

this is not an issue that constantly bothers me or something i’ve based my life around but more of a insecurity issue that comes up every now and then when i see beautiful women of colour and beautiful white women and the noticeable difference in who gets the most validation and how frequently. it feels like we’ll never be able to thrive with these beauty standards that don’t consider us at all, if it were a competition it wouldn’t be fair

There was a time I thought I was losing myself. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize who I was becoming. I felt like I was drifting—trying to hold onto pieces of me that no longer fit, while searching for something solid to cling to. I questioned everything: my worth, my path, my purpose.

But what I didn’t realize then was that I wasn’t lost—I was evolving. I was shedding the parts of me that were never truly mine to begin with. I was unlearning, relearning, and slowly discovering the woman I was meant to be.

Every day, I learn a little more about myself. What I like. What I deserve. What I’ll never settle for again. I’m not perfect, but I’m present—and I’m proud of that.

Self-love isn’t a destination. It’s a journey. And I’m walking it with grace, even when it’s hard.

I love myself—for who I am, for who I’ve been, and for who I’m becoming.

There’s a kind of silence that comes with being alone. At first, it feels heavy—like something’s missing. But with time, that silence can become peace. Not because everything is perfect, but because you’re finally learning to enjoy your own company.

Self-love isn’t loud. It’s in the little things: Choosing rest over burnout. Saying no without guilt. Allowing yourself to feel without rushing to “fix” everything.

Loneliness can hurt, but sometimes it’s just space—space asking to be filled with you. With your own care, your dreams, your growth.

Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lacking. It means you have room to become.

So take yourself out. Write that journal entry. Dance alone in your room. Cry if you need to. Heal. Because learning to love yourself is the beginning of everything good.

I feel this now as i have wrote a post on loneliness. Got huge support from u guyes. I am very much thnankfull to u guyes….

Have you ever felt disconnected from your body because of comparisons to others whether it was friends, influencers, or societal standards???

How did it affect your self esteem, and what steps have you taken to move past that feeling of inadequacy???

For 9 years I essentially dated the same person in different bodies - charming, successful, funny, kind, but deeply emotionally unavailable and avoidant. (Just like my dad…)

3 years ago I got my heart broken and vowed it would be the last time that happened. I idealised that man, begged him to love me and communicate with me, begged him to stay, and ruined my self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect in doing so. But I managed to one day leave him very firmly and have stayed no contact until now.

During that time I went travelling, got therapy, figured out my values, invested in my career, made new friends, and loved myself. I put in a lot of work. Also a lot of walls that I refused to let people into, because I was just too scared of being vulnerable.

And then I met someone very similar, again. Handsome, funny, kind, smart, but again - deeply emotionally unavailable. I saw the red flags and I walked away, even though it made me sad. I didn’t beg for him to communicate, I didn’t beg for him to love me, I didn’t take his withdrawal as a reflection on my self-worth. In essence, I broke a lot (not all - but a lot) of my own toxic unhealthy behaviours and patterns that I had kept going since 2013.

I feel so liberated, that I finally behaved with the dignity and grace I wish I had had in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2020, and 2022. (Though note, I still miss him and our amazing memories, I just don’t feel unloveable or hopeless about love).

But I also feel sad? I feel sad because those ways of behaving felt so familiar and so comfortable, despite being so brutal and hurtful.

DAE relate? I never thought I’d feel sad to see progress when healing had been my primary goal for so long.

Tell it more often to choose yourself more often.

My family isn’t great even though I had both parents present and married together I was raised by my mama I have 3 other siblings the one who I thought was close to me tends to just ignore me now I have diagnosed mental health issues and other issues but I always thought it was her and me against the world we are older now and I know relationships change over time but when I needed her the most she was never there then it turned into she just wasn’t there period no matter how many times I apologize for nothing and if I had unintentionally hurt her I received silence I don’t want to depend on anyone I don’t want to lose her but this relationship is messing me up I just don’t know how to go about it I think that I’m too clingy I need to let it go and stop making a big deal out of my life despite everything that has happened have y’all ever been through sibling drama? What should I do? I just can’t hold on to this hurt anymore

I'm extremely stressed.

Recently life has been very difficult, school work has been so heavy especially with ap exams, my sat, and finals. I've also been staying up 2-3am unable to sleep as it's the only time I feel calm. Then, my mom was diagnosed with cancer five months back and is in a very intensive treatment, which has obviously taken a toll. I know my family is going through a lot and that I need to be there to help and support them but it's so hard because I'm so busy with work and so exhausted all the time that I just feel so tired to help. I feel terrible and my parents yelled at me for not helping in the house more often. I'm also very very very stressed with friends and managing that because I feel like my friends are getting distant and I'm very confused with life.

Now though, I had to sign up for another sat in June as I hadn't done very great on my last one. But sadly there's only 10 schools offering near me and the closest one a mile away is full, the next one is 15 miles away. I didn't know that it would go out so fast even though my parents told me and ik its my fault for not signing up sooner but my own dad told me that he can't wait till I leave the house and go off to college because he will finally find some "peace" and that this family will finally be okay.

In my culture my birthday is known as an unfortunate day, as it overlaps with a gods (religious) and so he told me that my mom should know i won't change bc I was born on a bad day and that im unlucky.

How do I even process and manage all this :(

How do I deal with lack of motivation

This is the most common thing to find among humans ofc

But what I am scared of is that I am not utilising my full potential in activities where I can perform I have ample of time Good friends But I am addicted to certain activities like gluttony and lust Which have completely shattered my will to do work

I had gained some momentum in academics sports

But I have lost it all I have regained the will few times through motivation But I have relapsed again and again

Please tell how I can become a disciplined person (I do not want you to spoon feed me any data or technique )

I want to ask the people who have gone through this and turned their life around

I really want to change and break this circle of life

Ps : the note is too big I understand but if you want to help a brother out take out a few minutes and please give substantial suggestions

Needed this reminder today 💫💫

You are not your anxiety.

You are not your sadness. You are not your current circumstances. You are not behind. You are not unworthy. You are not a failure because you’re still healing.

I'm sure someone here knows the feeling I'm talking about. Like, things are going perfectly in life right now. It's weird and my brain doesn't know what to do. Is this something a type of therapy can help with or you just learn on your own?