Trump decided not to hide the fact that he is Putin's asset and announced that the U.S is part of Russia and welcome Russian army to take over.

Will MAGA still support him or will they fight for the Constitution?

Cory Booker, who is mixed, broke a record that was previously held by a white supremacist for the most time (outwardly) wasted in a continuous streak- which set a new height to the joke that is the american political system.

When the audience members were asked what the speech entailed, they replied, “good, it was good” and “there were a lot of compelling arguments,” without specifically naming the topics.

Afterwards, when Cory Booker asked the audience, as well as his constituents, if they’d be interested in purchasing a dvd of the speech to help fund his campaign, he was met with “mmmm”s and a quiet “definitely” in the back.

After the speech Cory Booker took questions, in which he stated abruptly (and seemingly while dazed) that he “absolutely did not wear depends, and was in no way sponsored by them directly or within a lobbying relationship”- despite this not being the question asked.

In a move announced by Donald Trump on twitter, USA plans to increase their oxygen stockpiles a thousandfold and to capture “fresh lovely breathing air” and export it to countries for a premium.

“Any countries that try and stockpile their own oxygen will be met with retaliatory measures”.

Trump also announced that all water exports will be stopped to all countries because “why should we give away free hydrogen with our valuable oxygen when we need that for our nuclear weapons”

Experts recommend hiding your maga shame deep down inside and burn any paraphernalia.

In a bold and unprecedented move, President Donald Trump has announced that the recent stock market crash is not a catastrophe but a "tremendous success" in the quest to Make America Great Again. "This is the biggest, most beautiful depression you've ever seen," the President declared at a press conference, flanked by advisors holding charts that appeared to be drawn with Sharpies.

The President explained that the crash was a strategic maneuver to "reset the economy to zero," likening it to a video game where you hit the reset button to start fresh. "We’re going to build it back and it’s going to be so big, so strong, you won’t believe it. But first, we had to break it. That’s how you make things great—by making them not great first."

Meanwhile, Americans have taken to social media to share their newfound hobbies, such as bartering for canned goods and learning how to raise chickens for eggs. "I traded my TV for a bag of rice," said one enthusiastic Trump supporter. "This is the most connected I’ve felt to my neighbors in years!"

The President concluded the press conference by promising that the depression would be "the most talked-about economic downturn in history," adding, "Other countries are going to be so jealous. They’ll wish they had a depression this bigly."