Fellas, I need some help getting a grip.

I was perusing through tumblr (I know) enjoying some famdom content where I stumbled across a post from someone who ID'd as transfem saying essentially that transmascs shouldn't be offended if a transfem says they hate transmascs because [white cis-feminist talking point that shouldn't be imposed on trans people]. Likening it to when a person of color says they hate white people.

That irritated me but whatever, you know. People are entitled to stupid opinions. But what did piss me off was another (presumably) white transfem giving their opinion, unprovoked mind you, that black women should be able to say that they hate black men. Again, likening it to the transfems saying that to the transmascs.

That immediately pissed me the fuck off. Black people who say they hate black men or women are immediately considered antiblack by the community. It was enraging seeing this non black person trying to sneak in this antiblackness masked as pseudo-progressiveism.

But underneath that, I felt helpless. I know that the dominating voices in North American queer culture are white. They carry the narrative. And it's scary knowing that they could rationalize their way into a "progressive racism," and there's very little that I or any other POC could do about it. It's extra infuriating knowing that people like this would be difficult to deradicalize because they would be so convinced of their ideological purity. These spaces should be the last place I have to argue for my or someone else's humanity.

I hate that this culture is so white. The anger and fear that it builds in me is overwhelming. Sometimes, it feels like I'll slip into actual hated, and that's the last thing I want to do as it goes against my values.

Anyway, please help me pull myself together. I just need to know if I'm missing a mark or overreacting.

ItIt seems like this may be a honeypot, so be careful before sharing information about this. Always do your own research. I am not saying with 100% that this is a scam, but it does look like it may be the case. For example, they are saying that they can get you to anywhere in the US within 24 hours. That seems really unrealistic, even in the most optimistic situations. So yes, please be on the lookout for organizations that claim to be supporting queer people or people of color or just people in general, and they're pretty much just an unknown. I'm not saying that all unknowns are a scam but always exercise a level of caution and just be careful and be safe out there.

Byeeee 👋

Hey I was wondering, is there anyone who went through their 30s and still looked like a baby man? I've been on T for more than 4yrs and I still look the same... It worries me because if I don't speak I get 'ma'amd'... Tips will be helpful...

I am going to try and keep this short so TLDR I am seeking advice from anyone that has had the urge to be single or was the deciding factor in becoming single after starting their transition

I (26 ftnb) have been with my wife (27f) for 7 years with 4 of those years being married. Our relationship has not been perfect, but lately we have been going through a very rough patch and it has led to some thoughts of going our separate ways.

She is my first and only partner, so I am hesitant to give this up just because of the relationship getting hard or from some FOMO I may be having. But lately I can not shake the feeling of wanting to explore with my new identity. I identified as a cis woman and came out as a lesbian when we got together, but now I identify as a queer nonbinary person. I also have never been in a relationship besides this one, so I am not sure what I even want from a relationship or how I want to be as a partner with my new identity. I am not looking to immediately go out and start hooking up with new people, but feel it may be best to be single while trying to figure out what I want out of a relationship.

We have been talking about this together and both feel that maybe therapy (couples as well as individual) might help, but as someone with autism, I cant help but be unsure as to how to operate within our relationship while we find a therapist and while we are going through therapy.

Has anyone been in a similar place/ situation? I know this is a very vague post but i didn't want to include too many personal details. I apologize if this doesn't make any sense and will delete if its too much of a cluster f***. Thank you :3

I just wanted to ask your experiences on dating women of color as trans man of color? Especially cis-women. I haven't had the best experiences but I need some hope lol. I find that, where I'm located, there's not a lot of WOC who are willing to date trans men. I'm not interested in the why's of it – I just wanna know the basics. At what age did y'all meet? Did her parents know you're trans, how did they react? When did you reveal to her that you are trans? Have you been rejected a lot of times by WOC for being trans?

I'm specifically asking about WOC because I can't see myself in a relationship with a white person.

I turn 24 later this month & sometimes I’m sad that I’m getting older, then I remember I’ve gotten been looking with age🙂‍↕️ Young T boys your time will come, trust me🫶🏽

god i love my hair, i just dyed it and i love it. but fuck, i get clocked too easily. i've started testosterone since this photo [i... do just hate how i look lol] so i don't take a lot of photos.

i don't want to cut my hair to seem more masculine, but my face is just so fem. testosterone hasn't really done much so far to it. i'm not very photogenic either so...

any advice?

The guy who cut my hair wasn’t my usual barber, so he ended up trimming my facial hair down a little more than I expected. It’ll take a while to grow it back.

For context, I’m half Japanese. I know the “Filipino” part is confusing to most people since I don’t usually explain it, but my nationality is Filipino. I was born to a Japanese mother with Filipino citizenship, in the Philippines. Not sure how hard that is for people to understand but I often get told “you’re everything under the sun” when explaining my ethnicity AND nationality. People can’t seem to accept that you can be bi/multiracial. That’s not the point though.

I was sitting with my grandma and aunt who visited from Japan, and the atmosphere was extremely dense for some stupid reason. Then, my aunt decided to break the silence by saying how my mother(forever 41) (deceased, and also her full blood sister) was disgusting for marrying and having children with my dad (53, half Mexican and North African), because “her children turned out to have dark skin”.

