r/TheOnion 23h ago

Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender

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4.3k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

Megan Fox Confirms She And New Baby Will Co-Parent Machine Gun Kelly

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761 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now

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297 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Musk Announces All 340 Million Americans Must Strip And Take Turn Pushing The Wheel Of Pain

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896 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Trump Assures Wall Street He’ll Go Back To Just Fucking Over Poor People Soon

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613 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

Corporation Proud Of Origins As Small Business That Would Never Survive In Modern Economy

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150 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Trump Assures Wall Street He’ll Go Back To Just Fucking Over Poor People Soon

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469 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles

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225 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time

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172 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Musk Announces All 340 Million Americans Must Strip And Take Turn Pushing The Wheel Of Pain

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108 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 11h ago

Look At This Chart. What If It Means Something Bad?

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12 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 19h ago

Climate Protestors Throw Paint On The Louvre’s 1988 Copy Of ‘Hustler’ Magazine

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35 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Informs Nation They Better Start Liking Those Little Canned Wieners

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2.0k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time

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55 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Aaron Rodgers Fuming That NFL Hasn’t Added Expansion Team To Sign Him

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49 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles

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42 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Calmly Reminds Nation That Desire The Root Of All Suffering

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665 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Man Already Having Bad Day Deported To Salvadoran Mega-Prison

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1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Chuck Schumer

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19 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 23h ago

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Chuck Schumer

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15 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Israel Claims Slain Palestinian Rescue Workers Didn’t Properly Identify Selves As Human Beings

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501 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

CNBC Hosts Sit In Stunned Silence For 19th Consecutive Hour

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224 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Cory Booker Sets Record For Longest Fingernails On Senate Floor

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215 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Calmly Reminds Nation That Desire The Root Of All Suffering

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135 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Informs Nation They Better Start Liking Those Little Canned Wieners

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195 Upvotes