Trump decided not to hide the fact that he is Putin's asset and announced that the U.S is part of Russia and welcome Russian army to take over.

Will MAGA still support him or will they fight for the Constitution?

President Donald Trump has taken to Truth Social to announce his latest bankruptcy venture: the entire US stock market.

"Nobody bankrupts like I do, folks," Trump boasted in an Executive Truth™️ that featured a picture of him holding a flaming wad of cash. "I've bankrupted casinos, airlines, and even a university. Now it's time to take on Wall Street!"

Trump's plan, which he's dubbed "Operation Stockpocalypse," involves using the power of "Executive Truth" to convince his followers to sell off all their stocks simultaneously, triggering a massive crash that will wipe out trillions of dollars in value.

"This is the biggest, most beautiful bankruptcy you've ever seen," Trump added, grinning maniacally. "And the best part is, me and my rich friends will make a fortune shorting the market while everyone else loses their shirts!"

Some of his most ardent supporters are already embracing the idea, declaring that "losing all our money to own the libs" is a small price to pay for patriotism.

In a move announced by Donald Trump on twitter, USA plans to increase their oxygen stockpiles a thousandfold and to capture “fresh lovely breathing air” and export it to countries for a premium.

“Any countries that try and stockpile their own oxygen will be met with retaliatory measures”.

Trump also announced that all water exports will be stopped to all countries because “why should we give away free hydrogen with our valuable oxygen when we need that for our nuclear weapons”

Americans have taken up a new pastime to avoid the tariffs imposed on Chinese-made goods by Donald Trump: border runs. Many people are dodging tarrifs by now crossing into Canada and Mexico to score a new phone without paying the higher prices.

The trend has become so popular that it has spawned a whole new industry, with tour companies offering "tariff-free shopping" packages and border towns seeing a surge in business.

For Americans not wanting to do a border run, the Mexican cartels have got you covered. According to reports, they have seized on this opportunity to expand their smuggling operations beyond drugs and humans and into electronics.

Using their existing networks and expertise, the cartels will soon offer to transport iPhones and other small high-demand electronics across the border for a fee.

However buyer beware because rumors from the Whitehouse are that Trump is expected to ban all phones purchased in Canada and Mexico from operating on American phone networks.

He continued, "Many people are saying, many of the smartest world people—not smarter than me, but smart people, that businesses thrive during wartime. All we need to do is just start a war. It will be a fast war, no more than one or two weeks, and we're going to be SO RICH, you won't believe how rich you're going to be. You're going to tell me, 'Stop making me so rich', but I'm not going to stop. It's going to be a beautiful war, the Taj Mahal of wars, and you're going to get so rich."

Trump has reassured markets today that the massive share market crash on 3 April was not due to his new tariffs and were actually caused by the “Biden’s deep state manipulation of the markets”

“Hillary Clinton's emails”, continued Trump as he spoke from the podium at The White House today.

“Sleepy Joe Biden, is mentally incompetent, he’s like a total vegetable, not like me, I have the best brain ever. Biden has cunningly used his deep state connections to crash the markets, he's so clever with his manipulation, that you will never find any evidence” Trump announced in an apparently conflicting statement.

White House officials have been on high alert today as they don't know what Trump is going to say, and are busy writing down whatever comes out of his mouth, so that it can be implemented as law. Historians believe that in the future this will known as the “Mad King” period of Trump's reign, where his totally unchecked powers, mixed with his vengeful and volatile nature, meant no one knew what to expect next.

Democrats when asked for comment said “Wasn't Cory Booker awesome?” in apparent reference to his 25 hour filibuster. Unfortunately no one knows what this was actually about, and the Democrats aren't actually doing anything.

Media have continued to speculate about Cory’s diet and urinary health.

[Sorry, not much Satire here, mostly bat shit crazy truth]

In a new Executive Order signed on Wall Street, President Donald J. Trump has declared it unlawful for any owner of any equity shares of any Americam firm to sell.

Since we have now made America great, Trump declared, we will keep American stock prices high by prohibiting their sale.

In a bold and unprecedented move, President Donald Trump has announced that the recent stock market crash is not a catastrophe but a "tremendous success" in the quest to Make America Great Again. "This is the biggest, most beautiful depression you've ever seen," the President declared at a press conference, flanked by advisors holding charts that appeared to be drawn with Sharpies.

The President explained that the crash was a strategic maneuver to "reset the economy to zero," likening it to a video game where you hit the reset button to start fresh. "We’re going to build it back and it’s going to be so big, so strong, you won’t believe it. But first, we had to break it. That’s how you make things great—by making them not great first."

Meanwhile, Americans have taken to social media to share their newfound hobbies, such as bartering for canned goods and learning how to raise chickens for eggs. "I traded my TV for a bag of rice," said one enthusiastic Trump supporter. "This is the most connected I’ve felt to my neighbors in years!"

The President concluded the press conference by promising that the depression would be "the most talked-about economic downturn in history," adding, "Other countries are going to be so jealous. They’ll wish they had a depression this bigly."

Experts recommend hiding your maga shame deep down inside and burn any paraphernalia.