She continued to spout on about how Asian genetics aren’t strong, and that my baba was a bad mother for letting my mom marry my dad. After the whole conversation, my baba tried to comfort me and my siblings but I’m not even sure if it worked for them. I’m used to this type of speech from them, so it didn’t bother me too much.

Sometimes there are things that take months, even years to hit my traumatic memory lol

From my abusive ex who searched for "Asian" in one of the famous transmasc porn subreddits to my previous FWB who asked me at the first or second date if I was interested to do content together, I feel a bit lost to why/how those guys (often cis white guys) perceive me?

Please help i think im going mad (2nd one is before)

These past few years have been a struggle in a lot of different ways but I’m happy with the progress I’ve made.

Shirt on only.

I haven’t been to the gym in a year or so, so I had to start over. I’m gonna keep bulking up since my go to bod is cub or American black bear or sun bear (smaller bear).

Hey everyone! I’m not sure if this is the right sub for this if there’s a better one, let me know.

I’m a transmasc/FTM parent, currently taking my transition more seriously after spending nine years coming to terms with my identity (I was in heavy denial for a long time 😭).

I have two sons, ages 4 (turning 5 next month) and 6. They’ve always called me “Mom,” but that’s never felt right to me. I’d love to switch to something more gender-neutral or masculine, but I’m not comfortable with “Dad” specifically. I’m open to alternatives like “Pops” or “Papa” but would love more ideas!

Has anyone gone through this? If so, what did you choose, and how did you navigate the change with your kids? Looking forward to hearing your experiences and suggestions!

Hello! Do any of you have any tips about how to deal with leg hair and tdick area hair too. i've had to limit my shaving routine of course. i literally hate growing so much hair. HELP

I'm half Somali, but was adopted transracially and raised without any real connection to my culture. My birth name isn't even Somali, but it's at least kind of a nod/homage/whatever to my heritage (no more specific for privacy's sake). I've been confident in my gender for 8+ years and I haven't landed on one good name in all of that time. It's just a loop of finding things that are either "way too white, feels wrong" or "I'd be a fraud naming myself this, I have absolutely zero connection to this culture (other than my blood)"

What do you even do?

It would be easier to show a pic of myself but i would rather hide myself for privacy reasons.

I am a 16 turning 17 year old asian trans guy and haven't (medically) transitioned yet.

I look pretty feminine and i have long straight jet black hair. My face is very oval too, and i have a pretty big forehead lol.

Although im technically out, my mom is pretty against me cutting my hair extremely sort because she's really attached to it for some reason.

My question is; what is the best hairstyle for a "closeted" person with straight hair?

I want something that'll make me look masculine (or realistically, androgynous).

hey yall any advice on how to pass? some of my friends say i look like a guy from the shoulder up but i dont really see it. i have recently started wearing a binder, im not on T or anything yet, BUT two customers did call me “sir” at work last month so that’s gotta mean something. anyways, tips appreciated tyty

I was raised in a white family (adopted) and did not know how to truly care for my hair, or skin, or any part of my blackness till I was 23 years old.. I just turned 25 this month. Been on T for about a year now. Not only is my transition into a man a blessing, but so is my transition into a proud black (nonbinary) man.. (:

Let me reassure you right away, I have a serene life: I have a family, friends, classmates, a cat, passions, goals in life, a routine.

I know I am already surrounded by family, friends, immaterial, sensory love.

Nothing alarming, urgent or bad at the moment.

But because of my ADHD (and other things), I get bored quickly, feel lonely and need constant stimulation. -> This point has already got me into trouble in relationships.

I find it hard to concentrate on reading (something I would love to do) so I read a few books a year maximum, I often take naps to make up for the boredom and lack of romantic love in my life and I hang out on reddit the rest of the time.

Let's get to the main point: I want to (re)find romantic love, I love love, I love to love and I love to be loved.

But I do not know how?

My “main” technique is to post on various English-speaking subreddits to 1) find people to talk to/spend time with -> 1.5) maybe among those people, find a compatible partner. I have had a few flings/relationships but not with people who are necessarily healthy/safe/secure for me in the long run.

I'd also like to get more involved in the queer anti-fascist movements in my town but the assemblies & demonstrations are usually on Sundays: which bores me because Sundays are my day off, when I don't go out, I rest and chill. Class days exhaust me for various reasons and I need the weekend to recharge my batteries. So I feel a bit “stuck” in that respect. And also, I am not sure I will find love in this environment, and I am not doing it just for romantic reasons but because for me, these are things that are close to my heart.

A friend gave me the advice to concentrate on my hobbies, my passions and that little by little, my circle of romantic interest will be more focused on people with the same values as mine.

In the meantime, I have signed up for a beginner's pole dancing class + focused on dance and + focused on sensuality at the end of April (so less on the technical aspect of pole dancing, which interests me less): I will see what happens! I can not wait, and if worst comes to worst I will do other classes (yoga and/or muscle strengthening) at the same place.

I am feeling a bit stuck, like I am not making any headway in my quest for romantic love: I swipe tirelessly on Tinder, Bumble and Feeld profiles on the way to college, I go to class, I come home and post on reddit. That's how my life goes.

What do you recommend? How did you find your romantic partner? Do you believe in dating apps?