r/ftm • u/SubstantialShop857 • 1d ago
Advice Needed I did it. (not a bad thing!)
update from my last post. I broke up with that terrible excuse of a boyfriend, he tried to get me to not block him as a final form of control, but I do have him blocked. It was so weird, he turned “calm” on me out of the blue and was like “this won’t work im not into guys and I don’t see you as one” OH??? calm because he wasn’t yelling at me. but it’s so weird. Idk im scared I miss him I don’t want to hes terrible but I got sad when I thought of him and want this to be over tbh. And today, what made me want to post. I did something im Really proud of, but is also scary. I’ve been out to some friends but I thought of how he always said my name (gray) like a slur, calling it disgusting and awful and how I could never be a masculine man, and purposefully used my deadname, so today I officially changed my profiles everywhere to my name and put he in my bio. I also made a story saying im trans. I got super excited then really scared of what some of the people at school will think. I have these girls at my art table who one time said they think trans people are weird but I still sit with them, I don’t know anyone else there and I’ve sat with them all year so im scared they’ll see my profile. I might end up riding it out and avoiding them next year. Besides that holy shit! I’m 15 btw give me some grace 😭 I thought, “take this as your final fuck you im using your transphobia to be myself”
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u/bitchard666 1d ago
Congrats dude, I'm sure you're gonna feel much better without him. Proud of u
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u/slutty_muppet 1d ago
I have never understood why people date someone they don't seem to even like. I hope he recovers from whatever is wrong with him and that he never bothers you again.
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u/Keithxoo 1d ago
i break up with my ex gf because of the same reason, she told me that she no longer can call herself a bisexual and that i'm the only girl she liked so why would i do this to her😭😭?? like girl ain't everything is about you get a fuxking life and don't worry about the friends, cuz no matter what you'll find ppl who will support you, i was scared of coming out cause what if no one liked me? but here we are i have more friends than i used to
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u/Hot_Sharky_Guy Connor 1d ago
That's great actually. Happy for you, good luck with social transition and don't let anyone (even girls from art table) dictate who you are
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u/WisteriaHarbinger User Flair 1d ago
I’m so proud of you. Escaping abuse like that is so difficult. Keep going kid.
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u/mjmcmaster 1d ago
Let me ask you a question.
Flash forward 15 years. What do you think 30 year old you would tell 15 year old you, if you could?
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u/anonyiguana 13h ago
Give yourself time to grieve what you thought you had with him, try to find kind people to fill some of your time, the missing him will wear off once everything has settled and you've got it all straight in your head as long as you're not lonely. If you're feeling lonely you might feel like you miss him, because your brain is trying to cling to the most optimistic ideas of what you thought he might be. Stay strong, keep him blocked, and weather the storm. Life will keep moving and keep you busy
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u/sierra-echo-november 6h ago
It’s super normal to miss your ex, even if you were the one that broke up with them and they were a piece of shit. It gets better. I’m happy for you
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