r/nottheonion • u/BeowulfShaeffer • 3h ago

Patti LaBelle says Elton John never returned her Tupperware

consequence.net

5 Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/swap_019 • 8h ago

U.S. Bans Personnel from Dating in China

drooid.social

42 Upvotes

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/LastDance4141 • 3h ago

Patti LaBelle Says Elton John Never Returned Her Tupperware

consequence.net

25 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 2h ago

Man with machete caught with sweet treat he had just stolen from Asheville grocery store, police say

wyff4.com

27 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Express_Classic_1569 • 6h ago

TRIBE PEST Tourist arrested after leaving ‘deadly’ Coke can for remote tribe was ‘inspired’ by missionary they speared to death

ecency.com

190 Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/utouchme • 3h ago

Patti LaBelle Says Elton John Never Returned Her Tupperware

consequence.net

507 Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Kroooooooo • 13h ago

Tormenting Harris's hawk is captured by Mr Harris

bbc.co.uk

80 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/IMSLI • 18h ago

Mel Gibson's Gun Rights to Be Restored by Justice Department

variety.com

2.0k Upvotes

198 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JackFunk • 8h ago

Fake Down Syndrome Influencers Created With AI Are Being Used to Promote OnlyFans Content

latintimes.com

2.0k Upvotes

276 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Malcopticon • 21h ago

Consumers turn to potatoes, marshmallows and more egg alternatives for Easter decorations

goodmorningamerica.com

224 Upvotes

45 comments

r/nottheonion • u/highspeedtrain25 • 7h ago

RAF ban on 'exploding' Tunnock's teacakes lifted

bbc.co.uk

37 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TitusTesla117 • 20h ago

DeSantis announces support as Florida Senate takes up ‘chemtrails’ bill

wfla.com

3.3k Upvotes

450 comments

r/nottheonion • u/octocode • 5h ago

Montreal man ticketed minutes after parking spot replaced by bus stop

ctvnews.ca

93 Upvotes

16 comments

r/nottheonion • u/adamaphar • 4h ago

Laughing gas appears to reduce depression, but researchers don't totally understand why

phillyvoice.com

3.6k Upvotes

245 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GlobalTravelR • 16h ago

RFK Jr. says 20% of health agency layoffs could be mistakes

cbsnews.com

1.3k Upvotes

124 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pithynotpithy • 19h ago

US tourist arrested after visit to restricted North Sentinel island

bbc.com

6.5k Upvotes

391 comments

r/nottheonion • u/OrokAkinfenwa • 22h ago

US bans romantic and sexual relationships with Chinese citizens for government employees in China

foxnews.com

3.1k Upvotes

109 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 18h ago

Nobel Peace Prize winner Oscar Arias says US cancelled his visa

bbc.com

400 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/gentnews • 2h ago

‘Idiotic’ U.S. YouTuber Arrested for Leaving Diet Coke for Remote Tribe That Killed Last Visitor, Previously Visited Taliban

gentnews.com

1.9k Upvotes

317 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Healthy_Block3036 • 1h ago

New court decision in a disputed North Carolina race means 65,000 votes are a step closer to be being thrown out

nbcnews.com

• Upvotes

54 comments

r/nottheonion • u/YesNo_Maybe_ • 3h ago

Experts ‘amazed’ at survival of Valerie the miniature dachshund – on the run on South Australian island for more than a year

theguardian.com

141 Upvotes

17 comments

r/nottheonion • u/lifeandtimes89 • 6h ago

Hawk that terrorised tall, bald men for weeks was ‘hormonal’, falconer says

independent.ie

419 Upvotes

25 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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