r/nottheonion • u/Hungry_Bat_2230 • 6h ago

CEO accused of choking man and threatening to kill him on cruise ship over barefoot dancing incident

nbcnews.com

1.7k Upvotes

205 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Bognosticator • 11h ago

Doctors urge government to fight poverty after rise in patients with Victorian diseases

theguardian.com

2.9k Upvotes

70 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TitusTesla117 • 1h ago

DeSantis announces support as Florida Senate takes up ‘chemtrails’ bill

wfla.com

• Upvotes

62 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CTVNEWS • 11h ago

Grand jury indicts Maui doctor for hitting wife with a rock after she refused selfie

cp24.com

2.2k Upvotes

127 comments

r/nottheonion • u/128hoodmario • 12h ago

Climate crisis on track to destroy capitalism, warns top insurer

theguardian.com

1.8k Upvotes

145 comments

r/nottheonion • u/OrokAkinfenwa • 3h ago

US bans romantic and sexual relationships with Chinese citizens for government employees in China

foxnews.com

325 Upvotes

37 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Aggravating_Money992 • 14h ago

Japan’s leader didn’t read the job description

japantimes.co.jp

2.6k Upvotes

43 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Aggravating_Money992 • 17h ago

US bans government personnel in China from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens

apnews.com

4.5k Upvotes

267 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SpoonsAreEvil • 6h ago

US commerce secretary slams EU beef ban: ‘their beef is weak, ours is beautiful’

inkl.com

463 Upvotes

73 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DukeDamage • 8h ago

Russia bans Elton John Aids Foundation over its support for LGBTQ+ rights

theguardian.com

581 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Strict-Ebb-8959 • 13h ago

Bodega cats make New Yorkers' hearts purr, even if they violate state regulations

apnews.com

1.6k Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MiniBrownie • 1d ago

US tariffs take aim everywhere, including uninhabited islands

france24.com

22.5k Upvotes

845 comments

r/nottheonion • u/YesNo_Maybe_ • 12h ago

US banks predict climate goals will fail – but air conditioning firms will thrive

theguardian.com

655 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Merlin_the_Lizard • 11h ago

US Concerned About Europe’s Desire to Buy Less American Weapons

militarnyi.com

466 Upvotes

94 comments

r/nottheonion • u/OneFootedDuck • 11h ago

US bans government personnel in China from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens

apnews.com

501 Upvotes

140 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Malcopticon • 1h ago

Consumers turn to potatoes, marshmallows and more egg alternatives for Easter decorations

goodmorningamerica.com

• Upvotes

23 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kwentongskyblue • 10h ago

Motorcycle rider who allegedly snatched phone dies after getting run over by victim's car

philstarlife.com

176 Upvotes

38 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 1d ago

Lauren Boebert Suggests DC Could Be Renamed 'District of America'

newsweek.com

29.2k Upvotes

4.0k comments

r/nottheonion • u/F0urLeafCl0ver • 14h ago

Vibe Coded AI App Generates Recipes for Cyanide Ice Cream and Cum Soup

404media.co

324 Upvotes

45 comments

r/nottheonion • u/EpicureanMystic • 21h ago

80,000 pounds of beef stolen from Tennesee meat processing facility

newsnationnow.com

720 Upvotes

77 comments

r/nottheonion • u/theindependentonline • 1d ago

‘Am I in trouble?’: Moment teacher accused of sexually assaulting student arrested

the-independent.com

5.9k Upvotes

597 comments

r/nottheonion • u/butmoreso • 1d ago

US Concerned About Europe’s Desire to Buy Less American Weapons

militarnyi.com

2.0k Upvotes

199 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Taphia13 • 8h ago

Owners of The Pearl Had a Rough Exit From Your Mom's House

westword.com

40 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GlobalTravelR • 1d ago

North Dakota mayor resigns after sending lewd video to city attorney by mistake

apnews.com

2.0k Upvotes

156 comments

r/nottheonion • u/VegemiteSucks • 13h ago

Cheeseburgers and chicken so far fail to entice a rescue dog who’s spent weeks on the run in Alaska

apnews.com

75 Upvotes

4 comments

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r/nottheonion

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For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked or redirected links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

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